Do you have the option of taking a class in a local studio instead? As you mentioned, SOO much of the home stuff is unsafe and difficult to mount properly. A pole must be mounted securely and permanently in to the floor and ceiling to support not only one's mass, but also the additional pull created when centripetal force is in play. A lot of people simply don't have the space/desire to mount a permanent pole in their homes, which is why youtube is full of so many temporary-poles-gone-wrong vids.
Pole dancing studios are popping up all over the place, even in my small, somewhat conservative city we have one with awesome yelp ratings.
Do something everyday that your future self will thank you for.
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