I am a very private person and sharing my thoughts and opinions has always been a struggle for me in all of life's situations. So this is a VERY big step for me, but I think it's a very important one.
I have had a weight problem since I was a young child and am now 65 years old and still battling. I have tried every diet plan and it works for a while but then the weight come back with more pounds added. I finally took a good long,hard look at this and realized that whenever something happened in my life that I did not want to face, I turned to food for solace. For example, two years ago I lost 25 lbs. and then my husband started getting sick due to stress at work and whenever I tried to discuss this with him or make suggestions he would shut me down without realizing how it affected me. Truthfully, how I allowed it to affect me. Don't get me wrong, this was not a marital problem. I'm ok with that part of his personality. I have learned that he has to work through his problems by himself and I just need to be his sounding board.
Through all of this I have realized that I have come to think of food as one of the only things I could control, but now I know I wasn't controlling it---it was controlling me. So now when I feel like I need to eat anything that isn't nailed down, I try to stop, take a deep breath and figure out what's really going on. Sometimes this works and sometimes it doesn't. But now I am aware of my relationship with food.
I used to laugh and say that I would eat when I was happy, sad, mad, anxious or any other emotion I could think of. But I'm not laughing anymore. I'm dead serious about why, when, where and how I eat. This is going to be the LAST TIME I'm going to have to lose a lot of weight.
I have also come to acknowledge that I cannot do this alone, but with God all things are possible. I pray everyday asking Him to give me the grace I need to stay strong in this journey and I know He hears me.
"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Barb from NY
| current weight: 184.4