Hangry. When every little thing annoys the heck out of you because you're hungry. As a huge foodie, I get hangry at least once a day even with eating solid, healthy meals.
Today, I had salmon and green beans for lunch. I heated up some oatmeal too but it tasted so gross that I threw half of it out. But while I was making my meal, I was also making my fiance's lunch too. Since his struggle is to GAIN weight, I try to make him food that can hopefully fatten him up a bit. I made him stir-fried white rice with sausage and mixed veggies, plus ketchup, mayo and soy sauce with two fried eggs on top. Kind of like an omelet stuffed full of stir-fried rice. (I know, the condiments combo sounds gross, but it's actually pretty good haha.)
It took all my willpower not to eat half of his plate before telling him lunch was ready. I sadly sat down in front of my 'healthy' meal and tried not to look at his steaming hot, colorful plate. Well the first thing he says as he sits down is, "Wow, that's a lot of rice." Not "This looks delicious" or "Thank you", but commenting again on how much he has to eat. He didn't mean it in a mean way, he was smiling and all but for some reason that comment just really ticked me off.
Here I am driving myself crazy trying to change my bad habits into healthy ones to lose weight for the wedding, and my fiance isn't doing sh*t for our big day. He doesn't eat full meals regularly unless I practically force feed him - all he likes to eat is junk food like ice cream and chips and soda. I thought that both the bride and groom-to-be were supposed to be working together to look their best for the wedding. Maybe I was mistaken.
Anyway I just snapped at him and told him off, saying that I don't get why he's not doing his part and trying to gain weight when he knows how much effort I'm putting in to lose mine. He's gotten way too skinny lately because he stopped working out altogether months ago. He's the type that naturally doesn't gain weight unless he bulks up through exercise and protein shakes. He has 2.8% body fat. (The trainer at his old gym thought there was something wrong with the InBody machine and asked him to step on it again.) Even the people at the tuxedo store AND the Korean traditional dress store we went to get fitted mentioned that he would fill out the outfits better if he gained a little more weight.
And here I am, The Fat One, working my ass off everyday to lose weight for our big day. I feel like I'm doing all the work and it's not even being appreciated or acknowledged because I "should" be doing that anyway. Am I the one overreacting? Everything else in our lives are perfect, we are a happy couple, but when it comes to eating and working out... Just the mere thought of it pisses me off. Maybe I'm the weird one.
| current weight: 139.0