Here is my take on this!
I asked if he was 'Manipulative'..Here is what you said.."hes always playing the its my dieing wish card" That is manipulation as well as emotional abuse! Does it leave you feeling 'guilty' because you don't marry him for his dying wish?
If Mom is worried about you.. perhaps you should 'trust' Mom's gut feelings about this man!
"he doesnt show public recognition he worries about what other people think alot " I think if a person loves someone.. who cares what others think!! If it is his dying wish to marry you.. then I think he would shout it to the world.. he would recognize you as 'the love of his life' !
"being stuck with debt from hospital bills " Does he have Health/Life insurance? If so..does it cover catastrophic illness??
Public displays of affection need not be 'over the top'.. Holding hands.. walking close together.. introducing you to friends immediately and being happy together.. going to favorite stores/movies/meals etc!
IF you " feel loved in private " then I feel you should be loved in public!! It is a red flag for me if someone treats me differently in public than in private! That is manipulation.. emotional abuse .. psychological abuse.. even physical abuse in the sense that he practically ignores you and fails to be close to you with his or your friends when you are together! If it is his dying wish to marry you.. then I think he would show that and share that!
I am a 'fan' of Treat Others The Way You Want To Be Treated!
Now... all that being said.. This is just my take on a 'snapshot' of the whole scene. I am NOT saying to 'Dump the guy' nor am I saying 'Marry the guy'.. IF IT WERE ME . . AND I HAVE HAD THIS HAPPEN TO ME AS A MAN BY MY EX-WIFE! ! .. I could not handle being treated in such a manner ! It's living one way by day.. another by night! (Kind of like Fiona from Shrek! )
So .. No is it NOT too much to ask for some recognition in public and NO you are NOT over reacting ! !
As God's people... We stand on our feet.. we do not grovel before anyone!
"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse."
Stephan Dolley Jr.
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