Is feeling disappointed in myself today thinking about my work. I tend to "vent" a lot to my co-workers about my department that I manage. I don't have a lot of patience for employees who make the same daily mistakes day in, day out for 6 months in a row. Well, in my venting, my coworker shared some of my complaints with her superior and now I feel like I look like a weak leader, when really I am just at my wits end. I don't like managing people, I'm not good at being stern. I hold people accountable but every time I write them up, or even suspend them, they argue with me. I hate the talk-back and the arguing. I have 3 kids and I don't have the mental stamina for the talk-back or for people claiming that they are being sabotaged or that people are just trying to get them out.
Unfortunately, I have such a hard time separating myself from the income I get from that job. I would not earn that money anywhere else and I feel like we have lived through such tough economic times that it would be completely illogical to durn down a decent-paying job. I also feel that being a mother of 3 children it would be irresponsible to walk away from that job.
So, while I deal with all the nonsense from my job 45 hours a week every week I have to try to keep myself in a good mental state of mind to be able to change my lifestyle to be healthier. It takes an enormous amount of time and energy to stay on track to lose weight. Changing a lifestyle is at least a part-time job, if not full time. All this on top of raising a family can be overwhelming sometimes.
I won't give up on myself or my better lifestyle efforts, but I sure would love to change jobs
Your Spark Friend, Amy
| current weight: 264.4