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MYAKAYAH's Photo MYAKAYAH Posts: 4,161
9/8/14 11:43 P

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My SO and his children attend services every Sunday morning. I don't attend because I am just not that keen to attend any church presently. (I used to be catholic but practise Buddhism now.) Maybe you can talk over prayer and start off small and over time with her observing you she may decide to walk beside you...

A lot of time people who attend service just come on too strong with the religion aspect it turns some off, just my opinion about it~

"If a person wants to be a part of your life, they will make an obvious effort to do so. Think twice before reserving a space in your heart for people who do not make an effort to stay."

"Your happiness is up to you. Whatever happened in your life to make you who you are up until this point is irrelevant. It is your responsibility now to take control and change your life to be what you want it to be. Energy and persistence conquer all things. Make time, not excuses."


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ROMEOTHECAT's Photo ROMEOTHECAT SparkPoints: (1,310)
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8/4/14 6:59 P

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You can't force her. My wife and I have very divergent views on religion - she's a cradle Catholic, I was raised Lutheran but by divorced parents and didn't go to church all the time. I joined the Church out of obligation but disagree with them on most issues.

She pressures me to adopt her faith a lot, but she's backed off since I pushed back. She wants someone who has a strong relationship with God. I am not that person, so she has to make compromises or leave. So far she has chosen the former.



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REGINAROLLINS SparkPoints: (16,687)
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6/25/14 11:57 A

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Don't force her to go-she will begrudge you for it-but if she went she love it and you more!!

RENNER1999 SparkPoints: (30,928)
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3/22/14 9:16 P

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I don't understand why it's such a big deal that wife chooses not to attend church services. The US constitution allows freedom of religion. It's a 2 way street-it's ok to either attend church or not attend church.

Edited by: RENNER1999 at: 3/22/2014 (21:17)
GLUECIPHER's Photo GLUECIPHER Posts: 1,329
4/3/13 8:33 A

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People should have freedom from religion. If she doesn't want to go, dont make her go.



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REDDIERAZORBACK's Photo REDDIERAZORBACK Posts: 689
4/2/13 8:51 P

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You can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink...BUT you can salt the oats to facilitate the drink. I say just live your faith. Most people want to be a part of genuine faith when they see it. If you are not living the faith and just attending church then she probably sees no need to attend. If you are living your faith and going to church, she will may want what you have, and she may not. But regardless, the challenge for you will be to to live a genuine faith without resenting her if she chooses to never follow.



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THUNDERTYLER's Photo THUNDERTYLER Posts: 208
3/28/13 10:18 A

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Try leading by example, don't hound her.
Let her see you happy, and how things are changing and getting better for you.
She may want to be a part of it, after awhile.



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MARTYJOE's Photo MARTYJOE SparkPoints: (18,252)
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3/25/13 4:00 P

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religion is a freedom of choice ...let it go

COBRACOMMANDER's Photo COBRACOMMANDER SparkPoints: (14,455)
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3/3/13 10:05 P

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I have several informed thoughts on this and I can't offer anything helpful without any context, thanks.

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson


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ROBTEACH49's Photo ROBTEACH49 Posts: 33
3/3/13 3:04 P

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My wife and I have been married 38 years and we each have a different faith. I'm Catholic she is Protestant. We each attend our own church but sometimes go to each other religious services. Some things are just worth arguing about.



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ERICWS's Photo ERICWS SparkPoints: (8,307)
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2/21/13 12:00 P

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I agree that more info is needed before any helpful answer can be offered. This is not easy.

Are you newly interested in going to church? What were both of you thinking about this issue before you got married? In my case, we went to church together regularly before we were married, and shared the same religious background.

Just wondering if something has changed in your life since you got married, that she isn't ready for yet, or if you had this issue all along.

Assuming you are newly converted to a church denomination, "born again", etc., and she isn't- just be nice to her and ask her, but don't make it an issue of "all or nothing". She'll be ready when she is ready. You can't make her do so.



BENNYTINNY's Photo BENNYTINNY Posts: 1,969
2/21/13 10:32 A

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Huck, I'm not familiar with the "love dare", but I have seen "Fireproof" and I agree with you. Benny



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PSCHIAVONE2's Photo PSCHIAVONE2 SparkPoints: (18,563)
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2/21/13 8:58 A

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If it is important to you, sit her down, hold her hand, and tell her exactly why. I have never had a problem getting my wife to do something that I thought was important. Just remember, that you may have to do something that is important to her.

Weight is the result of what you have been doing for the past week.


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HUCK132 SparkPoints: (12,724)
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2/20/13 12:57 P

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I agree with all of the other items about us needing the back story, but I do know of a book for you to try. It is called 'The Love Dare'. It is put out by B& H Publishing Group and goes along with the movie 'Fireproof'. I know a few couples that brought their spouses back from divorce and more than a few that got a spouse interested in church with it. It is tough, but even if it does not bring her into church it will strengthen your marriage, which I don't think anybody would mind.

The present is what slips by us while we're pondering the past and worrying about the future. - Ziggy


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WARMSTRONG2 SparkPoints: (160,856)
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2/20/13 5:50 A

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Maybe you should ask her why she doesn't want to go to church. Maybe there is a reason that can be addressed or it may be you should go to different churches.

Edited by: WARMSTRONG2 at: 2/20/2013 (05:51)
DOUGDC's Photo DOUGDC SparkPoints: (32,304)
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2/19/13 8:59 P

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Gravelridgeboy is asking the right question. Is church the only thing your wife does not want to share?



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GRAVELRIDGEBOY's Photo GRAVELRIDGEBOY SparkPoints: (31,081)
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2/19/13 3:13 P

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Is there a back story we should know about? Like has she ever went to church before? How long have you two been together? Is she even religious (or the same religion as you)?

I mean if you two have been together for 20 years and going to church every week it would be different advice than if you two are newly weds...



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TURTLESDOVE's Photo TURTLESDOVE Posts: 1,061
2/19/13 2:35 P

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there's an old saying that goes, "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" How true. You can't make someone do something that they do not want to do, no matter how hard you try.

BREWMASTERBILL's Photo BREWMASTERBILL SparkPoints: (31,080)
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2/19/13 12:59 P

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If you can convince your wife to do something she doesn't want to do, let me know your secret. I could use a little more work in the kitchen and the bedroom if you catch my drift.

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"In god we trust, all others bring data."

"You can't make people smarter. You can expose them to information, but your responsibility stops there." - Rip


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RIVETPA's Photo RIVETPA Posts: 1,106
2/19/13 12:50 P

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hahahahahha Hunter you're a riot!

wicked sense of humour...

XHUNTERX's Photo XHUNTERX Posts: 841
2/19/13 11:35 A

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ya, maybe you should get divorced.



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FIT_BY_30's Photo FIT_BY_30 SparkPoints: (1,570)
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2/19/13 11:22 A

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The answer is simple: You can't.

That is a personal choice for her. Maybe she has reasons for not going. Have you asked her? And for God's sake, when you ask her, LISTEN to her answer. If she tells you that she hasn't found a church she feels comfortable in, don't jump in and try to fix her problem for her. That's for her to work out.

Amanda AKA "Wonder Woman"

:)


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2/19/13 11:14 A

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How can I change her mind.

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