I really liked looking at others journals. It is a great insight. So I decided to start my own. I love writing on paper but always find myself in front of a computer, either at work or home. So I might is well try this out.
January 7th I decided to get back on track and lose this weight. I have been carrying it around for years as a shield. I don't want or need it anymore. I struggle with an eating disorder. I binge. Since about 2011 I have been working with a therapist to get things figured out and help my disorder. It's awesome to have someone help you see the destructive behaviors you are putting yourself through. Although I do feel that I am a very emotional and aware person. I know exactly why I do things the way I do and I just have had a really hard time breaking it. I see it but just don't make the effort to stop it.
I really felt this year that I am ready. I started going back to the gym,m this will be my third week. I am focusing on at least four days a week and trying not to over do things and make myself stop. This will be my third week. I feel pretty great. I have also been tracking my food. I am not always within my calorie range but I am keeping track and that helps me keep a record of what I am doing and why. So far so good.
I had a bit of a struggle this weekend. I went over my calories both day, which honestly I expected. I struggled a bit on Sunday with feeling down about it. I just kept telling myself it was ok. I did not binge I just over ate. So today I had my usual breakfast and I am eating a healthy lunch. Drinking lots of water.
My goal is to lose 100 pounds in a year. To do that I need to lose about 2 pounds average a week. The way I am going so far this can and will happen. Even if I go over my calories every once in awhile I will still lose. Putting all my hard work in at the gym is going to help.
So today I am NOT going to beat myself up over my weekend. I will eat my healthy lunch and dinner. Go to step class at the gym and feel great about myself!!
Here's to the struggle and sticking with it.
Love yourself........ Take care of yourself......
| current weight: 279.0