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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
11/26/14 11:44 A

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Mom called as I was headed to the bank. The lab called reminding her that she was over due for her blood work. She should have gone a couple weeks ago. With me being sick and then the cold weather, we hadn't gone. Her cumidin level was off the last 2 times (1.6 & 1.62 instead of 2).

Mom seemed agitated about not having gone. I told her that I was headed over there right after the bank and I could take her. She was somewhat ready when I got there. Then she had to go to the bathroom twice. Then she wasn't sure where her purse was (on the counter - she didn't remember that she put it there). I asked where her coat was and she got it right away. She did remember that she always takes candy with her to give to the girls.

Sandy and I had talked about Mom's memory. When I am over there on an almost daily basis and walk through things with her, she's pretty good. She's been good about her medicine lately. But I don't think she's eating as well as she should be. I am going to have to work on that.


God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
11/25/14 10:00 A

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Mom went out and got her garbage and recycle bins herself yesterday. She keeps trying to do things that she knows she really shouldn't be doing. Last week, she had the broom out to get up the snow.

She mentioned something the other day about something in the kitchen not working at first but then she got it working. I talked to Harry yesterday and he told me that she had unplugged the stove.

She had trouble the week before with her TV. Before that was the phone. Before that was the washer. It hit me last night that it's happening more frequently. Must have family talk.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
11/24/14 8:23 A

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Mom was really cold yesterday, but seemed good. She asked if I invited Barb to Thanksgiving dinner.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
11/23/14 4:04 P

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She went to church with Barb yesterday. And, of course, they went to dinner and shopping. She was tired today.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
11/22/14 7:33 P

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Have not talked to her today.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
11/21/14 9:18 A

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I talked to Mom yesterday morning. She said that they cancelled going to the casino. I kind of figured that - Barb won't drive if the weather isn't perfect and it's not daylight. I didn't talk to her after that. I think I will try to plan to go with her within the next couple weeks.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
11/20/14 10:08 A

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I didn't get over there yesterday. It was a snowy, blowing, bitter day. She started off okay but called me a lot during the day questioning things. I really need to get over there every day that I can.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
11/19/14 10:21 A

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Harry called while I was babysitting. He couldn't get Mom to answer the door or the phone. He calls me....I told him to knock on the bedroom window. Mom sleeps pretty soundly in the morning.

She wanted me to bring money over for the casino. She didn't want me to help her get her purse ready. She just said to put the money in the container. She already had $320 in there. So I just added $80.

Barb took Mom to Kmart twice last month to shop and they spend $150. Mom couldn't remember what on.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
11/18/14 8:23 A

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I was at Mom's for a little bit. I had to stop at Kroger to get a couple things and automatically got a few things that I knew she needed. It boggles me that no one else automatically notices that she needs something or something needs to be done. Harry will ask if she needs something if he's headed to the store. Sharon will ask if there's anything she can do. But many times, Mom doesn't remember or notice that things need to be cleaned.

Two parents - four children - we were raised the same general way. Granted, we are different, so that has to be accounted for. But it's still the same parents, the same household, the same basic ways of raising us. The dynamics are different because of the fact that there are 5 years between us. Most families have children within 3 years of each other.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
11/17/14 12:55 A

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She's still mixing up where to put the garbage, but it is confusing. She's really having problems with incontinence. She's in the bathroom constantly. Many times she doesn't quite make it. She goes through a lot of underwear. If it's not too bad, I will hear her in there with the blow dryer. I asked why she just doesn't change and she said that sometimes it's not but a little. I need to make an appointment with the doctor.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
11/16/14 1:56 P

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I talked to Mom yesterday and this morning, but haven't gone over yet. I don't want to run into anyone.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
11/15/14 9:07 A

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I got Mom a couple blue rugs and she was happy with them. We had a good afternoon.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
11/14/14 10:02 A

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Heading over after my therapist appointment. Didn't talk to her yesterday.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
11/13/14 3:07 P

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Mom was definitely having trouble with money yesterday. It scares me a bit when she's out with Barb spending money. Barb, I believe, has what's called "wet brain" and doesn't have a clear concept on things.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
11/12/14 11:24 A

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I made it over yesterday. Mom looked like she was down. I don't think she took her morning meds so I gave them to her at 3 pm. Gotta get in the habit of getting there earlier. I don't know if she had eaten, either. I just have to work on a schedule.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
11/11/14 9:31 A

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On Saturday, I had reminded my Mom that I had her Kmart gift card. I told her we would go and get her a comforter. I pulled into the Kmart on 13/Schoenherr that's going out of business yesterday as I was talking to Sharon. Barb took Mom to Big Lots Saturday and got one.

I looked for rugs for her but couldn't find any. I went over for a minute to get her pills organized. No one had gotten the clothes out of the dryer from 4 days ago. There was garbage in the recycle bin. The kitty litter needed changing badly. I had to give Diamond food and water.

Mom got a light blue bedspread - one that I wouldn't have purchased but she likes it. I picked up the edge to show Mom that I had put 2 blankets on the bed to find that she still had the old bedspread on the bed and the sheet was on top on the blankets and spread. I did notice again yesterday that Mom was rinsing the dishes but not using dish liquid. I asked her about it a couple times, and she says she does use it. But...

And the others wonder why I clean when I go over there. I found out that my nail has a bacterial infection in it and I tend to think I picked it up at Mom's. I just don't want to have a long winter like last winter. Already, I've been sick twice since the end of August. And I know how frail Mom has gotten just since a year ago.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
11/10/14 9:43 A

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I talked to Mom for a minute yesterday. She didn't remember that I was sick. But she did have Sandy, Dylan, Danielle, Vincent and Joey over so her mind was on that.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
11/9/14 10:54 A

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I can tell that I haven't been to Mom's in a couple days. She seemed a bit confused yesterday. I am not sure if I should go today - I don't want her sick.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
11/8/14 10:45 A

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I talked to Mom twice last night. She had been upstairs looking for window decorations. She was in the closet and I know the ones she wants are in the attic space by the dressers. When I feel better, I will have to go over.

The bedroom TV isn't working and the lights in the den wouldn't go out for her. Not sure if it's just something silly or if there's something wrong.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
11/7/14 10:07 A

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I haven't talked to her. She was at the casino yesterday. I don't want to go over today because I don't feel good.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
11/6/14 9:25 A

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I was trying to get out the door to get to Harry's yesterday. I was supposed to be there at 10 and it was 20 after. Mom called and said Lakefront Lines called her and there was a problem with the card. She said to call right away. So I stopped at Ace and got bird seed and at Family Dollar to get her some pads and headed there. In the meantime, she called Sharon saying the same thing. I called and what happened was that Mom called them and couldn't read the numbers. Sharon called after I did this and said she talked to them and Mom had reservations. Mom knows I don't feel comfortable making reservations for Barb all the time, so she did try herself. But then she gets anxious and frustrated.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
11/5/14 4:38 A

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When I got there yesterday, Sharon was there. She hadn't taken her pills or eaten and was outside raking leaves.

Sharon and Lisa will be gone for a few weeks. It will be difficult. With Sharon retired now, I really appreciate her help.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
11/4/14 8:29 A

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I didn't get to stay over there long; I had a doctor appointment. She was quiet - at first I thought no one was there. She was sitting in the den with no tv on or anything. She is wanting to go to the casino again but I don't think Barb got back with her.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
11/3/14 9:05 A

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I wonder what the winter will bring with us. Mom wants to go shopping and get a new bedspread. She gave one to Barb because Barb said she needed one. She talked about going to the casino on Wednesday and making the reservations herself. Will see what happens on that one.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
11/2/14 5:15 P

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I stopped by yesterday and she slept most of the time I was there. She's sleeping a lot again in the afternoon. It seems harder and harder for her to move.

I stopped by today. She had taken the garage door opener out into the garage and shut it in there. At least today she was up and moving. The Halloween stuff was out of the front window, I put the stuff in the tote for her and took it upstairs. I had put a ceramic piece of three pumpkins in her bedroom that I'm not sure where she put it.

I went to get a garbage bag out of the broom closet and had to look for the box of garbage bags that I put in there yesterday. I finally found it in one of the bags.

Then Mom said she wasn't sure where her casino purse was. I went in the bedroom and it was right under the bed. We counted the money and she told me that she had plenty. As I was leaving, she opened the door and asked if I could get $300 out of the credit union for her.

Lots of ups and downs.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
11/1/14 9:34 A

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I need to get over there today. Sharon found out how time-consuming things are when we're over there yesterday. I don't want to go tomorrow. I just don't want to run into Barb.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
10/31/14 6:04 P

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I am so glad that Sharon is back in town. I had to babysit today from 7-4 and didn't get a chance to get over Mom's. She made chili with her and put up her green kitchen curtains. Mom sounded good when I talked to her.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
10/30/14 10:34 A

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Mom wanted to make chili yesterday but couldn't remember the recipe. I pulled down the box of cookbooks for us to look through. She started going through them. After awhile, she would forget what recipe she was looking for.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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FATCAT216's Photo FATCAT216 SparkPoints: (6,254)
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10/29/14 7:11 A

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Sometimes we just feel like banging our head against the wall don't we. Deep breath and walk away.



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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
10/29/14 6:03 A

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When I got to Mom's at 5 after working, she hadn't taken her morning pills. She told Harry she had. Harry and I both noticed that she often says that she doesn't need to take that many pills and wants to pick and choose. Mom was thinking it was still morning and didn't believe me when I told her what time it was.

Sharon stopped by and we were sitting there talking. She asked how many times during October that Mom went to the casino. I started looking at the calendar and saying when she went. Mom got mad at me. She said she didn't do anything else - why not go to the casino? She said that she won't go any more - she'll just give us the money.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
10/28/14 8:22 A

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Mom slept until almost noon. Harry tried to call her a few times and finally sent Kayla down to check on her. I got there a little after 4 and she seemed pretty good. I think she was just getting around to eating, though. I did her hair and nails and we looked a little at Helena's pictures. She still said her knee hurt, but I don't think it was as bad.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
10/27/14 8:11 A

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Mom definitely over-did it the end of the week: casino on Thursday, shopping on Friday, and up and down the stairs and outside on Saturday. When I got there yesterday, she was in the bathroom talking to herself. At first, my thoughts always go to C-Diff. It was the right knee. She pulled up her pants and it was swollen. I gave her some aspirins, put her to bed with a heating pad and made some warm milk. Hoping it's better today.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
10/26/14 2:18 P

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I talked to Mom this morning and she was still in bed and hurting. She's thinking she went shopping yesterday. I will go a little later and check on her.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
10/25/14 7:56 P

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Mom over-did it today and was hurting when I got there. I gave her an aspirin and am hoping she's feeling better tomorrow.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
10/24/14 9:07 A

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Don't know how she did yesterday, but I didn't get any phone calls so I am assuming she went to the casino. Harry is in the hospital with diverticulitis. He was tested for C-Diff and it came back okay. But I know the test is at best 60% effective. So...I get to clean Mom's house well today.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
10/23/14 7:52 A

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I had thought she had done rather well with Barb and me arguing on Friday. I got a phone call yesterday asking what was going on. When I stopped after babysitting, she seemed better. That's what bothers me the most when Barb pulls this: it makes mom worse. It's sad that Barb doesn't stick around to see it and that she refuses to believe that any thing she does is wrong.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
10/22/14 8:08 A

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When I was over on Monday, I was taking the garbage out just before I was getting ready to leave. I grabbed the table that was on the patio and took it to the garage. I had already brought in the rest of the tomatoes. The temperature at night has been going down to 32. I didn't want them to freeze. I was going to tell Mom I did that. She asked if I could go in the front yard and grab some mums for her table. When I brought them in the house, Harry came over and he was in one of his "woes is me" moods. I forgot.

I got a phone call yesterday. Someone stole her table and she wrote a note and put it on the fence! No, Mom...with Harry coming over I forgot. She did laugh about it.

Later on, she called me a little confused. AAA sent a letter to her at Harry's address. The way it was written, she was a policyholder and they wanted to let her know she could spend $352 and get another roadside card. No, Mom! It's an advertisement. They are looking for people TO spend the money for a card that they'd hardly use.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
10/21/14 10:18 A

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Mom was a little off still yesterday. She asked me to make casino reservations for Thursday. She knew I didn't want to, but asked me to please do her a favor.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
10/20/14 8:53 A

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Will see how Mom is doing this morning. It usually takes about a week for her to settle down. I will still keep working on getting the i's dotted and the t's crossed so things won't have to be done at the last minute.



God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
10/19/14 2:32 P

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Mom called Sandy this morning to say she couldn't get ahold of Barb. Sandy talked to Barb and then called me. Barb stated that if I did not bring a key to Mom's house over to her today that she would not only make a police report but she would not go to Mom's until she had one.

She got the key, BUT the rest of the family is clearly not on her side. And she will never realize what went wrong. So sorry.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
10/18/14 12:33 P

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As much as Mom tried to not let Barb bother her, she did. She's laying in bed and didn't sleep good last night. All Barb had to say was that she didn't want to clean Sam's house. Mom went with me and had a hard time cleaning the stove.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
10/17/14 5:20 A

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Mom had laid in bed long again yesterday morning. The outfits she wears are mismatched and she wears them for awhile. I've gotten in the habit of going through collecting clothes and throwing them down the chute. Someone did a load of laundry the other day and I'm not sure who. Mom said she did, but...the last time I went over there she was trying to do a load and said she couldn't get the clothes clean. She always tells me to use liquid fabric softener. I was cleaning up a little bit and picking up dryer sheets. I commented about that there sure was a lot and I didn't know where they were coming from. She said she uses them.

I asked her what she had for breakfast. She told me toast. She told Sharon bacon. Then she told us she had a bagel. I don't think she ate. Sharon sent me a text and told me that she suspects that Mom lost a bit of money when they went to the casino.

I thought about asking Sharon and Harry if they would mind if I would get paid to go over a few hours a day and do things with her. Sharon and Harry have both been leaving pills out for her. She was good Wednesday, but...the pills were also out of order in the container.

Sometimes I just want to pick up and move back to Alabama. But what to do with Mom?

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
10/16/14 9:14 A

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I ran by yesterday and the pills were confusing. There weren't any for yesterday morning and the night time had some for Monday and Tuesday. I filled it up and got out some morning pills. Thank goodness Sharon got there. She said she had left the morning ones out. Mom must have taken them. But she never remembers or writes it down. Wishing Sharon and Harry wouldn't do that. Whenever there is a problem, I get a phone call.

Mom couldn't remember what she ate for breakfast but said she did eat something. It was either toast, a bagel, or bacon.

Money is a problem. She moves it around and puts it in places, then forgets that she has it.
I've considered asking if I could maybe get paid to come clean and give her the pills every day. That way there is no confusion...maybe.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
10/15/14 9:21 A

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I talked to Mom for a minute yesterday. She asked if I was coming over. She's so used to me coming every day, that when I don't, it throws her off. One more thing to think about when considering this babysitting position.

Harry had just come in and she kinda gave me the bum's rush. The day before, she was telling me that the phone in the den didn't work. When I picked it up, it was working. I noticed yesterday that my power had gone off when I was babysitting. Wondering if that was the time that DTE Energy was switching the meters.

It does seem that Mom is starting to really forget simple things: reading, making phone calls, using the washer. She still thinks she keeps up the house okay. I don't think she remembers what I clean when I'm there.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
10/14/14 8:19 A

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When I got to Mom's yesterday she was dressed and ready for Sue to pick her up. Somehow, she had re-arranged her money again and I don't know where she put some of it from Sunday. Lisa and I talked a little yesterday. We don't know what Mom does all day. When she was in the rehabilitation center in March and was feeling well, she did so much more. She went down to the dining room to eat her meals, played games, exercised. I hoped I could keep it up with her. That didn't happen. When I go over, most of the time is spent doing things around the house. She says she keeps up the place okay - I know she isn't able to. I've watched her wash dishes - she just isn't capable of doing things well anymore. I wish things were different - it's so hard to watch.

Lisa suggested assigning cleaning chores to everyone. Great idea - but, like I told her, we had the family meeting last winter and everyone said they'd take certain days. Sharon is consistant, but winter is coming and Gary will want her to travel with him. Lisa is great. Barb soon announced that she "will see Mom when I want to see her". Shannon quit coming because the day that Helena was born, she went over and Mom was at the casino and nobody told Shannon. Shannon said she'd come over the Friday before last and help me clean. She showed up, asked what she could do, changed the bed then said she had to go because there was a lot she had to do at her place. Harry and Cheryl are great about going over to make sure she eats on occasion, but they are getting lazy about going over to give Mom her pills. Sometimes they will leave them out and call her to remind her to take them. That doesn't work - it didn't in the spring, and she was better then.





God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
10/13/14 9:26 A

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Mom and I went to lunch Saturday. She was really eager to get out of the house and i couldn't tell her no. I realize though that our talks are usually of a different tone now. We talk, but don't. Many of the things I tell her aren't remembered. I believe that's part of my attitude problem lately. I also noticed (maybe too sensitively) that it seems the family talks, and my Mom picks up bits and pieces and mixes them up. She'll say things, I'll start concentrating on them, and it's a big circle.

She is having so much trouble with money lately. The concept isn't quite there anymore. Being raised so poor, it's engrained in her to worry about it. She had re-arranged her money from Saturday to yesterday and still thought I had to get her more for her to go to the casino. I suspect that Barb will make comments about money and how I keep tabs on it - that's just her. Her view on everything is so different from everyone else and her filter on what she should say or not say broke a long time ago - if she ever had one.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
10/12/14 2:55 A

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Sharon and Lisa told me to fill out the FEMA paperwork. He called Friday night and came over Saturday. He took one look at me and said I looked stressed. After he left, Gary told me what I should have said to him. Well, he could have been there.

Mom wasn't dressed when I got there and the guy came early. Mom was completely out of Rich Moisture. Normally she tells me when she has a full one left. Good thing Paulette called andsaid she could deliver it.

Mom knew that her and Barb and Sharon were going to the casino but didn't know what day, She thought Sharon made the reservations. Nope. They want to go Wednesday and I have to make the reservations. This way, Barb could clean for Sam when I knew that he had asked me.

Mom's pills were moved and no one knows who moved them. Mom kept asking to go to the credit union for the casino. There's $475 in there plus the Canadian. I told her that if she spends all that on studs, I will gladly get her more.

One of the new pillows for the chairs in ripped already. I tried. There's garbage in garbage boxes everywhere that she wants to hang on to. I'd love to get my stuff straightened around but never have the time or energy. How did I fall into having everyone else saying that I need to do all this?

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
10/11/14 9:35 A

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Mom seemed good again yesterday. She ate a big again while I was there. Somehow a witch was brought out for Halloween. She couldn't remember where it had been or who got it out. There was a note on Monday on the calendar about the casino. When I asked about it, she wasn't sure. I had brought her money anyway; I knew that there wasn't any in her spot and I didn't want to ask to look in her purse.

She called last night and asked if I could get her some money. She said that Barb, Sharon and her were going to the casino on Monday. She didn't remember that I had put the money in the spot when I was there. She mentioned that Sharon was retired - I tried to tell her that Sharon's last day is the 24th. It's Columbus Day on Monday so Sharon doesn't have to work. She was excited that Sharon is going to the casino with her. THEN she asked if I wanted to go. No...I can't afford it for one thing. And I really believe that I need to not be around Barb.

Harry had been over in the morning and left the night pills on the table. I didn't look at them. Cheryl came down to make sure she took them and she called me. She thought that there were took many in there. I mentioned that I had found one on the floor the other day and she said she did too. Which means that I am going to have to make sure that she takes them at night. Harry had just been calling her. I don't think he realizes that she often says she takes them when in fact she doesn't.

Edited by: PATTYKLAVER at: 10/11/2014 (09:38)
God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
10/10/14 9:51 A

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Mom seemed good yesterday. She had both a bowl of cereal and a sandwich while I was there. The phone rang and I said it was Barb - it was. So, I told Mom that I would be leaving. I said to not take it wrong, but it was better that Barb and I aren't together for awhile.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
10/9/14 7:19 A

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I didn't get a chance to stop over. When I did talk to Mom, she sounded good. Lisa was over, so I was confident that she was looked after.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
10/8/14 10:13 A

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I stopped at Wal Mart and got a rug for the kitchen and bathroom, new cushions for the kitchen chairs, and some food storage containers before going to Mom's. I changed the cushions right away, I knew some of the ties had come off, but there were definite stains and some holes in the ones I bought in February. I was glad I bought them. Mom and I put one of the old ties on Diamond's tail and Mom was laughing.

When Sharon got there, I called Mom to tell her that I filled out a FEMA form and that an inspector would be out. She wanted me to tell Sharon. Sharon said that Mom told her no one was there. Mom seemed pretty good when I was there. Don't know...

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
10/7/14 9:02 A

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When I got to Mom's, I rang the doorbell and banged on the doors for awhile. I even called Harry. Mom finally came to the door. She was in the basement trying to wash her clothes and she was having trouble. She said they still looked dirty.

She had been re-arranging things. I don't know where the scrubbing bubbles or the pledge is.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
10/6/14 9:32 A

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Mom having trouble reading had me thinking all day yesterday. I really need to call the doctor and make an appointment.

She's got ant problems on the steps going into the kitchen and on the counter when you first enter the kitchen. Guess I get to go today to clean and try to figure out where they are coming from. Mom mentioned a nest. But to say she'll remember if there is one is a different story.

I avoided going to Mom's after church. I knew Barb would be there to take Mom to the casino. I didn't want any confrontations about the key. I feel that if she wants a key, she should ask Mom if she could have one. Then the two of them could go get one made. Why should I have to take time out to go make a copy with my money for her?

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
10/5/14 1:57 P

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She seemed to really enjoy herself yesterday. She did get mushy. I did notice that she had trouble reading her cards; I don't know if she really couldn't see the words or if she didn't know what the words were. I was taping it and the camcorder stopped and started again. I hope I have it all.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
10/4/14 10:05 A

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Mom had a good day yesterday, too. She'd asked a couple times about money, but that's usual. The carpet cleaners got there before I did. She had put up a lot of her knick knacks. Not sure why, but she just figured it was easier for them.

She wanted a 3Ds sandwich. So I went and got 3 of them; she wanted one for me and one for Tim. We actually got to sit in the den and eat and watch the game. That was the first time in a long time that we actually just sat together. She said how nice it was.

There's a party for her today at Sharon's - it's her 84th birthday. Of course, I will bring my camcorder. I don't know what the winter will bring with her, let alone can say if she will be here next October. I think about how she was a year ago last July and it makes me sad. Her short-term memory went so fast!

I'm glad that she knows that she can count on me. She remembers from when she was sick last winter and I would always tell her that I had her back. When Dad was sick in the hospital, there was one afternoon that I came where he really wasn't doing well. I sat by his head and just talked to him. I promised him that I would always watch out for mom. i didn't know at the time if he actually heard me. The next day, he asked my mom if I was coming up to see him. He told her that everything would be okay once I got there. It made me feel so good to know that he did hear me.

i think Mom saying that she can count on me is something that irritates Barb. I realize that mom and Barb spent a lot of time together when I was in Alabama. But she feels that when I came back that I took over. I just came back and spent time with Mom, just like she did. it wasn't a matter of taking over; it was a matter of wanting to spend time with her.

Barb's been on an "I don't have a key to Mom's house" kick the past few weeks. Sharon said right away how Barb insisted for months that she didn't want a key. She knows Harry has a key and Mom has a key. Yet she is leaving me notes on the refrigerator that she doesn't have a key. I had told her Monday that I didn't have time yet to get to the hardware store.

When I got there yesterday, there was another dated note from Barb. "Patty, I still don't have a key to Mom's house." Mom even told her that she didn't have a key to Barb's house. Mom doesn't feel comfortable yet about Barb having a key.

I got thinking and realized that Barb was doing it again. She's wanting something done and she's telling me to do it. Like with the doctor papers when she had been at the doctor with us and didn't get them then. She wanted me to go get a copy for her. No - I'm not the one that wanted them. If she wanted them, she could have taken them that day or she could go back herself. But I wasn't doing her errands for her. I thought about the times she wanted to go somewhere and didn't want to drive, so she'd ask me. And the times that she would say, "Patty's not working...ask her."

Patty does work. Patty has things I want to do but can't because I do for Mom first. So, I decided to pull a Harry and I wrote a note back to Barb. "Barb, I still haven't had time to go to the hardware store. If you want, you can take Mom up and get a key made." Mom's got a key - why can't that key be used to make a copy? Why should I be the one to use my gas and have the wear and tear on my car and spend the time and money to get her a key? When Mom wanted a key to the front door, it was me that went to Wal Mart and got her the doorknobs for her birthday last year. It was Tim who took the time to install them. No more! I want to do the things I want and have to do, not the things that Barb thinks i should do.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
10/3/14 8:18 A

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I saw Lisa yesterday and she mentioned that Mom was pretty good Wednesday night - better than she had seen her in awhile. She was telling me that when her and the kids were playing the horse racing game, Mom was struggling a bit. I really want to play more games with her. i think that will help.

I was surprised when I didn't get a call yesterday morning asking me to go to the credit union. I haven't heard how yesterday went. I will be there soon to have her carpets cleaned.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
10/2/14 8:30 A

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Barb had called Mom Tuesday when I was there and said she wanted to go to the casino on Wednesday. She told Mom that she had to get her blood work done early so they could go. I took Mom to get her blood work. When we got back, Mom called Barb. Barb said she didn't have time to get ready. Mom told her that she had really wanted to go. I would have gone, but I am so broke and I had to get paperwork done for tonight's meeting.

Meanwhile, Mom asked about money probably a dozen times. She called me last night about 9 asking about it again. I mentioned to Harry when he was at Mom's that she had money in her wallet. I'm sure that she will be asking again this morning. I don't know what to do anymore. It's hard to get her to not stress. She got herself all worked up before I got there looking for her purse. It was where she usually puts it, just down a little farther.

I don't think the others see this as much as I do. I know Lisa and Taylor see it the little bit that they are with her. But I think they are more sensitive than the others. I wish I had someone to talk to. Tim doesn't want to hear it. I could use some direction as to how to deal with everything.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
10/1/14 2:51 A

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Mom somehow came up with Dad's wedding ring and wanted me to have it. I kept asking if she was sure. She said that she knew that I would keep it and it would have the most sentimental value to me. I thought for sure she would have given it to Harry.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
9/30/14 9:06 A

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Mom was dressed and ready when I got there. But she forgot about going to get her blood work done. Sharon invited her to dinner. Barb was there with her clothes on the line. Of course, she did not say by one syllable to me. Mom didn't want Barb there by herself and begged me to stay there. I did get some housework done that I knew needed to be done. But everything else I had planned got shifted.

I try not to let Barb and Mom get me upset, but that didn't happen yesterday.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
9/29/14 8:43 A

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When I called Mom after the game ended, I could tell that she hadn't been watching it. She had forgotten again. I had wanted to speak with someone at church about what's going on. I was hoping they could give me a different perspective on it. The therapist has helped, but when I saw her last week, she was concentrating more on my relationship with the girls than she was with Mom and my siblings. She did say that she made a schedule for her family and insisted that it be followed. We did sit and make a schedule. That didn't do much good. Sharon, Sandy, and Lisa do stop by on their days. Harry is good about the pills and getting her small things at the store. Shannon quit the day Helena was born because no one told her that Mom was going to the casino. Barb says that she will see Mom when she wants to see Mom. I am grateful that she goes to the casino with her. But I also know that om pays for it and gives her money to gamble. I could do that - Mom once in awhile says she wants to take me, but never really pursues it.

A problem that I have is that Harry and I are the ones who stop in every day. Harry is really good about the medicines. But...I am the one who gets them refilled, sets them out for the week. I take out the garbage, clean the house, do the laundry, goes through and sees what is needed, goes and gets it, etc. Anything goes wrong, I get called. Time for the doctor? That's what Patty is for.

Barb's line a few years ago was "Have Patty do it. She's not working." Right - I wasn't working a 9-5 job. I was trying to sell Avon to get SOME money coming in. Now I'm trying to find a babysitting job to replace the one I lost. Still, I am not bringing in much money. Barb brings in more than I do. She's living in a low-income place. She's not using her car and her gas to run to all these places. She's not there when Mom has a problem. She's not there to sort things out, to find things, to assure Mom.

I just get resentful. I know I shouldn't. But I would love to go over to Mom's and just spend time with her. No having to do and clean, etc. Just sit and talk or take her places and enjoy her company.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
9/28/14 6:15 P

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She went to the casino yesterday and never bothered to call and ask for money or anything. When I got there today, she was cooking some chicken and seemed okay. She was going to watch the game, but had forgotten about it.

There was a note on the refrigerator from Barb that she would like a key, She never got one when I changed the locks. Mom said she asked her if Mom had a key to her place. I asked Mom if she wanted Barb to have it. She hesitated and said that only little things had been taken and it wasn't bad lately. I told Mom that I would make a copy, but would not give it to Barb. Mom would have to. I thought about it and wonder if Mom would remember. I believe I will give it to Harry and if she asks again, then the issue can be addressed.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
9/27/14 3:36 A

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Mom seemed a little better today. She tried very hard to concentrate and remember. She did call me after I was there and was fuzzy again about the date. Gotta figure a way to help her out.;

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
9/26/14 8:48 A

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I talked to Mom twice yesterday. She seemed okay. At night, she was asking if it was Saturday. She wanted to do her church envelopes. As many times as I have gotten them ready for her, she has gotten them back out and taken the money out. I know that the others realize she's struggling with memory issues, but I don't know if they realize what she does on a day to day, hour to hour basis. It's time for another family meeting, but, realistically, what good would it do? The first one didn't accomplish much. Everyone said then that I shouldn't have to do it all. They picked days, then some decided to quit. What about the every day part of helping mom? Clean, laundry, doctors, mail, garbage, etc. Frustrated.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
9/25/14 8:43 A

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I stopped at the credit union to get money for Mom to take to the casino. When I got to her house a little after 11, I had to bang on the bedroom window to wake her up. She didn't remember that she was going to the casino. (After getting ready the day before thinking she was going then...) I frantically helped her get ready as I threw in the load of sheets into the washer. Barb showed up and said she was there to take mom to the credit union. When I said I had gotten the money for her, Barb mentioned that she had been taking her for awhile. She then sat outside getting some sun.

Sharon sent an email reminding me that she won't be here in the winter. She said that if Barb, Harry, and I didn't think we could handle mom in the winter, then we need to make a decision about her. But she doesn't think now is the time to move mom - if we were going to do it, we should have done it in the spring.

Trying to do everything for mom and then trying to fit my stuff in isn't working. I haven't been able to remember much of anything lately and can't seem to stop hurting. I'd love to have answers but have no clue where to look for them.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
9/24/14 9:16 A

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Each day, I hope that Mom will have a good day. I wonder what the next few months will bring.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
9/23/14 4:09 P

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Mom called when I was at the doctor's. She thought she was going to the casino today and didn't know where Barb was. When I got there, she still thought she was going today and wall all ready. I don't know what's best any more.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
9/22/14 1:52 A

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Harry called me just after I got my pajamas on and said the power was out again. He said he was given a time of tomorrow afternoon for it to come on. I debated and felt guilt for awhile on whether or not I should go over there. But by then it was dark. And Harry could have gotten ice and put things in ice.

I just get so tired having to do it all.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
9/21/14 3:26 P

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Mom's been kind of quiet lately. But she's eating okay and moving slowly but surely. I still am amazed at the difference between last September and this September. What a journey!

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
9/20/14 9:04 A

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Twice, Mom said that someone stole two of her plants from the patio yesterday. Twice I had to tell her that they had died and that I had told her the day before that I threw them out.


Trying to get her straight about the day it is a challenge. I mark off the days that have passed when I am there. I guess I just have to tell her every day.

I hung some laundry on the line yesterday. So, I figured I'd be there awhile and started to go through her storage containers in the front closet. It took awhile to find all the places she had put things. There were quite a few without lids. No clue... I went through some of the food she had and threw out some outdated items. Mom kept mentioning that she didn't know where everything was in her house. She said it was because she had been sick and that it would take awhile to get acclimated again. I should have asked her when she thought she had been sick. I don't know if she knows how long she's been home.

Vince came and visited her while I was doing that. I'm not a fan of his, but was grateful that he kept her talking while I did that.



Edited by: PATTYKLAVER at: 9/20/2014 (09:09)
God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
9/19/14 8:53 A

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Mom was making herself something to eat when I got there yesterday. She said she had been outside for awhile. She forgot that she mentioned the day before that she wanted money for the church envelopes and wanted to go to the store. I can't think of anything she really needs; she said she was out of salt but I found the salt in the back of the cupboard.

The curtain in the bedroom was down. It took her a few minutes to find where she had put it. I know I didn't put it up right, but it's up.

Sharon sent an email that she thought Mom and Barb were going to the casino today. Mom didn't mention it at all. I don't know if Barb made the arrangements or if she planned on taking Mom to the credit union. No clue...

It still scares me how much worse Mom is now than she was this time last year. She wants so badly to stay in the house, but she can't remember so much and can't do anything. I think she would do so much better if she was around other people.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
9/18/14 5:38 A

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Mom was outside with the hoe turning over the flower bed when I got there yesterday. I'm glad she gets outside, but she often hurts herself when she weeds.

Lisa was picking her up after work to take her to Sharon's for dinner. It was to celebrate Joe's and Lisa's birthdays. Mom asked for money to put in cards then pulled out $120 from her purse. I don't know where she puts her money or if she is spending more than she thinks at the casino. I know she has fun when she goes, but she will run out of money if she continues to go as much as she does. Winter is coming, though, and she probably won't want to go as much if it's cold.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
9/17/14 10:18 A

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Mom had forgotten than I had given her money for the casino on Monday. Harry had to help her look for it. It was right in her wallet where she had put it. It scares me that the short-term memory seems to be going so fast.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
9/16/14 6:51 A

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She was waiting for me to get there yesterday. At times, she's sharp and remembers, and other times are so fuzzy. She drew a blank when the nurse asked my name. She called me Barbara a couple times. Then she teared up and told me how glad she is that I do for her. The last couple times she wanted to make reservations for the casino, she had me do it. She has trouble seeing but doesn't want to get her eyes checked.

I noticed that she's been re-arranging things in the house again. We couldn't find the cards that I had bought for her to give Kayla, Joe and Lisa. She knew where they were supposed to be, but they weren't in there. Her stuff for the casino was not in the usual spot in her purse. That one really concerns me; she's been on top of that.

I took some time to show her some pictures and videos of Helena. She seemed to enjoy that. I am hoping to have a little bit of time to spend with her on Friday. Maybe we can organize something in the house for her and go to lunch.



God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
9/15/14 9:08 A

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Mom was glad to see me yesterday. I was a little aggravated that no one had cleaned or even vacuumed. Even though they all knew she was without power for 3 days, no one bothered to clean out the refrigerator. Mom wants to believe that the items in the freezer are okay. I think that once they unthaw, they should be cooked or thrown away. Need to investigate.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
9/14/14 8:19 A

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She seemed pretty good when I talked to her yesterday. Barb was supposed to come to take her to get her hair cut. I sure hope they didn't go to BoRics.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
9/12/14 5:01 P

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I talked to Mom while Helena was messing her pants. They talked together for awhile and both really enjoyed it.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
9/11/14 1:42 P

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Barb took mom to the credit union and got some money out this morning to go to the casino. Harry called me upset because when he went down there, they weren't there. So I know there will be fireworks.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
9/10/14 8:15 P

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Did talk to her. Will call tomorrow.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
9/9/14 12:36 P

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I called Mom yesterday while we were out on our walk. Barb, Rusty and Bonnie were over. It sounded like they were having a great time. They were reminiscing about Riviera, etc. I'm glad.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
9/8/14 11:14 A

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Sharon thinks she went to the casino yesterday. I will find out.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
9/7/14 10:17 A

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I feel bad that I didn't talk to her yesterday. I will have to today.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
9/6/14 8:00 A

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I did talk to her last night. She had a hard time hearing me; she always has her TV too loud. But she seemed to enjoy the conversation. She was saying that she knows I do a lot for her.

I talked to Kathy. She had called and went over to visit Mom. She brought her cookies and said that Mom seemed to be having a good day. She got to see Diamond and commented on how she was a good and pretty cat. She said that Mom was really enjoying her.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
9/5/14 11:55 A

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I tried to call her yesterday and got the machine. Harry said she and Barb went to the casino yesterday instead of Wednesday. He didn't know why. I will try again later.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
9/4/14 8:22 A

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I didn't get a chance to talk to her yesterday. She was supposed to go to the casino with Barb. She kept telling me to not leave her for long and I really hated leaving at all.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
9/3/14 4:52 A

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Mom was definitely not herself yesterday. She thanked God I came over yesterday. She had trouble doing simple things, like making arrangements to go to the casino today. Her side/back hurt again - the spot that always hurts when she's stressed. She crawled back into bed and fell back asleep. I suspect that depression is kicking in again. I will have to have Sharon and Harry watch when I'm gone.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
9/2/14 9:23 A

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I talked to Mom yesterday and she sounded terrible. The passing of Sis definitely got to her. She admitted that she didn't remember a whole lot over the weekend. Neither Harry nor I could talk her into not going to the funeral home.

She called me back a few hours later asking if I had the day's newspaper. She wanted to get one. She sounded better, but...

I can't see her staying in that house all winter. I started worrying about me leaving for a few days. She said she was going to feel lost without me here. She asked me to please not be gone for long.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
9/1/14 5:03 A

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Mom did call last night. She asked where her clothespins were. She then said something about how I was back from Nova Scotia. No - I leave Wednesday. I know she was cleaning out her broom closet. No clue where the clothespins could be.

Harry called after that. When I was over Friday, she got a call from Minnie that Sis Watts had passed. The visitation is tomorrow from 3-8/ The girls and mom already had plans to get mani/pedicures. Harry said that he didn't think it was a good idea for her to go to the funeral home. I agree.

Now to get it through to Barb that Mom doesn't need to go. Any other time, Barb wouldn't want to drive. But somehow she manages to take Mom places that she doesn't really need to go. Harry mentioned talking to Barb and Sandy. I will not call Barb about it. Things have been quiet between us and I'd just as soon keep it that way. For awhile there, it drove me crazy.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
8/31/14 11:56 A

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I didn't talk to her at all yesterday. On Sunday, she's been going to church and breakfast with Barb. I hope someone gives her the pills this morning. I don't feel good and don't want Mom to get it.

It seems a little strange that she hasn't called me. I was so used to her calling when she hadn't talked to me. Wondering if she remembers my number....

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
8/30/14 8:41 A

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I stopped at the store and credit union. She asked for $125.00 to start, then said $150.00 and she would give me $25 for my trip. I brought her $200.00 and she didn't offer again to give me the $25. I wasn't going to ask her.

I borrowed a suitcase from her. At first i was hesitant to ask. I don't want her to say that I have taken something from her before she's gone. I will have to remember to write it in the notebook just to have a record.

We got laughing at Diamond playing with the suitcases. I got some cute pictures. I'll have to get Tim to send them to me or show me how to do it.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
8/29/14 9:25 A

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I tried for awhile to get ahold of Mom yesterday. So did Harry. He said the house looked closed up. She finally answered after Harry went down there. She said she was busy doing chores. Which means, she was in the yard and down the basement. I am scared of her going in the basement yet. It could probably still be cleaned more and I don't want her to get C-Diff again. Not sure what's going to happen when I'm gone. Should be interesting.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
8/28/14 7:23 A

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I didn't talk to Mom at all yesterday. I really expected her to call me and say she needed more money. (I had put some in her hiding spot because I knew she would be going through her purse again. Sharon said she told her she was going to.) My attitude has been bad - I have been suspecting the worst of situations. I have a feeling that she may have had Barb take her to the credit union to get some money out. I know that I have to re-install Quicken and put her accounts in there and balance them each month.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
8/27/14 3:23 A

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Oh, the stories and comments I get! Barb told Sharon that Mom was the one who insisted on going to the casino tomorrow.

I stopped at the credit union today for Mom, picked up prescriptions, stopped at Value World and got her 2 shirts, a sweater and a sweatshirt. I did another load of clothes, cleaned the bathroom pretty good, dusted, got pills situated, went back to the pharmacy. When I got back from the pharmacy, I started to help her get her purse ready for tomorrow. In her casino purse was all her things she needed, but they weren't in the bank pouch that they were normally in. We started to look for it. Mom had to go to the bathroom. I went into the den to look in her other purse. She came out of the bathroom and asked why I was going through her stuff. That's 4 days in a row she had a comment for me where she definitely wasn't happy with me. I don't know what i am doing wrong.

I am glad that I will be getting away for awhile. I need the break. It sounds terrible. I know the past year has brought about a lot of changes in her. But the comments still sting, especially when I know that I have done nothing but try my best to make things smoother for her. How many people have a folder with information in it that is taken to the doctors? I was the one who asked all the questions at doctor appointments and when mom was in the hospital.

I do the bills, the banking, the shopping, the laundry, the cleaning, make all the appointments, etc. Barb waltzes in and does the fun stuff with mom. I'd love to be able to just sit and talk with her or take her to fun places. I know I'm getting an attitude about it. I had just started doing things I wanted to do and that has been seriously curtailed. I can't remember the last time Tim and I did something, other than the first weekend of June when we went to the game with Sherry and to the beach with Sherry and Dylan. Does that really count?

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
8/26/14 8:43 A

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Mom got a decent report from the doctor. Her weight is 168 - she says that's too much and that worries me a little. Her blood pressure is still a little high. I told her she needs to get her toy out.

Barb called her yesterday afternoon and insisted that she call and make reservations for the casino tomorrow. She was a bit aggravated that Barb wouldn't do it. It's about time she gets aggravated about that.

We were supposed to go get our nails done today. Barb told Sharon that she needed to wait a week or two. In other words, she'd rather have Mom pay for her to go to the casino than have to pay to have her nails done. Mom's starting to figure Barb out; Sharon still doesn't want to believe that Barb takes advantage of Mom.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
8/25/14 8:28 A

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When I stopped to give Mom her pills yesterday and take out her garbage, she asked me what I was getting into. Cheryl heard that one and asked me what that was about. As she was leaving for the casino, she told me that I could wash the floor while I was at it. I guess it's time to take a step back. That's 4 days in a row that she's yelled at me or been snippy with me. I know her back and leg were bothering her. And she complained again about her mouth. But I can't help but think that it has something to do with her being around Barb a lot lately. It's more of a Barb attitude than a Mom attitude. I was telling Tim that I feel that I am doing all the work and not able to really spend quality time with her. I need to step back a little a re-group.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
8/24/14 8:04 A

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I was at the grocery store getting stuff for Mom and Sherry when Mom called. She asked where the dust pan was. So I told her it was in the basement on the wall by the washer. She asked what I had bought for her. It was hard to tell her as I was in line trying to sort out her and my stuff.

When I got to Mom's, she was on the phone with Barbara. She was complaining to Barb that I had complained about how many times Mom went to the casino. I had mentioned the other day that if her leg and back still hurt really bad, that she might want to consider staying home. Mom has no clue that I heard what she said.

Mom then asked me if I could take her to the credit union. She then remembered that it wasn't opened. I started talking to her about getting her purses ready Thursday night. She got her days mixed up and said that she had gone to dinner after that. (Sharon and Barb went with her Tuesday.)

I suggested that maybe we see how much she had. I couldn't find her casino purse. She had put it in a different spot. So, we counted her money. She had more in her wallet than she did on Thursday. The other money was still the same. Thursday night, she said she didn't need any more money. Yesterday, she said she did. I pulled out the money from where she keeps it and gave it to her. She said she still needed about $50 more. So I pulled it out of my purse and asked if she needed any more. She said no...that she knew she wouldn't be spending that much.

It's like she resents me for "controlling" her money. It sounds like something Barb put in her head. I've been taking the money out of the credit union and putting it into an account that pays more interest. We talked about it and she agreed that it was a good thing to do. She says on occasion that she will have Barb take her to the credit union. That's what I am afraid of. They've done it before. What if it dawns on her the whole amount of money isn't in there and she doesn't remember that we talked? I am going to have to make plans with Sharon and Harry to meet me at the bank. I'm going to put them on the account with me...just in case.

Mom is so tired lately. I think she does need a few days to rest. Especially when she goes to the casino on Sunday after going to church and breakfast, she's tired. Then she still tries to go outside and do things in the yard. Her legs and back have hurt all week. She complained again about her mouth yesterday. She hadn't done that in awhile but doesn't want me to make a dentist appointment for her. Just like her eyes...she complained, I made an appointment, and now she doesn't want to go.

I need to sit and talk with someone. I feel like I am doing nothing right. No matter what I do, she will thank me to my face, and then complain to others.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
8/23/14 8:52 A

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I went over there yesterday and Mom was in bed. She hasn't been in bed in a long time. I gave her some Advil and started doing my usual stuff - garbage, birds, weeds, etc. I left the garage open because I went out front to water the flowers and get some bushes trimmed. I didn't want mom doing it. I came back around and the garage was closed. I had to go in the house with all the trimmings in my arms. Mom was mad at me because she thought I left everything opened and went to Harry's. I had the trimmings in my arms! It was like - okay, I'm out of here. Mom, if your hurt so much, let me take you to a clinic or think about resting more. She didn't want to hear either one of those.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
8/22/14 8:23 A

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I stopped last night after babysitting to get Mom's pills situated and to make sure she took them. She couldn't remember if she had eaten. She tried to give me the "I'll eat after I go to the bathroom" line, so I heated something up when she went to the bathroom.

When I went downstairs to get her pill container, the de-humidifyer was off again. I dumped out the water and started it again. I didn't bother telling her that I turned it on. I knew that if I did, she'd go down and shut it off. "I don't work for Edison."

The clothes that I put in the dryer Tuesday were still in there. So I folded them up and brought them up. She said that if she knew they were in there, she would have gotten them. Tuesday, she said she would get them. She didn't want me to go in the bedroom. She had her purses on the bed getting them ready for Sunday and the casino.

Mom couldn't remember how many times she's been to the casino in the last couple weeks. I got the line about how she doesn't drink, smoke, or have sex. I know she needs something to do. But what she tells me sure sounds like something Barb has told her. She went through $250.00 last Sunday and she has no clue. When I 1st got there, she asked if I had brought her money. When I told her no, she said that Barb would take her to the credit union today. After we situated her money, she said she didn't need any. ?????

Harry and I seem to be on the same page, as does Sharon. But I don't think Sharon sees things quite as clearly. She's not able to be around Mom as much.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 123,761
8/21/14 9:34 A

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Mom commented a few times in the past few weeks that she thought she needed to get her eyes checked. So, I made an appointment yesterday and called her to tell her. She said her eyes were fine and she'd rather go to the casino with the money. She asked if I wanted to go Sunday. I had to tell her no - I can't afford it and there's too many things I need to do here.

I asked Sharon if Mom complained to her about her eyes. She said that mom just complained about her legs hurting because she had been outside working in the yard. She said that Mom seemed really tired. Yeah - in 10 days, she was at the casino 4. Barb's been taking her here and there and she's worn out.

She asked me to bring her money. She said she needs to have some money in the house so she can do things like go to lunch. It crossed my mind that it sounded like something Barb had harped to her about - that Barb thinks I don't leave any money for her. Her bills are paid, she has food and cleaning supplies and health supplies that I buy with Mom's money, and mom has money there to do things.

I realize that Barb comes over and spends time with her. I know they go to the casino and out to eat. But I know that Mom pays. I would love to be able to go over there and just visit with mom. But when I go over, I'm busy cleaning and weeding and taking out the garbage and getting the mail and doing the laundry and going to the store. So, there's not much time to just sit and socialize. Mom mentioned yesterday that she'd like me to come when I can stay longer. I am just too busy right now.

Edited by: PATTYKLAVER at: 8/21/2014 (09:36)
God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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