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TOPIC:   parenting dilema!! ADVICE NEEDED!


 
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FIREBALL_V
FIREBALL_V's Photo Posts: 175
12/17/09 9:19 A

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I agree, the school and her parents should have been notified in the beginning. And I don't have a teenage girl, but I do have a boy and would definitely NOT send him to a family whose child was so out of control. I know it's a great opportunity to experience another country..but at what expense? Who knows what influence this girl would be under while there? Remember the girl who went to South America a few years back and never came home? (And for the record, I don't think eating meat all week was that bad! ha ha)



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JEM0622
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12/16/09 9:14 A

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Moving the student to another home does not address the problem. It just moves it to another home. More has to be done in this situation. Sad but true. GL to your colleague.

Julie
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"There are clubs you can't belong to, neighborhoods you can't live in, schools you can't get into, but the roads are always open." - Nike


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NEACEAMN
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12/16/09 8:37 A

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In some countries it is okay for people to do that. I met a girl from the Netherlands where it is legal to drink at 14 and smoking weed is legal, so she has been doing that in America too. She also spends all her time partying. I would call the parents and if it is normal behavior I ,this may just be me, would send her home.



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LIONSMAMA
LIONSMAMA's Photo Posts: 123
11/18/09 5:04 P

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I'd call the school, explain everything that happened, and then request that my daughter stay with a different family, or she would simply not go. Totally unfair to put the 16 year old in the situation of being in a different country, with her resource person this irresponsible, wild girl.

"The difference between the easy way and hard way is that the hard way works" - Terry Prachet


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JAZZMINESUN
Posts: 174
11/18/09 2:30 P

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I'd call the parents. You'd want to know if it was your kid, right? I also wouldn't let my kid go over there, because I wouldn't want her hanging out with that kid in a strange country.



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XINIXINIX
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11/16/09 1:25 P

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I agree - consequences are the *most* effective tool. I hope things are working out for all involved.



"Half-assed convictions yield half-assed results"


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HILARY-ANT
HILARY-ANT's Photo Posts: 180
11/16/09 3:51 A

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thanks for the advice
my colleague is going to talk to the school about it and see if her kid can stay with a different family.

Edited by: HILARY-ANT at: 11/16/2009 (03:51)

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DSPTCHR531
DSPTCHR531's Photo Posts: 93
11/16/09 2:02 A

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I would not let my daughter go stay there. That child learned those behaviors from somewhere.



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HARLEYANGELONE
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11/15/09 11:29 P

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I wouldn't want my daughter even going to the exchange students house for the week..I feel for the young girl who has to go and stay the week with that wild child. If the young girl does that when she is away I am sure she does alot worse when she is home. Hopefully your friends daughter does ok on her trip. It is pretty scary being in a different country and not know anyone. That is not what you would expect when you have an exchange student for the week..She should call the school and the girls parents and let them know what she was up to while she was away. I would be so upset with my kids if they did anything like that.



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MOMMA48
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11/13/09 10:12 P

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A few years ago we had an exchange student live with us and his personality and my son's -- totally opposite! But, at least it was in the ways you're describing. BUT, I heard a lot of horror stories from the parents who took in the girls -- as it was their time to be "free" and they took advantage big time. Some even were sent back to their respective Countries. But, I would agree with talking to the school officials and let them know your concerns. Good luck to you and hope all works out for your family.



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RBRASHER
RBRASHER's Photo Posts: 871
11/13/09 4:37 P

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The best thing they can do for this girl is to penalize this as much as possible. She needs to **KNOW** that there are consequences for her actions. Therefore call the school, call her parents, and let her KNOW why you are doing it. JMO.

Rebecca

Making the right decisions one decision at a time!


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SRFRGRL7163
SRFRGRL7163's Photo Posts: 716
11/13/09 10:45 A

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If it was me, I'd talk to the child's parents before I contacted the school. Generally, it's best in a situation like this to handle it between parents.

The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.
~~Socrates

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
~~Albert Einstein


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CHARLIANGEL3
Posts: 717
11/13/09 10:10 A

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I am trying to put myself in her place, as I have a teenager, and I would definetly speak with the school! (even if that means my daughter did not go with the exchange student!) because honestly what kind of 'role model' would she be for my daughter!

I think in the long run it would be the best thing for this girl to face the consequences!~



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HILARY-ANT
HILARY-ANT's Photo Posts: 180
11/13/09 6:27 A

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ok a colleague of mine has a parenting dilema, and I don't know what I should say to her!!!

her daughter is 16 and very sensible, they have an exchange student staying with them for one week who is 15 but wilder than her daughter.
the exchange student has spent the week drinking vodka, kissing guys and smoking, and now it seems that she stole some clothes while on a shopping trip.

my colleague does not know if she should tell the school about this or not.

her daughter is leaving tomorrow to go stay with that girl's family for a week, and she doesn't want to create a bad feeling for her.

she told me that the family is vegan and that the girl has eaten nothing but meat all week.

I feel like the girl should be disciplined for stealing, but maybe that is the job of her parents??

if the girl gets in trouble with the school, maybe she will bully the daughter for the weeks she stays with her.

Edited by: HILARY-ANT at: 11/13/2009 (06:51)

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