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1/22/10 10:22 P

Have a great weekend!!

current weight: 235.6

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Posts: 767
1/19/10 9:28 P

The Man Behind The SCENE:


This has been a heartwarming day. One of those chalked up to blessings sent from heaven, with an angel on earth who adds the perfect amount of celebration to my life every time I'm there. To see the light of christianity in a person's eyes, and sense it flowing forth in conversation~is truly ALWAYS divine.

When one thinks of Wal-mart a shopping list generally comes to mind(for most). Not so much in my case. Thoughts of friendship, memories made here and there that become a "memory bound novel." Where in the world has this come from, and where might it be going????

Welllll....there is a gentleman; that works @ one of those locations. Bless his heart he tells my tale(of weightloss), as I shop about, checking off my list. It isnt my seeking, nor my goal, yet trulymeaningful. His sincere intensions of helping others through another's accomplishments is thoughtful. What a good man through and through.

Having shared with him about SparkPeople, and how it has helped me with this weightloss journey~ he planned to pass on the message. Yet again thinking of others. Good For Him!

Journaling is an outlet, self expression, and a time to untangle mounds of thoughts that often cause our minds to short circut~creating a "power outage" where everything SUDDENLY STOPS! Awwww yesss to have the ability to just let our fingers gracifully flutter across these keys; while everything within~"simply comes to be." This is exactly what I am suppose to be doing in the moment. No question about it.

Touching the lives of others every single day he works... Most are grateful; while others are in the process of learning "tough lessons~" from wrong choices they've made. He is the fellow behind the scenes.

I do believe not only I, but many others also, will miss him should he opts to retire~down the road. Tis no replacing him, thats for darn sure! Okay he may be replaceable, but there wont ever be an "equal." No how...no way...not possible...just flat out...IMPOSSIBLE, and that's all I have to say.

I do believe in angels on earth, God's assistants helping day and night. How nice to have that feeling that my life has been graced by a few. Heaven forbid if he has a "TARNISHED OR TILTED HALO" instead!! If I'm seriously blind...well then so be it! No way will I even feel the need to confess about that in this lifetime!

Tis okay to be stubborn when one feels especially strong that their perception is correct. There are "Some things" that just may have to be carried along(suit case like) to those pearly gates~ as I talk a blue streak LIKE NO OTHER... hoping they'll let me in!!!! Each and every thought pertaining to this friend is with kindness, and good intent. May God bless this man behind the scenes, FOREVER, ALWAYS, & FARRRRRRR INTO ETERNITY SWEET.

The End.

~SmilinDi~

Edited by: SMILINDI at: 1/20/2010 (01:50)

current weight: 178.0

365 303.75 242.5 181.25

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Posts: 767
1/18/10 2:52 P

Moving forward is always the best way to step. Just like two stepping, life can be two steps forward, one step back. That one step back has passed for me. Hoorayyyy for that! Soul searching is good. Too bad it takes a crash landing for some to figure that out~but at least the moment comes to be at some point in time. I am on my way...with this continued journey of bettering my health, my life, my heart, the scale peg!!! THE WORKS! YEAH!!! SLOW DANCING IS GOING TO HAVE TO WAIT...OR BE DONE FOREVER....AS I AM GOING TO BOOGIE DOWN LIFE'S LANE!

~SmilinDi~

current weight: 178.0

365 303.75 242.5 181.25

120

Posts: 767
1/15/10 12:39 P

MissLady~thankyou kindly. Giving up isnt ever an option, not in my books anyway. Tis possibly why God granted me my strong will, stubborn, yet people skill blessings. I have the will to make it, am too stubborn to give up, and love reaching out to help others anyway possible that they too will succeed in anything they so desire.

Okay tis time to add another journal entry. First came the note of thanks~ though. The past few days have been difficult ones for me. We are facing some challenges here in our lives. Two nights ago I had a set back like no other!!! For the first time in five years I drank, and had an oatmeal cream cookie, and two...yesss two hunnybuns! what was I thinking??? That next day(yesterday I was up SEVEN POUNDS)!!!!

It took something serious to push me over the edge to drink!!! Five years sober, and wow....yeahhh...that's out of my stystem! NO MORE OF THAT!!! Yesterday I did the flush flush flush thing, and worked out hard for seven hours.... . I arrived home to have a two hour tub time meditation, with a woodwick candle being the only light. Crackle crackle crackle...a talk with God, and went to bed early. Was emotionally zapped, as well as having a down moment due to my poor choices. Do believe God has forgiven me, and I have forgiven myself. We are only human~as long as we learn from our mistakes~that is what sets us up for success.

This morning when I weighed yessss I am back down five pounds from yesterday's heart attack moment! Back on track, only have two more to shed, and I'll be back to Tuesday's weight of 180 lbs. Without a doubt I'll make it. The issues here arent resolved, but my selfdestruction wires have been clipped!!! Ripped out would best explain that! ha!

Issues from one's past if left in a dark closet, will eventually jump out scaring the hell out of us if we arent responsible enough to work through them, flush 'em, and walk away with our head held high. I've yet to deal with mine, but she is back in town, and when the time is right...SmilinDi will be "wordyDi." There are more than a few things to be said. Biding my time, knowing this is a self healing process, rather than a moment to sabatoge somebody's life. Dancing with the devil is something I've always tried to avoid, but rather than hiding from him(her), she needs to know I am a strong woman who will not allow events of the past put me in fear of living life in the moment.

There are times that a crash is exactly what we need to face those demons in the closet, that haunt us just knowing they are there. Tis time to clean out the closet(so to speak). It will be a great day!!! Feeling great that I am back! Cant believe I disappeared losing my footing for the first time in FIVE YEARS.

Until Next time.....
~SmilinDi~

current weight: 178.0

365 303.75 242.5 181.25

120

SparkPoints: (6,199)
Fitness Minutes: (4,846)
Posts: 1,200
1/15/10 12:00 P

Thanks for adding me as a friend!!! You are such an inspiration, 277 - 180 is fantastic but what's even better is that through the ups and downs, you never gave up!!!

current weight: 235.6

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SparkPoints: (6,199)
Fitness Minutes: (4,846)
Posts: 1,200
1/14/10 10:23 A

Congrats and good for you!!! You have so much to be proud of.

current weight: 235.6

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Posts: 767
1/13/10 8:12 P

Okay this is sooo a journaling "MUST" MOMENT!!! Having just got home from shopping, clothing wasnt on my list, but I was curious what size I actually would wear now in tops. HOLY MOLEY, HEAVEN'S BLESSINGS ARE SWEET! I HAVE ON RIGHT NOW A WOMEN'S SIZE "MEDIUM." It is a body armor shirt at that. Figure fitting to the T!!! My tears just rolled on the way home~from 7XL's to a women's size Medium...this journey has been so worth every bead of sweat~yeah!

If you are reading this, and wondering how in the world you are going to accomplish weightloss~my words of advise are dont second guess your efforts. Pleaseeeeee keep working out, eating healthy, and taking ultimate care of your body. It is going to thank you, rewarding you as well with moments of joy sooner than later.

Much Love Always~
~SmilinDi~

current weight: 178.0

365 303.75 242.5 181.25

120

Posts: 767
1/1/10 1:10 P

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY 2010~

This being my journaling spot, it is with warmth that I create in the moment not only for myself, but for anybody and everybody who stops by here for a boost of encouragement with the first day of 2010 having arrived.

Christmas brought abundant blessings with family from both near and far, memories added that shall warm our hearts into eternity sweet. There were a few who couldnt make it due to weather; however they were still present in heart, and included in my prayer said before our Christmas Family Feast/gift exchange Celebration.

As planned I took my meal with me for Christmas dinner. It was delicious, and felt wonderful knowing my goals werent going to be cahsed in for even a moment through the holiday time. YEAHHHHHHH....STICKING TO MY PLAN, IS SOOO TO MY BENEFIT not only in the moment but long term without a doubt!

Today being NEW YEAR'S DAY, I've been tidying up our house. The weather is pleasant, sun shining bright, and we always have friends from afar in town visiting family who stop by throughout every major holiday throughout the year. If that isnt an incentive to make sure there is sitting space available I dont know what is!!! ha Deep cleaning? Ummm...welllll...no way....surface cleaning OF COURSE!

May the Lord continue to bless me(us) however he sees fit. My extra plea is that he continue to walk with me, carrying me when necessary as I continue taking care of my body, that he created 39 years ago. This has been a wonderful journey rediscovering my hourglass figure that had become round from head to toe. Christmas bulb shaped at that!!!! Truly oh truly each and everyday of sweating, changing my eating habits, praying for God's ongoing support, and thanking my Grandmother who VOWED once she got to heaven she was going to have a talk with God about my weight struggles coming to a hault, have so been worth every second of commiment I'm still putting in.

Upon reaching my goal, it wont stop there. This is a life long mission, that is a given. My goal is to reach out beyond nutrition coaching here in town. With an incredible oppertunity to travel a bit, educating doctors about weightloss and reversing their patients' health challenges~I do see this as a way of Thanking God for my own weightloss blessings. It will be a leap of faith career wise, no guarentees how many Doctors will join me agreeing to add this program to their clinics, yet I feel it is my calling~and I shouldnt even second guess the oppertunity.

On that note...I'm hungry...ha...veggies are calling my name. Mmmmmmmm healthy munching is about to begin. I challenge each of you who stopped by here to head to your own kitchen whipping out and washing up some healthy veggies to crunch on while you are typing on the keys. Best of Luck and LOADZZZZZ OF LOVE TO EACH OF YOU NOT ONLY TODAY ~JANUARY 1, 2010~ BUT ALLL YEAR THROUGH AS WELL~

~SmilinDi~

Edited by: SMILINDI at: 1/1/2010 (13:27)

current weight: 178.0

365 303.75 242.5 181.25

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Posts: 767
12/9/09 5:38 P

Ahhhh yesss feeling festive that I am~MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL (even if it is a wee bit early)!!!!

There isnt a temptation one~food, or beverage wise that will create me caving, or backsliding this holiday season. Looking back on how far I've come, by getting out pics of Christmas' past has been a great motivation for my continued STRENGTH~ every holiday season.

Each year the progress shows, not only through pics, but through the wellness that continues to increase with each pound that is shed. If each step physically taken becomes less painful, our facial expressions change too.

Mmmmm.....the light in my eyes is a tell tale sign too. Feeling better truly is witnessed through the visual discription of our eyes and smile. As mentioned above that isnt only about the outside, but truly oh truly, if we arent feeling pain, we are bound to have a glow about us. Praise the Lord~I have that glow too now!!!

May each and every single fellow member of Spark People have a successful and heart warming holiday season. Praying for us all, that I am already doing. God knows who we all are, and with his mighty blessings we shall succeed, not only through the holiday, but long after it has past.

In Love & Friendship,
~SmilinDi~

Edited by: SMILINDI at: 12/9/2009 (17:40)

current weight: 178.0

365 303.75 242.5 181.25

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Posts: 767
12/8/09 6:59 A

When one is good to their body, as a "THANK YOU," the scale rewards us with lower numbers!!! Yeahhh this so rocks...my weight has decreased by more than four pounds this past week. Whooo-hooo by next week I think I may, I think I might..."be dancing in the 80's" 180's that is.

By being grateful for yesterdays accomplishments, counting our blessings in the moment, & visualizing tomorrow's success...ONE SHALL ALWAYS COME OUT AHEAD!!!! (by SmilinDi 12/8/09)

Much Love Always,
~SmilinDi~

Edited by: SMILINDI at: 12/8/2009 (07:01)

current weight: 178.0

365 303.75 242.5 181.25

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Posts: 767
11/30/09 11:42 P

Thank you so much IACTA.....WOW WHAT A LONGGG NAME! ha! Love that you consider me an inspiration. Follow me if you'd like~maybe I'll keep you going down the right path, with success mountain not so far away~ :o). Have a wonderful night. Sweet Dreams when you rest your body, preparing for tomorrow's continued success.

~SmilinDi~

current weight: 178.0

365 303.75 242.5 181.25

120

Posts: 1,342
11/30/09 4:33 P

Great positive attitude and confidence. You are an inspiration!

current weight: 205.0

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Posts: 767
11/30/09 1:31 P

Tomorrow is weigh in!!! Feeling great about that. Sureee hope this coffee doesnt ruin that for me~as long as I have one additional 8 oz glass of water per cup of coffee(over two cup allowance a day), I should be A-Okay~ .

It is going to be a gorgeous day outside. Just might have to get out and walk rather than scrubbing floors, bathtubs, walls(Ya know the works). Feels wonderful having a suprise day off. So far I've just clicked away on the keys~hummmmm...wondering if this could be counted as exercise. ha! I know NOT!!! Now if Eve wouldnt have eaten that APPLE....then we might not have to exercise ever! Shame on her!!! lol

Just thought it would be a good time to get a journal entry posted. Have a great day everybody~!!!

~SmilinDi~

current weight: 178.0

365 303.75 242.5 181.25

120

Posts: 767
11/22/09 7:15 P

It's been a healthy, mega active day. Hand scrubbed all of our flooring throughout the house. Moved and rearranged our furniture in two rooms today, washed walls, the whole kit and kaboodle. Now its time for me to leave for my Sunday evening office cleaning job. Should return home around midnight. 4.5-5 more hours of workout time~YEAHHHH!!!! I loveeeeeee sweating for hours on end...so not lady like, but sure is transforming my body, and I clean up mighty fine now~ .

~SmilinDi~

current weight: 178.0

365 303.75 242.5 181.25

120

Posts: 767
11/21/09 10:41 A

Ahhhh yes the beginning of a fantastic day. Usual veggies and a protien drink for breakfast, huge glass of lemon water, and veg time on the keys for a bit. My Dad is anxiously awaiting together time with me, and a haircut. He is the only one in the family who's hair I cut any longer. Took my family over a year to adjust to that after I opted to leave the salon, but they are doing better 2 1/2 years later.

Do believe it will be the day to burn calories here at home. CLEANING MY OH SO NEGLECTED HOUSE. My husband is such a patient man, thank heavens for that. Plans are bathrooms being cleaned, All flooring hand scrubbed. Wall touch ups with lysol rags, rug shaking, vacumming, anything and everything I can get accomplished before bed time tonight. Having a large home is a dreamy idea when you are signing the paperwork, but not a good idea down the road when a woman realizes she has to keep it in shape~lol ! This has the makings of being a great workout day and evening!!! YEAHHHHH!!! Alll hale the messes~hehehehe!

Have a Great Day Anybody and Everybody Checking in on me through this journaling section of my sp voyage.

xoxoxoxo...
~SmilinDi~

current weight: 178.0

365 303.75 242.5 181.25

120

Posts: 767
11/20/09 11:13 A

What a great start to a beautiful day! The sun is shining, temp is wayyy chilly; how the shining sun just x's out this chilly winter air.

Breakfast this morning is one that has me a little shocked~no ALOT ACTUALLY! Right here with me is a skinless boneless steamed chicken breast, and my favorite breakfast protien drink. Hummmmmm....so felt the need for protien this morning~obviously. ha!

This means the rest of the day I'll focus on VEGGIES~endless amounts of romaine lettuce, fresh veggies of the green and white family(no starchy ones at all~EVER), as well as MASS QUANTITIES OF LEMON WATER. :O)

I love this healthy road I've been traveling for a decade + four and half years. It has so been in my best interest. Life is great, God Is GRAND, and not for a moment do I ever feel I am walking alone.

Have a wonderful day Everybody~
~SmilinDi~

current weight: 178.0

365 303.75 242.5 181.25

120

Posts: 767
11/19/09 1:37 P

A week or two ago I posted a celbration note of having lost 160 lbs.(on that particular date). The wonderful replies were outstanding. Thanks to everybody who joined in my celebration.

Since then that weightloss has become 166 lbs! Thought it would be fun and possibly motivating for others to start an actual community journal. Time shall tell.

What seems not so long ago I recall fearing how to make through the day without two pots of coffee, a two liter bottle and Diet Soda, and two trips the local convient store to fill my 44 oz. cup at least twice in a day with of course DIET SODA.

Even with all of that I was still losing weight, but soo dependant on caffine it was frightening. Six months ago(may 19, 2009) I opted to give up alllll carbonated beverages. As well as alll artificial sweetner, of course sugar which had been absent for years. Cut back my coffee to a few cups a day. Yessss there was major withdraw for about 10 days. Insominia, headaches, body aches, the works, but within one week of that I shed 14 lbs!!! That was massive fluid retention~dangerously high at that!

Having started at 365 lbs. YEARS AGO, today I celebrate tipping the scale at 199 lbs. Only 69 more pounds to my weighloss goal of 130 lbs. Piece of cake!!! (SMILING SO BIG). I've come this far and there's no turning back. Moving is easier, my stomach isnt on the tips of my knees any longer. That waist has gone from 63 inches to 35 inches. My hips were 60 PLUS INCHES, and today they are 45 inches. My upper arms were 27 inches, and today....oh my gosh they are 12 inches!!! This is a whole new me. No more quadruple chins laying where there were suppose to be collar bones. Now I actually have collar bones showing, and one chin~no excess what so ever. Blessings....sweet blessings, all through great faith and dedication. Truly this is "ROYAL."

Until Next Time~Much Love To All,
~SmilinDi~

current weight: 178.0

365 303.75 242.5 181.25

120