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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
9/17/14 10:18 A

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Mom had forgotten than I had given her money for the casino on Monday. Harry had to help her look for it. It was right in her wallet where she had put it. It scares me that the short-term memory seems to be going so fast.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
9/16/14 6:51 A

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She was waiting for me to get there yesterday. At times, she's sharp and remembers, and other times are so fuzzy. She drew a blank when the nurse asked my name. She called me Barbara a couple times. Then she teared up and told me how glad she is that I do for her. The last couple times she wanted to make reservations for the casino, she had me do it. She has trouble seeing but doesn't want to get her eyes checked.

I noticed that she's been re-arranging things in the house again. We couldn't find the cards that I had bought for her to give Kayla, Joe and Lisa. She knew where they were supposed to be, but they weren't in there. Her stuff for the casino was not in the usual spot in her purse. That one really concerns me; she's been on top of that.

I took some time to show her some pictures and videos of Helena. She seemed to enjoy that. I am hoping to have a little bit of time to spend with her on Friday. Maybe we can organize something in the house for her and go to lunch.



God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
9/15/14 9:08 A

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Mom was glad to see me yesterday. I was a little aggravated that no one had cleaned or even vacuumed. Even though they all knew she was without power for 3 days, no one bothered to clean out the refrigerator. Mom wants to believe that the items in the freezer are okay. I think that once they unthaw, they should be cooked or thrown away. Need to investigate.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
9/14/14 8:19 A

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She seemed pretty good when I talked to her yesterday. Barb was supposed to come to take her to get her hair cut. I sure hope they didn't go to BoRics.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
9/12/14 5:01 P

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I talked to Mom while Helena was messing her pants. They talked together for awhile and both really enjoyed it.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
9/11/14 1:42 P

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Barb took mom to the credit union and got some money out this morning to go to the casino. Harry called me upset because when he went down there, they weren't there. So I know there will be fireworks.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
9/10/14 8:15 P

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Did talk to her. Will call tomorrow.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
9/9/14 12:36 P

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I called Mom yesterday while we were out on our walk. Barb, Rusty and Bonnie were over. It sounded like they were having a great time. They were reminiscing about Riviera, etc. I'm glad.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
9/8/14 11:14 A

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Sharon thinks she went to the casino yesterday. I will find out.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
9/7/14 10:17 A

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I feel bad that I didn't talk to her yesterday. I will have to today.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
9/6/14 8:00 A

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I did talk to her last night. She had a hard time hearing me; she always has her TV too loud. But she seemed to enjoy the conversation. She was saying that she knows I do a lot for her.

I talked to Kathy. She had called and went over to visit Mom. She brought her cookies and said that Mom seemed to be having a good day. She got to see Diamond and commented on how she was a good and pretty cat. She said that Mom was really enjoying her.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
9/5/14 11:55 A

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I tried to call her yesterday and got the machine. Harry said she and Barb went to the casino yesterday instead of Wednesday. He didn't know why. I will try again later.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
9/4/14 8:22 A

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I didn't get a chance to talk to her yesterday. She was supposed to go to the casino with Barb. She kept telling me to not leave her for long and I really hated leaving at all.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
9/3/14 4:52 A

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Mom was definitely not herself yesterday. She thanked God I came over yesterday. She had trouble doing simple things, like making arrangements to go to the casino today. Her side/back hurt again - the spot that always hurts when she's stressed. She crawled back into bed and fell back asleep. I suspect that depression is kicking in again. I will have to have Sharon and Harry watch when I'm gone.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
9/2/14 9:23 A

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I talked to Mom yesterday and she sounded terrible. The passing of Sis definitely got to her. She admitted that she didn't remember a whole lot over the weekend. Neither Harry nor I could talk her into not going to the funeral home.

She called me back a few hours later asking if I had the day's newspaper. She wanted to get one. She sounded better, but...

I can't see her staying in that house all winter. I started worrying about me leaving for a few days. She said she was going to feel lost without me here. She asked me to please not be gone for long.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
9/1/14 5:03 A

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Mom did call last night. She asked where her clothespins were. She then said something about how I was back from Nova Scotia. No - I leave Wednesday. I know she was cleaning out her broom closet. No clue where the clothespins could be.

Harry called after that. When I was over Friday, she got a call from Minnie that Sis Watts had passed. The visitation is tomorrow from 3-8/ The girls and mom already had plans to get mani/pedicures. Harry said that he didn't think it was a good idea for her to go to the funeral home. I agree.

Now to get it through to Barb that Mom doesn't need to go. Any other time, Barb wouldn't want to drive. But somehow she manages to take Mom places that she doesn't really need to go. Harry mentioned talking to Barb and Sandy. I will not call Barb about it. Things have been quiet between us and I'd just as soon keep it that way. For awhile there, it drove me crazy.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
8/31/14 11:56 A

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I didn't talk to her at all yesterday. On Sunday, she's been going to church and breakfast with Barb. I hope someone gives her the pills this morning. I don't feel good and don't want Mom to get it.

It seems a little strange that she hasn't called me. I was so used to her calling when she hadn't talked to me. Wondering if she remembers my number....

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
8/30/14 8:41 A

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I stopped at the store and credit union. She asked for $125.00 to start, then said $150.00 and she would give me $25 for my trip. I brought her $200.00 and she didn't offer again to give me the $25. I wasn't going to ask her.

I borrowed a suitcase from her. At first i was hesitant to ask. I don't want her to say that I have taken something from her before she's gone. I will have to remember to write it in the notebook just to have a record.

We got laughing at Diamond playing with the suitcases. I got some cute pictures. I'll have to get Tim to send them to me or show me how to do it.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
8/29/14 9:25 A

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I tried for awhile to get ahold of Mom yesterday. So did Harry. He said the house looked closed up. She finally answered after Harry went down there. She said she was busy doing chores. Which means, she was in the yard and down the basement. I am scared of her going in the basement yet. It could probably still be cleaned more and I don't want her to get C-Diff again. Not sure what's going to happen when I'm gone. Should be interesting.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
8/28/14 7:23 A

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I didn't talk to Mom at all yesterday. I really expected her to call me and say she needed more money. (I had put some in her hiding spot because I knew she would be going through her purse again. Sharon said she told her she was going to.) My attitude has been bad - I have been suspecting the worst of situations. I have a feeling that she may have had Barb take her to the credit union to get some money out. I know that I have to re-install Quicken and put her accounts in there and balance them each month.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
8/27/14 3:23 A

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Oh, the stories and comments I get! Barb told Sharon that Mom was the one who insisted on going to the casino tomorrow.

I stopped at the credit union today for Mom, picked up prescriptions, stopped at Value World and got her 2 shirts, a sweater and a sweatshirt. I did another load of clothes, cleaned the bathroom pretty good, dusted, got pills situated, went back to the pharmacy. When I got back from the pharmacy, I started to help her get her purse ready for tomorrow. In her casino purse was all her things she needed, but they weren't in the bank pouch that they were normally in. We started to look for it. Mom had to go to the bathroom. I went into the den to look in her other purse. She came out of the bathroom and asked why I was going through her stuff. That's 4 days in a row she had a comment for me where she definitely wasn't happy with me. I don't know what i am doing wrong.

I am glad that I will be getting away for awhile. I need the break. It sounds terrible. I know the past year has brought about a lot of changes in her. But the comments still sting, especially when I know that I have done nothing but try my best to make things smoother for her. How many people have a folder with information in it that is taken to the doctors? I was the one who asked all the questions at doctor appointments and when mom was in the hospital.

I do the bills, the banking, the shopping, the laundry, the cleaning, make all the appointments, etc. Barb waltzes in and does the fun stuff with mom. I'd love to be able to just sit and talk with her or take her to fun places. I know I'm getting an attitude about it. I had just started doing things I wanted to do and that has been seriously curtailed. I can't remember the last time Tim and I did something, other than the first weekend of June when we went to the game with Sherry and to the beach with Sherry and Dylan. Does that really count?

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
8/26/14 8:43 A

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Mom got a decent report from the doctor. Her weight is 168 - she says that's too much and that worries me a little. Her blood pressure is still a little high. I told her she needs to get her toy out.

Barb called her yesterday afternoon and insisted that she call and make reservations for the casino tomorrow. She was a bit aggravated that Barb wouldn't do it. It's about time she gets aggravated about that.

We were supposed to go get our nails done today. Barb told Sharon that she needed to wait a week or two. In other words, she'd rather have Mom pay for her to go to the casino than have to pay to have her nails done. Mom's starting to figure Barb out; Sharon still doesn't want to believe that Barb takes advantage of Mom.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
8/25/14 8:28 A

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When I stopped to give Mom her pills yesterday and take out her garbage, she asked me what I was getting into. Cheryl heard that one and asked me what that was about. As she was leaving for the casino, she told me that I could wash the floor while I was at it. I guess it's time to take a step back. That's 4 days in a row that she's yelled at me or been snippy with me. I know her back and leg were bothering her. And she complained again about her mouth. But I can't help but think that it has something to do with her being around Barb a lot lately. It's more of a Barb attitude than a Mom attitude. I was telling Tim that I feel that I am doing all the work and not able to really spend quality time with her. I need to step back a little a re-group.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
8/24/14 8:04 A

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I was at the grocery store getting stuff for Mom and Sherry when Mom called. She asked where the dust pan was. So I told her it was in the basement on the wall by the washer. She asked what I had bought for her. It was hard to tell her as I was in line trying to sort out her and my stuff.

When I got to Mom's, she was on the phone with Barbara. She was complaining to Barb that I had complained about how many times Mom went to the casino. I had mentioned the other day that if her leg and back still hurt really bad, that she might want to consider staying home. Mom has no clue that I heard what she said.

Mom then asked me if I could take her to the credit union. She then remembered that it wasn't opened. I started talking to her about getting her purses ready Thursday night. She got her days mixed up and said that she had gone to dinner after that. (Sharon and Barb went with her Tuesday.)

I suggested that maybe we see how much she had. I couldn't find her casino purse. She had put it in a different spot. So, we counted her money. She had more in her wallet than she did on Thursday. The other money was still the same. Thursday night, she said she didn't need any more money. Yesterday, she said she did. I pulled out the money from where she keeps it and gave it to her. She said she still needed about $50 more. So I pulled it out of my purse and asked if she needed any more. She said no...that she knew she wouldn't be spending that much.

It's like she resents me for "controlling" her money. It sounds like something Barb put in her head. I've been taking the money out of the credit union and putting it into an account that pays more interest. We talked about it and she agreed that it was a good thing to do. She says on occasion that she will have Barb take her to the credit union. That's what I am afraid of. They've done it before. What if it dawns on her the whole amount of money isn't in there and she doesn't remember that we talked? I am going to have to make plans with Sharon and Harry to meet me at the bank. I'm going to put them on the account with me...just in case.

Mom is so tired lately. I think she does need a few days to rest. Especially when she goes to the casino on Sunday after going to church and breakfast, she's tired. Then she still tries to go outside and do things in the yard. Her legs and back have hurt all week. She complained again about her mouth yesterday. She hadn't done that in awhile but doesn't want me to make a dentist appointment for her. Just like her eyes...she complained, I made an appointment, and now she doesn't want to go.

I need to sit and talk with someone. I feel like I am doing nothing right. No matter what I do, she will thank me to my face, and then complain to others.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
8/23/14 8:52 A

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I went over there yesterday and Mom was in bed. She hasn't been in bed in a long time. I gave her some Advil and started doing my usual stuff - garbage, birds, weeds, etc. I left the garage open because I went out front to water the flowers and get some bushes trimmed. I didn't want mom doing it. I came back around and the garage was closed. I had to go in the house with all the trimmings in my arms. Mom was mad at me because she thought I left everything opened and went to Harry's. I had the trimmings in my arms! It was like - okay, I'm out of here. Mom, if your hurt so much, let me take you to a clinic or think about resting more. She didn't want to hear either one of those.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
8/22/14 8:23 A

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I stopped last night after babysitting to get Mom's pills situated and to make sure she took them. She couldn't remember if she had eaten. She tried to give me the "I'll eat after I go to the bathroom" line, so I heated something up when she went to the bathroom.

When I went downstairs to get her pill container, the de-humidifyer was off again. I dumped out the water and started it again. I didn't bother telling her that I turned it on. I knew that if I did, she'd go down and shut it off. "I don't work for Edison."

The clothes that I put in the dryer Tuesday were still in there. So I folded them up and brought them up. She said that if she knew they were in there, she would have gotten them. Tuesday, she said she would get them. She didn't want me to go in the bedroom. She had her purses on the bed getting them ready for Sunday and the casino.

Mom couldn't remember how many times she's been to the casino in the last couple weeks. I got the line about how she doesn't drink, smoke, or have sex. I know she needs something to do. But what she tells me sure sounds like something Barb has told her. She went through $250.00 last Sunday and she has no clue. When I 1st got there, she asked if I had brought her money. When I told her no, she said that Barb would take her to the credit union today. After we situated her money, she said she didn't need any. ?????

Harry and I seem to be on the same page, as does Sharon. But I don't think Sharon sees things quite as clearly. She's not able to be around Mom as much.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
8/21/14 9:34 A

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Mom commented a few times in the past few weeks that she thought she needed to get her eyes checked. So, I made an appointment yesterday and called her to tell her. She said her eyes were fine and she'd rather go to the casino with the money. She asked if I wanted to go Sunday. I had to tell her no - I can't afford it and there's too many things I need to do here.

I asked Sharon if Mom complained to her about her eyes. She said that mom just complained about her legs hurting because she had been outside working in the yard. She said that Mom seemed really tired. Yeah - in 10 days, she was at the casino 4. Barb's been taking her here and there and she's worn out.

She asked me to bring her money. She said she needs to have some money in the house so she can do things like go to lunch. It crossed my mind that it sounded like something Barb had harped to her about - that Barb thinks I don't leave any money for her. Her bills are paid, she has food and cleaning supplies and health supplies that I buy with Mom's money, and mom has money there to do things.

I realize that Barb comes over and spends time with her. I know they go to the casino and out to eat. But I know that Mom pays. I would love to be able to go over there and just visit with mom. But when I go over, I'm busy cleaning and weeding and taking out the garbage and getting the mail and doing the laundry and going to the store. So, there's not much time to just sit and socialize. Mom mentioned yesterday that she'd like me to come when I can stay longer. I am just too busy right now.

Edited by: PATTYKLAVER at: 8/21/2014 (09:36)
God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
8/20/14 8:22 A

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Mom just doesn't seem to remember a whole lot lately. It's scary that she still says that she doesn't want to move into Pine Ridge.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
8/19/14 9:53 A

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I didn't talk to her yesterday - and that's unusual. The day just got away from me.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
8/18/14 8:52 A

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Mom had gone to church and to breakfast by the time I got there at noon. When we went to the casino, I was kinda trying to pay a little attention to how much she was spending. She sat at one machine for quite awhile. When I saw her and stopped to watch and talk with her, I saw her put in a $20 Canadian bill. She took out a voucher for $26.46 and showed it to me. She thought she was ahead. But, she just put $20 in. She didn't comprehend it. Come to find out, Barb had seen her win $36 on her 2nd spin and it all went back in. In 9 days, she went 4 times. She was very tired when she got home. And now I know that she has no clue how much she spent in the last week.

On Friday, she asked if I could take her to the credit union on Saturday to get out $100. I told her it was closed but I had $100 of hers. She asked again a little bit later. When I got there Saturday, I helped her get her money organized. She had over $300 in Canadian money. There was $75 in her wallet. I left $140 in her spot that she keeps it. I took $150 back home. She has no clue how much she had and that I took money back. It really worries me.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
8/17/14 10:00 A

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I can tell it's been a long week for Mom. The memory isn't there. Between going to the casino and the basement flooding, she's a bit stressed. Gotta get her on a routine again.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
8/16/14 11:19 A

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Mom apologized for not taking me to the casino on Thursday. I told her I didn't want her to pay my way, that I just wanted to go. So, she decided to take me and Barb on Sunday. She went to go make the reservations and she couldn't find her purse. She called all panicked just as I pulled up. I though..oh, no...it could be anywhere. Somehow the garbage can that I threw out was back in the basement. I looked in the garage, in the basement...she relaxed and found it on the chair in the bedroom behind a blanket.

Later on, Harry called me. He went down to give her the night pills and she wasn't there. No note... We waited about a half hour and here came Mom and Barb. They went to church and out to eat. "I guess I forgot to leave a note."

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
8/15/14 5:57 A

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When I got there Wednesday, Mom was bringing in a box for the garage that I didn't have the energy to break down. I told her that it had been wet with sewer water. She said the cat liked to play in it. Sometimes I don't know if she remembers Diamond's name.

She then asked me whose stuff was out at the curb and how come there was so much garbage in the garage. When we were cleaning the basement, she seemed okay. She didn't go down there, so she didn't see how dirty it was or what we had to throw out. I guess it hit her after we left.

I came over yesterday to go to the casino with her and Barb. (Granted, they had gone Friday and Sunday...) She pretty much told me that the bus was full and that I needed to stay home. Then she thought I was going to stay and watch the cat. The more I thought about it, the more it hurt my feelings. I did go to the store for her and clean a little more. I'm not sure how much Barb did the day before. I suspect that she made quite a few comments. That's the only reason that I can think of that Mom was in the mood she was in.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
8/13/14 10:24 A

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It was a long afternoon! So much to clean! So much to throw out! Gary and Steve got the carpet up. Sharon came after work to continue wiping the floor. There's still stuff to clean. But tomorrow's another day...says Scarlett.

Mom had forgotten that she didn't have coffee. I keep reminding her to write things down as she sees that she need them. I can't get her in the habit. There were quite a few things that I had to pitch under the cupboard. She didn't close the containers well and they were either stale or hard as rocks. So...tomorrow is grocery shopping day, too.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
8/12/14 9:02 A

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Mom's enjoying Diamond and I'm glad. Her basement flooded last night. I am so afraid that she will go down and try to clean, so I will be heading over ASAP. I don't need for her to get sick again.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
8/11/14 7:54 A

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When I got to Mom's, she was coming out the door. She asked if I had any money on me - mine or hers. She wanted me to go back to my house to get some so her and Barb could go to the casino. I knew I wouldn't have enough time to do it. I asked how much she had. She looked and said she had enough for her and Barb.

I got thinking about it. Barb had enough time to go home and get her own money. I wonder if she will bring the money back to Mom. Then, I realized they never asked if I would want to go. I didn't have the money. It was just the point.

I had put the litter box and the food for Diamond on the main floor so mom wouldn't have to go up and down the stairs. Barb decided that Mom didn't want to smell the littler box, so she moved everything downstairs. After they left, I did bring the food back up. I don't want mom falling down the stairs.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
8/10/14 5:47 P

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I got my mom a 3-year-old fixed, declawed cat named Diamond. She slept with her last night.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
8/9/14 9:41 A

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Mom used to remind me to bring my card - the last two times I forgot it. She went to look for hers and couldn't remember exactly where she put it. Barb ended up taking two from her purse and told us that mom couldn't find it - she couldn't remember where she put it. Barb is getting a LITTLE better, but she really has no idea how to talk/react to mom. She gets aggravated when mom can't remember and says inappropriate things. I find that we do better when we walk through things together. Okay...let's look, etc.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
8/8/14 8:40 A

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Mom did call me to remind me that we're going to the casino. I am glad she's looking forward to things. I do wish that she had more to look forward to.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
8/7/14 6:13 A

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I tried a couple times to get ahold of her yesterday. The line was busy.

Sharon said that they talked a bit Tuesday night. Mom really doesn't want to move now. And Sharon's talking about getting a cat for her. I am afraid of what the winter will be like, especially if Sherry does come back. Sharon and Gary aren't around most of the winter. Barb won't drive when the word snow is mentioned. Harry and Cheryl are good about getting her a couple things from the store if she needs it and they make sure she eats. But none of them clean. And I don't always have the time to clean the way that it needs to be cleaned.

I guess I need to take the time to go over and clean really good before the fall.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
8/6/14 8:52 A

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Mom's short term memory problem is hard to watch sometimes. She gets so aggravated when she knows she should remember.

I worked on her hair yesterday. If I keep on it, it should look better soon.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
8/5/14 7:18 A

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Mom called and said that she knew someone was going to pick her up to take her to get her blood work and she didn't remember who. When I got there, she said to get the blood work first and then go to the credit union. Of, course, we both forgot that the Credit union closed for lunch.

On Sunday, we looked for her extra checks. Couldn't find them. And we both knew that they were always kept in the bottom drawer of the dresser. Yesterday, Mom said that she knew where they were, opened the drawer, and sure enough - they were there. Strange.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
8/4/14 9:59 A

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Today, I take Mom to get her blood work. I need to start paying more attention to her in addition to spending more time on her house.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
8/3/14 8:37 P

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Today was Brooke's graduation party. Mom seemed to really enjoy herself. She was, in fact, still there when I left.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
8/2/14 8:06 A

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Barb had promised her that she'd come over and they'd get their hair cuts together. She waited and waited. Barb called and the first thing she says is "Did you take Mom to the credit union?" She then talked to mom. Mom asked her straight out why she got her hair cut and didn't come and pick mom up to go too after she said she would. She told Barb to come get her because she promised she would. A couple minutes later, Barb called back and said she couldn't come because it was raining cats and dogs.

So...off we went to Eastgate and it started to sprinkle as we were driving. I commented that "so this is what it's like when it's raining cats and dogs". Mom couldn't help but laugh. I only got the chance to clean the kitchen a little and the bath and do one load of clothes, but at least Mom got her hair cut, some bird food and some groceries.



God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
8/1/14 9:14 A

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She went to the casino again yesterday. I stopped to give her the morning pills. I asked if she needed money. She said no. It makes me wonder if she is having Barb take her to the credit union.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
7/31/14 7:39 A

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I talked with her for a minute last night. I was tired and aggravated with myself, but she thought I was depressed.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
7/30/14 9:50 A

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Mom, Barb, Sharon, Cheryl, Shannon and I went to dinner then back to Sharon's to celebrate Sharon's birthday last night. We had a good time. I just wish I had brought the camcorder.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
7/29/14 9:09 A

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We tried a couple times to talk but Mom kept getting company.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
7/28/14 10:31 A

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I only saw Mom for a couple minutes. She went to church and lunch with Barb, came home to get her money and then went to the casino.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
7/27/14 4:27 P

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Mom called a couple times yesterday to say she needed money. The first time she left a message. I talked to her the second time. She said that she needed money in case her and Barb wanted to go to dinner. (So that answered my question as to why she was asking about money!) I mentioned that I knew she had money in her wallet - she knew exactly how much she had there. She was a little confused as to when she'd get her SS check. She really didn't realize how much she had gone through this month. She mentioned paying the lawn cutting and lawn fertilizing guys. I will have to check with her more because I know I sent them checks.

I got there today with some money and she wasn't there. Her morning pills were sitting on the table with a note to take them. But she always tells us that she can take them on her own. Soon, she and Barb turned up. Barb quickly went to smoke something while Mom got her money together. It was good to know that she only took half of what she asked me for.

Barb complained about the siding that came off the house. She kept asking if someone was going to call the insurance company. She didn't understand that estimates have to be gotten, It depends on how much it costs whether or not a claim should be filed. So she wants me or Kayla to call and get estimates. We're not doing anything,...

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
7/26/14 4:03 A

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Mom knew that I was coming to take her to get her blood drawn, but couldn't remember if someone called her about it or not. She wanted to go to lunch but didn't remember the name of the restaurant.

When we got back to the house, I tried to spend time with her talking and going through pictures. She was intent on calling Kathy and making arrangements to go to the casino.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
7/25/14 8:32 A

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I haven't felt like I have spent much time with Mom lately and she seems disappointed when I can't stay longer.

Harry called me about 6 last night wondering where Mom was. Sometimes I know, sometimes I don't. I knew she had spent time with Sharon on Tuesday and went to the casino with Barb on Wednesday. He worried that he had to go to bed before he could give Mom her pills. He called right back saying that when he called her, she went to the door. ???

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
7/24/14 7:46 A

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Mom went to the casino with Barb again yesterday. I found out that they had tried the day before but couldn't get on the bus. Sharon has been taking Mom out more. All good. I had been doing so much for so long that it seems strange. I had such grand intentions of spending more time with her and just haven't done it yet.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
7/23/14 9:22 A

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She was out and about yesterday and will go to the casino today. emoticon

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
7/22/14 7:14 A

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I had stopped at the Dollar Tree yesterday and walked into some really colorful 4 x 6 frames. I bought 4. I put to two poses of Helena in them and gave two to Mom. She loved them! I knew this baby would keep her going for awhile and am so glad she did. I am so glad I got the camcorder. It did me so good to get on it mom meeting Helena and laughing and laughing. I don't remember hearing her laugh so much. And I will have it forever to look at it when I can.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
7/21/14 8:53 P

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Sherry said that she thought Mom was doing better. I stopped by with milk after babysitting and she said she had trouble with the TV. I plugged it in and got it on. Not sure what she did.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
7/20/14 1:03 P

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I stopped by for a minute about 7:30 last night. It took her forever to get to the door. Harry and I always tell her to not lock the screen, but she does anyway. She has been having bowel movements a lot. I made her let me look at it one day. It wasn't diarrhea or soft, but I am still concerned.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
7/19/14 8:23 A

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At least with the girls gone, I will be able to spend more time with Mom.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
7/18/14 4:21 P

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She's been doing pretty good. Keep my fingers crossed.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
7/17/14 8:03 A

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Mom told Sherry that she hasn't seen too much of me lately when she was over there yesterday. I know that when Sherry leaves, I will be spending more time over there.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
7/16/14 10:26 A

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I will be going over this morning and Sherry and Helena will be meeting us there after the doctor appointment. So...she will have a good afternoon.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
7/15/14 10:52 A

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Mom was good yesterday, although she said her nose was a little runny. As I was leaving, I mentioned that I should make an appointment to get our nails done. She said that she has an appointment today with Barb and Sharon. I am glad that she is getting out of the house.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
7/14/14 9:32 A

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Mom called last night and left me the sweetest message. She said that she is here to help me. I saved it just to have it. I will check on her again today and see if her spirits are any better.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
7/13/14 3:52 P

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Mom called this morning wanting to know if I wanted to go to the casino. She was really disappointed when I told her I couldn't. She commented about people taking things without her consideration. She said that she just sits and doesn't do anything but wait for someone to walk by to talk to. I felt so bad. I did tell her that when Sherry leaves I will spend more time with her, but I just can't right now. I have to be with the baby - I don't know when I will see her again.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
7/12/14 10:17 A

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Mom called me about 10 last night. We talked and she didn't remember going to the casino with Barb on Wednesday. She asked for her checkbook for the 2nd time in a week. We had talked the last time and we agreed that it was easier for me to keep it to pay bills and for her to use her charge cards. She had forgotten that, too. She said she wanted it back in case she wanted to go shopping. The only way she would go shopping is for someone to take her. I still suspect that Barb had been saying something to her about it. Harry and I talked about it a little yesterday. We both have a gut feeling that Barb is making sure she gets her "inheritance".


God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
7/11/14 7:27 P

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I had talked to Mom yesterday about coming over today with the baby. When I tried to call her, I didn't get an answer. Barb had taken her to the casino again. Barb had commented on me buying the car because it was that much less for her inheritance. Harry and I suspect that Barb is taking mom just to get her "inheritance."

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
7/10/14 8:52 A

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I called about noon and Mom said that she and Barb were going to try to go to the casino. Again, Barb did not inform anyone. She didn't worry about the medicine. I am glad that she is doing things with Mom. Mom needs to get out of the house and do things. But sometimes I still can't help but wonder what the ulterior motive is.

Mom was excited about going. I asked if she had taken her pills. She couldn't remember. I've shown her how to read the log many times. She couldn't remember. But at least she was going back and reading things. So she at least knows where she can find some information.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
7/9/14 12:58 A

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When I talked to her, she told me that Sandy brought her food and so did Betty. She sounded tired. Her mouth is still sore. I wonder if that's where I caught this.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
7/8/14 8:25 A

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She was outside waiting when I got there for her doctor appointment. But I don't think she ate much all day. Her memory of what she does and eats is declining again.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
7/7/14 10:42 A

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Mom called last night to double check on the doctor appointment. So...right now I have to treat Saturday night as a one time thing. It still has me stressed.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
7/6/14 12:53 P

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We were going to bring the baby over today. Mom had diarrhea last night a few times. She said she had coffee and toast and hasn't had it today. I'm still frantic and upset. Sherry is afraid she will never see the baby. Please....

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
7/5/14 9:19 A

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I went to Mom's early because she said that she and Barb were going to the casino. I wanted to make sure that she got her medicine. Cheryl had the same thought. Barb decided that she had laundry to do, so she was coming over to hang out the laundry.

Later in the afternoon, Mom called and left a message that she was mad. She didn't want me taking things without letting her know. And what happened to the things that were in the green garbage can in the fruit cellar and the things that were in the dresser behind the furnace? Mom doesn't go downstairs.

I called her back. I ask if she remembered when Cheryl put up the curtains in the kitchen. She didn't remember that and the 3 of us going through the container and putting the curtains upstairs in a drawer with all the other curtains. She didn't remember me going through her clothes and taking out and putting things in the dresser. She didn't remember agreeing to let me buy it so Sherry could have a dresser for the baby.

I was washing the rags when I did laundry and putting them on the stairs with the others and the Pledge. When I went over the other day, I noticed that there weren't very many. I just figured Mom had moved them to wherever she wanted them. She though I threw them away.

Later on, I called Mom back. I thought about the rags and wondered if I had put some under the sink in the bathroom. She said "Oh don't worry about it. You know how your sister is. I don't like sibling rivalry." It's not about sibling rivalry. Barb goes over and goes through stuff and questions mom on where things went and tells her that I shouldn't be taking things. Then Mom gets upset and questions herself.

I ask Mom if I have ever taken something or thrown it away without talking to her. She says no. But Barb just loves to stir the pot. It's vindictive, unfair, and unnecessary.


God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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7/4/14 10:04 A

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I was over there for about an hour yesterday and she seemed fine. She remembered that Kayla came over and gave her the pills. After I left, she called me. She thought that they had made plans to go to the casino and that they forgot to get her. She was aggravated. I talked to her later and she said that her and Barb were going today. I am headed over there soon to make sure she has her medicine and breakfast.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
7/3/14 8:04 A

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She's been in good spirits lately and doing things. I think her eating may be off a little. Sometimes, when I clean the bathroom, I wonder if she sometimes has loose bowels. She always insists she doesn't if I ask. I know she doesn't want to go back to the hospital.

The quick loss of her short-term memory still rattles me. She doesn't realize it, of course. But everyone else does.

I must take time to go and start getting her final wishes ready. I want to get things paid for and lined up. I don't want to have to do all that when absolutely necessary. Especially the way the family has been lately, I just don't want the added burden.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
7/2/14 8:56 A

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I saw Mom for maybe 5 minutes on my way to the hospital. Betty and Paul pulled up the same time I did and surprised her. Then it was Sharon's turn to question where she was. So...who do they ask? Me! I would love to have it where we are all on the same page, and where we all pull together. The notebook was a way that I thought it could happen. Although it has improved things, there is quite a bit of room for improvement. A weekly update phone call to everyone might be in order.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 118,953
7/1/14 8:53 A

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When I got to Mom's yesterday, there were pills through Thursday. She hadn't taken the morning pills. She wasn't home. I called Harry and asked about the pills and where she was. He said there was a note from Cheryl that said that Sandy would give her the pills and he didn't know where Mom was. He then called Sandy to find out that Sandy would come over on Wednesday and that Barb took Mom to the casino.

So...Harry was mad that Barb took Mom out without letting anyone know but Sandy. Sandy was mad because Mom didn't get the pills. Harry left a nasty note for Barb that I promptly threw out. Sandy wants to hire someone to give Mom her pills. It's no big deal for Barb to take Mom somewhere. I'm glad she does. But that's two days almost in a row that they went out and some of us didn't know. I got to hear all about it both days. Sandy wants to hire someone to give Mom her pills. We would have to pay for two hours to have someone do that.

It would be nice if Barb would give her the pills. It would be nice if someone at Harry's house would come down and give Mom her pills in the morning. There's three of them. Pick one. Life would be so much easier if Harry, Barb, Sandy and Shannon would communicate instead of just getting mad at each other.

I will be over this morning to give Mom her pills. I will continue to go in the morning and do so. I left a note in the notebook. Suggestion: if someone takes Mom out (whether planned or unplanned) it would be a good idea to write it down in the notebook. I can't count on anyone to give her the morning pills. So I will do it.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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