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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 136,831
5/23/16 10:30 A

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I find that my mood has been short lately and my sleep broken. We try to plan to do things and Sherry will fall asleep and we don't go anywhere. It even seems like Tim hasn't been calling much. Gotta recharge somehow

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 136,831
5/19/16 12:04 P

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There are still projects I want to do. I really need to get Sherry's work schedule before I can finish up a schedule for me.

I scheduled my injection appt thinking that surely one of them could get me. Nope. Communication has to improve.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 136,831
5/15/16 1:40 P

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I had some quiet time yesterday. I went through the Helena pictures with Helena this morning. I really want to start doing the projects that I've been wanting to do.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 136,831
5/12/16 3:48 P

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I think my time management is getting a little better. I do get to a point now where I say that it's time to quit. Both good things. Now to keep working on eating better and exercising more. Then to do more of the things I want to do.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 136,831
5/9/16 11:54 A

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I fell so unhealthy and so unorganized.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 136,831
5/8/16 8:05 P

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Gotta work on the me time...

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 136,831
5/7/16 1:53 P

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Still not much "me" time. H will go back to day care on Monday but I will probably have to drive her and pick her up.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 136,831
5/4/16 3:23 P

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I am back to watching Helena M, W,F. Sherry lined up Susan for T-TH and didn't check with me. Had to cancel dermatologist appt today

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 136,831
5/2/16 2:46 P

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I was so exhausted from this trip to Michigan. I tried so many times on Saturday to lay down and when I finally did my heart gave me trouble. Tim thought I was just stressed. Yes but it hurt and fluttered like crazy.

I took a sleeping pill last night hoping to get a good sleep. When I woke this morning the kitchen was a disaster...I know I did it. Two bowls of oatmeal, the butter was on a peeled banana...yikes...time to take stock.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 136,831
4/22/16 12:29 P

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I knew it was going to rain yesterday so the first things I did was go for a walk and work on the yard. It felt good.

It was raining when I got up today, so I worked on the afghan and I cleaned the toy room well. Another feel good.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 136,831
4/20/16 10:09 A

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Our communication definitely needs to be worked on. First we are having the garage sale, then we are not. Just like last Saturday, she told me I could go on the tour of downtown Madison. When she woke up, she said she was leaving to work at Habitat for Humanity. Sit down and have a pow wow.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 136,831
4/19/16 12:28 P

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Sherry got the bank job offered to her. Now she's vacillating. It's more hours, $4 more an hour, benefits and room for advancement. I say it's a no-brainer. But she's worried that she won't exercise or that she will see less of Helena. Right now, she doesn't see much of her anyway.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 136,831
4/15/16 4:30 P

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I had my day planned to run errands. Sarah called and needed me to watch Bailey. So shift gears and work organizing things in house.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 136,831
4/14/16 11:01 A

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Helena is so funny!

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 136,831
4/13/16 11:06 A

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I'm starting to feel a little more like myself. I am not hurting as much or as tired. Sherry seems to be evening out a bit and that helps. I am not handling her well.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 136,831
4/10/16 2:41 P

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Keep busy. Get my spirits up and my life in order. Big challenge.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 136,831
4/7/16 11:33 A

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Sherry had a run in with the guy next door. I came out to hear some very nasty stuff coming out of his mouth. I started charging towards the front door only to have Tim say that we were a little too drunk to confront him. That hurt too.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 136,831
4/4/16 1:37 P

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Sherry said something that kinda hurt last night. She said she needed a night out. (Although the past two Fridays she had one.) I said I needed at least a couple. She got all over me because she felt that if I wanted to go out I could. She said I don't tell her when I have plans. I know I told her that I want to go to church on Sunday mornings and that my class is Sunday night. She doesn't remember that.

I will have to give it a few days, try to make plans for during the day and then sit and talk with her.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 136,831
3/31/16 11:19 A

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None of us slept well last night. I didn't get a call from DHS so I had to call and leave a message with the supervisor. I get so aggravated with them.

My legs and foot hurt again during the night. I will have to call to find out who I need to see.

I'm waiting for Tim. He got a late start and the weather's bad. He forgot to pick up my prescription so I had to call it in. I would have done that yesterday...

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 136,831
3/30/16 9:19 P

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Sarah had to go to Troy for some meetings yesterday and today. She didn't tell us until she got home what happened this morning. Her and 2 male co-workers were jogging this morning on Troy Campus. Of course - just roads- no sidewalks. The one insisted that Sarah be in the middle. A car came barrelling through and hit this guy by the front bumper. He went up into the air, down on the windshield, down the side of the car where he took out the side mirror. Debris flew all over Sarah. The guy in the car never got out. The other runner just stood there. Sarah called 911 and held this guy's hand. He was moving and talking, but had 2 skull fractures, a fracture in his neck and bleeding on the brain. He has a 3 and 2 year old. Thank you Jesus for watching over them.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 136,831
3/29/16 10:18 A

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Bad day yesterday - Helena was sick and sassy. Sherry had a bad day and couldn't handle her so I didn't sleep much. I am hoping today is better.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 136,831
3/28/16 10:01 P

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It's so hard to feel like we are all in limbo. I have to work on getting us into a routine and doing things that are fun.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 136,831
3/26/16 3:09 P

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Sherry's still not in the best of moods, Helena has a bit of a cold, and it seems that I'm doing a bit for Sherry and not nearly enough for me. So I feel as if I am running on empty.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 136,831
3/24/16 10:45 A

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Sherry had a bad night last night. So she didn't sleep well. My back and legs really hurt yesterday and during the night. I took melatolin thinking it would help me sleep and it just had me sitting on the toilet for awhile. Helena woke up early. Sherry came in and wanted me to take care of Helena so she could get a little more sleep. She sometimes forgets that she's the Mom and that sometimes I am not quite up to things.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 136,831
3/22/16 11:39 A

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Tim got a call back from the place he interviewed at last week. He will be back down next week. Yeah! Sherry got a call from a credit union. She's worried about not being able to pass the tests.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 136,831
3/20/16 1:31 P

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Another family member left us yesterday - Amy Boedeker. It's hard when someone my nieces' age leaves us - especially when there are young children involved.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 136,831
3/18/16 1:25 P

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The memorial was very hard on me. I was discombobulated trying to get myself and Helena ready and getting her there and trying to keep her entertained. I couldn't be in there for Sherry like I wanted nor did I feel that I had a chance to grieve. Sherry seems much more accepting and wanting to keep going, which is good. I did worry so. It's strange that I know that Helena has seen and talked to Ben. She absolutely knows she did , at this young age. I have heard of it, I have seen some of it first hand, but never expected to see it in someone so young.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 136,831
3/14/16 5:05 P

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We went to find rocks with Sherry today. I was a nervous wreck starting down the hill and ended up stopping. I never thought I would be afraid to do something but I know I am afraid of falling.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 136,831
3/13/16 9:02 P

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I had a bad day yesterday that continued into this morning. But I think that just maybe I am starting to pull out of it. It doesn't help that I had to deal with Ray and I realized that he really doesn't remember any of our life together. But it does help to have Tim here.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 136,831
3/11/16 11:34 A

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I had a rough afternoon yesterday. Sherry had to go and help his sister plan the memorial. She said his parents said they couldn't. I just can't make sense of it all.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 136,831
3/9/16 1:13 P

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Sherry and Helena came home and Sherry finished eating. I was sitting there while Helena finished. Sherry said she was going to go on the back porch for a minute. She came running back in. Ben's mom called and said that Ben had been in a bad car wreck and that he was in serious condition. I knew right then that he was gone. He was 12 miles from Huntsville coming home from work. Somehow he ran off the road to the left and hit a tree. The jaws had to get him out of the truck. They worked on him there for a long time but he was already gone. Sherry is taking it so hard and I don't know what to do for her.

She talked to his sister this morning. His sister said that the police found drug paraphernalia in the truck and that if he lived they would charge him with DUI. I saw the truck on the news. I couldn't even tell it was a truck. I don't know how they could have found anything. I don't believe that there was anything in there.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 136,831
3/8/16 11:14 A

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I didn't really sleep all that well again last night but was able to stay in bed most of the night. My spirits may be a little better today. I have a knitting class tonight that I was supposed to take a couple weeks ago. Betting Sherry has forgotten but that's normal. I got a lecture again yesterday; she doesn't want me to lay down on the couch, let alone with Helena. She tried to make me feel guilty because I was asleep and Helena was watching Minnie.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 136,831
3/7/16 1:22 P

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I went to Epiphany for church yesterday and almost got a ticket on the way there. I realized that is was indeed good to go back, but things never stay the same. When I got home, Sherry and Ben were 3 sheets to the wind. I got a stern talk about how Ben was going to train Lily. Then at 5, they told me that they were going to run an errand and be back by 5:30. They promised as I told them I had a little homework to finish and my class started at 6:30. At about 6, they still weren't back, Helena had a messy diaper and I didn't know if I needed to just put her in the tub. She was outside all day and was tired. Sherry told me that it wasn't her fault that I wasn't done with my homework and they were in route as I heard the car start. They both promised to pick up the back yard and put the sand box back. I picked up the yard but couldn't move the sand box. Ben said he would and sat outside for I don't know how long. The sand box is still there.

I overslept this morning as I was up with Helena during the night. Sherry was upset that I didn't have Helena ready this morning.

It's hard right now to not be down. I don't do anything but take care of Helena and clean. I can't even get to a lot of the things I do plan the few times I plan them - like my Sunday night class or the crocheting class that I paid $25 for last Tuesday that I didn't get to go to. The hardest part is when I get comments that make me feel guilty.

I need to have a heart-to-heart with Sherry tonight. I have difficulty when others put me down; it's especially hard when family does it.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 136,831
3/4/16 10:14 A

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I had no energy yesterday. I can't say that I have any today.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 136,831
3/2/16 12:44 P

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I am so tired of fighting with TJX. They never put the gift card towards the balance and now I am racking up late charges every month. Every time I talk to someone they tell me something different: I can't make payments in the store - I can, I can't use the gift card for a payment - yes I can, etc.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 136,831
3/1/16 2:40 P

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I ended up sleeping with Helena last night. I do enjoy her so much. Sherry woke me up as Ben was leaving. He was in a huff because he thought I did something with his work boots. ??? Why do I get into trouble when I don 't do anything? And I know he sat in bed all day yesterday when I did house and yard work.

Maybe it's just the day. It's Dad's birthday and I am struggling with it this year. I don't have anyone in my life right now that I am even remotely as close to as I was with him.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 136,831
2/29/16 10:28 A

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There's a couple more in the area. I will try one next Sunday

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 136,831
2/28/16 8:20 P

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I went to the 11 o'clock service and was totally disappointed. I felt as if the priest was "out there somewhere". He even commented a couple times during his homily about how a reader goofed. Time to try another church.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 136,831
2/26/16 10:13 A

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I am still going round and round with TJM about the payment I made with a gift card. I get so furious. The person this morning told me it's my responsibility to make sure it gets paid. I tried to explain again and again what happened, she started to check into it then pretended that she couldn't hear me.

I will try Ray again today. That house isn't in the greatest of locations but it looked okay on the outside and the price - if right - is great.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 136,831
2/25/16 10:47 A

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I got an email about a house on the other side of Hwy 72 for $20000. It didn't have any pictures, though. I wrote down the address and will go look at it. I am hoping I can talk to Ray and he can give me the money for the properties or at least take out a loan for me.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 136,831
2/24/16 10:59 A

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Sherry had another melt-down last night. She talked about how hard it was when Ben and I weren't here. She is so dependent on me to help with Helena. I don't always get done what I want to do but I think I do okay with Helena.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 136,831
2/23/16 10:55 A

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Lately I've been feeling like my girls are tiptoeing around me. Sarah gave me a runaround about painting the bathroom. She was very indecisive. I finally asked her if Randy had said no. The answer came from Sherry - Sarah wasn't sure how good a painter I was or if I should be on a ladder.

Sherry asked me to do her taxes. I told her I didn't feel comfortable doing them because she's head of household, is paying taxes on the condo and has lived in Alabama for 6 months. I KNOW Sarah said we could do them together. Now Sherry tells me she is not going to help me.

Sherry and I are tight on money. There's things that are needed around the house that I have had to charge. I finally made a dishcloth that looks decent enough to sell. I am going to a class tonight to learn how to make a hat. I am hoping that I can make enough to sell some.

I don't know if I should go back up right now to MI to tie up loose ends or what. When I am not here, they want me back.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 136,831
2/22/16 1:07 P

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I was definitely bored yesterday. Drove myself crazy. I finally decided to take a sleeping pill. I got a great night sleep. I woke up once to find Helena laying in bed with me. I don't remember her coming in but I'm glad she did. I think she feels a little more comfortable with me at night. Ben can be a little gruff and Sherry is wishy washy and then gets aggravated.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 136,831
2/21/16 11:43 A

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It was a no-sleep night with Helena. We had a good morning though.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 136,831
2/20/16 9:46 A

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I am getting down because I've been in this house with very little adult interaction. Sherry and Ben are here; Ben hides in the bedroom and Sherry most times tells me what I need to say/not say or do/not do. It is starting to overwhelm me.

We were supposed to go to a church fish fry with Sarah and Sarah misunderstood Sherry and made other plan last night. Today, I thought there was something fun going on at the Space and Rocket Center. I obviously got the dates wrong.

I wanted to go to Bible Study on Thursday morning. That was the day that Sherry kept Helena home. We had fun but I want to and need to do something for me.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 136,831
2/19/16 10:08 A

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I think I am doing more for me and letting Sherry handle her own housework. I try to make efforts to call people. I look for numbers and haven't gotten very far. I come up with a few today. I will call to see if I can get help finding a place near here.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 136,831
2/17/16 11:10 A

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I felt like I accomplished a bit yesterday. I started my 2nd year of EFM last night. I don't think Sherry likes that I am doing this but I am doing it for me.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 136,831
2/16/16 10:30 A

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I got up energetic again today. It surprised me because I woke up with terrible abdominal pains in the middle of the night. Now let's see how long it lasts today.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 136,831
2/15/16 11:14 A

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my spirits seem to be a little better. but I know getting out of the house will do me good.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 136,831
2/14/16 5:07 P

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I actually took a nap, soaked in an Epsom bath and still don't feel right.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 136,831
2/13/16 11:07 A

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When I was in Michigan, one night Sherry called and Tim answered the phone. I agreed to have Tux over this weekend. Being asleep or almost - I don't remember. I felt bad. The dogs didn't get along at first. Thank goodness it's better this morning.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 136,831
2/12/16 12:02 P

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I am so broke that I am charging food. I will take back a couple things today. When I went shopping yesterday the first two stores went good and then it was down hill from there. Sherry, Ben and I all got home at the same time.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 136,831
2/11/16 12:05 P

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I got a kink in my neck when telling Helena goodnight. It bothered me all night and morning. I finally soaked in epsom salts and it seems to have helped.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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