So depressed

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Posts: 145
9/10/12 10:18 P

I can feel everyone's pain on this one. It is depressing and I'm right there with you. Yes, my doctor says I'm healthy, and all I want to lose is 15 lbs and get into a size 8. Trouble is, I remember when I fit into a size 2. But I have to tell myself that I'll never get back to a size 2 (too much effort and I like food too much). I have to take it one day at a time. I have to exercise and eat right. And as someone else said, this weight didn't appear overnight; it's not going to disappear overnight. I have to work at it and I am. Yes, I have my wedding dress and I can fit into it - but not comfortably (seriously, I can barely breathe in the thing). I just have to remind myself that it's going to take a lot of hard work and dedication. I'm so glad I found SP to help me with a wonderful support community.

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9/10/12 6:10 P

I feel everyone's pain on this issue. The one thing I can say that helped me loose what I have lost so far is not to look so hard at the entire amount of weight you want to loose. I remember thinking to myself that at 211 pounds that even if I worked hard and lost 10 pounds what's the point?? I will still be fat and I will still have so much more to loose. DON'T FALL INTO THIS TRAP. Instead I started celebrating every pound I lost no matter how little it was, it was something. Even if I was only 1 pound lighter. I was that girl who would make a plan to loose weight by, the summer then when I didn't follow through it would be by halloween and so on and so forth. Don't make this about loosing all the weight by the wedding, just start getting healthy and concentrating on each pound lost.You will be amazed at how quick those little pounds add up and how much less stressful it will be without all those time limits. You only get to be a bride once! Enjoy this time :)

current weight: 158.0

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8/28/12 7:36 P

I'm getting married in October of this year so I can understand the pressure to look your best but please try to focus on the reasons you are getting married in the first place - which hopefully are because you love this person with all your heart and want to be with him through thick n thin. Do your best to get healthy and feel comfortable in your skin until then but remember that he LOVES YOU - enough so that he wants to marry you. That is a beautiful thing. And so are you, regardless of size.

Edited by: GOGOGHOUL at: 8/28/2012 (19:42)

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8/28/12 11:03 A

Hey girl! I know how you feel! I have a lot more to go than you and am getting married in March, 2013. When we got engaged I felt like I had all this time to lose weight and wasn't taking it seriously. I figured it would just happen if I worked out once in awhile. Now I'm learning I really have to buckle down, eat much better and smaller portions, and do some form of exercise everyday. I know it's easier said than done, but remember your fiance loves you for the person you are. Obviously, it's important to be happy with yourself. It's going to be hard but try to LOVE yourself. You deserve it. It'll happen.

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8/24/12 12:50 A

Hi Tiffany. My name is Kim and I feel your pain babe! I'm getting married on July 20, 2013 and I get really depressed so I too know what you're going through. I want you to hang in there and stay strong. You're doing much better than I am, Tiffany I weighed in at 380lbs yesterday I lost 8lbs, and I was not happy, I felt like it should have been more. But you know what you what I decided is that I didn't gain weight overnight so I'm now going to lose it overnight. The funny thing is my Dr. told me I was healthy for a person my size. Like you my financee fell in love with me at 388lbs and says he will love me no matter what I look like, he says he didn't fall in love with my looks he fell in love with the person inside. When you wall down the aisle you're going to be so beautiful you're gonna bring tears to his love. You're going to be ok!

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8/9/12 8:05 A

hang in there...remember that it is about the MARRIAGE more than the wedding

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8/7/12 2:51 P

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Signing up as distributor ($79) saves you 20% on all future orders and they send you $50 worth of product Spark drink and Slam. It ends up saving you a good bit on 24day challenge. And worth it if stay on their products.

I lost 15lbs. In those 24 days with the plan and minor lifestyle changes. Drink water!!! Half your body weight in ounces every day at a minimum. 1 glass of water before every meal.

Posts: 8
7/30/12 5:00 P

I can definitely relate!

I am getting married in May 2013 (yes quite a ways off but still...). It is a small ceremony and relatively.. no make it exceedingly casual. But still I want to look good and be totally happy in the moment which includes every detail from my dress/outfit, limited decorations, food, etc. AND IT IS STRESSING ME OUT! @*&^#*&^*@^$ And as we all know, stress can lead to eating which is no good for someone trying to lose weight. I graduated at approx 165 pounds in 2006 and now weigh 219 pounds (after losing 21 pounds in 1.5-2 months). And I so want to look good and feel good for the honeymoon ( ;) ). So I got work to do. Just hoping stress will stay out of the way!

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7/29/12 3:52 P

I can so totally relate to these posts! Am eloping in September, and the closer the date gets, the more stressed I become. We're doing a very casual ceremony at a registry office in Europe, but I am making a huge deal out of finding the perfect dress and controlling every detail. The stress makes me want to turn to junk food for relief, which in turn makes me feel bad about myself and my size. It's so much more important to focus on the happiness of the occasion, and what the day really means, than what size I am. The tip to reduce stress really resounds for me.

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7/18/12 10:25 A

i can absolutely relate, im getting married in 2 months and am dreading my first fitting coming up in 20 days! my finace and i gained 30 pounds each in the 2 years weve been dating, hes not trying so hard to lose the weight but hes tall and it looks ok. im super short and the weight just makes me look big and round. on top of that, my best friend is getting married in 1 month and my dress for her wedding is too tight! it zips, it fits, but not comfortably! im more stressed about looking good for her wedding!! they say stress makes it hard to lose weight, but i cant stop stressing that im not going to be thin enough to fit in my dress :o( i think my personal goal, the biggest one for me is enjoying this process to getting healthier and trying not to stress so much.

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7/16/12 8:25 A

I know exactly what you're going through! My weight has been on steady uphill since i started graduate school and getting married in about a year is making me want to get back to the old, happy me. having a fiance who is supportive of me no matter what is amazing but i still feel bad about myself sometimes. i think the important thing is to remember you're taking the right steps. first of all, you sought out some motivation and support from others and shared how you were feeling. next, you're on here, wanting to make a difference!

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7/15/12 8:09 A

I am not happy about how fat I will be in my wedding pictures, but at the same time, I am marrying the man of my dreams. And when he looks at me, he doesn't see my weight, he just sees me. And for that I love him. I refuse to stress about my weight. Because there are more important things to worry about. I still am trying to lose, but I look fabulous in my dress. It seriously makes me look 20lbs lighter. There is a dress for everyone, something that will play up your features.

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7/12/12 2:43 P

Tiffany,
The fact that you are self aware proves that you CAN and WILL be a healthy bride and wife for the rest of your life! This will be such a rewarding journey for you, one that will teach you more than you realize.
My husband and I are health coaches with Take Shape for Life and would love to help you achieve those goals!
youtu.be/Z6RUD-EJ0Oc
Message me if you are interested in more information!

Sending you positive wishes~

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7/9/12 10:17 P

Hang in there ladies. You can reach your goals. Stay accountable and post your workouts daily on this thread along with your triumphs and struggles and you will reach your goals! I have a history of eating disorder myself. A great book... Overcoming Overeating by Jane Hirschmann, it is the best book that has helped me overcome my issues with food. It's an old book, but I still read it again from time to time to reset my system and reconnect with my body's natural signals of when and what to eat.

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7/2/12 2:55 P

You are not alone in this! I have gained over 40 pounds over the last 4 years- it has slowly crept up on me and now i am getting married in March 2013 8 months away - yikes! Whenever I set a goal or try to get on program - I just can't seem to make it work. I have some sort of mental block that I'm trying to get out of the way. I feel like I am hitting the "restart" button each week.

Just know that you are not alone and there are lots of us out there rooting you on and trying to get on track too!

current weight: 181.6

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6/27/12 12:39 P

I am depressed and anxious about my wedding because of my weight too. I haven't set a date yet because I know that as soon as I do, I will get myself all stressed out about losing weight/looking good in a wedding dress. My goal is to go from a size 16 to a 14 by the end of summer. As long as I can lose a dress size, I feel like I can find a pretty dress (this is my 2nd wedding so I'm not going the traditional big white dress route) to get married in.

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6/26/12 11:03 A

GIRL! I thought I was reading a post from myself that I didn't know I had written!
I am in the exact same boat. Maybe not getting married in 12 weeks... but late next year. The reason I havent set an exact date - my weight. I can't even think about a date yet. Ill feel even worse and more pressure to lost this weight.
I am just taking it one day at a time... like you should. So you'll be a little bigger in the pics of your wedding and honeymoon... but dont let that stop you from enjoying what should be the most exciting day of your life!
If you want to have kids, focus on getting healthy for them and to have a healthy pregnancy.
Good luck and congrats.

Posts: 8
6/25/12 2:27 P

Hi Tiffany!
I just read your post and I feel tons of empathy for you.
I'm 29 and planning on getting married next summer. I too suffer from depression that is heavily dependent on my weight. Although I can say I've never been up to a size 16, I have yo-yoed between 118-155 throughout my adult life. I'm not quite where I want to be for the wedding yet, but I'm at a healthy weight. However, when I get on the scale and its up even a couple pounds, I get super depressed and whine to my fiance. Although he is very sweet and supportive, I feel like it strains our relationship.
Believe it or not, I actually have a degree in nutrition and masters in medicine and currently in medical school. I've done some research, and stress actually increases your weight. It increases cortisol, which holds onto weight like its preparing for starvation! The trick is to decease stress when you gain weight (yeah right! So not easy!) Try massage or a pedicure, and increase sleep. Studies have shown people who get at least 7.5hrs/night decreased their weight even without changing diet or exercise!
I have recently seen an "integrative medicine" physician and he has changed my life with supplements for depression, PMS, and sub-clinical hypothyroid. My depression and obsession with weight have actually improved, although not even close to "cured". I highly recommend finding a good integrative medicine doc in your area and see if they have something to offer you that the standard doc does not.
Other than that, I guess stick to a lower calorie intake and some exercise you truly enjoy (not torturous exercise).
No matter what the weight, I'm sure you are absolutely beautiful, especially on the inside, and that is why your fiance loves you to death and wants to spend the rest of his life with you!:)
Feel free to write back as often as needed, I'm always good for listening.

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6/24/12 11:31 P

I just need to vent....

I'm 30 yrs old, and getting married to the love of my life in 12 weeks. When we met, I was a size 8 and very happy with my weight. I loved clothes shopping, shoes, accessories - and was so happy with getting a cute new shirt or new pair of heels....fast forward 4 years.....I'm now weighing 204 lbs and in a size 16. I am miserable. I cried today when I went shopping for a couple of tops to wear on our honeymoon...I am no longer a medium that I'd known all my life. I am a XL or 1X. My depression over my weight is a cycle - when I force myself to buy something, I come home in tears - then I just get in a funk and don't want to do anything but sulk around, or eat more to comfort myself!. I hate burdening my fiance with my sadness over my weight because he's so good to me and loves me like I am. He truly loves me now the same way I used to love myself at a size 8. I really want to lose weight - ideally 50 lbs.
Once, I had gained to about a size 12, and started feeling depressed....then somehow I lost back down to a size 8 (I didn't diet, I guess I was in college walking to class and going out so I was not tied to a desk job like I am now) and it just came off. I remember as soon as the weight was gone, I was my happy confident jolly self again - this happened a couple of times in my life but I never weighed over 160...then once I was back at about 145-150, my mood was great again! Even work collegues notice the change in my attitude. Some think I used to be so sweet, talkative and outgoing...and now I'm quiet and reserved. I'm too ashamed to admit it's because of my weight - I obsess about it and it's always on my mind. I don't hardly go anywhere but to work and home because I'm so scared to run into people who used to know the skinny me. I haven't even tried on a wedding dress and I'm getting married in 12 weeks in Maui. All I can focus on is how fat I'll be in my wedding pics. I'm so sorry to post a rant, and I admit I am fat by my own choices. I just didn't know what else to do. I'm so desperate to lose weight ... but I can't stick to a diet more than a week. I feel completely hopeless and don't know how to let it go and just be happy with my body.

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