SparkPeople Sponsors help keep the site free!

Posts: 548
11/20/09 12:16 P

how did it go? Some MIL are total control freaks

Posts: 676
7/15/09 6:49 P

Stand your ground...I am so disappointed in myself for being pushed into one!

Pounds lost: 38.0

0 20.75 41.5 62.25

83

Posts: 65
7/11/09 10:49 A

I'm a young bride to be, and I DONT want a wedding shower because I feel wierd about it. Maybe it's because I dont like being the center of attention. My maid of honor keeps asking me about when I want it and where and I keep pushing it off. My fiance and I have experienced some controversy because of our engagement (my family isn't too pleased) so I feel like the shower would just be a bunch of people pretending to be happy for us.

current weight: 143.0

148 144.25 140.5 136.75

133

Posts: 676
6/17/09 10:04 A

I feel exactly the same way. And, since we've been together for a while, I feel like this is extreme "gift grabbing." Besides, right now, we don't need another toaster--we need CASH to get this wedding done. But, you can't really just say, "Fine, have a shower, but hand over the cash--I don't want your thought-filled gift." :)

Pounds lost: 38.0

0 20.75 41.5 62.25

83

Posts: 4
6/3/09 2:47 P

Maybe they could plan something that is less traditional wedding showery (where the main focus tends to be the bride opening presents) and instead have something that is just a fun event on it's own.

You can be fancy and go out to a restaurant or spa or something. Or just do something simple at home. I threw a shower for a friend of mine and we basically had a fancy tea, but me and another girl made everything ourselves. Presents were really an afterthought...everyone just enjoyed the tea and food and each others company.

Posts: 301
6/3/09 1:01 P

Thanks again for the ideas and support.

current weight: 214.2

227 211.5 196 180.5

165

Posts: 169
6/2/09 1:40 P

We have our own house and have everything we need as well. I had the same thoughts about the showers, too. Then I expressed those feelings to my family - and that changed my mind.

Now, my shower isn't focusing on getting gifts. It's just going to be a fun lunch with my girlfriends. A great time to relax, visit, and enjoy some cake!

People just want to be a part of it - especially all the ladies not IN the wedding. Coming to the shower, and for some bringing a gift, is their way of being involved. That's what led me to change my mind about it all.

It's a once in a lifetime thing. Why not enjoy all aspects of it? =)

current weight: 157.0

183 175 167 159

151

Posts: 548
5/22/09 3:48 P

My cousin was in the exact situation as you. She was older and had a home for about 14 years. He was divorced with an apartment and stuff. They opted for a shower asking for monetary donations to an abused women's shelter. They gave the shelter over 1500. To this day we all think of them as very classy and great people. I also know of a non traditional bride with all the Stuff who optedfor no shower. Both good choices for them. Bella

Posts: 301
5/22/09 3:39 P

Thanks everyone. I still feel weird about it all, but I'm going to handle it with good grace and be thankful that people want to do this for us.

current weight: 214.2

227 211.5 196 180.5

165

Posts: 73
5/22/09 3:01 P

There is no rule saying that you have to have a wedding shower if you do not want one, but you would be surprised and how nice it can be to have one. One of the ladies I have worked with has been married 3 times and is not a "spring chiken" if you know what I am saying, and she told me that she has not had such a nice set of bed sheets, or bath towels as she got with her last marriage. So even though you don't NEED anything for your home, there are still little odds and ends that you could always use around the house that I am sure people would love to get you. That is just some food for thought.
Also, when you are doing your wedding registry there are websites that allow people to pay for parts of your honeymoon (i.e. surfing lessons or scuba diving) that way they feel like they are payign for a memory).

Posts: 67
5/21/09 4:46 P

If you don't feel comfortable having a shower - don't have one. Simple as that, it is your wedding. There is nothing weird about it (personally I can tell you that the idea of a shower/ wedding reception of any sort certainly makes me want to elope, that is just me though).

There is no rule saying you have to have a wedding shower, regardless of age. Just do what makes you feel good.

On the other hand, I can tell you that I wouldn't feel any different about going to a shower for a young couple and one for an older couple, the gift issue you are worried about never would have crossed my mind.

Posts: 114
5/21/09 11:33 A

I think that it is a nice idea to have a shower just to celebrate your new life. If you feel weird about gifts let people know on the invitation that you would prefer they donate to a charity or something else. Use wording like "the greatest gift is your presence". kinda corny but it works. Congratulations on your wedding, best of luck and God bless!

Pounds lost: 2.0

0 12.25 24.5 36.75

49

Posts: 301
5/21/09 11:03 A

I'm not a young bride - my fiancé and I have lived together for three years and I have owned my own home for 15 years. This is my first (and only) wedding so my sister and aunt are insistent that they have a wedding shower for me. I'm feeling really weird about this. Showers, in my opinion, are for the young couple to help set up their new household - give them the items they need to get started with their new life. We don't need help setting up our household and I feel weird accepting gift from people for this purpose. Am I being weird? Does anyone else feel this way?

current weight: 214.2

227 211.5 196 180.5

165