Hola Amigos y Amigas,
My name is Bob and I have been around this team since May of 2006 - I haven't posted at all for the past few years because I've been focused, mostly, on teams more focused on politics and on a Spark team named Sarcastics Unlimited. Y'all are are cordially invited to stop in any time your are feeling feisty.
A thread like this has come up a few times, and we had to shut them down because the team was no longer a mens team. It dropped to 40% posts by the men on Spark and 60% of the ladies.
I dropped in today because (1) I hadn't been around the team at all in a long time, (2) this is the 7th (out of 8) days of rain and I'm bored (I'm retired, so other than the online class I'm taking and the computer games I play and the books I read). There is a possibility that I just have cabin fever, or, I'm suffering from S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder).
I went back and read over the entire history of this thread and came to the conclusion this discussion will end with a consensus coming to the conclusion that men are really men and women are really alike - and that is not true at all, atol.
First, men and women can look at the same problem and will come to an entirely different way to rectify the problem. Women, who are taught inclusive logic since they were able to understand the spoken word, like to get their arms around the problem - if they can't reach around the problem, they just recruit more women - they use circular, inclusive logic so that no one (or as few as possible) get's their feelings hurt or feel as if they have been kicked out of the book.
Men are taught that, (1) You see the problem, and (2) you solve the problem. Do y'all remember about the Gordian Knot. No one solved it until Alexander the Great was confronted with this age old, and still unsolved. Like most men, he was faced with a problem and solved it in the most direct way he could. He drew his sword and sliced it apart.
It used to be, back in the Dark Ages, that at least 98% of men would have done the same. That they didn't solve the problem at all can be easily explained; they had never played outside the box. The 2% that couldn't play outside the box has now increased to about 40% - and it's rising.
I have seen the posting women have made about "Women's Rules". Many, if not the majority, of those rules are kept hidden until a guy makes a commitment (marriage). Even when a man and woman are living with each other, women's rules are exposed a little at a time so the guy can get used to having a big ring in his nose.
Today, I'm going to post "Men's Rules" and I'll re-visit to post "Women's Rules". After you have read them, I'm certain that the majority of men and women will see the philosophical difference.
Men always hear "the rules" from the female side and only after we've broken them. We don't think that's fair. Now here are the rules from the male side. We donít mind if you print them and post them somewhere, in fact, we hope you will. These are our rules! Please note ... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. Youíre a big girl. If itís up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You donít hear us bitching about you leaving it down.
1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!
1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
1. Donít cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then, we're stuck.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail and scientifically proven.
1. Flannel nightgowns are not sexy - EVER. If you're cold, move closer!
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints donít do it! Moderate hints donít do it. Obvious hints are like the rushing of the wind. If you want something special, use the joint account to get it, wrap it yourself, then give it to us to give to you.
1. We donít remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think weíd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. Thatís what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 10 days is a problem. See a doctor. Sex has been scientifically proven to heal headaches.
1. Check your oil! Please. You're also responsible for filling the gas tank and making sure the tires to YOUR car are properly inflated. We'll buy you an inflation gauge if need be.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you think youíre fat, you probably are. Donít ask us. Weíve been tricked before.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. Let us ogle, it doesn't mean we love you less. We are going to look anyway; itís genetic.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first three months we were going out (and not like our Honeymoon, either - but we can handle that). Get over it and quit whining to your girlfriends.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what a Mauve is.
1. If it itches, it'll be scratched. We do that.
1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. When we are out, weíll always ask you where YOU want to eat. It REALLY DOESNíT MATTER to us. Food is food, if we can eat it with our hands, so much the better. We are genetically incapable of telling you ďWhat sounds goodĒ. We might be able to tell you what doesnít sound good, but donít count on it.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothingís wrong. We know you are lying, but it's just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you donít want an answer to, expect an answer you donít want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
1. Donít ask us what weíre thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the infield fly rule, investments, sports or cars.
1. You have enough clothes. We have secretly marked your hangers. You have some things you havenít worn in three years Ė and some of them still have price tags!
1. You have too many shoes. See #1, above.
1. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless itís Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesnít really matter what the hell theyíre saying anyway.)
1. To one extent or another, all men are deaf. Most of the time, that includes the range in which you speak. Go ahead and make us an appointment with an Audiologist. The doctor will confirm there is a range where we can't hear. Take our word for it. If you do, we'll take the amount you saved by not insisting we go to the Audiologist and split it with you. You can spend your half on yourself and I will take it and add it to the stash I'm saving to get that new Weatherby shotgun I've been drooling over.
1. Men really do have feelings, and yes, they can be hurt. We wonít show them Ė we simply put them in the pot in our head and let them simmer, along with the rest. We understand, intellectually, that this is not the best way to maintain mental health. If you say something mean and we suddenly become totally silent, you know where weíre at and what we are doing.
1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take a quiz together. No, it doesnít matter which quiz.
1. BEER, in its many bottles and names, is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
1. Iím in shape. ROUND is a shape.
Now you know, and yes, we know not every guy will enforce every one of the "Men's Rules", but now you know what he's really thinking.
Thank you for reading this; yes, we know, we have to sleep on the couch tonight. Did you know we really donít mind that every once in a while, itís like camping. Don't assume we will stay on the couch. When you leave the room, We'll move to our recliner where we will imagine we are watching a girl's basketball game and fall asleep, quickly. However, also remember half the bed IS ours. We'll acquiesce this time - just don't push it!
Guys, if some of these rules are unfamiliar to you, you have probably already given away many of your Civil Rights. Don't think it will be easy to get them back.
Ladies, if your guy isn't already a Spark Person, don't fib and tell him that it's a girl only site. I know you will be tempted, but the ends don't justify the means. I have found there is a back door into Spark. Even though the entry code changes on a daily basis and is encrypted, I have copied the key. If you have not set your Spark page to Private and you have any unloaded photo, I can use one of those uploaded photos with Google Earth and can track you and this will be able to track your man. I WILL send him an email that allows Him to access the back door entrance, and from there to your personal file and all of the Spark emails or posts you have ever ever posted.
No, I Don't hate women. After 43 years of marriage to the same woman, being the father-in-law of two other women and knowing both of my son's MILs; the grandfather of a 16 year old teenage girl and of a three year old girl, I have been vigilant in taking notes on their behavior so that I Don't run afoul of one of Their Rules (purely for self defense). I love women. Being aware of many of their rules and navigating the many minefields they have established is just another game that is fun to Occasionally play.
Really, I Love almost all of the women I know or am acquainted with.
Don't hate me just because I have made you aware there ARE Men's Rules.