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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
12/22/14 7:18 P

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I talked to Harry after church yesterday and he told me that Mom went to the casino, so I didn't call or go over. Later on, Sandy called and said the pills were mixed up. I KNOW they weren't the last I checked. I do know that Cheryl said that Mom had taken the night pills on Saturday morning, so I told her to give her the morning pills.

When I went over there today, they were still screwed up. WTF? How hard is it? I looked at the notes and it started when Barb took her to the casino. She said "the pills weren't there so I didn't give them to her". She could have called and asked.

I tried to get her refills today and the pharmacy computer was down. I got one, but have to go back tomorrow to get the rest.

Mom's been depressed and it makes sense when someone isn't on their toes when they give her the meds. I feel bad that I won't be home for a few days, but I really need to go. She made the comment about being ready to go. I don't know what exactly to tell her. I did say that the pills should help. I do need to spend time with her more when I get back and Sherry leaves.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
12/21/14 1:22 P

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Mom seemed very uncomfortable over here yesterday unless she was holding Helena. I got the feeling it was very hard for her to hear everyone.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
12/19/14 10:01 P

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We took Helena over today and Shannon met us. Mom seemed pretty good - she was happy to see the baby and Shannon. I did get her night pills out and she did seem a little confused about those, however.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
12/18/14 7:54 P

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I haven't seen her two days in a row. She still commented today about being down for a few days. The doctor finally called back today and said that I could increase the dose on a couple medicines. I hope it helps.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
12/17/14 8:08 A

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I haven't talked to Mom this morning. So, I don't know if she noticed that i cleaned or not. I was actually looking for her driver's license and credit card but didn't find them.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
12/16/14 9:31 A

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Mom is going to the casino with Sharon and Barb today. She was really good yesterday - when I got there, she had remembered where the money cards were and had four out with $20 bills in them. She asked about the check right away. We did her hair and got her purse ready. As I left, she asked if she had money for the casino - that was the only hiccup.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
12/15/14 9:35 A

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I have to call the doctor and see if I can get the Zoloft increased. I also have to see if I can get her out more.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
12/14/14 9:07 A

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She's admitted that she's feeling a little down. I will have to call the doctor tomorrow and see if we can get her zoloft upped a bit.
I called her this morning to ask if she would go to church with the girls and couldn't talk her into it.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
12/13/14 6:47 A

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We stopped by yesterday and she was excited to see us. At one point, she looked at us and asked what his name was. What??? Complete brain fade. I tried to joke about it and asked how could she forget Helena's name. Not sure if it was the right approach, but...Then she called Sarah Sherry. At least on that one, she was close.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
12/12/14 7:10 A

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I got to spend a few hours with her yesterday just the two of us and I enjoyed it.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
12/11/14 8:32 P

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We went over yesterday and had to leave quickly. Mom was upset. She asked about Mrs. Ridlon and I had to tell her that she's better. She called again this morning all worried. I still told her that Mrs. Ridlon is better. I don't want her to get depressed again.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
12/9/14 9:20 A

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We took Helena over Mom's yesterday. Mom was ecstatic and LOUD. Helena did great. When we were leaving, Mom told Sherry that this was the best Christmas present.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
12/8/14 8:55 A

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Cheryl called here when she was at Mom's yesterday. She took the garbage out for me. Mom is excited to see Helena. It's just be crazy still.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
12/7/14 9:19 A

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I was so busy yesterday I didn't even get to talk to her.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
12/6/14 7:44 A

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I worked on the bay window for Mom yesterday. She has so many Christmas decorations! She's been giving a lot away, like she senses something and just doesn't want to tell me. But I know her enough to pick up on that, especially with certain things she's told me lately. She's told me a couple times this week that a psychic told her that she will live into her 80s. I did remind her that she will be in her 80s for 6 more years.

Diamond is so funny when we decorate the window. Mom just laughs and laughs at her. It does me good to hear her laugh. I am so glad I got Diamond for her.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
12/5/14 7:28 A

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I didn't get a chance to get back over there yesterday. I did stop at Ace and get the bird seed that's on sale. I will cut short my helping at church and get over there for a little bit.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
12/4/14 8:49 A

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Sharon called me just as I was getting ready to leave for Mom's. She mentioned that Barb is still unsure as to where Mom's money is.

When I got to Mom's, she said she had to ask about her money, too, as Barb was pressuring her. As much as I don't want to do it, I will have to get her copies of what is where. She will feel like she won again. Then there will be something else that she will insist I do.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
12/3/14 9:58 A

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I talked to her early; she said the phone was better and that she hadn't heard from Barb yet. She never called back.I assume she went to the casino.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
12/2/14 8:40 A

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I got there about 4 pm yesterday. I took a look at the phone in the den. The answering machine had been turned off and the ringer was low. So I turned them on. When I called later, Mom said it was easier to hear the phone.

Mom wasn't dressed when I got there. She got dressed right away. I asked her if she just wanted to stay in her pj's, but she didn't. She is supposed to go to the casino with Barb today. I did tell her that if Barb cancels again that I would go. I don't have the time or money, really. But Barb has canceled out on her 3 times in less than 2 weeks.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
12/1/14 11:07 A

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Mom called Harry last night saying she was waiting for someone to bring her some more aspirins. Then I realized I never took them out of my purse.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
11/30/14 5:04 P

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I tried to call Mom a couple times yesterday and a couple times today because I heard she was going to the casino with Barb today. The phone just kept ringing. I stopped at Wal-Mart after church today, got her a couple things, and headed over. Harry answered the door and she was home. Barb had "car trouble".

Mom and I talked about a few things. She told me again that a psychic told her that she would live into her 80's. I said that she was only 84; she'd be in her 80s until the day before her 90th birthday. She thought she was older than that.

Mom was dreaming about Dad last night. She could see him clearly and he told her he was just waiting for her. Sherry said she had a dream about her the other night - that we all went to a rave and she had a great time while wearing a hospital gown.

I suspect she's trying to prepare herself a bit.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
11/29/14 7:20 A

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I got there about 1 and Cheryl had just given her the meds. She ate for me. I cleaned out the cupboard above the toilet and did a load of clothes. Barb called while I was there. Mom laughed and giggled with her. I felt as if they were up to something. Maybe just my frame of mind.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
11/28/14 7:52 A

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Mom called yesterday a little before noon to say she didn't feel good and that she had diarrhea a couple times, so she wasn't going to come over. I worried for awhile. About 6 pm, she called and said that no one had brought her a plate. She definitely sounded better. I got stuff together for her and Tim and I went over. She ate turkey, potatoes, stuffing, green beans, salad and pie. I hadn't see her eat so much in one sitting in a long time.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
11/27/14 11:19 A

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When I got there yesterday, Mom had tried to wash her floor and it was all streaked. I dyed her hair for her and re-did the floor while it was developing. I also did her nails. She was surprised that I did it.

Sarah said she called her last night and that she sounded good. That was good to hear.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
11/26/14 11:44 A

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Mom called as I was headed to the bank. The lab called reminding her that she was over due for her blood work. She should have gone a couple weeks ago. With me being sick and then the cold weather, we hadn't gone. Her cumidin level was off the last 2 times (1.6 & 1.62 instead of 2).

Mom seemed agitated about not having gone. I told her that I was headed over there right after the bank and I could take her. She was somewhat ready when I got there. Then she had to go to the bathroom twice. Then she wasn't sure where her purse was (on the counter - she didn't remember that she put it there). I asked where her coat was and she got it right away. She did remember that she always takes candy with her to give to the girls.

Sandy and I had talked about Mom's memory. When I am over there on an almost daily basis and walk through things with her, she's pretty good. She's been good about her medicine lately. But I don't think she's eating as well as she should be. I am going to have to work on that.


God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
11/25/14 10:00 A

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Mom went out and got her garbage and recycle bins herself yesterday. She keeps trying to do things that she knows she really shouldn't be doing. Last week, she had the broom out to get up the snow.

She mentioned something the other day about something in the kitchen not working at first but then she got it working. I talked to Harry yesterday and he told me that she had unplugged the stove.

She had trouble the week before with her TV. Before that was the phone. Before that was the washer. It hit me last night that it's happening more frequently. Must have family talk.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
11/24/14 8:23 A

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Mom was really cold yesterday, but seemed good. She asked if I invited Barb to Thanksgiving dinner.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
11/23/14 4:04 P

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She went to church with Barb yesterday. And, of course, they went to dinner and shopping. She was tired today.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
11/22/14 7:33 P

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Have not talked to her today.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
11/21/14 9:18 A

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I talked to Mom yesterday morning. She said that they cancelled going to the casino. I kind of figured that - Barb won't drive if the weather isn't perfect and it's not daylight. I didn't talk to her after that. I think I will try to plan to go with her within the next couple weeks.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
11/20/14 10:08 A

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I didn't get over there yesterday. It was a snowy, blowing, bitter day. She started off okay but called me a lot during the day questioning things. I really need to get over there every day that I can.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
11/19/14 10:21 A

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Harry called while I was babysitting. He couldn't get Mom to answer the door or the phone. He calls me....I told him to knock on the bedroom window. Mom sleeps pretty soundly in the morning.

She wanted me to bring money over for the casino. She didn't want me to help her get her purse ready. She just said to put the money in the container. She already had $320 in there. So I just added $80.

Barb took Mom to Kmart twice last month to shop and they spend $150. Mom couldn't remember what on.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
11/18/14 8:23 A

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I was at Mom's for a little bit. I had to stop at Kroger to get a couple things and automatically got a few things that I knew she needed. It boggles me that no one else automatically notices that she needs something or something needs to be done. Harry will ask if she needs something if he's headed to the store. Sharon will ask if there's anything she can do. But many times, Mom doesn't remember or notice that things need to be cleaned.

Two parents - four children - we were raised the same general way. Granted, we are different, so that has to be accounted for. But it's still the same parents, the same household, the same basic ways of raising us. The dynamics are different because of the fact that there are 5 years between us. Most families have children within 3 years of each other.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
11/17/14 12:55 A

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She's still mixing up where to put the garbage, but it is confusing. She's really having problems with incontinence. She's in the bathroom constantly. Many times she doesn't quite make it. She goes through a lot of underwear. If it's not too bad, I will hear her in there with the blow dryer. I asked why she just doesn't change and she said that sometimes it's not but a little. I need to make an appointment with the doctor.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
11/16/14 1:56 P

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I talked to Mom yesterday and this morning, but haven't gone over yet. I don't want to run into anyone.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
11/15/14 9:07 A

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I got Mom a couple blue rugs and she was happy with them. We had a good afternoon.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
11/14/14 10:02 A

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Heading over after my therapist appointment. Didn't talk to her yesterday.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
11/13/14 3:07 P

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Mom was definitely having trouble with money yesterday. It scares me a bit when she's out with Barb spending money. Barb, I believe, has what's called "wet brain" and doesn't have a clear concept on things.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
11/12/14 11:24 A

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I made it over yesterday. Mom looked like she was down. I don't think she took her morning meds so I gave them to her at 3 pm. Gotta get in the habit of getting there earlier. I don't know if she had eaten, either. I just have to work on a schedule.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
11/11/14 9:31 A

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On Saturday, I had reminded my Mom that I had her Kmart gift card. I told her we would go and get her a comforter. I pulled into the Kmart on 13/Schoenherr that's going out of business yesterday as I was talking to Sharon. Barb took Mom to Big Lots Saturday and got one.

I looked for rugs for her but couldn't find any. I went over for a minute to get her pills organized. No one had gotten the clothes out of the dryer from 4 days ago. There was garbage in the recycle bin. The kitty litter needed changing badly. I had to give Diamond food and water.

Mom got a light blue bedspread - one that I wouldn't have purchased but she likes it. I picked up the edge to show Mom that I had put 2 blankets on the bed to find that she still had the old bedspread on the bed and the sheet was on top on the blankets and spread. I did notice again yesterday that Mom was rinsing the dishes but not using dish liquid. I asked her about it a couple times, and she says she does use it. But...

And the others wonder why I clean when I go over there. I found out that my nail has a bacterial infection in it and I tend to think I picked it up at Mom's. I just don't want to have a long winter like last winter. Already, I've been sick twice since the end of August. And I know how frail Mom has gotten just since a year ago.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
11/10/14 9:43 A

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I talked to Mom for a minute yesterday. She didn't remember that I was sick. But she did have Sandy, Dylan, Danielle, Vincent and Joey over so her mind was on that.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
11/9/14 10:54 A

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I can tell that I haven't been to Mom's in a couple days. She seemed a bit confused yesterday. I am not sure if I should go today - I don't want her sick.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
11/8/14 10:45 A

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I talked to Mom twice last night. She had been upstairs looking for window decorations. She was in the closet and I know the ones she wants are in the attic space by the dressers. When I feel better, I will have to go over.

The bedroom TV isn't working and the lights in the den wouldn't go out for her. Not sure if it's just something silly or if there's something wrong.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
11/7/14 10:07 A

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I haven't talked to her. She was at the casino yesterday. I don't want to go over today because I don't feel good.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
11/6/14 9:25 A

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I was trying to get out the door to get to Harry's yesterday. I was supposed to be there at 10 and it was 20 after. Mom called and said Lakefront Lines called her and there was a problem with the card. She said to call right away. So I stopped at Ace and got bird seed and at Family Dollar to get her some pads and headed there. In the meantime, she called Sharon saying the same thing. I called and what happened was that Mom called them and couldn't read the numbers. Sharon called after I did this and said she talked to them and Mom had reservations. Mom knows I don't feel comfortable making reservations for Barb all the time, so she did try herself. But then she gets anxious and frustrated.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
11/5/14 4:38 A

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When I got there yesterday, Sharon was there. She hadn't taken her pills or eaten and was outside raking leaves.

Sharon and Lisa will be gone for a few weeks. It will be difficult. With Sharon retired now, I really appreciate her help.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
11/4/14 8:29 A

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I didn't get to stay over there long; I had a doctor appointment. She was quiet - at first I thought no one was there. She was sitting in the den with no tv on or anything. She is wanting to go to the casino again but I don't think Barb got back with her.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
11/3/14 9:05 A

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I wonder what the winter will bring with us. Mom wants to go shopping and get a new bedspread. She gave one to Barb because Barb said she needed one. She talked about going to the casino on Wednesday and making the reservations herself. Will see what happens on that one.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
11/2/14 5:15 P

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I stopped by yesterday and she slept most of the time I was there. She's sleeping a lot again in the afternoon. It seems harder and harder for her to move.

I stopped by today. She had taken the garage door opener out into the garage and shut it in there. At least today she was up and moving. The Halloween stuff was out of the front window, I put the stuff in the tote for her and took it upstairs. I had put a ceramic piece of three pumpkins in her bedroom that I'm not sure where she put it.

I went to get a garbage bag out of the broom closet and had to look for the box of garbage bags that I put in there yesterday. I finally found it in one of the bags.

Then Mom said she wasn't sure where her casino purse was. I went in the bedroom and it was right under the bed. We counted the money and she told me that she had plenty. As I was leaving, she opened the door and asked if I could get $300 out of the credit union for her.

Lots of ups and downs.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
11/1/14 9:34 A

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I need to get over there today. Sharon found out how time-consuming things are when we're over there yesterday. I don't want to go tomorrow. I just don't want to run into Barb.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
10/31/14 6:04 P

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I am so glad that Sharon is back in town. I had to babysit today from 7-4 and didn't get a chance to get over Mom's. She made chili with her and put up her green kitchen curtains. Mom sounded good when I talked to her.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
10/30/14 10:34 A

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Mom wanted to make chili yesterday but couldn't remember the recipe. I pulled down the box of cookbooks for us to look through. She started going through them. After awhile, she would forget what recipe she was looking for.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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FATCAT216's Photo FATCAT216 SparkPoints: (6,763)
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10/29/14 7:11 A

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Sometimes we just feel like banging our head against the wall don't we. Deep breath and walk away.



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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
10/29/14 6:03 A

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When I got to Mom's at 5 after working, she hadn't taken her morning pills. She told Harry she had. Harry and I both noticed that she often says that she doesn't need to take that many pills and wants to pick and choose. Mom was thinking it was still morning and didn't believe me when I told her what time it was.

Sharon stopped by and we were sitting there talking. She asked how many times during October that Mom went to the casino. I started looking at the calendar and saying when she went. Mom got mad at me. She said she didn't do anything else - why not go to the casino? She said that she won't go any more - she'll just give us the money.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
10/28/14 8:22 A

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Mom slept until almost noon. Harry tried to call her a few times and finally sent Kayla down to check on her. I got there a little after 4 and she seemed pretty good. I think she was just getting around to eating, though. I did her hair and nails and we looked a little at Helena's pictures. She still said her knee hurt, but I don't think it was as bad.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
10/27/14 8:11 A

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Mom definitely over-did it the end of the week: casino on Thursday, shopping on Friday, and up and down the stairs and outside on Saturday. When I got there yesterday, she was in the bathroom talking to herself. At first, my thoughts always go to C-Diff. It was the right knee. She pulled up her pants and it was swollen. I gave her some aspirins, put her to bed with a heating pad and made some warm milk. Hoping it's better today.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
10/26/14 2:18 P

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I talked to Mom this morning and she was still in bed and hurting. She's thinking she went shopping yesterday. I will go a little later and check on her.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
10/25/14 7:56 P

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Mom over-did it today and was hurting when I got there. I gave her an aspirin and am hoping she's feeling better tomorrow.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
10/24/14 9:07 A

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Don't know how she did yesterday, but I didn't get any phone calls so I am assuming she went to the casino. Harry is in the hospital with diverticulitis. He was tested for C-Diff and it came back okay. But I know the test is at best 60% effective. So...I get to clean Mom's house well today.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
10/23/14 7:52 A

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I had thought she had done rather well with Barb and me arguing on Friday. I got a phone call yesterday asking what was going on. When I stopped after babysitting, she seemed better. That's what bothers me the most when Barb pulls this: it makes mom worse. It's sad that Barb doesn't stick around to see it and that she refuses to believe that any thing she does is wrong.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
10/22/14 8:08 A

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When I was over on Monday, I was taking the garbage out just before I was getting ready to leave. I grabbed the table that was on the patio and took it to the garage. I had already brought in the rest of the tomatoes. The temperature at night has been going down to 32. I didn't want them to freeze. I was going to tell Mom I did that. She asked if I could go in the front yard and grab some mums for her table. When I brought them in the house, Harry came over and he was in one of his "woes is me" moods. I forgot.

I got a phone call yesterday. Someone stole her table and she wrote a note and put it on the fence! No, Mom...with Harry coming over I forgot. She did laugh about it.

Later on, she called me a little confused. AAA sent a letter to her at Harry's address. The way it was written, she was a policyholder and they wanted to let her know she could spend $352 and get another roadside card. No, Mom! It's an advertisement. They are looking for people TO spend the money for a card that they'd hardly use.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
10/21/14 10:18 A

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Mom was a little off still yesterday. She asked me to make casino reservations for Thursday. She knew I didn't want to, but asked me to please do her a favor.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
10/20/14 8:53 A

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Will see how Mom is doing this morning. It usually takes about a week for her to settle down. I will still keep working on getting the i's dotted and the t's crossed so things won't have to be done at the last minute.



God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
10/19/14 2:32 P

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Mom called Sandy this morning to say she couldn't get ahold of Barb. Sandy talked to Barb and then called me. Barb stated that if I did not bring a key to Mom's house over to her today that she would not only make a police report but she would not go to Mom's until she had one.

She got the key, BUT the rest of the family is clearly not on her side. And she will never realize what went wrong. So sorry.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
10/18/14 12:33 P

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As much as Mom tried to not let Barb bother her, she did. She's laying in bed and didn't sleep good last night. All Barb had to say was that she didn't want to clean Sam's house. Mom went with me and had a hard time cleaning the stove.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
10/17/14 5:20 A

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Mom had laid in bed long again yesterday morning. The outfits she wears are mismatched and she wears them for awhile. I've gotten in the habit of going through collecting clothes and throwing them down the chute. Someone did a load of laundry the other day and I'm not sure who. Mom said she did, but...the last time I went over there she was trying to do a load and said she couldn't get the clothes clean. She always tells me to use liquid fabric softener. I was cleaning up a little bit and picking up dryer sheets. I commented about that there sure was a lot and I didn't know where they were coming from. She said she uses them.

I asked her what she had for breakfast. She told me toast. She told Sharon bacon. Then she told us she had a bagel. I don't think she ate. Sharon sent me a text and told me that she suspects that Mom lost a bit of money when they went to the casino.

I thought about asking Sharon and Harry if they would mind if I would get paid to go over a few hours a day and do things with her. Sharon and Harry have both been leaving pills out for her. She was good Wednesday, but...the pills were also out of order in the container.

Sometimes I just want to pick up and move back to Alabama. But what to do with Mom?

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
10/16/14 9:14 A

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I ran by yesterday and the pills were confusing. There weren't any for yesterday morning and the night time had some for Monday and Tuesday. I filled it up and got out some morning pills. Thank goodness Sharon got there. She said she had left the morning ones out. Mom must have taken them. But she never remembers or writes it down. Wishing Sharon and Harry wouldn't do that. Whenever there is a problem, I get a phone call.

Mom couldn't remember what she ate for breakfast but said she did eat something. It was either toast, a bagel, or bacon.

Money is a problem. She moves it around and puts it in places, then forgets that she has it.
I've considered asking if I could maybe get paid to come clean and give her the pills every day. That way there is no confusion...maybe.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
10/15/14 9:21 A

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I talked to Mom for a minute yesterday. She asked if I was coming over. She's so used to me coming every day, that when I don't, it throws her off. One more thing to think about when considering this babysitting position.

Harry had just come in and she kinda gave me the bum's rush. The day before, she was telling me that the phone in the den didn't work. When I picked it up, it was working. I noticed yesterday that my power had gone off when I was babysitting. Wondering if that was the time that DTE Energy was switching the meters.

It does seem that Mom is starting to really forget simple things: reading, making phone calls, using the washer. She still thinks she keeps up the house okay. I don't think she remembers what I clean when I'm there.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
10/14/14 8:19 A

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When I got to Mom's yesterday she was dressed and ready for Sue to pick her up. Somehow, she had re-arranged her money again and I don't know where she put some of it from Sunday. Lisa and I talked a little yesterday. We don't know what Mom does all day. When she was in the rehabilitation center in March and was feeling well, she did so much more. She went down to the dining room to eat her meals, played games, exercised. I hoped I could keep it up with her. That didn't happen. When I go over, most of the time is spent doing things around the house. She says she keeps up the place okay - I know she isn't able to. I've watched her wash dishes - she just isn't capable of doing things well anymore. I wish things were different - it's so hard to watch.

Lisa suggested assigning cleaning chores to everyone. Great idea - but, like I told her, we had the family meeting last winter and everyone said they'd take certain days. Sharon is consistant, but winter is coming and Gary will want her to travel with him. Lisa is great. Barb soon announced that she "will see Mom when I want to see her". Shannon quit coming because the day that Helena was born, she went over and Mom was at the casino and nobody told Shannon. Shannon said she'd come over the Friday before last and help me clean. She showed up, asked what she could do, changed the bed then said she had to go because there was a lot she had to do at her place. Harry and Cheryl are great about going over to make sure she eats on occasion, but they are getting lazy about going over to give Mom her pills. Sometimes they will leave them out and call her to remind her to take them. That doesn't work - it didn't in the spring, and she was better then.





God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
10/13/14 9:26 A

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Mom and I went to lunch Saturday. She was really eager to get out of the house and i couldn't tell her no. I realize though that our talks are usually of a different tone now. We talk, but don't. Many of the things I tell her aren't remembered. I believe that's part of my attitude problem lately. I also noticed (maybe too sensitively) that it seems the family talks, and my Mom picks up bits and pieces and mixes them up. She'll say things, I'll start concentrating on them, and it's a big circle.

She is having so much trouble with money lately. The concept isn't quite there anymore. Being raised so poor, it's engrained in her to worry about it. She had re-arranged her money from Saturday to yesterday and still thought I had to get her more for her to go to the casino. I suspect that Barb will make comments about money and how I keep tabs on it - that's just her. Her view on everything is so different from everyone else and her filter on what she should say or not say broke a long time ago - if she ever had one.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
10/12/14 2:55 A

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Sharon and Lisa told me to fill out the FEMA paperwork. He called Friday night and came over Saturday. He took one look at me and said I looked stressed. After he left, Gary told me what I should have said to him. Well, he could have been there.

Mom wasn't dressed when I got there and the guy came early. Mom was completely out of Rich Moisture. Normally she tells me when she has a full one left. Good thing Paulette called andsaid she could deliver it.

Mom knew that her and Barb and Sharon were going to the casino but didn't know what day, She thought Sharon made the reservations. Nope. They want to go Wednesday and I have to make the reservations. This way, Barb could clean for Sam when I knew that he had asked me.

Mom's pills were moved and no one knows who moved them. Mom kept asking to go to the credit union for the casino. There's $475 in there plus the Canadian. I told her that if she spends all that on studs, I will gladly get her more.

One of the new pillows for the chairs in ripped already. I tried. There's garbage in garbage boxes everywhere that she wants to hang on to. I'd love to get my stuff straightened around but never have the time or energy. How did I fall into having everyone else saying that I need to do all this?

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 124,951
10/11/14 9:35 A

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Mom seemed good again yesterday. She ate a big again while I was there. Somehow a witch was brought out for Halloween. She couldn't remember where it had been or who got it out. There was a note on Monday on the calendar about the casino. When I asked about it, she wasn't sure. I had brought her money anyway; I knew that there wasn't any in her spot and I didn't want to ask to look in her purse.

She called last night and asked if I could get her some money. She said that Barb, Sharon and her were going to the casino on Monday. She didn't remember that I had put the money in the spot when I was there. She mentioned that Sharon was retired - I tried to tell her that Sharon's last day is the 24th. It's Columbus Day on Monday so Sharon doesn't have to work. She was excited that Sharon is going to the casino with her. THEN she asked if I wanted to go. No...I can't afford it for one thing. And I really believe that I need to not be around Barb.

Harry had been over in the morning and left the night pills on the table. I didn't look at them. Cheryl came down to make sure she took them and she called me. She thought that there were took many in there. I mentioned that I had found one on the floor the other day and she said she did too. Which means that I am going to have to make sure that she takes them at night. Harry had just been calling her. I don't think he realizes that she often says she takes them when in fact she doesn't.

Edited by: PATTYKLAVER at: 10/11/2014 (09:38)
God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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