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7/29/14 2:21 P

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Thanks, Lisa. I do miss both of my parents now. When they say you can't go home I don't think that it means an actual place, but I really feel that that is how it is now...My sister lives there now, but when we went out for Mom's memorial service my husbands comment was "the welcome has gone out of the place." And he was right. We also lost Jeep while out there. She crossed that rainbow bridge on Palm Sunday and I sure miss her, also.
I am sorry it got to be a private conversation, but who really knows who may be reading and not joining in on the conversation (BTW if there is anyone doing that I'm sure Lisa would love to hear from you also as it is a public blog thread.)
Your new Vegan eating sounds interesting. What are you doing with your daughter's food (seems unbelievable that she is 8...they grow so fast? Does she go along with you? I always found it hard to do separate eating plans so we generally followed the same eating except the portions were different, but I don't think anyone would have given up meat, eggs, and milk. What are you doing for protein? I would have to admit I haven't looked into that way of eating very thoroughly. I do understand the need for changes in eating though and wish you great success in the journey.
Paula

Edited by: PMSLIVES at: 7/29/2014 (14:39)
Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7

In GOD we trust

"It is when people forget God that tyrants forge their chains " -
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7/29/14 6:16 A

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Dearest Paula,
So sorry to hear about your mom. What a big loss. My prayers are with you.
Apologies that I have not checked in more!
I had stated posts here thinking it was a very public blog, but it turned into our private conversation, and I'm so grateful for our communications!
Lisa

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” - Ursula K. Le Guin lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/ lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/


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7/27/14 6:09 P

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My Vegan Journey

Sunday, July 27, 2014
I always try to accept myself as I am. Part of being myself is being a middle aged fat woman, a yoga teacher, and art teacher, and a mom. I have concerns about a recent weight gain, about being a good role model to my daughter, about negative comments I've received, about the concern shown to me by people who care about me.

So, to address these concerns, I became willing to change the way I was eating. Through a process that slightly escapes my consciousness, I found myself buying junk food out at restaurants and grocery stores. I put it in my body and somehow deceived myself into thinking this would make me happy. It did not, but I still repeated the process.

WEEK ONE July 20 - July 26, 2014

I started to listen to my body, and notice how I felt after I ate different foods. After a week, I noticed that foods with meat and dairy left me feeling full of remorse; foods from plants left me feeling energized.

I started to read abundant literature on the benefits of a diet free of animal products, a vegan food plan. I was concerned that if I kept white flour, white sugar, or corn syrup in my house, I would slip into an unhealthy spiral of poor food choices.

I created a plan and a food list. I took a day to clean out my pantry of any sugar or animal products.. I read expiration dates, and was surprised I had a few things that actually expired. I discarded those. I packed up everything that was left into two categories; unopened items for donation to a food pantry, and opened items. The town food bank was so grateful for the donation; I felt wealthy and proud I had items to share. Fortunately, this was a day my eight year old daughter was going to visit her father, so I put all of her sugary candy in a bag, asked her to bring it with her to her dad's place, or do what she wanted with it, but warned her I would throw it away if it came back in the house, as it is not healthy for me. She seemed to understand, and brought her small bag to her dad's willingly enough. I baked her cupcakes and cookies from mixes I found; I let her and her dad have some of those, too. Ok, I ended up sampling one of each of them, and they were delicious going down, but I did not feel energized afterward, I only felt guilty. I gave her dad the items that had white sugar or flour that had been opened. I felt emotionally lighter.

I went out to eat that night, but found the willingness to try a local health food store for the first time. I was dismayed that their kitchen was closed, but happy they had hummus wraps and side salads. I gobbled down one of each. It was delicious! While I was out at a party, I had a serving of corn chips. I had more energy than usual.

The next day, I went through my fridge. I was again surprised to find expired items, but threw them away. I put aside bags of food not on my plan, and washed my refrigerator clean. I put only the items on my plan back in, and gave away all the other unopened items. I washed a lot of leftover containers!

I went out to eat again, having checked the website of the place for their menu and making a plan. I made a reservation, and commented that I needed to know the vegan options on the menu. Upon arrival, I asked the waitress what vegans typically ordered there, and she replied exactly what I had planned to order: roasted vegetable sandwich, no cheese. They even had a pita for me instead of bread! I also had another side salad, with another balsamic vinagrette dressing, and some spicy cajun fries. I am not typically up late at night, but I was perky later than usual. I stopped by a party and had a handful of tortilla chips with salsa, and a bowl of fresh fruit. I felt phenomenal!

I am glad I made so much room in my cabinets and refrigerator for my healthy lifestyle! I can't wait to go start the next week!

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” - Ursula K. Le Guin lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/ lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/


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2/12/14 2:33 P

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Hi Lisa,
Nice to know I was thought of (I don't think you meant Sparkpeople, but maybe, though the rest of your post would suggest not). It sounds like you have found a niche that you feel comfortable in. I'm glad to hear that. Is Sarah attending the same school? She must be growing up and I hope doing well and bringing you happiness also.
I have seen that story before while looking through sites, but it has been a while thanks for sharing it again. I suspect that Little Tommy should have been spelled Tommie (the more feminine spelling) and referred to as she instead of he in the article for 2 reasons. Females tend to be much more friendly and stick around the males can get nasty and tend to want released when they reach sexual maturity. And that little one looked old enough to have reached that and I see no evidence of that. I watched a video the other night of a guy that had a squirrel that he thought was a male. He had it several years and then it died. He missed it so badly that he wanted another and eventually got one. It was then he realized that his first was a female. The young ones can be deceptive if you don't know what you are looking for. We made the same mistake, but a male is very much different and you can tell the difference. (probably more information than you wanted)
Lucky is still with us and will soon be 6 years old. She is doing well and always a source of fun for us when we take her out...she seems to love to meet new people.
Jeep is still around also. She is getting old and has her problems, but is as pretty as ever.
The biggest thing to have happen this year is that my mom passed away in January. I keep having waves of grief...well really it is just missing her. I talk to her like I did my dad to get through it. I like to think they can still hear me in some way. My sister was there with her in the house. She wasn't sick in fact she had told me she was feeling good just the day before. She was almost 92 and went peacefully and quickly. I think her heart just stopped and she was called to her heavenly home. I like to think she just needed to be with dad for their anniversary just 3 days later.
We are trying to stay warm in this very cold winter. We had our furnace go out 2 days ago and the temps were below zero. Thankfully we have a couple of space heaters and electricity for those! We were also able to get it repaired in about an hour from call to heat! (though the low temps made it take a while to get the house comfortable).
I have put on weight also. Since I hit menopause I have had a real struggle. I still eat healthy, but sometimes too much, and my gym closed so I really don't get the exercise I need to...I won't walk on the unshoveled sidewalks mostly because it really makes my knees hurt and that moves up to my hips. My joints seem fine otherwise, but it is that uneven and slippery surface that causes the pain.
Hope we can get to losing that weight come better weather. I miss my bike!
Paula

Edited by: PMSLIVES at: 7/29/2014 (14:35)
Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7

In GOD we trust

"It is when people forget God that tyrants forge their chains " -
Patrick Henry

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2/12/14 6:05 A

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Hi,
I thought of you today.
I am happily working at a Catholic school as an art teacher. This year is the 50th anniversary of the school. They are looking back to 1963-1964. To prepare I looked at LIFE for that time, and found the cutest squirrell pics ever!
Please see this link:
http://life.time.com/curiosities/a-squirrels-guide-to-fashion/?iid=lf%7Crelated#3
Please let me know how things are with you.
I have not been exercising as much or eating as healthfully. I have been gaining.
Lisa

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” - Ursula K. Le Guin lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/ lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/


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7/27/13 10:07 A

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Hi,
Sorry to hear about your squirrell Lulu.
I had a great interview with a Catholic school for art teacher job, am negotiating contract, not signed yet.
I teach 2nd and 3rd grade Sunday School, and my daughter is going from 2nd into 3rd, so we'll be together another year. I offered to help out with preschoolers instead but was told to stay put. Its not bad with maybe 12 kids at most, 2 adults, 2 teen volunteers. They are all good kids. Sarah is proud that her mom is a teacher, loves her mom, was occasionally upset when other kids got my attention but that is part of it, for her to get used to. I've seen it work for some but not for others. I am not allowed to substitute teach at her school. One time they were desperate and overrid the rule, I substitute taught another class at her school, and her teacher refused to have lunch with me, in protest.
I am trying Phentermine at my primary care physician's suggestion and have more energy and less appetite. I got a gift certificate for a spa I had not used since my brithday in October, finally went yesterday to get haircut (bob), blow dry, manicure and pedicure. This was an upscale salon and I felt pampered. I had a friend take some photos of me last night, they will be photoshopped then maybe I'll post them here when I get them back...
I hope you are enjoying your summer.

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” - Ursula K. Le Guin lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/ lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/


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6/10/13 2:33 P

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Hi there, Lisa,
So surprised to see your journal pop up in my email this morning. I'm glad you had a long term sub job this spring. At least you knew what you would be doing for a while and build on some stability. Some of the ladies I know that sub say it is a very difficult job especially when it is a day to day thing.
I understand the language thing with your girl. My grand daughter started Pre school this year and just thinks some words are sooo funny! It really puts a parent in a hard place. Do I make a big deal of it and punish this? explain it? How do you handle it? It seems that when she gets attention about it (and of coarse the first time they say something our own reaction can be the key to how they will react later.) often we laugh out of shock that our kid just said that. In her case it is not a swear word, but one you don't want them saying repeatedly ...as she likes to do, and then giggle after saying it. The giggling can make one laugh and then they seem to have the upper hand!! I don't really remember having too much problem with it until the kids started riding the school bus. By then they knew better not to repeat much of what they heard.
Our dog is really doing well. She will probably have some problems when the weather gets much hotter, as she does have a black coat and gets so hot. She pants so hard then and at her age I don't think her heart is as efficient as it should be. She loves to go for walks and looks so dejected when we go for bike rides instead as she can't go then...I feel so bad about that. I try to take a collapsible bowl when we walk, but she won't drink on walks. She also starts walking fine, but she will start to limp some after a while so we don't go as far with her as we used to. Lucky loves walks and bike rides, but of course she just does the shoulder thing and if it is too hot she "splats" on my husband's shoulder.
We have released the 2 young squirrels we had over the winter. So far so good, but the last one was just 2 days ago and she was so sweet and hasn't really returned home yet. usually they do and I had hoped she would be one that would stick close by. We'll see.
We did have a one of our release squirrels get killed in front our house just a week ago. The one we had named Lulu was a super friendly girl just 3 years old. I had seen her cross the street to our house to continue making her neighborhood rounds for food. I had put some nuts out the night before and she took one of those before I could get her something else. Unfortunately she took it back across the street. I went into the house and DH went out just a few minutes later and found her in the street. So sad I felt awful. I still feel like it is my fault, but it really looks like from where she was someone was driving too fast and possibly swerved to hit her as she was nearer the edge than most drive down this street. We knew her because she had a funny patch of fur on her back from having it been torn off her first winter, but that is another story. She was the neighborhood mooch, but very well liked and missed.
The SS classes sound like they would have been fun with a name like "Holy Moly" program. Were they for your daughter's class or not? Teaching our child's class can be difficult for both the parent and child, but it totally depends of the family.
Well, with all the internet and phone junk going on now I almost hate to say plans, but we will be traveling to see my mom soon and my DD and GD plan to come out later this year. Have fun camping!
Paula


Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7

In GOD we trust

"It is when people forget God that tyrants forge their chains " -
Patrick Henry

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6/10/13 9:21 A

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Hi,
Sorry to hear about your dad. Losing a dad is rough. Best wishes getting through Father's Day. I lost my dad many years ago.
Glad to hear your dog is doing better. How is the dog now?
My spring was ok, went by fast with a long term substitute teaching job.
Looking forward to summer, will go away camping for a weekend soon.
Daughter is well. Learning swear words at school, and learning not to say them.
I taught Sunday school this past school year and loved it, did a lot of old testament stories with "Holy Moly" program.
Please let me know how your spring was and your plans for summer.
Lisa

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” - Ursula K. Le Guin lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/ lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/


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4/4/13 1:29 P

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Hey there,
Life gets into all our lives, doesn't it? Do you find it easier to read short spurts as your last post or was it done on a phone or something?
Haven't released any squirrels. When spring gets a bit warmer we will put 2 out to start adjusting and learning.
I lost my dad to his cancer on Jan.1. He really went downhill fast his last month and I was glad I was able to be there with him and be with my mom when he passed.
Road trips have not happened yet. Weather, gas prices, work, and no place we are wanting to go have put that on hold until late spring or summer. I'm not sure how much use we really will get out of the RV. We really don't get out that much.
I hope jobs are coming your way. I do know you want one to become full time rather than wondering when the next will open up. That has to be stressful.
How is your girl? Bet she is much older than she is (meaning they want to grow up so fast) though I hope she is still a little girl and brings much happiness into your life.
My dog was sprayed by a skunk on Valentine's Day! She then had some sort of episode like a stroke about three weeks later where she started to stumble because her legs were very weak and her eyes were funny. She was in our bedroom so there she stayed on a bed she has there. She didn't eat. wasn't in pain, but couldn't get up and barely seemed to be breathing. Thought she would die in a couple of days. I sat, talked. cried, drew, and read to her. A week late the weather was nice so we carried her outside on a porch where she got some sun. The next day she was starting to eat and walked some (she had gotten up to look off the porch, also) and now several weeks later is almost normal. Seemed an amazing recovery. Though she has been limping a bit the last couple of days and I wonder how long she will be with us. She is 16 years old. Whenever she goes I hope it is quick.
Hope we both have a great spring and summer.
Paula

Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7

In GOD we trust

"It is when people forget God that tyrants forge their chains " -
Patrick Henry

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3/30/13 9:40 A

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Hi,
Sorry I have been remiss about stopping in.
Thanks for keeping in touch.
How are the squirrels? Did you release any?
I'm so happy for you and your rv, I hope you have many adventures in it.
I know folks who just drive it to a camp for a season, but so many people find the cost of gas to make it difficult.
I've always fantasized about road trips.
I have continued to teach exercise classes, and I do substitute teaching.
I have a few leads about teaching summer camp too.
I hope to find a job in the fall if not sooner.
Lisa

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” - Ursula K. Le Guin lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/ lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/


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9/27/12 3:26 P

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Hi Lisa, Just quickly stopping by to say Hi! I was just checking to see if you have been checking in. I see that you are and I'm sure you are quite busy with work and a new school year. I hope things are looking positive for you and you are being blessed. Things are fine here. We have 3 squirrels in the house now, in cages (Airiel-10 wks, Oscar-7ms, Lucky-4 1/2 yrs.). They are fun and 2 will be released in the spring, but they do make it difficult to go places for more than a day trip and we had bought a nice but older RV this summer and we haven't taken it anywhere yet. We are still in the learning curve with it, also, and now with the gas prices it seems prohibitive.
I hadn't realized that you have been with Spark since 2003. Did you have to pay for it when you started? It was before it was free wasn't it?
Hope to hear from you soon.
Paula

Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7

In GOD we trust

"It is when people forget God that tyrants forge their chains " -
Patrick Henry

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5/27/12 7:29 A

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emoticonDon't quit.



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5/22/12 2:56 P

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Hey there,
It has been a long time! I saw the Spark email title and it only showed 'Lisa's Jo... and it didn't dawn on me as to what thread it was for...sorry. I was then looking through the rest of the email and opened another one and looked at my friend feed and happened to see your name (I don't always check that feed) OH, that Lisa! (I know a couple, but not on Spark). I have thought of you several times lately. So glad you checked in!
I have been going up mostly in my weight also...it seems so much harder now to lose and really stick with the eating side...I don't feel like logging and weighing things. MY BAD! Most of my food choices are good, but I guess I am eating more than I should or perhaps not enough some days. That may be why I am staying the same at present...just can't seem to lose. I am still going to Curves and that helps. I also got my old Schwinn tuned up and am trying to ride more and walk places.
Well, you sound like a very busy girl at present. If you make good food choices and not just what you think is easiest because you are so busy I should think you could turn the weight gain around!
I know it has been a stressful year that has passed. Last year was bad for my folks in MA as well. They flooded with Irene and needed to leave for a while. Luckily they were able to find shelter with a place run by a church family, but they lost many things and it was somewhat costly. They lost electricity and heat for about a week with the early winter storm. I have been out there 3 times in the last 6 months for a total of 9 weeks. Dad has had surgery and been hospitalized 3 times first for the surgery, then for bleeding after he came home (first trip and longest) and then for cellulitis partly due to the removal of the lymph nodes that were taken out in his groin. That can affect the circulation, which at 87 can be not as good as when we are young! My sister and family are back from China and hope to stay for a while now so I shouldn't have to go as often for a while.
I have been taking care of a very antsy squirrel, Lucky (she's 4 now!). She seems to have a bladder problem and has been needing constant watching. We have another young squirrel(Oscar because he was a grouch when Bill first washed him, but a sweetheart now)) and a little chipmunk (Orack because he sucks down seeds and food so fast he keeps his cage so clean!) inside right now. We have a couple of black male squirrels (Amos and Andy because Amos was such A Mess when we got him and Andy because he just showed up on the tree (And He) when we went to pick up Amos (he wasn't in very good shape either) that are to be released any day now. That is such a sad time for me. We do have several females that stick around and some have even had little ones. The males, however, find their own territory and leave.
I do hope you are finding contentment and more balance in your life. Keep looking up and enjoy what time you have with Sarah this summer.
Paula

Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7

In GOD we trust

"It is when people forget God that tyrants forge their chains " -
Patrick Henry

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5/22/12 6:27 A

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Hi,
Sorry its been so long since I've written, its been a long time since I even logged in.
I went back to school again to get a teachers certificate. I can now teach art classes. I got a job as a teachers assistant for a summer art camp in town for a few hours a day for 3 weeks in the summer, in addition to teaching a few yoga classes a week and substitute teaching whatever wherever I can. I have appications in to many schools and just attended a job fair. I also have applications in for case manager and counselor positions as I have my MSW.
I am increasing my volunteer work; I lead a grief and loss support group at a church with a new minister. I help out with Sunday school at my church and assist with youth choir. I go to 2 bible studies a week. I will help my daughter's school with their art show, and reading.
Sarah finishes1st grade June 22nd. This was extended by 2 different weeks off of school due to 2 different storms. The last one was on my birthday. It was October 29th, and I was alone, outside shoveling, and all the trees around me started to snap with the weight of the heavy wet snow. We quickly lost power and heat. We got to know about shelter services and army meals in emergency rations.

That is all past us now.

I have been gaining weight.
Wishing you all the best.

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” - Ursula K. Le Guin lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/ lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/


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8/18/11 1:12 P

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Lisa, summer vacation months are about over, and I was thinking about you and wondering how you are doing. I don't write often, but I do think of you often. I hope things in your life are beginning to feel stable and you find yourself growing stronger and more powerful in your personal life and in your spiritual life.

Sarah must be getting ready for school again. Paetyn will be in second grade this year. It starts the 23rd around here. Seems to be earlier every year. Are "they" just moving toward year round school now? I'm sure that would help working families out in some ways, but not really if they give more weeks off in between quarters (or whatever they would be called. Child care stuff might get tough that way also.

Well, just wanted to let you know that I was thinking about you.

Paula



Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7

In GOD we trust

"It is when people forget God that tyrants forge their chains " -
Patrick Henry

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6/27/11 12:42 A

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Lisa, I do frequently think of you, but I am sorry I haven't taken the time to write. I'm so sorry about your marriage. It sounds like you are handling it fairly well, but I know it can't be easy. I'm sure it is rough in many ways and I hope you find the right job very soon and things start looking brighter.

I just got back from being with my parents for the last 7 weeks. I'm glad my husband was ok with it, though it was not an easy time for us. He had been on part time work until just before I went out there and the full time has been rough on him. Partly because he seems to be passing some kidney stones and it made him feel a lot of back pain. I had been having a lot of back pain myself, but it seemed to finally get better after weeks of struggling with it...funny thing was it finally got better after I sent for a book about relieving back pain. It was gone by the time the book arrived.

Several things happened while out there. I went because my dad had had surgery on his foot and had been put into a nursing home for a short time. While there Mom had a bleeding diverticuli and was put in the hospital. She needed a transfusion and was there for 5 days. then took a while to build her back up.

My oldest girls were very near the Springfield area tornado. In fact, Jes and Paetyn had just arrived home after stopping for an after school snack. They stopped and told the lady downstairs that if there was a tornado they would be back. They had barely gotten up the 4 flights of stairs when Jes looked out and calmly asked P if she wanted to see a tornado. P came out and saw it and Mom grabbed her and they ran downstairs. That thing came 2 blocks from them, lifted then ripped a tree out down at the end of their short street and landed a half block away from them again. My oldest was heading home and was practically in the middle of it. She stopped her car and covered herself with a snugglie that she had in the car. She called me several times frantic because she was having trees falling all around and couldn't get through the streets to get home and she couldn't reach her sister. After several tries, Jes finally got through on a pay phone to let her know she and P were OK. That calmed her down, but is still took her several hours to get home. (She was only a couple of blocks away at the time) It was really hard to watch the whole thing live on TV (fascinating watching it over the Conn. River), but seeing it head right toward my kids neighborhood was scary and a real test of faith for a short time.

Once again, I hope you and Sarah all the best. Paula

PS I also meant to mention I love the new pic!

Edited by: PMSLIVES at: 6/27/2011 (01:01)
Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7

In GOD we trust

"It is when people forget God that tyrants forge their chains " -
Patrick Henry

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6/22/11 5:54 A

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Hi Paula,
I hope all is well with you.
Last winter Kevin continued gambling, staying out for days on end, not calling, so I encouraged him to get recovery. Around Valentine's Day it was going well, but he left me in March, cut me off financially, refused to return, so I filed for legal separation as my only means of obtaining child support. Now he wants a divorce, so I am trying to get legal separation so I can stay on his health insurance. I have hired a good lawyer and have been denied alimony.

I continue to teach a few yoga classes a week and have taken some substitute teaching jobs for the town public school system when I am asked ,
I apply for any job for which I am qualified in the newspaper but they are few and far between. I went on an interview with many other people a few weeks ago, for which I was overqualified but would have taken it in a heartbeat, but wasn't even chosen for that one.

I miss Kevin the one that used to treat me so nicely. I hadn't seen that Kevin for quite some time. He shows up to visit Sarah. We try to be polite, I try in my heart for forgive him.

I hope all is well with you and your marriage.

Love,
Lisa

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” - Ursula K. Le Guin lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/ lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/


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12/5/10 6:24 P

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Hi,

Sorry for all the long delays in my reply; I've been busy!

How was your trip to Idaho? Three is a great age, isn't it?

The job is going well; I'm grateful. I went to the group Christmas party - it was interesting. I haven't been to a grown up party in so long!

We tried the new xbox 360 kinect dance game and I'm hooked - it has great potential as a good work out.

As I posted elsewhere, I ran a Santa Run 5k today with Kevin and Sarah(in a stroller). I'll teach a yoga class tomorrow.

How's your exercise?

My weight is up; WW changed their whole program, and I am doing baking.... yadda yadda...

Holiday Hugs,
Lisa

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” - Ursula K. Le Guin lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/ lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/


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10/13/10 11:03 P

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Lisa,

I feel badly that I didn't answer your previous post. I hope just posting it helped you work through some of your feelings. It usually helps me, but I know someone showing support in those times helps also... I'm sorry.

I do share your feelings of joy for the job. It sounds like it could be fun and the hours seem to be perfect even if only for a few months. I hope the pay helps to make ends meet or provides some needed security of rainy day savings.

I'm glad Sarah is enjoying school. That seems to be important to help get a good education. My granddaughter seems to be having some problems. Her teacher has the kids paired up and she is with someone who is not compatible with her (they either get along too well and get rambunctious or don't like to work with each other). Anyway it seems to be causing some problems for the teacher. She told her teacher she wants to be her own person. I don't think she means that she wants to be someone special, but rather that she would like to work alone. Either way she seems to be struggling and getting sad faces on her work. My daughter seems confused as to what to do.

I will be flying out to Idaho next month for a week to see my youngest, her husband, and granddaughter. She will turn 3 while I'm there. The trip will take the best part of 2 days (one to go and one to return).

Have a great day.

Paula

Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7

In GOD we trust

"It is when people forget God that tyrants forge their chains " -
Patrick Henry

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10/13/10 8:40 P

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Hi Paula,

I hope this note finds you with no more computer problems.

I have applied to the school system, and have taken a job working with special needs kids, helping them make arts and crafts and run a store in which their creations are sold for the high school.

So I will be working half days, but only the days Sarah is in school.

The job is temporary, running from November to March.

Please share in my joy over this.

Sarah is enjoying full time Kindergarten.

Hugs,
Lisa



“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” - Ursula K. Le Guin lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/ lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/


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9/19/10 6:48 A

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Hi Paula,

Belated Happy Anniversary!

39 years is such a commitment. Kevin and I went to DC for a weekend about 6 years ago as part of a school project I had on the Holocaust; we visited many museums. I hope you had a lovely time at your rally. Did you get in any site seeing? I rallied in front of the White House once, on one of many of my own trips to DC. Is that where you rallied?

Sorry to hear about the travails of the garden, glad the tomato plants are prolific.

Sorry to hear about the computer troubles. We have the one, and ours is outdated. I tried to take focus away from baking unhealthy things and eating them by finding a free online game where I pretend to bake - no calories. I loved it but soon it was too much for our old computer, and I feel so frustrated with our own computer problems. I hope yours resolve soon!

I think the magnet school is the right thing for now, but I do think it is harder to make local friends, and friends who endure, going to the next town. I regret I cannot see my own post when I reply to yours, so I am never sure if I am repeating myself; sorry if I am.

Mostly when Kevin is home I am not so good at keeping up with staying in touch with you. When he is gone I hardly sleep at all, and have more free time, time for reflection, and you really catch me at my worst times in my relationship. Of course this weekend is one of those times.

Kevin left for work Friday morning and has not been home since. He is most likely gambling. We had argued because he previously agreed to give me money to get my hair cut any time he got his hair professionally cut. Further, he wears a crew cut, and I can give him a crew cut if he wants a free one. But of course he got his hair cut professionally and didn't give me any money for mine. So I kept asking. He wants to go to the gym 5 nights a week and on Saturday, has not completed yard work, and ignores most of what I ask him for. Monday night Sarah was sick and I had to work teaching yoga class so he stayed home with her. Tuesday night was PTO/School event so he didn't go. I spoke up about wanting money for my hair cut every night. Tuesday I had an interview for a job, didn't get it, and still don't have my hair cut.

Kevin was slated to work overtime Saturday, and informed me not asked me. He informed me he wanted to go to the gym Friday night, and I said I'm having a hard time supporting the idea of you going to the gym yet again when I really want to go to a 12 step meeting for wives of gamblers, where I cannot bring Sarah. There is no daycare at the gym Friday night, so someone has to be with Sarah. My husband earns a good living, so I asked him to hire a sitter, and give me the money for the hair cut Friday. He did try to find a sitter, so I could attend the meeting but was unable to at 8pm Thursday night, probably not his best effort. Friday he called from work saying he was leaving from work to go to the gym around 4.

I suspect he planned to just stop into the casino on the way home for a little while and it got away from him because he is obsessive compulsive about gambling, as I am about food. I understand the sickness. But I don't condone the behavior. Despite his good income, he spends more than he makes and is often juggling around funds, spending or loaning against his dwindling 401k, which is also decreasing in value due to economy and less defense spending, and wreaking havok with our taxes.

I emailed him at work Saturday and he said he'd call later but never did, and still has not come home Sunday morning.

I feel really scared, lonely, and unloved.

I am so consoled that I can write about it here.

I am afraid to be financially dependent upon him, yet I am. I make about 1/10th of what he does, and am dependent on him to watch our daughter for part of that, when I teach yoga where there is no daycare.

We have months where all is relatively good and you hear none of this. But a lot of financial and emotional damage is done in a few days of overnight gambling.

I went to the Big E Friday while Kevin was at work and Sarah was at school, and it was indeed the big eat for me. I am now back on track. I exercise less when Kevin is gone, as he watches Sarah while I work out.

Sarah is up now, so I will end this with a wish for you to have a blessed day

Lisa

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” - Ursula K. Le Guin lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/ lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/


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9/10/10 4:01 P

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Lisa,

I don't know what it is with me and your page. I just lost another post. I hit something and Pffit it was gone!emoticon This is a new netbook and it makes me feel claustrophobic. My husband thought it would be all I needed, and it was OK until he did some changes and then added things on when his computer crashed, now it runs doggy! I was so far behind on my email after vacation where I decided to let things go (mostly) to visit with All my family members. Then sharing with DH where he had most of the time and later taking time off to go Glenn Beck's 8/28 Restoring Honor Rally in DC! Great time! We spent 5 days there as an anniversary trip, 39yrs. We went there for our honeymoon.

Planted a garden this summer by our church, but the rabbits and deer got most of it and the corn was good at first, but dried out due to the weather if it wasn't eaten by the deer. We do have 4 tomato plants at the house. One is extremely prolific!!

The squirrels are doing great, mostly.
Lucky is still a well traveled girl. she went to MA with us and several times lately she has been out to gather nuts with us!
Ricky and Ozzie were released on Father's Day. Ozzie came around one day after release and then took off. Ricky on the other hand still comes around every 3 days. He was treated badly at first, but held his own and seems fine.
Laverne and Shirley were released around Independence Day. Unfortunately Laverne came into heat the next day and was not ready for the chase. She died a few weeks later. Shirley, on the other hand, is doing well. She is a real tightrope walker and you often see her crossing the wires. She comes around and eats off of our hands and will take jumps from the ledge to us and climb up onto our shoulders and sit. She also seems a bit jealous of the next three.
Spanky, Darla, and Alfalfa. They were released after vacation. All are doing well and return to eat. Alfie is a runt and we left the cage open for him to return if he needed. He stuck close for several weeks, but has seemed to have found his way, also. These three show up almost nightly and sometimes in the morning. We have the friendliest squirrels in town.
We have 2 little girls about 9 weeks old that we were given at 5 weeks after a neighbor's cat probably killed the mother and they found these 2 laying on the ground. Actually the cat was batting one around. Their eyes were not even open at the time. Sunday we are to pick up one that is only about 4 weeks old. Weird how I had never seen a baby squirrel until 2 years ago and now I can't get away from them!

Paetyn is now in 1st grade. She also goes to a magnet school. Unfortunately she didn't have any kids from her kindergarten class, but she makes friends easily. She came home the second day and said she made 3 new friends.

I'm going to post now and hope I don't lose this one.

Paula

Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7

In GOD we trust

"It is when people forget God that tyrants forge their chains " -
Patrick Henry

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9/10/10 8:44 A

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Hi Paula,

We have a big fair coming up - I don't know if your family attends - its called the Big E - some of my pals call it the big eat! Anyway, we plan to attend as a family.

I keep thinking how nice it would be to meet you.

How are the squirrels?

Sarah has started Kindergarten. We applied to all day magnet schools but didnt get in, so she started at our town half day program. However, I got a call this week that she is allowed to come in to the magnet after all, so I am transferring her. Our own town gets higher scores generally, and this magnet is so new it has not been tested for scores, but my hope is that all day kindergarten will teach her more than half day. Two of her friends attend the magnet too, so she'll get to see them.

How is your lovely grand daughter doing? What grade is she in now?

Wishing you all the best for fall success!

Hugs,
Lisa

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” - Ursula K. Le Guin lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/ lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/


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9/6/10 12:42 A

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I just wrote a long message to you and lost it!!!!. I't is too late to start over so I'll leave it like this with a simple HI!
Until earlier, Paula

Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7

In GOD we trust

"It is when people forget God that tyrants forge their chains " -
Patrick Henry

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8/30/10 7:14 A

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Hi,

I'm so glad to see you accumulating your fitness minutes every time I log in!

Way to go! emoticon

I am doing ok, I have been keeping up on my exercise, but not necessarily logging it here. I log it in my WW tracker along with my food. I don't know why I didn't have success when I came in here and logged food and exercise here, but when I started counting points I lost a lot. Maybe its the in person weigh ins? I don't know. I wish I could have confidence to do it without giving WW so much money though.

I realized I've been having some weight fluctuation, but still manage to be about 10 pounds above goal all year long. I know if I can get to maintenance and stay at goal I'll spend less or nothing at WW. Yet somehow this is not enough motivator to actually do it!

I've been good about prayer and meditation. I enjoyed church yesterday with my family. Sarah was so cute, sharing with the minister about how excited she was about a birthday party she would attend after church. But it was a little embarassing, as she announced it during the service during "time for children" we do in the summer.

DH continues his patterns. I interviewed for a job this week, part time teachers assistant, but I didn't get the job. I'm glad I have my yoga teaching; one class a week now, and 3 a week in the fall. I used to teach 7 classes a week but some were cut, so I'll miss the cash. I used to work more with folks with disabilites, but that has also been cut, probably from 20 hours per month to maybe 8. I'm grateful my husband has a good job with benefits.

I hope all is well with you

Lisa

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” - Ursula K. Le Guin lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/ lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/


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4/9/10 10:35 P

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Hi,

Our crocuses have come and gone, our daffodils and narcissus are doing well. Apple trees are blooming nicely. We had weather in the 90's the other day!

That's so nice you helped the woman with the snow on her car.

It's back to the 50's for weather. We do have one space heater we try to point at Sarah if she'll stay still. She is in bed now.

Easter with her was lovely; sorry I didn't take a picture. We'd probably go out for a meal if it was just the 2 of us, but it was so fun to make the basket for sarah, who believes in the easter bunny! We hand drew our eggs with markers and smashed them against eachother. We went to church, got mom, had ham dinner, took her home, went to Sarah's friend's birthday party/easter egg hunt, went home and almost collapsed (we went out the night before too).

whew I'm tired just thinking about it.

I don't know how much I told you about the heat recently; a guy agreed to do it in a few weeks and then suddenly called and cancelled. I hope to find someone soon!

Glad your water problem is resolved now, it gives me hope...

Lisa

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” - Ursula K. Le Guin lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/ lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/


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3/26/10 2:32 P

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Good to hear from you, Lisa.
I understand the frustration with the heat. Our water was down to a trickle come Christmas time and a shower consisted of filling a bucket with water, using a bowl to scoop it out, and use it a little at a time until you could finish by pouring the rest over for the final rinse. An outside pipe (galvanized) had corroded and then developed a hole so we needed it replaced. While they were checking that over they discovered that where we tied into the street was bad also so they called the street department to fix their end. That took an extra day so we needed to get a supply of water in buckets and heat water on the stove...fun, fun...much like your "camping". We were having some furnace problems at the time also so I baked bread, made soup, and heated water on the stove which actually helped. I was glad we didn't have little ones at home as it would have been much harder to deal with. As it turned out, I had to use my dwindling savings to help pay the bill also, but we needed to pay the bill or get hit with interest payments. So I do understand how you feel.
Today is a beautiful sunny day, but still chilly. The sun is melting the wet heavy snow that came down last evening. It really was so pretty, but I hope it didn't mess up the crocuses as they were so pretty, too.
I went to the store last evening during the heaviest part of the falling snow. You could hardly clean your car off before you had to do it again. I pulled into a space and a young woman got into her car about the time I got out. Her car was plastered with snow so I grabbed my snow brush and wiped her windows clean. She was surprised and dumbfounded.

I love the picture of the green teeth! Such blond hair Sarah has. She really is growing up.

We got three little baby squirrels yesterday (very possibly only around 5 days old, we found one still had a tiny stump of an umbilical cord.) You may have seen their picture on my page.
Sorry your shoulder is giving you problems. Don't over do it, but keep it moving as gently as you can.
I'm still struggling with my weight. It was doing some downward movement when I got sick, but when I take medication it seems to have a bad effect on me.

No, I really don't have plans for Easter. No big family things anyway. Church has a breakfast thing and our church is in charge of the Good Friday services for the ministerial association's town service next Friday.

Have a great Spring Day!

Paula

Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7

In GOD we trust

"It is when people forget God that tyrants forge their chains " -
Patrick Henry

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3/26/10 7:01 A

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Hi,

Thanks for sharing all those great pictures of your squirrells! Love it!

Sorry it took me so long to reply to this one, I've been remiss in my correspondence AND journaling!

Winter wasn't so bad, but we had problems with our heat all winter working inefficiently. A week and a half ago our entire radiant system went for good and needs replacement. I got some quotes and went with the one who my friends knew who did these types of houses before (converting from radiant heat to hot water fed radiators). In another week we should have the new system installed. I am peeved that DH is making me pay for this from my own dwindling savings rather than his income. I am grateful for the roof above us, and any spring weather that heats our house during the day. It feels a bit like camping. I'm grateful that our heat didn't go for good during the dead of winter.

I'm still teaching yoga and senior fitness. I sprained my shoulder almost a month ago and it hasn't gotten any better (probably due to classes I teach, I have no sub). So I try to be grateful for the rest of my body being so healthy.

My weight is up a pound or so, probably due to exercising less, due to injury, but otherwise I have pretty healthy habits.

What are your plans for Easter?

Lisa

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” - Ursula K. Le Guin lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/ lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/


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2/26/10 1:12 A

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Lisa, so sorry I have been so absent in writing. I see you are still teaching Yoga. Good for you. I've been sick for the last week and the cough I have seems to be lingering and making me feel miserable. Strange how when you can't talk you have more people call you on the phone than usual. People can hardly hear me!
My life has been rather boring lately and I guess that is why I haven't written lately. When everything seems same old/same old it is hard think of what to write.
We have really had the snow this year, but most of the time the weather isn't too bad, but the overcast weather does kind of get me depressed. How has your weather been this winter? My folks have really been lucky this year until today. Up until now it has only been a dusting for them during each storm and Dad has had it pretty easy. Today was heavy snow and took him 3 hours to clear and Mom gets so nervous with him out there.
Sorry I don't have a picture of the costume downloaded.
Hope this finds you and your family doing well.
Paula

Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7

In GOD we trust

"It is when people forget God that tyrants forge their chains " -
Patrick Henry

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11/13/09 7:32 A

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Hi,

Do you have a copy of the picture of the costume? I'd love to see it!

My birthday was ok, thanks, DH gave me a card with a cardboard cake. I'm sure he was just trying to support my weight loss efforts. I'm trying still to release resentment over a birthday where nobody sings happy birthday and there is no cake. So I'll make sure I sing to Sarah, whose party is 11/28/09 at 12:30, and Kevin, whose actual birthday is 11/28/09, in the evening, with cake of course. And I'll sing to Sarah again 11/30/09 at both of her schools if they let me. They have all kinds of rules against food goodies at schools I can't believe it.

Sorry I'm so slow at uploading halloween pics - maybe by Christmas I'll have them up...

Lisa

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” - Ursula K. Le Guin lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/ lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/


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10/30/09 3:34 P

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emoticonHappy belated Birthday, Lisa! emoticon
I meant to write yesterday with my wishes, but you know how it goes I'm sure. I hope you had a special day or atleast made plans for one coming up. Remember it is the thought.

I got a call last night from my Granddaughter and her Auntie. They were both excited because P had won the costume contest at the mall. C had made her avery elaborate peacock costume. I guess her picture will be in the Springfield paper today.

I've had a head cold this past week and haven't worked out at all except for walking a few times. I think I will go out and rack a few leaves now.

Once again...Happy Birthday! Belatedly.
Paula

Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7

In GOD we trust

"It is when people forget God that tyrants forge their chains " -
Patrick Henry

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10/26/09 6:35 A

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Hi,

Congrats on the new baby squirrells!

I'm happy for you.

I remember you saying what a conversation piece the older ones are when you take them for walks; I can only imagine!

Sorry to hear about the weight. Its such a struggle. I've been baking and going out to eat and the results are apparent, even though I spend quite a bit of time exercising. I've been recovering from a foot sprain too, but it is healing.

Sarah has been to two birthday parties in the past year, and yesterday she had two more, not only on the same day, but 100 miles apart! Her best friend in preschool had a birthday in town, and her neice by DH had a birthday at Monster Golf in Rhode Island! It was fun, but tiring.

Then, Sunday, no rest for us, we were up early to pick up DH's mother and we went to her sister's grave, out for donuts, to Polish Catholic mass (my first), and out for a lunch at a Greek diner.

So I've been busy, and am happy for my hectic but regular monday routine of two preschools for Sarah, and I teach yoga tonight too.

I hope you're rested!

Hugs,
Lisa
emoticon

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” - Ursula K. Le Guin lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/ lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/


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10/22/09 12:51 P

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Sorry I didn't anwser last time. I'm still having trouble with the site. We have 2 new little girl squirrels about 12 weeks old. They still are nursing, though that should stop soon. They just came up on the porch and we took them in. Mom is either dead or left them on their own to put away stuff for winter. The squirrels are very busy, it looks like it could be a hard winter. These 2 are the sweetest things. They haven't even tried to bite us since the second day we have had them and it has been 4 weeks now. They are very healthy and so soft. The boys are doing good and thier big cage is almost done. They should love that once they are used to it. Lucky is still our sweet heart and doing well.
I have been putting on weight and it is getting soooo Frustrating. I'm almost back to where I was when I started Spark, though not as high as I have been. I really need to buckle down, however, I am somewhat confused as to which way to turn. I thought about doing the meal plans here, but with the problems I have been having here and just looking at them just didn't seem to be doable...one substitute said I could have a teaspoon of soy sauce instead of blueberries???
Ok the site is bugging me now. Hope you have a blessed day!
Paula

Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7

In GOD we trust

"It is when people forget God that tyrants forge their chains " -
Patrick Henry

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10/22/09 6:56 A

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hi

I've been doing a lot of baking lately, including amish bread, where I received a starter in july and have been baking every 10 days then refreshing the starter. anyway, it was getting to the point where friends and family were getting really used to it, it wasn't special anymore, even though its quite delicious. So I decided to stop once and for all, give away and bake the only starter I had left, and go cold turkey.

That was yesterday and I'm doing ok. I have other baking ingredients in the home, and am contemplating whether I want to keep them to bake over the holidays or give them away entirely and give it up. Inevitably some of the baking ends up on my waist and tush and scale. But I love to be generous with those I care about, and have no other "craft" type skills beyond baking.

I'm glad for today I'm on the right track.

Lisa

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” - Ursula K. Le Guin lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/ lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/


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9/13/09 6:02 P

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Hi,

Thanks for getting back to me. Glad you had a good vacation! When will those hubbies ever listen? Glad Ricky is back in the fold of your tender loving care.
What else is new?
Lisa

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” - Ursula K. Le Guin lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/ lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/


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8/26/09 9:00 P

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Hi Lisa,

Wow, it's been a month since I last wrote.
We had a good vacation after a shakey start. We lost one of the baby squirrels. Yup! Hubby wanted to take them and I didn't. He also wanted to take both of the large cages. (this and the dog!) Well after working hard to get them both into our truck back,it seemed imposible and to still have room for luggage. So he decided to fix the largest for all three. He then went to reach for the little ones without really thinking and Ricky slipped past the hand and through the door of the cage, out he ran and into the open garage! Yikes, wewouldn't beable to get him now. Way too big and sooo many places to go. I wanted to just leave a window open and let him do what he wanted to do...live on his own, but no my hubby just got frustrated and wanted to leave him water and food and let him stay in there. We'd call our son and tell him to replenish things and see if he could use the Have-a-heart trap to catch him. Well, he survived the time we were gone, but was still loose. It took two days to catch him. the first day we did it DH's way, the next I told himto put ozzie out in the smallcage. I gave him some nuts to munch on and we set the H-a-h trap next to the cage. Ricky was caught in less than 10 minutes.

Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7

In GOD we trust

"It is when people forget God that tyrants forge their chains " -
Patrick Henry

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8/26/09 2:37 P

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Hi,

How are you keeping busy now that summer is drawing to a close? Its a hot sunny day here and we packed up to go to the local swimming hole but Sarah is having battle dont want lunch, so we'll leave when she is done, if she finishes before adult swim.

What are your plans for labor day?

We usually go up to the Berkshires for the weekend, but it was so expensive to stay up there, so I suggested just a day trip this year.

This weekend we have my working friday night and saturday morning, church event in the afternoon into dinner potluck (God help me) then maybe the drivein movies, Sunday church, maybe visit my mom.

I'm wishing you everything wonderful!

Hugs,
Lisa

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” - Ursula K. Le Guin lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/ lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/


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8/6/09 7:20 A

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Hi,

Thanks for getting back to me.

Glad 4th was great! those pics and video were awesome!

Please don't sweat any spelling errors - I know you're struggling with this site and hope you hang around.

Have a lovely visit with family!

Lisa

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” - Ursula K. Le Guin lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/ lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/


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7/26/09 8:05 P

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www.bucyrustelegraphforum.com/apps/pbcs.dl
l/gallery?Avis=B6&Dato=20090705&Katego
ri=PHOTOGALLERIES&Lopenr=907050801&Ref=PH


This is a link to the fireworks. I had trouble with the 2 previous posts, hence the misspelled words and repeats of thoughts. (thought I lost the first, but found it entered. It just returned me to a blank message page instead if going back to the posted message.)

This a link to one of the baby squirrels videos that my husband has posted.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=C7rNfpiRSMk

Edited by: PMSLIVES at: 7/26/2009 (21:06)
Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7

In GOD we trust

"It is when people forget God that tyrants forge their chains " -
Patrick Henry

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7/26/09 2:48 P

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Lisa, it is the whole site. Just lost a post and aughhhh! I'm sporry I didn't send any more later about the 4th. We had fireworks on Sunday night and they were just beautiful. I think it was the most lovey small town display I've seen. No big gaps and the weather was beautiful. I'll check and see if the neighboring paper has the pics someone posted and send the link. We had gone to 2 TEA parties on the 4th (Taxed Enough Already/TEA) They were rather subdued events, but they are something I believe in.
I felt sort of silly in a way as I dressed up in Colonial dress, just because I had it and it fit the bill for the day. Part of the time I sat with an older gentalman who was dressed up in a colonial military outfit. We take Lucky (our squirrel) with us and put her in a cage with a sign that says ACORN Detector. People get a kick out of that and love to see her and we have some pretty good conversations..

Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7

In GOD we trust

"It is when people forget God that tyrants forge their chains " -
Patrick Henry

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7/26/09 2:34 P

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Lisa, thanks for the goodie. I am having problems with the whole site (still). I am persistant to keep trying but not always consistant to write as I should.
I'll be heading out your way this week, atleast through your general way, to Mass. again to see family.
Let's see...4th of July...We watched fireworks at son's IL's. I itched for days after. It has been a rather cool summer. Well actually very comfortable.
Our town had fireworks on Sunday and they were just beautiful...perfectlly timed with no big gaps in the show. The weather was beautiful. l sked

Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7

In GOD we trust

"It is when people forget God that tyrants forge their chains " -
Patrick Henry

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7/26/09 6:58 A

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Hi,

Sorry to hear you're having trouble. Is it with my journal or the entire SP site?

Your post came through fine.

I look forward to staying in touch with you!

Lisa

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” - Ursula K. Le Guin lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/ lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/


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7/8/09 11:58 A

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Just to lett you know, I am here, but am having lots of trouble with the site. Not sure if this will even post when it comes to doing it. Think I'll try this and if you get nothing further you'll know why.

Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7

In GOD we trust

"It is when people forget God that tyrants forge their chains " -
Patrick Henry

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7/8/09 7:08 A

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Hi,

I hope your summer is going well.

Hubby went to a meeting last week for the gambling which gives me hope.

We went camping last weekend and got along mostly well, but my food was very unhealthy. I am back on track since coming back from camping.

Yesterday was the 18th anniversary of my dad's death. I always say I don't want to remember that day, but I always end up with his loss on my mind all day. I'm grateful that my food was on track.

Yesterday was also my daughter Sarah's first time doing a 2 hour day camp at a park in town. She met up with one of her friends there and had fun. We went for a nice walk and rented the second Ice Age movie, gearing up to see the third Ice Age movie soon.

Today we will go back to her camp, to the library, and to a town concert.

I hope you had a lovely 4th of July and tell me all about it!

Hugs,
Lisa

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” - Ursula K. Le Guin lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/ lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/


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5/15/09 9:14 A

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Hi,

I'm glad you got to see your son and family for mother's day. Sorry to hear about the dogs.

And a 5 pound weight loss to boot! GREAT!

I struggle with my weight - its been up above goal pretty much since August, worse since CHristmas, and I ate too much on Mother's Day, and now I vow to find a healthier way to celebrate.

I was very sick Monday night. My husband stayed out all night Tuesday night gambling. He said he's so resentful against me that its too much to care for me when I'm sick, but I'm afraid Sarah suffers. DH and I fought last night and I ate too much last night again. Today I hope Im back on track.

Sarah is sweet and cute, as I'm sure any mom will attest about their daughter. She got a haircut. My husband bought a camera but said I can't use it. Sorry I have no pic. Trust me its cute.

She is finishing up preschool for 3 year olds, and accepted into a 4 year old program. We are still working on potty training at 3 1/2. I have her signed up for a few swim lessons and day camps in the summer.

I was teaching about 8 classes a week. I like the money but it seemed like a lot. I had 2 taken away from me due to decreased attendance. A few will end because of summer, but I'm sure I'll still teach 1 or 2 a week through the summer, and maybe pick a few more up in the fall.

Thanks for asking.

Let me know how Curves goes! I'm so glad you're getting your walking in, and caring for the squirrels!

Lisa

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” - Ursula K. Le Guin lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/ lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/


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5/14/09 10:39 P

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Hi, Lisa, sorry I have been so neglectful in writing. Mother's Day was so-so for me. I did get calls from the kids. My youngest sent an Email note with her little one's first drawing attached. It was really just scribbles, but then I wouldn't expect much from an 18 month old. My son and his wife came over in the afternoon and brought flowers and a extra large bar of Dark Chocolate, but I had to put that away as I had decided to try to get this gain under control again. I had reached 189.5 when was weighed in at Curves to take a class on their newest diet. Well, I really was confused by it and though everyone said how easy it was I didn't find that it was very balanced and they seemed to want you to buy their supplements to get what you needed. I wrote a blog on it if your want a little more on it. So I have been doing my thing and have cut down to 1200 calories for this week and I will give part of their idea a try and add a couple hundred calories more next week. I have dropped about 5 pounds this week (on their scale).
My husband and I have been walking together in the evening. He loves to take Lucky for a walk on his shoulder. People stop us all the time to see the squirrel. Most say "Wow, that's not something you see everyday." I've wanted to go into the pizza places and ask if I can show them something they don't see everyday if they will give us a pizza, but I'm not that brazen. (It might work though...maybe a for a slice.)
We had to put our 18 year old dog to sleep last evening. He had a stroke that afternoon and we just couldn't bear to watch him go further down hill. He was struggling to walk and just seemed so out of it. We'll miss old Toby, but I am more concerned for Jeep, our other dog. She has never been without him. So far she seems OK. We are trying to fill up her days with more attention. Tonight we took her on our walk. We hadn't been able to take her walking much as Toby would have to go also and he had a crippled leg due to a car hitting him when he was a puppy. (one leg was shorter than the others and had gotten very arthritic.)
Did I tell you we have some young squirrels. About 3 weeks ago we were called and went to pick up some 10 week olds that had been in the sofit of one of Bill's co-workers. They had been starving as mom couldn't feed them enough. All of them have various stages of hair loss. The female, Harriet, is bald! except for her head, feet, and tail. They look so strange, but they are getting so strong and seem to be doing very well. I just hope they will get their hair back. We want very much to release these back into the wild.
Not much else going on here. I hope you are doing well and that Sarah is growing prettier and sweeter everyday. I hope your husband is doing better and things are working out between you.
How is the teaching going? Are you still struggling with your weight also. I hope not, but then we are only human.
Paula


Edited by: PMSLIVES at: 5/15/2009 (11:59)
Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7

In GOD we trust

"It is when people forget God that tyrants forge their chains " -
Patrick Henry

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5/14/09 8:00 P

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Hi,

I see you're doing well with your exercise! Keep up the good work!

I don't track mine much here, but you inspired me to start doing more of that!

I ran a 5k for breast cancer research, then walked a 4k on Saturday. My mother's day was pretty nice. How was yours?

Lisa

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” - Ursula K. Le Guin lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/ lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/


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4/6/09 9:12 A

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Hi,

I also had a friend who died in the last few weeks at 63.

Lisa

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” - Ursula K. Le Guin lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/ lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/


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4/6/09 9:11 A

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Hi,

Thanks so much for your lovely message.

I apologize for the time its taken for me to reply. Good news is that I got through St. Patrick's Day and am preparing for a blessed Easter.

I love your descriptions of the scenes you saw while flying. I love that patchwork quilt we see from the sky when we fly.

I love that spring is here.

Of course Hubby and I are not getting along; sleeping in separate beds. We went to marriage counseling with minister until last week when he called me a F'ing B****. Then I let him alone to cool off while I visited my mom on her first day home from hospital, and he took off to gamble at casino again. I asked him to let the minister know if he doesn't want to go back.

Kevin has been working overtime, and I asked that he set aside money for family outings and time for repairs around the house in exchange.

On a positive note, he did repair some paint/drywall paper damage from rain damage we had when roof leaked and he forbade me to get it fixed. Leak is now fixed too, by my own efforts not his.

We took Sarah to her first Saturday night out at movies. We found a family owned second run theater that played "Coraline."

I don't know if I told you, but I found out a friend of mine died in November. She was 38, I was her bridesmaid when she got married. She left behind 2 daughters. I've told DH I'd like to go to her gravesite an hour away, and he said he'd like to go too. I know a nice park nearby for picnic lunch.

We may go camping this summer. I have a lot of work as a teacher of fitness, but most will be on hold for summer.

I hope things are going well for you at home.

Lisa

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” - Ursula K. Le Guin lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/ lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/


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3/14/09 2:40 P

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Hi, I've been thinking about you, so it is nice to see your post. I was thinking I should touch base.
I have been home since late last Wednesday. It was a beautiful day to fly. I love seeing the ground and the changes from the different parts of the country. The grays, beiges, whites, and dark greens along with the frozen ponds and rivers and roads "sew" a lovely patchwork "crazy" quilt to see over New York and New England. Then as you progress over other states (this case NJ and Maryland) the colors change to more browns and less white. The sun made some very interesting designs through the leafless trees as it caused shadows of straight lines laying on the ground next to the trees making a hounds tooth sort of pattern. It was also cool to see how small everything gets from so high. I saw a little blue shape below me that looked like a pushpin in a bulletin board and finally recognized it as a water tower. The mountains and rivers in West Virginia were absolutely amazing! I couldn't believe the "texture" they had! There were two different looks to them. You could see no end to the mountain range as it drew itself through the country. Some mountains you could tell were a tall range and then there were several strips of more hilly ranges with softer curves and almost a look of crushed velvet. Then the twists and turns of the rivers going back and forth (especially through two of the mountain ranges) was like an embroidered thread tying things together. Over Ohio the "quilt"
starts to take on more yellows and browns and more of a square patch feeling. (Ohio was divided into "mile" plots for purposes of schools early on. Many of the rural roads have old one room school buildings, in various crumbled conditions, at the determined mile markings.) Over the cities it is a wonderful variation of "textures". I was so happy it was a clear day to fly!
It was great to get back to Bill, the dogs, and Lucky. I was afraid she wouldn't remember me and wouldn't want me around. (We have been told that squirrels will only go to one person after awhile. Well that seems to be wrong. She was fine with me. Bill had a small cage and brought her to the airport when he came (even inside. You should have seen some of the looks).

Not much has happened since my return home. Things for me have returned to pretty much my normal boring life. I need to go wash my dogs as for once they seem to be in a slow shed cycle and the hair won't be such a problem in the tub. I hate doing it but it must be done and I think it is pretty good exercise! HA!HA! If that tells you anything!

My mom and dad seem to be getting by alright for now. I hope Spring comes early (it is only a week by the calendar, Yeah!). Bad weather bothers me for them and complicates things.

I hope that things can work out for you. I do understand trust issues. It is hard to get there sometimes even in better circumstances. God is all we really can have faith in, as humans are just that...HUMAN! We all have our failures and shortcomings and we all deal with them differently when it comes to others and ourselves.

Have a great day anyway!

Paula



Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7

In GOD we trust

"It is when people forget God that tyrants forge their chains " -
Patrick Henry

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3/14/09 8:18 A

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Hi,

I am something of an insomniac and am frequently happy internet is available at odd hours when I would never call anyone on the phone. Yes, the time is right...

Thanks again for being there!

Kevin has not gambled to my knowlege lately but I have asked he come clean with all his spending and I was shocked at how much of his own money he's gone through. He says he doesn't have a gambling problem, but has gone through half of his life savings at least. Maybe if he goes through ALL of it he'll admit his problem, I don't know. But its a problem with me, a barrier to trust.

Sometimes he tries and sometimes he doesn't try to get along. he does a lot of things with me half way.

Are you sill with your folks? Or back with your husband?

Lisa

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” - Ursula K. Le Guin lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/ lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/


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2/10/09 1:23 P

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Lisa,
If the time on your entry is right, it was a very late night for you. I hope you have found some peace with the comeing of morning. My thoughts are with you.
Hugs,
Paula

Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7

In GOD we trust

"It is when people forget God that tyrants forge their chains " -
Patrick Henry

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2/10/09 3:14 A

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Hi,

THanks again for your kinds words and for giving me an emotionally safe place to discuss what is going on.

I hope in time things will look better.

Hugs
Lisa

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” - Ursula K. Le Guin lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/ lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/


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2/7/09 6:15 P

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I can understand your feelings of wanting to get away. I think I've told you how when I was much younger and the kids were little how stuck I felt. I got so angry one time that I took off and walked and got down the street and just sobbed as I was so angry and had no place I could go. I lived in a place 700 miles from home and in a town with His family all around. I had very few friends and I didn't feel like I could just barge into their lives with my, what really was, petty problems (luckily) (sure they were frustrating me...kids, husband, money, loneliness, but I needed to work them out and just needed some place to get away.) In those days there was no internet and phone calls were long distance and expensive. I hope things are looking better for you as time has a way of putting things into some perspective.

I'm sorry you have been having an emotional eating relapse. That is not the way to turn for many reasons (and you stated them so I won't go over them again). You know doing that is not helping you really deal with the problems. You know it is just making it worse as you then need to deal with guilt on top of the frustration and anger you are dealing with with DH. You have to be there for Sarah, she needs you! I wish I had some very wise counsel for you, but alas I'm just me. I am thinking and praying for you and the situation that God would give you the answers you seek. He does love you and watches over you. Though it is difficult to find a way to be quiet, do try to seek out a place that you can listen to Him for the peace you are seeking.

Paula

The jeans are a little looser and as for foods I'm just "trying" to eat less (not always succeeding).

Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7

In GOD we trust

"It is when people forget God that tyrants forge their chains " -
Patrick Henry

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2/4/09 7:12 A

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Hi,

I realize I am envious that you have a place to go to like visiting your parents.

No doubt you're doing lots of work there, I don't mean to minimize all your efforts.

However, I really have nowhere to go to spend a night away from DH, so I am jealous.

I try daily to lay difficulties with DH at God's feet so I don't have to carry burden around. But that has been so difficult lately.

This past week I have gone to a drivethrough Sunday and ordered really unhealthy things I used to only order when I was fat. Friday I also found a bakery thrift store that I used to frequent at my highest weight and bought bag fulls of junk junk junk and ate them while driving in the car. I even shared them with Sarah once, knowing I was contributing to bad habits for her too.

I can't go to casino with DH because it is considered enabling him. However, what I really like is the food at the casino.

I had a day of Sarah in day care Friday, so I exercised for 3 hours and then went to the casino for their buffet and ate whatever I wanted.

Last night I made my most unhealthy but loved dish, macaroni and cheese, and ate more than twice my planned portion, which is what happened last time I made it, and I made it again knowing this is a problem for me.

I gave some away to my babysitter's family who just had a death in their family, but I still have a bunch of it here.

99% of bakery goods are gone. My weight is skyrocketing as I am eating about 50% more than usual and of course some of that is junk.

My exercise continues, but I am starting to get physical pain, probably from holding stress in my body. But I think my body probably can't take gaining weight and exercising several hours a day now that I am 40.

I always think of how nice it would be to meet you but I'm not sure how to make it work. I have trouble finding time for so many things I like to do.

DH and I met with minister last night for 3rd time. DH wants me to trust him but doesn't want to earn that trust. He's not very nice to me.

He has raided his 401k for gambling money and we will be hit hard with taxes and fees. I have gone to gamanon support group and made phone calls to members, in addition to working my own OA program (though not as well as I usually do).

So I am trying to follow gamanon suggestions, along with OA suggestions, despite all that I'm going through. I'm trying to lay this all at God's feet.

I had a lovely tea party with Sarah last night. She continues to be a joy.

Best wishes on all your goals. Are you able to get the foods you need while staying with your folks? How are those jeans fitting?

Lisa

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” - Ursula K. Le Guin lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/ lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/


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1/25/09 6:00 P

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Hi, thanks for the kind thoughts. Who knows if I'm out here for a while maybe we will meet someday.
You'll get it together and make it mesh, you're a smart ambitious young woman and I know you can do it. Look how far you have already come. You have struggles going on in your life. Try to leave them with God and trust Him to guide you through including what you want and need to eat.
Hugs back,
Paula


Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7

In GOD we trust

"It is when people forget God that tyrants forge their chains " -
Patrick Henry

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1/25/09 5:52 P

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Hi,

Sounds like you're really busy!

I hope for much healing for your dad...

Glad those clothes are getting loser...

Mine are not, they're getting tighter. I'm so embarassed as a fitness instructor.

We fight etc, but surviving.

Wishing you all the best!

Hugs,
Lisa

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” - Ursula K. Le Guin lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/ lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/


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1/24/09 3:40 P

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Hi Lisa, Just a short note. Things at my folks is going just OK. They got the pathology report on dad's toe and it is cancer. It isn't healing well and he had a PET scan the other day to see if it has spread. Now we wait to see the Doc on that. I may be here for a long time as they can't take care of themselves very well now.
Sorry to hear of the problems with your husband. If you don't mind me saying...he sounds very troubled and immature. I hope things work out in the best way for Sarah and yourself.
My weight is somewhat down, but the scale is hard to tell by. My clothes fit looser. I'm getting plenty of exercise and they really keep me running here.
Hugs to you,
Paula

Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7

In GOD we trust

"It is when people forget God that tyrants forge their chains " -
Patrick Henry

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1/14/09 7:43 A

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Hi Paula,

I'm glad you traveled safely.

My weight is slowly taking a decrease, but I still need to lose 6 lbs by the end of the month or face paying at WW.

My husband and I argued Monday night. I got home from work and he took off, saying he'd be home Tuesday night. I called him Tuesday afternoon 3 times but got no answer, left messages, got no reply, emailed, no answer.

His brother is travelling for a few weeks to the Phillipines, and I suspect DH is staying either there or at the nearby casino. Its hard to tell with him incommunicado.

It has been peaceful here but of course more work for me. Sarah is well.

I hope you and your family are well!

Lisa

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” - Ursula K. Le Guin lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/ lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/


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1/8/09 8:18 P

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Happy New Year to you also. I do happen to be in Mass. I flew in yesterday and boy are my arms tired (old joke, LOL). Luckily, my flight was later in the day and though it was sloppy it wasn't all ice. Dad's surgery is tomorrow and I don't have much time on Spark so this will be short.
We both can't be looking for food to fill the economic gap the country is feeling. I do understand the pants that don't fit. I had to buy a couple of pairs a size larger as mine weren't fitting very comfortably. I ordered them and hoped they fit and they did well enough, but I really need to buckle down and lose.
I enjoyed the new pictures. Sarah sure is a little blondie and so cute...And big! It was nice to see you doing some of those yoga poses as well.
Take care. I have to run now.
Paula


Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7

In GOD we trust

"It is when people forget God that tyrants forge their chains " -
Patrick Henry

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1/7/09 8:50 A

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Happy New Year Paula!

Sorry to hear about your dad. Glad you got to see your son and his family.

I put up tons of decorations and really was tempted to give some to goodwill but have held on to all at DH's request.

He was off work that whole week and a half, but this time seemed to want to get along with me.

Hardest part was visiting his sister who wasn't nice to me again, hasn't been since her daughter's graduation in spring. Talked to DH about how uncomfortable that is for me AGAIN.

Subbing was a lot of work, building up lots of new routines at once, busy in an already busy season.

But now I have extra pay coming in instead of debts, so I guess its ok.

I am teaching 7 classes a week, and have no sub work lined up, which I am ok with. Economy is bad so I'm grateful for the work I have.

Gyms are closing, lots of stores closing, restaurants, etc. Friends normally employed are unemployed, or underemployed no benefits.

My weight is creeping up since xmas and I feel really self conscious. Jeans that were tight last year don't fit today.

Am stuck home today in an ice storm (glad you're not is MA for this one) but am happy for the time to reconnect with you. It hardly seems possible its been a month since I logged in to SP but its true.

All my xmas stuff is put away, daughter and DH are fine.

Please see all my new xmas and yoga photos I uploaded!

Hugs,
LIsa

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” - Ursula K. Le Guin lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/ lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/


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12/31/08 11:47 A

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Lisa,

So sorry I didn't get back to you on your long post on the 5th. I hadn't realized, but I can't say I have any excuse. I hope Christmas went well for you and that you feel blessed. Monday's fundraiser should help you feel that. I sold folded ribbon stars along with others with crafts and things, at my Curves, one weekend to help with a family they had adopted. Actually 10% was to come out of what we made, but for me it is also part of a mission project for my church so the rest of my profits went to that (it was only $20, but better than I thought.)
We really didn't do much for Christmas, I hate to say I didn't even put up a tree. We went to my son and DIL's for a meal that we shared the work for because our house is still torn up from redoing a bathroom and there are pieces of things everywhere. I thought it would also be safer for her son as there is not even a floor in the room. (And I mean NO floor, just joists and the crawl space underneath!) I just couldn't get into the mood. In the end it was actually very relieving to me to just not do it.
None of the girls could come home...and now that I think about it... the last time you wrote was the day my dad got very sick and a friend's mom died, that's probably why I didn't write back. I was making plans to head out to Mass. in a hurry if needed. That wasn't necessary though Mom would have liked it. I still am making plans to go out some time soon as Dad needs surgery on his toe, but isn't sure when yet.
How did all those classes go this last month that you were subbing for? I hope it helped to build your self-esteem. You seem like such an ambitious lady and deserve to feel good about yourself.

Wishing you, Sarah, and your husband
A Happy, Prosperous New Year!
Paula

Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7

In GOD we trust

"It is when people forget God that tyrants forge their chains " -
Patrick Henry

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12/31/08 6:42 A

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Hi Paula,

I love your holiday photo!

I hope the holidays have been good to you and that you have a great 2009!

I held a yoga benefit for our local food bank Monday night and raised over $300 for the cause!

Okay, be well!

Lisa

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” - Ursula K. Le Guin lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/ lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/


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12/5/08 7:16 A

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Hiya,

Thanks so much for writing. Sorry its been a while since I even logged in to sparkpeople.

I turned 40 just before Halloween, and DH gave me the gym membership I wanted. However, he would not pay for daycare. I was struggling with not being able to use my membership...

Halloween was grand; Sarah dressed up as a princess for the whole day; went to party at gym daycare, trick or treating at a shopping center, then in the neighborhood despite being scared by a few dogs.

Just after Halloween, a friend who teaches me aerobics recommended me as a yoga instructor at the same gym where DH got me the membership for combined birthday/anniversary gift, so now I have a free membership and daycare there, plus they pay me to teach yoga Saturdays.

I teach evening yoga at a nearby town. They hired me to teach senior fitness, as the class was almost cancelled. I agree to anything, but was upfront about how I'd never taught a class like that. I found out on a Monday night before I had to teach yoga. I went right out Monday night after teaching, got everythign the library had on senior fitness to brush up since my certification, and arrived Tuesday morning to teach strength, flexibility, balance. It turned out they wanted aerobics. I like aerobics too, and I can't say I blame them, but its very hard to teach aerobics, and I hadn't cultivated that skill. So I met with the aerobics instructors and supervisors I know and practiced every day. This was a difficult time for me, because I was teaching, making many mistakes, looking quite ridiculous, getting ridiculed by the seniors and heckled... oh my. I finally told my supervisor that I didn't mind if she found someone else. I am grateful for the extra holiday money, but am making myself a little nuts with spending about 10 hours a week preparing and still having folks complain about me, teaching 4 hours a week.

I told my friend who teaches senior fitness about this, hoping she would help me with my dilemma. She got me to substitute teach for her, at the place where I teach yoga, but I am fearful that I will make a fool of myself there too.

I lost my job teaching at Bally's but have found considerable sub work there; I taught yoga the day after thanksgiving, will teach again Monday, and will substitute teach spinning and water aerobics in the supervisors absence over the holidays.

So my income is more abundant than it has been since I married DH. DH has been coming home on time so I can go teach instead of staying out all night.

Our anniversary came 11/22 and I told him I was disappointed that I never really got a birthday or anniversary present, as the membership is free now. I told him if I ever lose that job at the gym I'd like to keep the membership.

We argued over a chair and my foot got injured, and he wouldnt let me and Sarah out of the driveway so I called the police. happy anniversary.

I wondered where I would go, because my mom is moved out of her apartment into assisted living. So I visited her a little, then I went shopping until 9:30, then I went back home and things were settled.

OMG

I was pretty scared about thanksgiving. I said I'd like to cook, as mom can't, and it seems like a lot to take my mom and her wheelchair off to another state to visit dh's relatives who all side with him anyway.

I had cheese, crackers, veggies, lowfat dip for starters. I cooked turkey, ham, stuffing, green beans, jello, mashed potatos, homeade gravy, cake.

We argued about this, but in the end I still cooked the meal, mom came over and was nice for a change, we dropped her off and went to visit dh's relatives for a few hours, so we survived it.

DH decided he didn't want his birthday cake on thanksgiving with relatives, but instead the day after at a party with friends on his actual birthday. It was a struggle to be nice to him but we got through that, too.

Sarah's birthday was that Sunday. I went to work out, then we went to church, chucke cheese, had family over, went to my mom's, and I went to OA.

Now, no sooner than I've spend a month working to get her old apartment shut down and her settled into assisted living (where she'll go broke) than she calls me that she has decided to go back into a town assistance apartment (where she'll never go broke).

sigh

So I said she's her own person and the deicision is up to her, but I can't possibly provide for her as much care as she gets in her palacial assisted living facility, so she has to do a lot for herself in an apartment, and to think carefully.

DH and I had another argument where he was storming around screaming, so I tried to leave and he again blocked me in the driveway so I called the police again. Oh my.

I am still eating leftovers and dh is complaining but I enjoyed my turkey sandwiches, turkey soup, and turkey divan. I plan to make ham bean soup, and macaroni and cheese with ham.

None of my holiday meals have been healthy or lowfat. I ate tiny portions so I could pass my weigh ins for the months of November and December, but have been more lax in the past few days, as I don't have another weigh in till january.

Glad to hear you're down a pound and eating healthy.

Hugs,
Lisa



“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” - Ursula K. Le Guin lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/ lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/


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12/1/08 2:36 P

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Hi Lisa, Has it really been more than a month since I have written? How was your Thanksgiving? We had a very quiet one here. No guests at all, not even our son and his wife. her mom was returning from Florida and I didn't want to make them spread their time around. Besides DH was asked to work the day shift and so I just took my time and things were ready when he came home. We had decided not to have ALL the regular things one makes for T-day so it was mostly simply and lower calorie. It seemed to work as I was actually down a pound today. I hope I can keep it up. (or down in this case!)
So Halloween has passed, how did that go? Did Sarah go out, if so, as what?...She looks like a little princess? The Election is passed...I'm glad to have the campaign over and I hope we can come together and make some good progress in the nation. We have some BIG problems. I hope they aren't negatively affecting your family. We are doing OK, but my kids are having some problems. My folks are having some physical problems and I hate to see winter come as I am so far from them and travel gets harder. Are things working out with your mom?
Not much going on here. I've got lots of cleaning to do and that seems like it is never ending as I need to go through so much stuff that it depresses me...How is that Flylady thing going, do you think it would help me?
Have a great day!
Paula


Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7

In GOD we trust

"It is when people forget God that tyrants forge their chains " -
Patrick Henry

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10/21/08 9:01 P

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Hiya Paula,

Glad to hear the grandkids are doing well.

Sorry to hear about the gain at Curves.

Training occasionally goes well. Its harder with fewer group classes, but I am doing my best. For now I can compliment water aerobics with elliptical trainer and staionary bike with walking, but do not look forward to the growing colder seasons.

I am so grateful that I passed my personal trainer certification. I let them know at my gym, but no work is forthcoming.

I'm glad my 3 yoga classes I'm teaching a week are going well.

I'm sad that my husband's father passed away Monday morning. We'll have the funeral Friday.

My mom's insurance paying for her nursing home is ending Thursday. She will be private pay starting Friday (the day of the funeral). She is not ready to go home, so she has found assisted living that is acceptable to her. It is pretty fancy, and she will spend down her life savings to stay there. I made it clear to her how much it costs, and that once she has spent all her money, that I will not be paying for her to stay there, but instead transfer her to a place that takes state title 19.

She seems fine with that.

I got my weight down to goal for a day. My weight is up now.

Thanks for remembering my birthday! You're the greatest!

I don't have any plans. All I asked for is membership to a gym where they have daycare and group classes, which I probably won't get.

Please do keep in touch!

Hugs,
Lisa

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” - Ursula K. Le Guin lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/ lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/


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10/19/08 4:25 P

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Lisa,
Has it been almost a month since we have entered anything here? Is that a newer picture of Sarah? She sure is growing. My youngest granddaughter is now walking. She is just under a year old now. Time flies. My youngest and her family may be moving back here next year. It sure would be nice to have them around.
I hope you have gotten your weight fluctuations under control and that your training is proceeding well. My weight has been frustrating. I finished my first month of Curves Smart and I tracked my food well and ended the month with a .5 pound gain! The machines/computer were telling me I have an average calorie burn of over 525 calories so I am at a loss as to what to do. There is a new thing going on in our church that many are doing called the Prism diet. It is a low carb thing much like Adkins from what I can tell (though it seems it is a pay as you go and nobody is really "telling the secret") and I hear they take some kind of enzymes to aid in digestion as well as a special "omega" oil compound. Many are having great success with it. I really don't want to try it, sounds to strict to me.
Have you got plans for your birthday next week?
Paula

Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7

In GOD we trust

"It is when people forget God that tyrants forge their chains " -
Patrick Henry

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9/19/08 7:45 A

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Hi,

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!

Congrats on all that hard work that goes into a marriage...

emoticon

Clean sink goes perfectly most days, and DH is mostly on board.

He freaked out when I soaked some potatoes in the sink following a suggestion by Rachel Ray on her daytime abc show, so I probably won't do that again...

Yes I'm busy and I love it, as long as I am supported teaching where there is no daycare...

I'll miss my little girl...

My weight is going up even when I stick to my meal plan perfectly. This doesn't make sense on 1200 cal/day or so, but I used to eat 1200 - 1400 cal, exercise off about 600.

Now I only exercise off about 200 cal/day due to restrictions of group class availability, PLUS injury AND decreased time with studying.

So it pains me to see more curviness in my body, size 10s getting tight, decreased muscle mass, number on scale going up...

I guess it means I have to cut back even more on food. I think I messed up my metabolism with starvation dieting in my teens and early 20s. I don't think I can eat all healthy food and still lose weight without a ton of exercise.

I get worried I'll gain so much I'll be a joke teaching yoga. I am now overweight and don't want to get obese again.

I'm so happy about Lucky. I bet a lot of folks want to try and make a pet out of a squirrell themselves. I think your case is special and I support your decision with Lucky, but in general squirrells are not bred to be good pets, like dogs and cats have been, for centuries, so don't worry, I won't try that anytime soon! I love my kitties, and DH wants a dog...

Again, I hope you had a great anniversary when you read this!

I'm off to exercise and training!

Hugs,
Lisa
emoticon

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” - Ursula K. Le Guin lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/ lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/


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9/17/08 1:22 P

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Hi,

You must be a very busy girl with the training, yoga, work, and mommy duties. I do hope your DH will be working with you in this new venture. (I hope he is getting help with his struggles) BTW how is the "clean sink" thing going?

Do take care of that foot. You really don't want a permanent injury to give you trouble for the long term if you can prevent it. Age has a way of doing that to you anyway.

I never gave you an update on Lucky. He is doing just great, completely back to normal. He is even going for short walks on DH's shoulder again. He loves to show him off to others and Lucky loves it. People think it's fun to see a squirrel up close and personal. It makes people seem to want one, too. I don't recommend them as a pet, but I think he is a special case because of his very young age when we found him and lack of others like him to mentor him(and the possibility of partial blindness). He does some things very well, but others like balance and getting around seem to be abnormal. He does well in small spaces (his large cage) and on us, but he rarely ventures off of us, not at all like we have been told is normal (jumping on things, running all over and up and down curtains and ripping them to shreds). I know I certainly wouldn't recommend trying to catch one or finding an older baby or even a younger adult to raise. They would be very difficult to really get to trust. Lucky just kinda "fell" into our care and we took the step to do it.

I think "eyeball" measuring does get to be overestimated, but when I do measure some of the things I find I am right on and that lulls me into thinking the other things are also and to be honest I know they aren't (and to be even more honest I don't care 'cuz I just want to eat it!). I really need to watch it as this is the time of year I generally start gaining. I have an anniversary (37 years) tomorrow and I don't know if I can stick to "watching" it until Friday! Well at least one meal I probably won't, I'll have to be extra careful the rest of the meals though.

Have a great day!

Paula

Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7

In GOD we trust

"It is when people forget God that tyrants forge their chains " -
Patrick Henry

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9/17/08 10:07 A

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Hi,

So sorry to hear about the bad weather and power outage. Nothing like disaster to make it harder to eat right and exercise!

I guess in retrospect we were lucky.

I tried to shadow a personal trainer last week and we lost power at the gym during a storm. My daughter got really scared. But power came back in an hour, not such a big deal as 2 1/2 days!

I think you should get a refund if you're paying for services at Curves they are not providing.

Weighing and measuring is good. You'd think by now I'd be able to judge, but they told me at WW that it is normal that people overestimate their portions when not weighing and measuring.

I went to the dr for foot pain and he told me I had a stress fracture, so I asked for a note as I will be in personal trainer training all weekend. Dr warned me that if I don't take care of it, it could turn into permanent problem. He said most of my training I can't do, but I can do statinary bike, yoga, elliptical trainer, and weights and swimming. So I'll try to focus on what I can do.

Take care!

Hugs,
Lisa

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” - Ursula K. Le Guin lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/ lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/


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9/16/08 11:27 P

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Can't write much, but thought I should at least let you know I'm alive. We got very heavy winds up here in Ohio from Ike and the strongest blasts lasted for around 2 hours. We lost electric for several hours and cable, computer and Phone for 2 and a half days. We're back to normal this evening, but I understand some parts of the state won't be until Saturday.

food and exercise is so so. I have been struggling with the weight. I guess i should just start weighing and measuring again. I'm signed up for the Curves Smart, but they seem to be taking their time about training. I haven't figured out exactly the way they are doing it and if they don't get to me within the month I want reimbursed for at least one month they made me pay for up front.

I really have to go now, until later.

Paula

PS Good to hear you got a couple of classes to teach in yoga!

Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7

In GOD we trust

"It is when people forget God that tyrants forge their chains " -
Patrick Henry

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9/16/08 10:06 A

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Hi,

I hit my higher WW goal, so I'm not using their etools anymore.

I'm happy not to spend $42.35 a month on that; but I miss the ritual of planning my food on the computer and how it automatically counted points for me.

I tried filling out a paper planner, given to me by WW, but not sure I did it right.

They offer etools for $16.99 per month, plus $29.99 sign up fee. So I know its there if I want it; I just wish there was a free way to do the same thing.

To that end, I tracked my food yesterday and today in sparkpeople. It left me wondering if I was counting points correctly.

Do you have a food tracker that works for you?

How do you plan your food?

I wonder if Im just compulsive about food planning, but I hate to tweak what works; I'm so scared about gaining all the weight back.

I took Sarah to a buffet, and to our big fair, The Big E. I went by myself to a yoga retreat for a day where they had healthy food, but I ate too much of a good thing. It was served buffet style and thats hard for me. Dear Husband also took me out for Indian to celebrate the weight loss goal achieved.

So my weight went up a little. I'm exercising less due to group classes being cancelled.

I have good news that I got a call last night to teach TWO yoga classes for a nearby town. This pays better than a gym, but there is no daycare. DH assures me he will watch our little treasure while I teach, but I don't trust him.

How is your exercise going?

I am off to gym, doctor for foot pain, then to the town where I'll be teaching to fill out paperwork.

Later I will take a step aerobics and toning class.

I'm also taking a class next weekend to become a personal trainer. I have much studying to do.

I hope your food and exercise are going well!

Hugs,
Lisa

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” - Ursula K. Le Guin lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/ lisalisa1029.blogspot.com/


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