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Posts: 400
12/29/09 11:17 A

No, absolutely not. Not even to be considered. The way people are today, its a challenge to let them walk to the school bus stop in their own neighborhood.

As far as your co-worker is concern, I noticed her child is in college and she didn't offer to help out with her relatives' kids not even hold a baby. For, heaven sakes its a family reunion not a high school reunion.

Yes, it is about seeing old family members but better yet it is about getting to know the new generation of children. If, she thinks the children are going to reach out to her or behave like mini adults she was on the wrong page, hence her frustration.

Maybe, since she has so many complaints, she should organize the next reunion and make sure that the children have games and screened(fingerprinted) professionally trained sitters in cpr. Trust me, for I know when I was 16 and 17 I babysitted for a Hotel in Jersey and management did not ask for any credentials. At that age it was easy money and I knew I could do it and trust me that's all the thought process I gave it. Now, being years older and a wiser mindset no way will I leave my kids with anybody I don't know.

Yes, I know it not an easy task to find a medium with multiple generations but it is doable, and fun can be had by all.

For, you co-worker to come up with a one size fit all solution based on what she did years ago is not right or fair. People children have medical or social needs and yes some kid are just plain bad butts,(and their parents usually do not correct them at all) that is all to be consider when hang out with family on a small scale, she should had imaged what to expect at a grand gathering.

I am in forties and when we that's includes my husband and children 19, 16, and 13 we try to develop relationships and good memories, That has always been a goal and now our children applies that in their everyday socializing. In other words it is what you impart in others that make your life worth living.

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12/27/09 10:20 A

I would never leave my son with a stranger in a hotel. Trust your instinct. If it feels wrong then it is.

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12/18/09 1:49 P

Yes - and I did it in the past - they are security-bonded - but it depends on the quality of the hotel also.

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12/18/09 1:23 P

I just read the first post. What is wrong with being child-centric. Our children are our future & if anything happens to them, we will live with that for the rest of our lives. There is enough guilt on parents today, without adding to it by doing something stupid like leaving them with a complete stranger in another town or city we may never visit again.

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12/18/09 1:16 P

I don't have children but I would not leave my children with a Hotel Babysitter no matter how high class the hotel is or was.

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Posts: 79
12/17/09 3:55 P

Nope not a chance u don't trust all people with your kids

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12/10/09 1:43 P

A hotel babysitter! Not a chance. A family reunion is generally for everyone. Isn't that the point? I understand that people don't often want young children at weddings, but in that case arrange for an in-law or close friend to watch them. I couldn't travel to another city and dump my kid on a hotel babysitter. I have no clue who this person is and I'm not about to take a hotel's word for it. Not a chance!

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12/6/09 10:00 P

No way!

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12/6/09 7:37 P

I was left with a hotel babysitter as a kid and I turned out fine...I think...

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12/6/09 7:08 P

I would not even consider a vacation or family reunion if I had to leave my child with a stranger. I'm with you! It's not kidcentric it's love and concern for your child! I do not want to end up on CNN as a mother of a missing or abused child because I could not take the time to socialize with my child.

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12/4/09 9:38 P

No,I wouldn't.

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12/4/09 9:46 A

H to the E to the double LL - NO!!!!!
Not a chance!

I feel for you in wanting to tell that woman a thing or two. Continue to take the high road. ;)

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Posts: 107
12/2/09 1:56 P

Wow. It sounds like your co-worker has some serious kid issues! You don't have to be a witch, just tell her that you prefer to know who watches your children. (I would NEVER [ever, ever, ever] leave mine with someone I don't know. Just because the Marriott does a background check doesn't mean the sitter hasn't had a bad day/isn't waiting for the right time/etc.)

If you're feeling particularly feisty, drop a little "I haven't found many people who take your hands-off approach, in fact, it almost sounds like neglect'. (Because no conversation, regardless of how interesting, is worth the stress of not knowing what your child is up to and/or the guilt if something awful were to happen to them- God forbid.)

Clearly you're in the majority here. And, think twice before leaving your children with this "friend".

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11/29/09 11:59 A

Good lord, NO!!!! I have a hard enough time leaving my kids with family, let alone a complete stranger.

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11/27/09 3:17 P

Would I leave my child with a hotel baby sitter? Not a chance. It would just be too risky, with all the crazy, insane,people who know how to blend in, in our world. I would have to take someone with who's sole priority would be the childs welfare and well being.

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11/27/09 8:19 A

LLOTHIL...I was a 'home alone kid'...my sister and I were both alone after school and on Saturdays until I was like 14 and Mom got a job teaching. And I take offence at your narrow minded suggestion that my sister and I are "ones to watch out for". We are both responsible upstanding contributing members of society. We are both educated and employed and have been for some time. As 'home alone kids' we had responsibilities early on that made us strong and independent but also well loved and cared for. From the time we were 10 or 11 we cooked supper most nights and all summer...we cleaned, did laundry, dishes and played like all the other kids. We spent long hours outdoors on our bikes or playing baseball or soccer or just running around being kids.

As a matter of fact if you look up the statistics the majority of the abductors, pedophiles, etc... are the ones who as children were "Mommas Baby's" who were never allowed to stray to far from Mommas side. You know those who at 40 still live in Mommas basement. Those are the predators to look out for not the ones who were raised to be independent and responsible.

Posts: 335
11/26/09 10:05 A

Some people have kids and just don't do wll with them. I know a few people like this. The theory that kids should be seen not heard.

I REALLY want to have kids and be a mom. I enjoy my kids, what they say, how they think. But there are people out there that just think thats odd.

As far as a hotel babysitter. I never have, if I was in a situation were I really needed to, it would depend on what kind of background search is done at the hotel.

I think your co-worker just doesn't relate, but you can kindly let her know that yes you are totally kid centered and you like being that way. But you don't have your child at work so it shouldn't effect your working relationship. Goodluck to you...

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11/25/09 5:02 P

I have to agree that I would never leave my kids with the hotel sitter. There is just plain too much that can go wrong. The top of that concern is that they do not know your children. They don't know how to deal with them, or comfort them, or anything else. They're also not likely to know all those little tell tale signs before your child does something that they're not supposed to do. Add that to the fact that you have no idea what kind of person is going to be sitting with your child and you have a recipe for disaster. I'm sure that there are plenty of people who have left their children with hotel sitters before and had nothing happen, but you can say the same thing about kids riding their bikes up and down the block too.

As far as being 'kid-centric', nearly every parent is for the first while at least. Small children and toddlers can NOT be taught to sit still for very long and shouldn't be expected to at a family reunion. I think that it's great that this younger generation is more concerned with their kids. Yes the generation before were more hands off and encouraged independence, which is great, but it's also something that your child is going to do at some point regardless. Just think about the fact that the generation of latch-key kids and home-alone families is the same generation as the people we have to watch our for now. So give that some careful consideration when trying to decide which generations parenting style you should emulate. As a mom of 3 brilliant and happy, healthy, independent munchkins of my own, just remember to trust your gut! If you don't want to leave your child somewhere, or with someone, then don't! As much as your co-worker may want to complain about it, you are the one who has to keep your child safe.

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11/25/09 4:14 P

Next time she says that, tell her the statistic for how many children are kidnapped and killed or molested per year. No I wouldn’t leave my son with a hotel babysitter. Im not super protective, I just want to trust the people. I would leave him with my mom, sister, and most of my friends. Just because you don’t leave your kid all the time doesn’t make you kid centric.

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11/25/09 11:18 A

Never ever. I won't even leave my daughter with my FSIL because I don't think she'd be able to handle it. With all the crazies out there? I was really really skeptical about putting her in daycare let alone leaving her in a Hotel room with a stranger! *shudder*

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11/25/09 3:36 A

Never, never, never have to really know who I left my children with

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11/24/09 11:42 P

Never. I'm way too overprotective.

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11/24/09 11:09 P

no, only because I prefer to have a relationship and familiarity with whomever is in charge of my kids. Its a personal preference and I know others who wouldnt blink an eye but I worry who each and everyone is who comes in contact with my kids. I guess I watch the news too much....

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11/19/09 8:31 A

OK I have no kids (yet) but I have a few things to add...my parents were NOT 'kidcentric'...no one I know had parents that were....what the woman means is that parents today can do absolutely NOTHING without their kids being the center of attention...example...my parents would have company and we came out said hello to Mr and Mrs Soandso and went to play QUIETLY in our room...the discussion in the living room was not about us in any way shape or form. My parents had parties in the house when we were there in bed sleeping and no one came near us or asked about us...some of my friends have kids and when we meet for coffee ALL they talk about is their kids! It's like they were nothing before and will be nothing after, all they are is a parent...that is what 'kidcentric' means. They appear to have no interests outside of their kids and even when out with their spouses all they discuss is the kids.

As for leaving my own kids with a hotel sitter...unless I was desperate to get out...not a chance...I agree that sitters need to be vetted by the parents and really a family reunion involves children but the parents should not have to run around chasing them all day...they're either playing in eyesight or sitting next to you...I mean really if it's all family why not let the kids play and sit and have a chat with the adults. But again parents today don't know how to teach their kids to behave in public settings and that is why they have to chase them around all day.

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11/18/09 5:00 P

I would *never* leave the kids with a hotel sitter. And yes, we care kidcentric, but so were our parents when THEY had small kids. The fact is that small kids take up time. That's what being a parent is all about. She has obviously forgotten what having small kids is really like.

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11/18/09 3:16 P

NO, just don't have the heart to leave them with a stranger.

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11/18/09 2:03 P

I'm with you, I don't get why you'd leave your kids out of a family reunion. Family means kids IMO. I also wouldn't leave my kid with a hotel babysitter. Shoot, there are blood relatives I have that I won't leave her with. Only some family and a couple of very close friends. If not (like daycare), they have to be licensed, bonded, with clean records and multiple references. I don't take chances with my daughter. She's my life. And about the conference... that's silly. I work in an office and I do day travel, etc all the time and my company is very understanding about the kid thing.

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11/18/09 1:43 A

I've watched children at hotel in the past and I must say that I am a very kid centric sitter. It all depends on the service. I might leave my kids with a hotel sitter but I never have yet. Since I live in Hawaii, we usually visit family or friends back on the mainland.

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11/17/09 3:04 P

never

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11/17/09 6:37 A

I never have, don't think I ever would. Family and close friends only.

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11/16/09 8:15 P

i dont leave my child with a sitter very often and when we do it is with grandparents and aunt/uncles. the funny thing is i am told all the time by my parents, grandparents and older church member friends that our generation leaves their children with others way more than they did. her theory is very flawed... and i would never never never leave my child with a hotel nanny!! does she watch the news!! that is just not safe

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11/16/09 7:48 P

Wow! This says a lot about who she is! A "Family Reunion" is just that...FAMILY, kids, grandkids, aunties, uncles, grandmas and great grand dads. If she wanted some adult time, she could have arranged some time for younger adults to take care of a group of children for an hour or so. I would NEVER leave my child with someone I didn't know. Your coworker was way out of line!

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11/16/09 5:51 P

Ok. I just wanted to vent somewhere. I work with a woman, who I do consider a work friend. We have worked together almost 10 years. She is 18 years older than me and has a son that just graduated from college. I have a 2 year old daughter.

I don't offend easily. Really. She has made comments lately that boarder on offensive to me. She was complaining to me about her family reunion. She was annoyed and actually visibly angry with many of the younger families (her nieces and nephews) who have infants and toddlers. She went on and on about how they "used to be interesting people" and she "used to be able to have an intelligent conversation" with these people but now all they do is chase their kids around. She complained about how they had some picnics and pot luck lunches at the reunion (it was a week long event) but the only way to talk to someone was to "chase them around while they chased their kid around." Then, she went on and on about how they could not have dinner at a nice restaurant because various people did not want to attend because their children had to take naps or go to bed (or maybe they were just worried about the kids misbehaving in a nice restaurant). She just complained and complained (and she was SO ANGRY) because "none of them would leave their kids with a babysitter." She just could not believe that these people would go to a FAMILY reunion and not leave their kids with a hotel baby sitter. WHAT? A HOTEL BABYSITTER?. She proceeded to tell me that she and her husband used to leave their son with a hotel babysitter when they went away and that they always went out and left him with a babysitter (and that she had two nannies, blah, blah, blah, blah). It was just so annoying and bizarre to me. Then, she started making statements that "your generation is just too kid-centric."

Since she went on that rant, she has repeatedly mentioned her "kid-centric" theory to me. It just grates on my nerves. If I were a complete witch, I would tell her how terrible a mother I think she is that she left her kid with a stranger and ask her if she really thinks that is wise in this day and age. Idiot. I mean, I would leave my daughter with a babysitter, (but I would prefer not too at a FAMILY REUNION) and I definitely would not leave her in my hotel room with a stranger.

Today, I told her I was not traveling out of town for an optional conference for our profession. She started talking about the "kid centric" theory and about other people she knows that are my age that will not leave their kids with babysitters while traveling out of town.

I don't know. Maybe I am just overly-sensitive because she talks about these things with such conviction-- as if she is just 100% correct.

Annoying.

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