I know of the tradition where the woman buys the man's ring and vice versa but the thing you have to remember is that when you get married its both of your money. Instead of mine versus yours it becomes ours. I could go on but basically, if he really wants that ring, which is fair since he is wearing it, then he will have to help pay for it. This should absolutely be discussed. In ten years it won't matter who paid for what, but that you're happy with what you have whether it costs $10 or $1000. (I say that and there is no way we spent a grand on wedding bands, I think my husbands cost $200 or so and was tungsten)
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ATHALEA
Posts: 4 11/19/09 3:00 P
Have you tried Bidz.com. They sell really nice jewelery for a fraction of the price and come with the authenticity cert. Just make sure you know your size :) They have some beautiful stuff also..
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TRISHBORNSZTEJN
Posts: 144 11/2/09 7:56 P
Congratulations, sounds like you got it all worked out. Talking really helps turn things around huh? Perhaps down the road, when you have an anniversary,and can better afford it, you can purchase a nicer ring. You both sound like a lovely couple and I am excited for you.
MAGDAMORALES
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Posts: 420 11/2/09 2:28 P
my husband wants a expensive ring too. i know how you feel.
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SHAZZLEMONSTER
Posts: 461 11/2/09 9:39 A
I've never heard of a brde buying the groom his wedding ring before. Generally speaking here (Ireland) the groom buys the engagement ring and then the couple buy the wedding rings together out of the wedding budget.
I must say, I really like the idea. It seems more fair and equal.
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MANDIETERRIER1
Posts: 5,084 10/27/09 6:22 P
It is good that he understands.
When you are in a better place financially, then you can buy him the best. :-)
The problem was, I didn't give him a price limit. His fancies at first were towards the $300-$400. We did have a heart to heart after I posted the first message on this subject and he totally understands! I just want to get him the best of the best because he deserves that. But I'll do that when I can afford to. For now, it's a Walmart special. :)
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D_K455
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Posts: 2,371 10/23/09 10:43 A
I am happy I don't have this problem. My finance does not want a ring at all. His job prevents him from wearing any jewellery of any kind, watches, rings, chains etc. I still want to get him a ring as a symbol and that he can wear when we go out or on holidays or days off, so it won't be an expensive one.
Good luck on your discussions with your finance.
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ASDOBBER
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Posts: 144 10/22/09 9:31 A
I totally agree with everything said here. A wedding band is not something to go into bedt over. I paig for my fiance's band but I made sure he understood what I could afford. It shouldn't be about a flashy ring, it should be about spending the rest of your life together. And you don't want to spend the rest of your life in debt.
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MICHOU83
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Posts: 453 10/20/09 9:13 A
Mandie brings up a good point. Many people mentioned that money is the #1 reason for couples to break up. Make sure to sit down with your sweetie and make sure he realizes that money, for now, is a big issue for you.
Good luck!
Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. - Baz Luhrmann
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MANDIETERRIER1
Posts: 5,084 10/19/09 5:11 P
I believe that the wedding ring is just a symbol. You could get a $50 one from Walmart and it would mean the same thing.
There is no reason to buy your groom an exorbitantly priced ring. Especially when you can't afford it.
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Posts: 453 10/19/09 12:47 P
I got engaged back in college too and we were both broke as hell. The e-ring and both wedding rings cost a grand total of 1100 dollars that we paid off over the course of 2 years. I'm really glad that we own them already (long before the wedding next year) and we were realistic about it. Just remember that in sharing your lives, your also sharing your money, living space, etc, and you need to have a talk with him. Will it be... a little embarrassing? Sure. But at the same time, if you can't talk about this, then what will one of fail to mention in the future? You don't want this to come between you two. I'm sure he loves you more than enough to be ok with a "holder ring" until you (or you both) can afford something more to his liking. I'm hoping to get a three diamond ring for my 10th wedding anniversary, but if we can't afford it then either, then oh well. :D Hope this helps!
Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. - Baz Luhrmann
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COBRACOMMANDER
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Posts: 133 10/18/09 5:25 P
Susie Orman would be flipping out on your husband-to-be for not doing his fair share of the proportional spending on this one. :)
Seriously, though, I have never heard of the bride buying the groom's wedding band. I bought my own and all of my friends bought their own.
Tell him you'll buy him a titanium one. You know, the ones that can never be resized and if he's in an accident and has to have it clipped off, can't because it's too strong so they'll have to clip off his finger instead. Tell him you'll pay for one of those. Maybe then he'll get the picture. :)
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
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MANDIETERRIER1
Posts: 5,084 10/16/09 12:13 P
You need to tell him, that you love him, but you cannot afford the type of ring he wants. And then tell him what you can afford.
You should be honest and communicate about finances. Don't let finances destroy your marriage before it has even started.
Sorry, we skipped the enagement ring and went straight to the wedding ring - $1.75 each. We were pooe and knew it ... and didn't want it to get worse.
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KATERSUE
Posts: 278 10/14/09 6:51 P
Thanks for the advice y'all. He does know how broke I am. He is wonderful - wouldn't take offense if I said something - it's just annoying to be a broke student. I just need to make sure and say something if he decides he wants one out of my range. Ehh...need to grow a pair :)
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MORGNSGRL
Posts: 298 10/14/09 6:44 P
"Honey, I love you so much and I want your wedding band to be something that you'll really like and wear forever, but I just can't afford more than $x and it's stressing me out thinking about how I'm going to pay for it. Can we figure out some kind of solution?"
If he has more money than you, I wouldn't think he'd have a problem paying the difference between what you can afford and the actual cost of whatever ring he really wants.
Good luck!!!
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ELSHAD09
Posts: 15 10/14/09 5:30 P
I agree with a previous poster, this is something to talk about. It is sooo important to discuss this openly. It is not worth going into debt over. I am a big advocate of Dave Ramsey, and he has lots of advice for couples who are getting married at daveramsey.com.
PRINCESSMANDIE
Posts: 2,528 10/14/09 12:34 P
I say if he truly loves you he will understand if you can't afford the ring he wants. Explain it to him and maybe make a deal that in a few years when you are working full time and making more money he can get the ring he wants as a gift for your anniversary or birthday or something.
Feb. 14: 150 lbs: Girls night out March 17: 145 lbs: Pair of sexy new shoes April 29: 140 lbs: Day Spa Treat June 1: 135 lbs: (Fiance said he'd quit smoking cold turkey) New bikini and a vacation!!!!
"Without forgiveness life is governed by…an endless cycle of resentment and retaliation.” ~ R.I.P Coach Thomas
No sky is too dark when your heart is light.
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2UNHEALTHY
Posts: 1,739 10/14/09 8:33 A
Does he know your financial situation? I mean if you are going to share money shouldn't you guys be on the same page now? Just a little fact for you...over half of all divorces are caused by money problems. Perhaps get your finances sorted together first and then there are no ugly surprises. If you can't afford the ring he wants tell him that. If he freaks tell him to buy it himself.
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THEABSOLUTENORM
Posts: 131 10/14/09 6:31 A
get what you can afford...my fiance and I are pragmatic when choosing our wedding bands. Yes they are white gold but totally functional friendly. We understand that we'll always be wearing them so they may get scrathed, nicked and dinged. So we opted for a modern, but simple design. And it doesn't cost so much. Her engagement ring, however, did set me back a pretty penny.
If he's not a total douche then he'll understand.
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KATERSUE
Posts: 278 10/13/09 4:29 P
I need help. My fiance and I are looking at wedding bands for him for our somewhat upcoming June wedding. The ones he is looking at are....er...a little out of my price range. He didn't give me a limit when I picked mine out (I didn't go nuts though) so I don't want to give him one, but I don't know how I'm going to pay for it. I am a college student and he is working as a computer engineer making wwwaaaaayyyyy more money than I do with my AmeriCorps VISTA gig. What do I do??? Any advice??
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