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11/26/09 4:16 A

so sorry for your loss

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11/25/09 10:49 P

Well, today is a very sad day. It started off being great, but ended in an unexpected way.

To make a long story short, we had to put Nimbus to sleep tonight. We went to have a check-up due to his worsening condition and the conclusion was that it was time.

NO sense in dragging it out longer, so we just did it and he went peacefully. I felt sad, anger, regret, numbness and now sorrow - all in the span of two hours.

We came home with some items we needed for Thanksgiving tomorrow, but our heart is not into celebrating at all. I threw away his dog food, bowls, gate for the doors, medications and anything in plain sight that I can't stand to look at.

We have been crying on and off and my heart is twisting and turning. They took him away to go inject him with the solution to put him to sleep and I had this impulse to stop them. I wanted to run out of the room and grab him back. I was going crazy while we waited for it to be done while we waited.

We decided not to be in the same room while it happened because I could not have my last image of him to be dead. We picked him up 12.5 years ago as a happy playful, live baby. We wanted to remember him alive as the last thing we saw.

I did manage to give him a last spoonful of peanut butter before we went to see the vet. But, we had not imagined today would be the day.

It was the right thing. His tumor was growing and he was getting sick, as well as losing interest in food over the last couple of days. He was just going downhill faster.

We loved him so much and hate to let go. Why do pets have to die so soon? This was my first dog I have ever owned, so it was a new experience.

my whole family loved him. He will be greatly missed.

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11/20/09 5:18 P

I bought 3-65 lb. weights in 5 pound increments from CraigsList with a rack for $350. This was a steal and I love my free weights.

I realized recently that PowerBlocks were great for me as a beginner, but making the adjustments is taking too long for the more complicated routines I work on. Plus my body is developing at different rates, so I need heavier on one side versus the other - just so much easier to walk up to the rack and pick up what I need and stick some Platemate magnets on it to increase up to 2.5 lbs. increments...
So much easier and I love my new dumbbells.

I got a lot of use from my Powerblocks, so I will resell them on CraigsList and see what happens..

I also bought slanted risers for my original step, so I can have more efficient use of it as a weight bench - decline and incline.

I also bought a 50 lb. weighted vest for doing squats and cardio and will help increase weight when I get my barbell.

I can buy a cheaper barbell with 100-160lb. weights and use the weighted vest to make up for some of the weight for leg work. We'll see how that works out.

I also am considering a benchpress rack that will work with my step as a bench.

So, I am upgrading my home gym, Yay!

I will continue with my 100 days of change, but have been busy with work, my dog and buying the new stuff.

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11/16/09 11:08 A

Sometimes I get wrapped up in the taste of the food, not necessarily as to what purpose it is suppose to be serving

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11/15/09 10:33 P

So, I am very super excited today because I decided that it is getting very tedious to change up my weights with the Powerblocks I use. I love them, but when you start lifting weights your body advances differently as time goes on and it's very hard take time to reset the increments/adjustments for the next exercise. It takes at least an extra 20-30 minutes due to having to pause and switch it all up. This is especially bad when you are doing one set of 24 exercises or doing supersets and so on..

So, I decided to look around on Craigs List and found an entire hex/iron cast dumbbell set 3-65 lbs. and a rack to put them all on - all for $350.

I did the math and most stores sell these dumbbells for $1 a pound. So, when you consider tax, $1 per pound and the cost of a rack (about $190-250) I ended up saving about $575 on them.

There was an even better deal with 5-70 lbs and rack for $200, but that sold out within 10 minutes of the posting. I called 20 minutes after it posted and it was already sold!

So, this was the best next deal.

I am also going to purchase some plate mate magnets to help with increments - they stick to the ends of the dumbbell. I can't find any used ones near here, so I may have to buy them new for $30 a pair.

But, the next step is to find a barbell set with wavy bar. I saw lots of those on Craigs List too for like $40.

So, let it be a lesson to check there first.

I went with my husband to pick them up and we have them at home now and I am so thrilled!

Now, I think I will sell the Powerblocks on Craigs List!

Edited by: SIRENALATINA at: 11/15/2009 (22:34)

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10/29/09 9:59 P

So, my dog Nimbus is still holding on. He acts like nothing is wrong most of the time. He is on some pain medication, but the tumor has gotten seemingly larger. He walks on and off his foot. We are taking him to an oncologist tomorrow to see if they can give us more information.

We have no clue when he will need to be euthanized, but he is not showing any signs of it being soon. But, you never know.

We weren't sure what was going to happen and would have put him to sleep almost 6 weeks ago...had we listened to that original vet.

We were planning ahead and met with some breeders and even put down a deposit on a new baby (the litter is due in May), so we want to talk to the specialist to see if we should postpone buying a new puppy if there's a chance that Nimbus will still be around in May.

It's so hard because we are not sure what's happening. So, he's happy and doing pretty well right now, but that could change at any moment.

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10/29/09 9:50 P

Day #21 100 Days of Weight Loss: The Secret to Being Successful On Any Diet Plan by Linda Spangle:

Eat with Awareness

If you ever experienced eating your meal while multi-tasking, you might always also wonder where the food went. You weren't aware of what you were eating. You are supposed to eat to fuel your body and eat to appreciate flavors, so you need to slow it down and be aware of everything you eat.

If you eat without awareness your mind may still long for the flavor and texture, so you continue to eat more - leading you to overeat.

Cultivate awareness with what you are eating at each meal. Slow down when you eat and try to spend more time appreicating your food.

Today
------------
Prepare a quiet meal for yourself with candles and light music and fine china. This will create an atmosphere for you to be aware of your food and appreciate it more - no tv or other distractions.

Sit down with your meal and appreciate all aspects of it as you slowly eat it.

In your notebook record your thoughts on the food and how it felt to be more aware as you were eating it.

Edited by: SIRENALATINA at: 10/29/2009 (21:51)

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10/28/09 7:59 P

Very inspirational to me. I've started out very slowly. I love the daily journalizing that you are doing. Congrats.

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10/28/09 7:22 P

Day #20 100 Days of Weight Loss: The Secret to Being Successful On Any Diet Plan by Linda Spangle:

Half off special.

Control your portions by eating only half of what you normally would for each course of your meal. This way you have tasted the flavor of everything served, but aren't overdoing it on calories.

Never go back for seconds, ever. Determine your portions for foods like pizza before you eat. Most women should have 2 slices and males 3.

If you need more it may be a sign that you were very active or addicted to the flavor of the food - and not necessarily for fuel.

If you are still hungry then reach for a salad or vegetables instead of more pizza.

It can be uncomfortable to limit yourself to half of the foods you eat. Check for any emotional needs that you may be trying to fulfill with food instead.

For now concentrate on identifying if it's food you need for fuel or some issue in your life that is making you want to continue eating.

Today
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- Divide your food items today and only eat half.

- Do this exercise with five foods.

- Record your foods in your journal along with any comments on how it felt to only eat half.

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10/22/09 1:39 P

I am still on track with my 24 week fitness plan. I am so glad I took the time a few weeks ago to draft it. I needed to be sure to skillfully weave in P90x, InSaNiTy, 30-Day Shred, Cathe Friedrich weight lifting DVD's along with other random cardio here and there. It was a challenge to fit it all in to where it made sense and no overtraining would occur.

But, it's working great and now that I have time during the week to do this - while working from home.
As I said before, I can do it prior to logging on in the morning, or during my hour lunch break, or during any afternoon conference call where I have to just listen.

I really see now how much of a waste of time it can be to sit in an office all day when your job doesn't really require face to face meetings all the time. I don't need to see many people all the time. There may be a random meeting here and there, but not daily.

So, this lets me use my time more efficiently, so I don't have to spend all my nights always working out. I can knock it out during the day and still have all my work done.

When I think about all the time it takes to get ready in the morning, drive in traffic and sit around with constant interruptions, I am amazed more people don't push for this arrangement.

Not everyone's job can be done from home, but if it can, this is so much more efficient. I had no clue what I was missing.

I know I have said this before - but it is so true.

Edited by: SIRENALATINA at: 10/22/2009 (13:40)

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10/22/09 1:30 P

Day #19 100 Days of Weight Loss: The Secret to Being Successful On Any Diet Plan by Linda Spangle:

Eat reasonable amounts.

Make sure you know exactly how much food is in a serving size. Test yourself by guessing how much is in a cup or an ounce and then test it against the real measurement and food scale. It is very useful to know what a portion really is, so when you are out on your own you can make very educated guesses by looking at the food items before eating them.

Use the palm of your hand to measure nuts and other foods. It is related to your body build, so using your palm is a great tool to use.

Today
------
Test yourself. Take a few foods you want to eat and take a guess on their serving size and then take a food scale or measure cup and mesure it to see how close you were. It is a very eye-opening exercise to try.

Keep trying this with different foods and as often as needed until you sharpen your skills.

In your notebook keep track of your findings and jot down the serving sizes and portions of the foods you like to eat the most. especially items like nuts, chocolate, fruits, pastas. Items with high calories.

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10/20/09 11:13 P

Good work. I wish i were so dedicated.

current weight: 179.0

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10/20/09 9:52 P

I outlined a new revised 24 week program for myself that I have been following religiously. It's too long to post here. I wish we could add Excel sheets to these..

But, it's going great and incorporates all my DVD programs. The rotation is really good because it switches up my strength routine every 3-4 weeks.

I also have a mix of cardio programs including the InSaNiTy rotation and 30-Day Shred and so on.

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10/16/09 2:51 P

you are doing great...keep up the good work

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10/15/09 8:29 P

I felt good today because I was able to multi-task by working from home. I was able to join a phone conference where I was asked to only listen. So, I listened while working out! I set the phone to speaker and muted it and had my DVD for InSaNiTy and Biggest Loser all playing without the music and was able to listen to the call while following along. A very productive day!

I am taking advantage of being able to work remotely on some days so I can exercise more often and weave it in much better during work. All my work tasks get done, but instead of sitting around uselessly during some down time - I can workout and be productive!

All these other months before I worked remotely, I would finish my work and just sit on my butt in the office doing nothing. It was so useless and worthless. Now, I can get more done. I wish I would have negotiated this before.


Edited by: SIRENALATINA at: 10/15/2009 (20:32)

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10/15/09 8:25 P

Day #18 100 Days of Weight Loss: The Secret to Being Successful On Any Diet Plan by Linda Spangle:

Retrain eating habits.

Don't be afraid to throw excess food away or leave some on your plate when at home or in a restaurant. Leave a little bit behind each time you eat...and get used to not cleaning the plate.

Today
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- Recall all instances in your life where you were told to finish your food...and jot them down. Then think about how all these outdated messages of cleaning your plate don't apply to you anymore. That was then and now you are different.

- Come up with a new message/motto of "don't clean your plate anymore, just eat what is needed and take care of yourself."

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10/14/09 10:14 P

I restarted Jillian Michael's 30-Day Shred again. I have not done it since about February. I had moved on to other programs.

I am enjoying doing this again and it's hard! It's not any easier this time around. I do lift much heavier weights during the strength portions - 12-20 lbs. on some. You can't really lift too heavy because it is cardio and moves fast.

But, I am finding it challenging in a good way. It goes well together with InSaNiTy, which I am also working on.

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10/14/09 10:05 P

Day #17 100 Days of Weight Loss: The Secret to Being Successful On Any Diet Plan by Linda Spangle:

Stop Wasting Food.

Many of of grew up hearing that we should clean our plates and not waste food. It's food that could go to starving children in Africa and so on. So, we would be forced to continue eating even if we were full or were eating things we didn't like.

It is a waste to eat more than your body needs for fuel. If your body can't use it because it's an excess in calories - then that is wasting food.

You can get rid of leftovers by throwing it away or eating it or save it for another day.

Start to tell yourself that you will not waste food by forcing yourself to eat it after you have eaten your alloted food for the day.

Don't clean your plate anymore...there are other options for handling the excess food...1) prepare less, 2) store leftovers for later, 3) throw it away
anything but continue consuming and wasting it on yourself.

Today
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- Throw away some food you don't really need. By wasting it into the garbage, don't waste it into yourself.

- Jot in your journal some foods you threw away and how it felt. Add some thoughts about how you will continue doing this in the future.

- Jot down some ways you can avoid keeping excess food in the future.

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10/12/09 11:11 P

Day #16 100 Days of Weight Loss: The Secret to Being Successful On Any Diet Plan by Linda Spangle:

Nurturing Power of Food

First two bites are the most flavorful, as we learned from the previous lesson. The first two bites also make us feel better when we turn to food to comfort us. But eating more won't make you feel better when you are done.

When you turn to food for nurture and comfort, you get that reward in the first few bites, but usually start feeling worse and frustrated the more you eat.
Train yourself to feel better in just a few bites.

In training seminars, the author of this book teaches this lesson by handing out small chocolate chip cookies. She asks the audience to throw away the cookies after the first couple of bites. Over time people realize that you don't need more than that to feel better.

----
Today

Allow yourself to eat a decadent food you crave and have 2 bites of it. Don't feel guilty and jot down in your journal how it makes you feel during those first two bites.

Then throw away the rest. Realize that eating more won't make you feel more nurtured than you did with the initial bites.

Edited by: SIRENALATINA at: 10/12/2009 (23:14)

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10/12/09 4:00 P

Your title, "Peeling off my fat suit one calorie at a time" totally "sparked" my interest. Hurray for you for keeping such a great journal that allows you to work out what you are doing right, and what you want to change, and documenting your journey. You have inspired me to keep a similar record. Thank you, and wishing you the best.

current weight: 174.0

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10/11/09 10:49 P

Day #15 100 Days of Weight Loss: The Secret to Being Successful On Any Diet Plan by Linda Spangle:

First Two Bites.

Imagine eating any dessert you love. You take a bite and then another and keep going until it is all gone. But, did you realize that the most enjoyment and flavor were actually in the first few bites.

Eating more than the first few bites of that dessert is just feeding - and not a nutrionally healty feeding. You filled yourself with extra calories that did not really fill you up.

So, why not consider taking a few bites and enjoy the flavor, texture and smell and use your tastebuds in a way where you are appreciating the food, but not using it to fuel you - as it really does not contain a lot of nutrion.

Take a few bites and decide if it's worth it to continue eating the rest. Sometimes the food is worth finishing - but usually desserts and candies aren't any better if you finish them off.

Today
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-Choose one of your favorite foods and focus on all the details of the texture and flavor in the first two bites.

- After the first two bites, get rid of the rest of it and the record the details of the experience in your journal

- With any food you eat, pay attention to the first two bites and then compare the feeling and taste of those first two bites to the rest of the food. See how it compares...usually, the experience is not as special as you continue eating the food.

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10/11/09 4:37 P

Hmm! Is there a Narnia fan here or just coincidence?

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10/10/09 12:49 P

Day #14 100 Days of Weight Loss: The Secret to Being Successful On Any Diet Plan by Linda Spangle:

Morning Affects Evening.

If you have the munchies in the afternoon or find yourself getting easily fatigued later on in the day...it could all be related to what you did in the morning.

You should not surprise your stomach by not being consistent in eating - it secrets more stomach juices that linger and cause hunger pangs. If you eat more regularly, then you can retrain your stomach to handle hunger and food better.

If you eat more regularly, then your body won't be screaming for hunger later in the day.

Eat between 3 and 4 to keep the munchies and afernoon slump at bay.

You focus on healthier foods, but combine carbs and proteins. The proteins will slow down digestion - making you less hungry.

Ex. Eat an apple and a piece of cheese.

Today
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- Make it a point to eat breakfast daily - record what you eat in your journal

- You can split your breakfast into two meals - when you awake and then mid-morning

- Plan afternoon snacks and jot them down so you do not forget to eat them



Edited by: SIRENALATINA at: 10/10/2009 (12:50)

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10/10/09 12:38 A

Day #13 100 Days of Weight Loss: The Secret to Being Successful On Any Diet Plan by Linda Spangle:

Oops, I forgot to eat!

There are times when you have such a busy day that you forget completely to eat. You think about it and then grab something easy and not very nutritious - since it's what's available - perhaps a candy bar or a bag of chips.

Skipping meals doesn't help you lose weight because your body outsmarts you by saving/storing calories for later or having you eat too much later to compensate for the skipped meal.

Your body is very efficient at storing and using fuels, so it stores food if it feels it is not getting enouh food. So, skipping meals will only hurt your progress in the long-term and make it hard to coax your body into wanting to lose.

Diabetics need to eat regulary, and we should follow the eating patterns they do. Make it a habit to tell yourself..."I have no choice."

Convince yourself you must eat regularly, so you do whatever possible to eat routinely.

----
Today

- Write down the times of day when you plan to eat meals and snacks.

- Make an effort to eat within 30 minutes of those times. Review your pattern at the end of the day to see how close you came.

- If you tend to skip meals and snacks, set an alarm to remind you to eat.

-------
I plan to eat at 10am breakfast, 12:30pm lunch, 2:30 snack of some sort; 4:30 another snack of some sort; 6:30pm dinner; 8pm snack of some sort
-------

I actually stick to this and have made it a habit a while back to not go more than 3-4 hours before eating something with protein/carbs. So, I stay to this and my body reminds me. So, this lesson plan was easy to complete.

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10/9/09 11:35 P

Saw Valerie Bertinelli tonight on 20/20. Wow! She looks gorgeous, thin and her voice is youthful and she's 49! She also has kept her long hair, which I love on her.

A lot of women think they need to shorten the hair when they get older, but I see a few women here and there that choose to keep it long - and it looks great!

She is one of the ones that can pull it off.

I can only hope to even look remotely that good at 49. I also plan on keeping longer hair too. Nice to see someone else can do it and pull it off so well.

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10/9/09 11:29 P

Received my stability ball today from SP. It was my freebie for pre-ordering the Spark book.

So, it arrived and my husband and I had a funny time inflating it with the foot pump. It was hilarious because it was making a squeaking noise with each pump and I had to place a measuring tape around it to figure out how big it needed to be to reach 65cm.

It was supposed to come with a measuring strip you slip around to see how large it should be - but it was missing. So, we did some math and figured it need to be about 83 inches around.

Anyway, we inflated it and now it's sitting in the corner waiting to be used this weekend.

It also came with a DVD, which surprised me. I am going to try out that workout.

I tested the ball by sitting on it and it was fine - did not explode!

It's also pink - yay!

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10/8/09 10:15 P

ORGANICBEAUTY: You are very welcome in posting and joining in anytime you want on this journal. I made it public so people can read and learn from it - if they want. But, it's just a way for me to keep track of what I am going through, so I can look back later for future reference. I have a paper journal I sometimes use, but am on the computer so much more. This is very handy.

------
Nimbus is still doing well. Frankly, he's doing much better with the new medications - just like new. But, the cancer will spread at some point. Or maybe he will be the miracle dog? We'll see.

------

I started working from home today. I really enjoyed it and got more done than when I go to the office. No artificial lights, no loud copier noises and no people bugging me about stuff.

Apparently, some people in the office who sit near me were all upset or something because they were asking around. Good grief, don't people have anything better to do than to worry about what I am doing? LOL

The deal is, the higher ups know and the people who need to know when are where I am working from, all know where I am at all times. But, so far I am learning the ropes with the new position.

The best thing about working from home (which will be about 2-3 days a week, 1-2 days in the office and Friday's off). It's a loose schedule. The best thing is I can workout without having to run around from place to place and get ready and so on. Makes it easy to do it 2x a day and make it effective - while being productive at work.

Working from home really makes you feel more productive and gives you a feeling of well-being and you find yourself working more because the pressure of getting in the car and coming home is removed from the equation. Happy employees = productive employees.

So, this project may only last 12-18 months and then I finally leave once and for all from the company, or it could shoot off into other directions. Who knows.

But, now that I know what this is like - I can't go back to being in an office all the time. People who work remotely all the time got it right. So, once they tell me I can't do it anymore - I am outta there - lol.

But, I have enjoyed working for this company until the drama of this year. We'll see if this new situation makes things fun for me again.

So, I successfully completed an InSaNiTy workout and started 30-Day Shred again. Did both. Yay!

Edited by: SIRENALATINA at: 10/8/2009 (22:16)

current weight: 148.0

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Posts: 327
10/8/09 12:21 P

So sorry to hear abut your dog honey. I lost my dog a few years ago and I miss him still. they are beautiful little spirits sent to take care of us! We think we are taking care of then but it is the other way around!!!! :)
It will take some time, be gentle with yourself, but it will hurt less in time.
I have another Dog and while she is not the Dog I lost her spirit has found a place in my heart to.
My heart goes out to you...

As far as your most recent post?

I would agree , take others advice with a grain of salt.
Your body is a temple and it is different than mine and hers and everyones!!!!!
Listen to to and it will let you know.
I would agree I lose more eating foods I love then strictly clean.
Go figure?
I would also like to recommend Geneen Roth books.
I have recently read them and she talks about listening to your body and trusting it. I am doing just this and tracking and have finally seen the numbers on the scale go down.

Yaaaaaaaay.
I never thought I could trust my body.. but boy was I wrong.
I am going to do this for 30 days...
you can see in my most recent blog my shock at living like this.
I do not want to be a slave to food or the number on the scale any longer.
I love being smaller but I am taking this slow.
It is harder than I thought.
I thought I could cut calories, throw in some exercise and VOILA I would lose 2 lbs a week and be at GOAL.
Not so, my body has a different plan for me.

Good for you on listening to your body!!
You are an inspiration,,, and thanks for the compliment! You are so sweet.
xoxoxoxoxo
Alicia

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10/6/09 1:29 A

I have had to spend time dealing with my baby Nimbus (my dog)issues, so have had a hard time sticking to the plan in a "narrow path."

He is going to die and nothing's going to change that. We are keeping him really comfortable for now, but it's a matter of time before we have to put him to sleep. But, for now - he is still here.

Frankly, the exercise/goal path has been widened too much already. I am aware of it, have chosen to hold off a bit - and now am ready to get going again for sure.

I have had time to grieve and deal with the fact that Nimbus will die. I also need to keep going and learn to separate my own personal goals and well being from my surroundings.

I can't control everything else going on around me, so I need to keep going for myself and reach my goals and not let pitfalls stop me. I committed to this and need to finish it.

I can take 1 to 1.5 hours a day for myself and not let anything else going on in life get in the way of that time. I can deal with the rest the other 22.5 hours.

Time to tighten the reigns and go ahead and make it to the goal. I am so glad I set the goal date to April because I am still on track.


So, I have been keeping track of all my vital information and statistics in about 2-3 different sources. I have a paper journal that I have used on and off. I also have a calendar next to my scale that I have used to track of my weight on a daily basis. I also used it on various vacations this year to track what I was doing.

By piecing together that along with the tracking on here, I have to say that I saw the most progress around November 2008-April 2009.

I had progress before then, but that's when I was obese and weight fell off of me with anything I did.

But, around November I started seeing different kinds of results. I was showing more muscle and more abs and the fat off my stubborn thighs was noticeably less.

I was doing things then that I changed for no good reason...and probably shouldn't have.

I was burning more cardio calories, eating more and lifting moderate weights - but not heavy duty weights. I was focusing more on cardio and "cardio/weight circuits" with little heavy weight lifting...but more moderate weight training.

I was losing more fat during those months and got down to my smallest size so far - 139 lbs. My size 8 jeans were swimming on me! I was on my way to size 6!

It was around that time that I stopped what I was doing - lowered the cardio workouts due to some suggestions by various fellow SPr's. I listened because the comments were so convincing. They said cardio eats your muscle and is unnecessary..and weight lifting will have you losing fat faster and so on..

Well, that was not true at all for me.


I also upped the heavy weights at their suggestions. Well, I did see slightly more muscle definition, but the fat started creeping back on and never could I get back down to the 139 lbs.

I think I made a mistake by listening to other people.

Having more muscle did not lower my fat % that much at all. I did not notice more calorie burning during the day. I actually have fat covering the muscle and the fat is not coming off.

I am eating more too because weight lifting increased my appetite unbelievably more than cardio ever did. I was better able to control my eating when focusing more on cardio.

I also started eating clean (healthier natural foods)at the same people's suggestions..and have not noticed any differences between eating clean with lower carbs..versus more carbs with some frozen foods thrown in.

It does not make a difference to my body at all if I eat clean or not - well, in terms of losing fat and gaining muscle (I can't speak for long-term effects).

I have spent 10 months trying each method (5 months eating totally clean and 5 months eating somewhat clean but more focus on calorie control) and no real difference at all for me.

I actually did so much better when I enjoyed the foods more and didn't get so hung up on all the "fresh, natural foods with so many protein grams and no sugar and so on."

I am going to keep on lifting some weights, but am upping the calorie burn again and am going to replicate what I was doing during those "magical" months and we will see what I come up with.

I have my plan all drawn up. It basically incorporates more cardio with a combination of circuit training, InSaNiTy HIIT, and some P90x and Cathe Friedrich weight lifting, but the key is in more cardio and more moderate weight lifting for me.

I now know what my body responds to and it's just not happening with mostly weight lifting and strict clean eating with low carbs. I need carbs and lost the most weight when I was eating more carbs and still incorporating chocolate. I find that interesting.

I also noticed that I lost the most weight when exercising at night versus in the morning only. I think a combination of changing it up - some days in the morning, some days in the afternoon and some at night work the best for me. That's what I was doing during those months.

I find this very interesting and the reason I know all this is because I tracked it all.

So, start tracking everything now, if you aren't already. You are your own lab experiment and you need data to replicate results or to dismiss ideas and theories you have about your bodily responses.

Now, don't get me wrong - weight lifting has been nice because I can do pull-ups and one-armed push-ups and the definition is nice, but I wasn't at the point where I needed to go all out on weight lifting. I think that is best reserved for when you are really close to your fat % goal. This business of weight lifting taking care of your last 10-20 lbs. was not true for me.

I need to get down to the ideal body fat % with cardio and moderate weights and calorie control. Then I can worry about heavy duty weight lifting and be very careful with eating at that point.

But, I jumped the gun too fast and should not have cut back on that cardio at that time. That was a huge mistake for me. Now that I have developed a serious muscle base - I can cut back on it for now and repump the atrophied muscle quickly later on due to muscle memory.

Muscle comes back quickly if you work at it, but it's the fat that is hard to get off. It needs serious work.

At least that is what I experienced. It takes me about 2-3 months to get serious muscle definition.

Edited by: SIRENALATINA at: 10/6/2009 (01:38)

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10/6/09 12:59 A

I went ahead and ordered the Spark book and received some additional goodies. The book paid for itself, since I basically received a $20 SP gift certificate. So, for $13 for the book...I also ordered a free stability ball (I have been wanting one) and 1,000 SP points and will be entered in drawings for some free stuff. I may not win anythin else, but the book is basically paid for.

I won't receive it until January. I wish I could get it now.



Edited by: SIRENALATINA at: 10/6/2009 (00:59)

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10/4/09 7:53 P

Day #12 100 Days of Weight Loss: The Secret to Being Successful On Any Diet Plan by Linda Spangle:

Fuel or Filler.

You need to focus more on eating healthier foods that are used for fuel. Filler foods that contain empty calories should be reserved to be the "for taste and flavor" only foods, where you have them in smaller quantities. The fruits, vegetables, lean meats and nuts should be the main food for fueling your daily activities and workouts.

Today
---------
In your journal record what you are eating daily and determine if it's fuel or filler and write it down next to each food.

Determine what needs to be changed to switch your filler foods to fuel foods.

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10/2/09 11:09 A

I LOVE THE TITLE OF YOUR MESSAGE BOARD

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10/2/09 10:57 A

Day #11 100 Days of Weight Loss: The Secret to Being Successful On Any Diet Plan by Linda Spangle:

Two purposes of food.

Food is very enjoyable and you can lose weight while enjoying the taste of food. But, it needs to be placed in its proper place.

From now on, plan that you will eat for two reasons:

1) To fuel your body
2) To appreciate flavors

Measure your food intake against these two measures. If you are placing food in your mouth that does not fit either of these two categories - then you are probably emotionally eating.

Fuel your body.

Just like a car, your body needs a high quality fuel for its daily needs. Make the fueling of your body top priority. Start by fueling 5-6 times a day - spread out. Don't run on empty, so be sure to keep yourself reasonably fueled.

Eat more often.

Don't skimp and skip any meals no matter how busy your day is. Be sure to have small regular meals throughout the day. Research has shown that small frequent meals help people stay on treack and lose more weight than people who eat fewer meals.

Today
----
- In your notebook track down anything you eat and the time you ate it. Count up at the end of the day how many times you fueled up.

- Plan ways to space out your fuel times

- Keep track to see if your frequent meals are giving you more energy throughout the day


Edited by: SIRENALATINA at: 10/2/2009 (10:59)

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10/2/09 10:43 A

Okay, so we took Nimbus to a new vet because our original vet severely misdiagnosed him with bone cancer without any x-rays, tests.

At her suggestion, he would have been put to sleep 2 weeks ago. We are so mad that she was quick to do this and we almost did what she said.

He since developed a collapsed trachea and now the new vet is managing that with some medications that seem to be working.

The biopsy the new vet took does show cancer on his leg, but a soft tissue kind that can be managed with the medications. Not as aggressive as the bone cancer. He also has healthy lungs and the cancer has not spread yet.

So, here we are waiting and keeping his comfortable. Surgery and chemo. is not an option due to his old age of 12 years. So, we are doing what we can with benign pills.

Edited by: SIRENALATINA at: 10/2/2009 (10:47)

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9/27/09 10:49 P

Day #10 100 Days of Weight Loss: The Secret to Being Successful On Any Diet Plan by Linda Spangle:

Appreciate good support.
Share with your supportive friends and family what you are doing to avoid pitfalls and tell them about your experiences. Remind them that what they can actually see is only a small part of your plan. But only share this with people who are truly supportive of you.

Learn to accept compliments and do not minimize the comments by saying things like "yes, I've lost some, but have a lot more to go." Say instead "it means a lot to me for you to say that."

Don't set them up.
Avoid asking people things they don't know how to answer:

- Does this dress make me look fat?
- Can you tell I've lost any weight?
- Does my stomach fat bother you?

People know these types of questions will get them in trouble whether they answer truthfully or not. Deal with your own insecurities without punishing your support group.

---
Today ask a family member or friend compliment you on something and learn to take the compliment graciously. Prepare a list of replies.

Jot down your favorite responses in your notebook.

Replies:

"Thank you so much for noticing, I have been working on it."

" You really made my day, thank you"

"That is so kind of you, you look great today too"

----------

Days 1-10 completed. You've come a long way in the first 10 days - don't stop now. Keep going and push yourself to finish one more day.

Just one more day!

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9/26/09 3:14 P

Day #9 100 Days of Weight Loss: The Secret to Being Successful On Any Diet Plan by Linda Spangle:

Here's what I want.

Today's lesson involves answering some questions to a quiz regarding what you want to have others say to you - specifically. Read these out to people you have around you and post the list on your fridge.

1) If you see me eating something not on my plan
either:

(x) Ask me if I should be eating that
- Ignore me entirely
- ask me if I've had a bad day
- Give me a hug

2) When I'm making progress, such as losing weight

- Compliment me on how I look; Praise me in front of others
(x) Never comment on my progress in front of others
- Give me non-food gifts or rewards

3) When I'm struggling or gaining weight

(x) Tell me you notice and really care about my struggle
- Ignore it entirely
- Hug me and show me extra affection
- Ask me how you can help

4) When I'm making progress you can't see (such as improving my self esteem)

(x) Ask me how my efforts are going
- Compliment me on how I look
- Ignore my efforts and my changes
- Give me non-food gifts or rewards

5) When I've maintained my weight (even though I may still want to lose more)

- Tell me you are proud of my current efforts
- Ignore the subject entirely
- Ask me if I'm struggling or feeling discouraged
(x) Compliment me on my looks and my efforts

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9/26/09 1:36 P

So, I have been noticing the last week or so - even though I have been loosely following my plan - that my legs feel much firmer. Yes, the fat on my thighs and butt is a lot and it's still there, but it feels firmer. Before it was looser and jiggled more, but it all feels more solid.

I have to attribute it to Shaun T.'s InSaNiTy.

I also feel that my legs have gotten bigger - actually they have. But, it feels like there is more muscle on my thigs and butt. It's weird because usually I felt the fat more and the muscle was buried.

The fat layer is there, but the muscle is also way more visible. I can't describe it except to say the muscle may have grown and pushed the fat up against my skin, so it's tight - like when you see a tightly rolled sushi roll - like one with eel. Eel is fatty, but when tightly wrapped - it all feels firmer and not as loosely squishy.

I do think I have grown in size, so I need to get that down again. But, some of it is definitely because of muscle growth. It's been a week since I did any major exercise (a few things here and there over the last week), so am not sure why that happened.

But, I have noticed it.

If I can just strip the fat off instead, then I will be very happy. So, that's the plan - scrape that fat off.

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9/26/09 1:29 P

I mentioned that I spun a $20 SP gift certificate a week or so ago. I ordered the lunchbox and was told it was backordered. However, I now received a notification that it has been shipped and should be here in a few days. I might take a picture and post it somewhere. I get lazy with picture taking.

But, that's the second goodie I have spun since last April. I spin daily too.

I spun 500 goodie points a long time ago.

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9/26/09 1:23 P

So, baby Nimbus is doing well on the pain medication (Tramadol). He is not limping at all and is running around like usual again. It's hard to believe he has bone cancer. We are watching his quality of life, but as long as he is asking for stomach rubs and peanut butter, I have to keep him going.

Maybe he will be the miracle dog that lasts years. The vet said he would not live more than 3 months without treatment because this spreads into the organs and all. But, for now - he is doing fine and shows no suffering at all.

I hope he is the exception, but we shall see. It's been a hard week and an emotional rollercoaster.

With work, I decided to stay at my current company because they made it impossible to leave and were being so nice about the whole thing. I get to move into a new position that sounds interesting - doing completely new things and I can work from home 2 days a week, in the office 2 days and I get Friday's off. Can't beat that!

This year I had a lot of work changes and I was sick of being left out to float around aimlessly, but they seem to have found a direction for me that actually means a lot because it entails tracking down commissions, so it affects our bottom line. If I am helping them collect profits, that should be good for a while.

The plan is for this project to last a year or maybe 2, but that's okay with me if it ends then. I was going to leave now anyway, so an extension is fine.

We'll see how that goes. The good thing is that now I can actually get things done around the house and run some errands I stressed over because I had to physically be sitting at my desk. So, now I can meet my fitness goals by working out at home easily, deal with my dying dog, deal with errands and chores and deal with contractors for our remodeling efforts - all while working.

I will do a great job for them as soon as I am trained and know what I am doing..lol.

Okay, so now it's time to get back to business and reach this goal. I am still on target as planned by April 19, 2010. I knew I needed to set a "wider path" as my lesson plans suggest. Things in life happen and sometimes you have to place this on the back burner, just always go back to it and don't let it go.

So, I am starting back up again full force.


Edited by: SIRENALATINA at: 9/26/2009 (13:25)

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9/23/09 1:46 P

Okay, I have been loosely following my program - the wider path and not posting as frequently because I had to work out my work deal. It turned out to be a great deal after all, so I am staying, but without having to sacrifice quality of life.

But, as with everything in life - there is always something bad that has to also happen. I am very sad this week because my dog was diagnosed with bone cancer and it's not treatable for him at his age - 12.

Amputation and chemothrapy could give him a 5% survival rate and maybe for one more year. It doesn't seem worth it for him or for us. I hate it, but he's limping and slow with eating. Otherwise okay.

So, the vet suggested to put him to sleep this week, so my baby Nimbus may be gone this week. My husband is so upset also.

So, we are spending time with him and have made that a prioroty. I am not losing sight of my goals, but have them loosely in the background until this week passes and will take control again this weekend.

We are also going to be getting another baby probably.I am trying to distract my husband by looking at new breeders and possibilities. Nimbus is helping us pick out "Nimbus 2.0."

So, that's why I haven't been on here much.

current weight: 148.0

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9/21/09 4:55 P

Day #8 100 Days of Weight Loss: The Secret to Being Successful On Any Diet Plan by Linda Spangle:

I need help please..
People surrounding you can be a detriment, as much as a helpful tool to keep you on track. Some make comments about your looks, weight and/or diet that can be hurtful and/or helpful. You need to decide how you want to "train" those around you to help you out with your goals.

Let them know if you want them to stop commenting or if you want them to start encouraging you. You have to tell them exactly what to do and what to say that will make you more comfortable.

If they eat trigger foods in your presence, tell them it bothers you and ask them if they could eat them at another time - away from you.

You have to be specific because they do not even realize how you feel about this.

---
Write in your journal a list of comments people can say to you that will always be welcome in regards to your weight loss efforts.

Create another list of things you do not want them to say..

Then take this list and read it to the people around you, so they know what is okay and what is not ok.

Okay list:

- Compliment overall looks
- Agree with eating at the places I suggest
- Compliment any muscle development they notice
- Ask nicely about my program and/or food
- Silence - don't mention anything at all

Not okay list:

- Question my every eating habit - "why do you eat this and why that"
- Push food of any kind on me
- Make negative comments about my progress
- Get in my way when I try to exercise
- Don't stop me when I am about to make a bad decision (this is for my husband only!)
- Make a big deal about my "lifestyle" when in front of others
- Say the word "DIET"
- Ask me how much I weigh

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9/20/09 10:29 P

Thank you so very much for going into such precise detail in some of these entries. Your input is fantastic! I wasn't able to read all of your entries, but I'll definitely be back tomorrow.

I especially enjoyed the advice on "protecting your program."

Congratulations on your accomplishments!

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9/19/09 12:14 P

I am at the beach - Destin, FL this weekend, so am keeping a "wider path" because of the unknown calories in foods. Sticking to salads and crab legs (no butter) and things like that. Drinking my water and so on. I also made Saturday my off day, so I can better stay on track. Exercised yesterday and will tomorrow night after we get back home.

I also spun the wheel on Sparkpeople's log in page and won a $20 gift certificate. So, I bought a SP lunch box. I will need that for work, so that was nice to receive it free.


Edited by: SIRENALATINA at: 9/19/2009 (21:21)

current weight: 148.0

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9/19/09 12:09 P

Day #7 100 Days of Weight Loss: The Secret to Being Successful On Any Diet Plan by Linda Spangle:

You can do it!
A whole week has gone by. Don't be afraid of the old patterns of failure surfacing. Today you are invincible, strong and different.

Be your own cheerleader by saying things like:
- I am totally determined
- I have done it before and can do it again
- I am using a great plan this time
- I am capable of accomplishing anything
- Others have done it and so can I

Reinforce yourself by saying these things daily.

Inspire yourself:
Look at other people's stories that have succeeded. Read and see their successes. If they can do it, so can you.

If you need to, post sticky notes all over that say "I can do this". Remind yourself constantly of this fact.

----
Today say to yourself "I can do this" at least 10 times. Cheerlead yourself.

Today write a few phrases starting with "I can do it because..." and finish those phrases.

Say those phrases often to reinforce your positive attitudes..

"I can do this because - I am strong"
"I can do this because - I am determined"
"I can do this because - I am tired of failing"
"I can do this because - I have come so far already - might as well finish"
"I can do this because my program is flexible and easy to follow"
"I can do this because it's the right thing to do"

Edited by: SIRENALATINA at: 9/19/2009 (12:10)

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9/19/09 11:39 A

Day #6 100 Days of Weight Loss: The Secret to Being Successful On Any Diet Plan by Linda Spangle:

Protect your program.

Nobody cares as much as you do about the program you have committed to follow. Stay away from situations where you will be seriously testing your willpower. Don't count on others to help you stay on track. Protect your program by being careful as to which situations you will be exposed to.

A way to protect yourself from a "food pusher" is to say..."not just yet, I'll eat in a little while." Keep repeating this anytime someone offers you food at a time you are not ready to eat. Do not let them tempt you. The magic phrase gives them the hint that you'll eat eventually, so they will stop pushing you at that moment.

Use this phrase anytime you are at a social gathering and someone is trying to push. You can go the entire party without eating a thing by saying this. Most people won't notice you didn't eat.

For desserts say the same thing and just slip away before dessert and so on.

Don't discuss your eating program with people. If someone engages you, just say you are "following a healthy lifestyle."

On weekends or times when you may have periods of boredom and want to look to eat, keep yourself busy with other thing and say to yourself..

"I will protect my program at all costs!"
---------
Today find chances to use the line "not just yet, I will eat in a little while"

Identify three high risk times that you will be tempted to have food and jot down in your notebook how you will stop yourself from eating..

1) Thanksgiving - "say the line not just yet, I will eat in a little while" and only eat half a plate of the buffet and only eat one time...not go back for more. Also exercise that day.

2) Christmas - same thing as Thanksgiving

3) Birthday parties - drink something and keep that in hand the entire time and talk to people. Stay away from the the food table and eat before coming to the party.

Remember to "protect your program at all costs" whenever someone tries to tempt you. Nobody else cares and nobody else will be with you when you are exercising and working hard to improve. They don't know what it's like and they don't really care...so I have to do this for myself and by myself.


Edited by: SIRENALATINA at: 9/19/2009 (11:40)

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9/17/09 9:26 P

Day #5 100 Days of Weight Loss: The Secret to Being Successful On Any Diet Plan by Linda Spangle:

Magic notebook.

Journal your thoughts and actions to help keep you on track, as well as give insight into any emotional eating issues, patterns you have. Track your ideas on foods and exercises, to establish a pattern.
Do as much as you want, or as little as you want.

Eat it another time.
Just because you think about a certain food, you don't have to eat it that day. You can jot down your feelings regarding this craving, and recording it will keep it on "hold" for you to come back to it later. You transfer your craving from your head to the notebook for safe keeping.

Describe the food and anticipate eating it later in the future.

Observe food cues by writing them down, but don't act on them right away. Let them go. If you walk into a movie theater - notice the smells of the foods and ponder them as long as you want, but walk away. Save it for later or forget about it.

Say something to yourself like "Popcorn smells good, but I am not going to eat any right now. I'll postpone it for another day." Jot that down and come back to it when you think about popcorn again.

--------
Start your "magic notebook" (I started one months ago) and whenever you think about a certain food you want, write in down. Describe it.

Plan to eat it another day/time. Jot down how much you will have and how often you will fit it into your program.

Stretch the times out of how often you will have it. After a while, you may not even want it anymore. If you do, that's okay - but try to limit how often and how much of it you indulge in.

My weakness tends to be with chocolate - especially Reese's cups minis. I can indulge in a single serving bag of the mini's once every 2 weeks - 360 calories. I can fit that into the program.

Edited by: SIRENALATINA at: 9/17/2009 (21:29)

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9/16/09 11:06 P

Day #4 100 Days of Weight Loss: The Secret to Being Successful On Any Diet Plan by Linda Spangle:

Boundaries, not diets!

People focus too much on thinking they will eat within a "diet" plan, and tend to follow it too rigidly. So, if they fall off the wagon, they take an all or nothing approach and go way off. So, they are in a perpetual state of following a restricted plan, and then going off of it and ruining the entire process. It's a circular pattern that goes nowhere.

Boundaries define your diet. Instead of following a specific, rigid "diet" look at it more as setting boudaries for your eating plan. It is a lifestyle change, not a "diet".

Look at your plan as a path you are taking and staying within the path..not going off on the brushy sides. These boundaries stay flexible, as long as you stay within the general direction of the path.

When you are having a focused, good week - you narrow the path. But, when you are having a harder week, you widen the boundaries of the path, but still stay on it. This flexibility allows for unexpected events to take place - but still heading towards your destination.

These flexible boundaries allow for you to live life, but not be punished. You won't be so burdened with rules.

So, stop punishing yourself every single time you fall off the wagon - just establish a path, and set some flexible boundaries that can be contracted and expanded depending on what is happening in your life.

---------
Today create two columns: One side is labeled "narrow road" for your weight loss plan and the other is labeled "wider road" for your maintenance or alternative eating.

Then define your plans for each of these headings. Decide on ways you can flexible with them while staying the course..

NARROW PATH:

1) Exercise 6x a week to burn 3,000 calories
2) Eat within 1600-1800 calories daily
3) Eat at least 130 grams of protein daily
4) Include strength training at least 3x a week
5) Reach goal by April 19, 2009

WIDER PATH:

1) Fit in exercise in 10 minute increments, if needed throughout the week. If something unexpected happens, there's always tomorrow. Make it up by doing more the next day...or by eating less. Don't flip out, just do as much as you can.

2) If I go over on calories one day, I can adjust later on by eating less and/or exercising more. Maybe do more HIIT to burn more in less time.

3) This should not be a problem, so make sure that protein is spread out during the day. If I go below one day...make up for it later in the day or next day. Not the end of the world if I get less one day...versus another one.

4) If I can't fit it in with real weights, then do push-ups and sit-ups and squats - bodyweight exercises can be done anywhere. Strength does not mean it always has to be weights..there are other options.

5) I have given myself 7 more months to reach goal. BUT, if I don't make it, I can always adjust the date. It's just a date. I am aiming for it because it marks 2 years since starting my weight loss..but it can always be May or June...as long as I am closer by then, I can't complain too much.

Basically, the lesson plan is saying to stay on track, follow your set plan. But, if something truly goes wrong...you get up and keep going and allow for flexibility. You can adjust and rework anything, as needed - but keep going!



Edited by: SIRENALATINA at: 9/16/2009 (23:08)

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9/15/09 11:05 P

Day #3 100 Days of Weight Loss: The Secret to Being Successful On Any Diet Plan by Linda Spangle:


Do it anyway.

Do not slip from committed back to interested if you don't feel like taking action and leading the healthy lifestyle on any particular day. You may not feel like going to work or changing dirty diapers, but you do it anyway. You need to exercise and eat right and follow your committed goals even when you don't feel like it.

"Committed means doing it anyway"

Focus on your actions and not your mood or feelings towards it. On days you don't want to follow the plan, do it anyway.

Remember you will do it anyway - if you are truly committed.

People who are committed keep going in spite of challenges or setbacks...

-------
Today identify something in your goals that you don't feel like doing - and do it anyway.

- Notice how it feels to accomplish a goal by taking a "no matter what approach to it"

- Make a list of action plans to stick with today, regardless of how you feel at the moment.

1) Grocery shopping even though it's raining. Did it anyway and am so glad because I now have certain staple foods available for the rest of the week to make it easier to follow my high protein plan.

2) Do this lesson plan, even though I am tired and sore from exercising and watching Big Brother finale. I am taking action and following my lesson plan today between commercial breaks.

3) Need to get up early on Thursday to get my nails done after work - before I leave for the weekend. I do not like getting them done - feels like a chore. But, will do it.


Edited by: SIRENALATINA at: 9/16/2009 (10:42)

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9/15/09 5:08 P

I started P90x again in a new form - I will alternate weekly strength training programs for each of the major muscle groups, so I am doing something different each week. So, my chest & back was yesterday with P90x Phase 1 - all this week will be P90x and then next week one of Cathe Friedrich's routines for the week and so forth.

Anyway., I have not done P90x in months and months. I kept using Plyometrics for cardio, but nothing else. For those of you who are not familiar with this one DVD in the set - it is basically mostly push-ups and pull-ups and a couple of weight exercises (maybe 3).

OMG, I am so sore today!!!! I completed 24 sets of various push-ups and pull-ups with different stances and grips..BUT, I am sore, sore, sore. I think this workout is fabulous, but is missing one important exercise - superman/and or deadlifts. I think I might do some supermans today to make sure I have that good back workout for the lower back.

Besides that, wow it gets you the next day. I am stunned at how sore I am right now.

Edited by: SIRENALATINA at: 9/15/2009 (17:13)

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9/15/09 12:11 A

Day #2 100 Days of Weight Loss: The Secret to Being Successful On Any Diet Plan by Linda Spangle:

Interested or committed?

Being interested in your weight loss means you work on it until something better comes along causing you to fall off the wagon. Then you blame your failure on circumstances or other people. You depend too much on visible results to keep you going.

Being committed means nothing will detract you from your goals. You stick with it "no matter what." You work on keeping consistency and motivation your goals without regardless of immediate visible results. You know results will eventually happen and you do not blame it on circumstances or other people.

I need to move from an interested approach to a committed "no matter what" approach even if I have daily challenges and unsupportive people around me.

Today's lesson plan is to demonstrate how I will be committed by describing what I will do differently - and to actually take action by doing something today I wasn't in the mood to do:
---------

Decided that I will be committed to my weight loss goal no matter what by creating an exercise calendar that incorporates both strength training and cardio exercises for the next 12 weeks - and plot them out in my paper journal.

I will cut back on the amount of cardio that has always caused me to burn out - and will create a more doable routine that will keep me challenged and coming back for more without giving up, even if this means slower progress.

Today I demonstrated that I have committed to my goal "no matter what" by making myself break the path of less resistance (of non-exercise) and started a new round of P90x to be combined with InSaNiTy cardio and Cathe Friedrich strength DVD's.

I made myself start fresh even though I have been going through some stress with decisions about work.

My schedule for the next 12 weeks will continue as planned a while back, but I will stick to it more consistently with the following rough schedule:

Monday - chest & back strength
Tuesday - cardio
Wednesday - arms & shoulders
Thursday - cardio
Friday - legs & back & cardio
Saturday - off
Sunday - cardio & some form of resistance

The routines I use will include P90x for one week, Cathe Friedrich Slow & Heavy one week and Cathe Friedrich Gym Styles one week and alternate between them in some form - we'll see how I work it in. Cardio will consist of InSaNiTy mainly.

I do feel InSaNiTy is missing strength training, so I have to integrate these systems. I feel it is the right thing to do for maximum results.
----

Today's lesson plan really affects me - since I tend to start my programs and then fall off the wagon. The only reason I have actually seen some results is because I keep getting back on the wagon, so am getting there slowly. Had I stuck to my original plan, I would have been at goal earlier this year. I have let too many negative thoughts, negative people and negative situations get in my way. I need to be more committed "no matter what."

Edited by: SIRENALATINA at: 9/16/2009 (10:41)

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9/13/09 9:46 P

Okay, pushing aside my decisions regarding work (which today a friend reminded me I have all the power because I can give the new job a try and just leave for real whenever it gets bad, so staying for a while won't kill me) I am starting my 100 days of weight loss lesson plans.

I mentioned in an earlier post that I was starting this book and I kept putting it off. I need to start now and not waste anymore time..

100 Days of Weight Loss: The Secret to Being Successful On Any Diet Plan by Linda Spangle

So, here is:


Change your thinking. Just because something has happened a certain way in the past, does not mean it will happen the same way moving forward. Each time you try will be different.

"I used to be that way, but now I'm different."
--------------
Make a list of any fears or negative behaviors that have hurt your weight-loss success in the past. Read each one out loud. and then say, "I used to be that way, but now I'm different."

- Loss of control/motivation
- Emotional eating even when not hungry
- Give up on challenges when they get too tough
- Self-sabotage when I get closer to goal
- Too much exercise to the point of crankiness and giving up
- Care too much what other people think

---------

Then write new endings for them by completing the this sentence:

I used to __________ (fill in your old behavior), but now I_____________(write your new ending).

Read these new outcomes often, and then live in a way to make them true.

-----------

#1) I used to think that there was not point to losing anymore fat because nobody else cares what I do, but now I see that I care - and that's all that matters.

#2) I used to self-sabotage whenever I got close to my goal weight, but now I will keep going until the I reach that magical goal.

#3) I used to eat whenever I was bored or upset about something, but now I find other ways to distract myself with non-food items.

#4) I used to make myself exercise for hours at a time, but now I exercise in a more sustainable fashion that keeps me coming back without giving up.

#5) I used to look in the mirror and be disgusted with any excess fat I saw, but now I see that I am healthier than I was and am happy to see the progress I made.

#6) I used to worry that I gain weight back after a while on my plan, but now I will keep a record of my progress on this community journal to keep myself on track.

#7) I used not finish my goals and challenges and give up, but I am going to finish them this time - it's my last chance to make it happen.

#8) I used to have trouble falling asleep (making me cranky and tired the next day), but I am now taking sleeping aides if needed. I now make sure I get enough sleep.

#9) I used to worry that I had to talk about my weight loss and eating routine with my family, but now I eat what and when I want no matter what they say or do - I am in control - not them.

#10) I used to worry about hitting rock bottom and failing, but now I know I have complete control over my life/body - and can do anything I want.

--------
Also found out that I was Spark Motivator for the day. I didn't think much of it, but then a ton of messages poured in. If am able to help anyone, then I am so glad. But, I definitely am not like a Super Woman just cracking through this. I have had many pitfalls and self-sabotages along the way - way more than I would like...

So, that has to stop and I need to just keep plugging along because now that I have gotten this far, I can't let it all slip away now.

"I used to self-sabotage and fall off the wagon each week, but now I am going to stop that self-destructive behavior starting now."

I used to be that way, but now I am different.

Edited by: SIRENALATINA at: 9/16/2009 (10:43)

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9/12/09 11:24 P

Well, it looks like my work wants me to stay and has mentioned the possibility of a brand new position that was approved and now they want me to reconsider leaving.

This makes it so much harder for me, since I already had my mind made up to leave and start something new. I thought it could happen, but was hoping they would just wish me well and send me on my way.

So, I am going to listen to what they have to say on Monday and decide. But, I am leaning towards just leaving and moving on with new things in my life.

My mind was already made up and I think that deep down inside I really am ready to walk away.

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9/10/09 11:16 P

I officially turned in my notice at work today, but need to go back in on Monday to discuss it in person. I am hoping Monday will be the last day, but we'll see if they actually want me to be there for the full two weeks.

I also got a call today from the literacy volunteer organization to come and help them out. I was not able to since I was working, but will be ready to start in a few weeks after I get myself situated with my home schedule. It's an organization where I will be able to help adults learn how to read documents that will help them get a job, etc. I think that will be a nice organization to work with.

I had to do it via email, which sucks. But, it was a stressful day because it's a big step for me to make a decision like this and just do it.

So, tomorrow will be my start day of the 100 days lesson plans from the book I mentioned yesterday. I was not up to it today.

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9/10/09 1:43 A

As I mentioned, I just purchased a book called:

100 Days of Weight Loss: The Secret to Being Successful On Any Diet Plan by Linda Spangle

A Daily Motivator. The idea of this book is to follow in her 100 days of lessons to keep you from being an emotional eater. It's suppose to help and teach you things about your habits - and how to change them. You stick to it for the full 100 days.

I am an emotional eater and I want to stop. So, I have been incorporating the Gabriel Method with this book - to help work through these issues.

They both talk about visualizing yourself thin, healthy and the size you want to be. Spangle suggests buying some jeans you would like to fit in to and have them as a reminder. I definitely have those, as we all as a picture in my paper journal of the the body I want - (Jon Gabriel's suggestion is to look at it and visualize becoming like that).

So, I would like to track my 100 days here in this journal. I want to have all my main points all here in one place, so I can reference them more easily later on.

---
The book takes you first to www.thedietquiz.com to determine what type of program is best for you. Spangle emphasizes that you choose your own eating plan. The link helps you determine this based on your answers to a few questions.

I ended up with mostly B's, so that means higher protein and lower carbs like these:

• South Beach Diet
• The Formula (40-30-30)
• The New Glucose Revolution
• Zone Diet

I don't follow a specific eating plan, but am eating more protein and lower carbs. So, I think I am okay if I stick with what I am doing. I don't think the type of food I eat is the problem - it's quantity.
-------

The next instruction is to keep track of your magical 100 days of assignments in a notebook/journal. I have this one on SP, as well as my personal paper version.

--------

Now, I need to express 10 reasons I want to lose the last 25-30 lbs. and maintain:

1) Show off my extreme muscle development
2) Become healthier overall
3) Feel energized
4) Feel stronger
5) Be the envy of others wishing they were this fit
6) Finish challenge of losing the weight - I did it!
7) Improve self esteem
8) Be more confident in all situations
9) Fit into a size 4/6 jeans
10)Be able to train for some event...not sure which one yet.

* The instructions are to tape this list to a mirror and the refrigerator and carry it with you on a card - as a daily and constant reminder. Do this for 1-2 weeks.

If you start waivering - say to yourself you are sticking to the plan and these 10 reasons are why you are doing this..
--------

Interestingly, the book recommends using the scale daily. Most people think the scale is worthless and use it less often. You are encouraged to determine how many times you and/or when you want to weigh yourself and commit to it. Daily is recommended. I tend to do daily anyway, but it is not fun to watch.
I think I may stick to weekly - Friday's.
-------

(I will start with Day 1 tomorrow or Friday - we'll see)






Edited by: SIRENALATINA at: 9/13/2009 (21:48)

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9/10/09 1:00 A

My current measurements:

Waist: 28.5 inches
Hips: 38.5 inches
Neck: 12 inches
Calf: 16 inches
Thigh: 23 inches
Wrist: 6.25 inches

Waist to Hip Ratio: .74 (says I am pear shaped)

Body fat: 24%

(I do not include bust size - too upsetting - haha)

Edited by: SIRENALATINA at: 9/10/2009 (01:02)

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9/10/09 12:24 A

Interesting points and facts about my progress since last April 19, 2008 using my Taylor brand body fat scale:

4/19/2008 - 214 lbs. 45% fat
9/09/2009 - 150 lbs. 24% fat

4/19/2009 - 30 minutes exercise bike - barely
9/09/2009 - 30-90 minutes HIIT w/ 2lb weighted gloves

3/01/2009 - 0 pull-ups
9/09/2009 - 6 pull-ups

3/01/2009 - 1 push-up on toes - real push-up
9/09/2009 - 40 on toes and with one arm

3/01/2009 - 8 lbs. shoulder presses
9/09/2009 - 35 lbs.

3/01/2009 - 8 lbs. bicep curls
9/09/2009 - 27.5 lbs.

3/01/2009 - 15 lbs. deadlift
9/09/2009 - 50 lbs.

3/01/2009 - 5 lbs. triceps
9/09/2009 - 15-20 lbs.



Edited by: SIRENALATINA at: 9/10/2009 (01:00)

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9/9/09 11:57 P

One more thing is that my arm muscles feel harder than they were. I can feel a big difference on my shoulders, chest, tricep and bicep. I can also do more pull-ups than before. I think some progress is being made on my upper body.

The problem I see is the abs and lower body. I have a hard time developing more muscle on my legs because it seems that it takes a lot to get them to be sore. They are strong already and even using the pre-exhaust method doesn't work much.

The main issue is I collect all my fat there, so need to really get it off to show the hiding muscles.

So, I need to focus more on my lower body and focus on cutting my boday fat %.

Now that I will have more time - means I will have more control over the foods I eat, shop for and the time I can dedicate to my weight lifting.

I plan on using the sticky notes method I have seen in some books and articles. I need to leave notes on my trigger foods (my husband likes some of these), so I shame myself into not wanting them at all when I reach for them and see both a sticky note and "fat" picture of myself.

I have never tried that before, but will now that I will be spending more time at home - and have the time to devise these pictures and notes - lol.

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9/9/09 11:48 P

Had some awesome sleep. I am getting back on track for sure. So, I also made a final decision to quit my job. I have been thinking about it since the beginning of the year. I enjoyed it up until things changed this year and my position was eliminated. It's a long story.

I was asked to stay on doing other things, but those things have turned out to be nothing. I waited five months for the job to turn into something meaningful, but it never did.

I asked for work and still nothing came of it. I can't sit back and literally do nothing for 8 hours and just collect a paycheck. I tried, but it doesn't feel good or right at all. I can't believe my department leader has let it go on.

So, I am doing what is best for me and doing things that interest me for a change. My husband agrees.

I am very happy to say I will be taking care of things around the house and volunteering for various organizations that actually need my help.

I will also have more time to reach my personal fitness goal and I hope to eventually turn that into a volunteer opportunity for people who want to lose weight and can't on their own.

I know how hard it is - so once I am certified officially - I can help others. That will be so fulfilling.

For now - I need to decide on a regular schedule to follow and get more serious with my fitness.

My plan is to finish InSaNiTy and finish my rotations with Cathe Friedrich. Then I plan on starting P90x for a second round with some various cardio routines thrown in.

Once all that is done, I plan on joining a Crossfit Gym to see if I can start training for the Crossfit Games. I am not sure yet about it because I need to see what it is all about first-hand. I may decide to go a different route and train for a marathon or something else. We'll see.

But, first I am reaching goal because I don't have the stress of my "non" job getting in the way. I will have time during the day to fit it in without interruptions from my husband.

I have been given a gift of freedom - and I am taking it and appreciating it!

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9/7/09 11:13 P

I did really well this past week until today. Had a relapse and I think I know why. I definitely have emotional eating issues and today it was triggered, but not by anything major.

That's the scary part...a lot of things trigger my response and I feel like I have to walk on eggshells with myself.

I was around someone today who kind of depressed me a bit with the cranky mood and somewhat demanding nature. I was warned about this happening, so that should have been my cue to not have gone anywhere with that person.

Anyway, I realized that I need to be around people who support and motivate me more - rather than make me feel bad about wanting to be healthier and to be more fit. Nobody I know personally is into seriously working out or struggling with the weight issues I have.

It would be so nice to have a group of friends who can relate and/or are super fit and want to join marathons and things like that.

I have zero people like that, not even my husband. He exercises, but has no weight issues to speak of - and zero interest in weight lifting or joining any classes, etc.

Oh, I joined gyms and even met up with SP groups before in hopes of meeting some people who have my issues and I can be friends with, but nothing turned out the way I hoped.

People don't take it that seriously. I am glad for SP, but I need some people in the physical world and ASAP!

I am considering going away to a bootcamp away from home for a few weeks or a month, but am not sure yet. I was inspired by a show I saw last night featuring Ruby. She has a book and was 700 pounds. They are following her story as a reality show to help her slim down. Love the show - which is called Ruby.

Anyway, she visited a children's weight loss camp and she even questioned the availability of some for adults. Surely Biggest Loser or someone else has thought to do this outside of a gimmicky spa setting.

I am going to investigate it, because maybe being in a different environment will help. I try over and over and over and don't get past a couple of weeks before I have a binge slip. I did so well the first 60 lbs. I am not sure what happened, but somehow I lost the ability to continue and make it work.

I was losing like crazy and I can only attribute the stall to the time I started lifting weights more seriously. I gained 15 lbs. instantly and it's gone to 18 - some is definitely muscle, but not all.

Anyway, today was not a good day...so I had to work on my visualization techniques to stop the binge onset. I also purchased a couple of other books for my Amazon Kindle 2 that will help, I hope:

1) Linda Spangel's: 100 Days to Weight Loss: The Secret to Being Successful on Any Diet Plan

2) Geneen Roth's: Breaking Free from Emotional Eating


In the first book, you actually go through 100 days of lesson plans and interactions to help you along. That appealed to me.

I will probably go through the 100 days here and have the lesson plans posted here for my reference. A bonus for people who don't want to purchase the book is that you will see what is contained.

I need to post all sorts of things on this thread that I have done in the last 17 months, so will get to that soon enough. I want it all in one place, so I can print it and stick it in my paper journal. I have pieces of information scattered all over, so need to consolidate.

Maybe that will help someone else if they take the time to read and follow along. That would be a big bonus to know I helped someone else.

But, I am trying to help myself, since things are extremely difficult now and I can't explain why.

As I mentioned, I lost the weight before a few years ago and went way lower than this and much more effortlessly...this time is proving to be almost impossible.

I think part of my negative thinking is that I am influenced by others around me who don't care about losing fat and/or getting fit - and I tend to think that now that I am older "does it really matter to get much thinner and fitter if I am already a decent normal weight?"

I am at a normal weight now, so should I go lower? Should I care about musculature and abs showing? Is this something that just doesn't matter anymore at my age - I should have done this in my 20's?

So, that is one recurring thought that plagues me...is the effort worth the trouble? How many years could I seriously keep that training up anyway? Again, is it worth it for 5 -10 more years?

I guess it goes back to feeling that I wasted a lot of my younger years and I can't get them back no matter how much I wish I could.

I would so start weight training and getting ripped at age 16. If I knew back then what I know now...I would have been a super duper famous trainer by now.

I missed out (I was thin back them, but not muscular or super fit like what I am going for now). I played tennis, but wasn't into exercise at all. I also ate a lot of junk food. My parents never tried to eat healthy all that much. But, my weight issues started some 7 years after I got married - so in my late 20's early 30's.

But, it's an internal struggle with myself between wanting it and wondering if it's truly worth it or a waste of time. Should I be focusing on something else that I can sustain all through old age more?

I know you should stay fit as you get older, but I am talking about the seriously fit look that I want now...should I forget it? Or should I keep going?

These are just some of the thoughts that go through my mind. Today, was a day like that after experiencing a not so fun day out with someone being a little cranky.

I found myself dealing with their child more than I had bargained for. I don't have kids by choice and always find myself having to coo and play with others' kids to appease them and keep them as friends.

I like kids, but in very, very small bursts.

But, I never ask for anyone to appease me like that...seems like a perpetual one way street with all my friends - because they all have kids and they don't care about being fit.

I just don't have the support I need in the real world.

So, I need to go and find it. I realize this. The Gabriel Method (and I am sure these new books) will say to surround yourself with people and situations who will uplift you and put you in a positive frame of mind. I need to be with more like-minded individuals and that is very hard to find.

Anyway, bad say today that started off pretty well. I exercised and ate well up until my outing. I came back from that experience and realized it messed me up.

So, more damage has been done and I have to start again tomorrow.

I also am having sleeping issues. I just can't sleep well, so ahad to buy some Unisom tonight. I refuse to go one more night with less sleep. So, I need to also investigate a new mattress and/or some other things.

Tea and milk and bread don't work for me - tried them first. So, we'll see if the sleep pills can get me on track again.

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9/5/09 1:13 P

Another nifty device I just purchased that I love is the Myotape measuring tape I purchsed from Amazon. I was using a regular measuring tape, but felt that it was so hard to hold on and it didn't seem to be accurate.

So, I bought the Myotape after seeing it used on tv by a trainer on some wedding weight loss reality show.

It's a retractable tape measure that hooks on one end and cinches around what you are measuring with the press of a button.

It is awesome and I have been using it to measure everything - including my dog's head. It's fun and easy to use and feels way more accurate!

I highly recommend it. It's not expensive - like $8.

Edited by: SIRENALATINA at: 9/5/2009 (13:13)

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9/5/09 1:01 P

Another pound lost and half an inch lost from all over. I have been losing a pound a day since starting the following things:

1) Gabriel Method visualizations
2) Dandelion Root Tea (no caffeine) (3x a day)
3) Green Tea supplements for energy and antioxidants
4) Dry Skin Brushing for better circulation and cleansing of lymphatic system

(As a side note: Gabriel Method recommends taking extra probiotic capsules, flaxseeds sprinkled on everything, Omega 3's capsules and digestive enzymes and protein supplements - I get a lot of this in the foods I eat anyway, so am not incorporating the capsules yet)

I blogged about the Dandelion root tea, but it's something Jillian Michaels recommends for bloating and getting rid of toxins and excess water weight.
She mixes it with other ingredients like lemon and cranberry juice and uses distilled water. It's called a Summer drink.

I could not find the tea at my local Publix, so bought it online from Amazon. It's just dandelion not blended with anything else and it's roasted. The roasted bit is crititcal to it tasting better. More like a weak coffee consistency and flavor.

I mix it in with Splenda (yes, I still use artificial sweetners) and serve it hot. Three cups a day spread out over the day. It cleanses your liver and it warns not to take it more than 6 weeks at a time. You can take a few weeks off and then go back to it. People with gallbladder issues should not take it.

Ever since I have been drinking this, I don't feel horribly bloated as I normally do. I try to watch salt content, but that does not matter - I am always bloated depending on what I eat and always after I weight train too. This has been a constant in my life, and this has actually helped me. It's been unreal.

I never heard of it before either, but does work. I always try new things and then determine on my own if I think it works or not. I don't discount things because they sound "too good to be true." I just make up my own mind.

So, this works and it will continue to be part of my regular diet from now on. I will observe the six week use and then take a few weeks off.

I am thrilled that it seems to be working and I feel so much better.




Edited by: SIRENALATINA at: 9/5/2009 (13:09)

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9/5/09 2:22 A

Back to the Gabriel Method - so, he wants you to envision some scene when exercising - where you are running away from something...and that triggers your body to want to let go of more fat - because you need it to be safe and get away from the perceived threat of a predator..

So, my new favorite visualization when I am working on Shaun T. InSaNiTy program - yes, I just started this a week ago - is to imagine a Yeti chasing me as I am doing the standing mountain climbers and the ski jump squats - where you are mimmicking a serious ski sprint.. lol.

The yeti is gaining on me, so I go faster and harder...I always get away too..



Edited by: SIRENALATINA at: 9/5/2009 (13:14)

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9/5/09 2:15 A

I made an appointment for September 25th at a local Crossfit gym to have my body fat % tested by the Bod Pod contraption. It works like the water displacement method that is the gold standard," but it's air.

There are some pre-test preps you have to do to be sure the results will be as accurate as possible.

It's within 1-2% off, so the same as the water method.

I blogged about this, if you want to know what it is.

But, I am buying a package of 4 visits and will spread them out between now and my goal date of April 19, 2010.

These last few pounds have been stubborn and I am tired of my scale and online body fat % calculators telling me I am anywhere between 17-32% fat...LOL

I would like to narrow it down a tad to 1-2%

The BodPod costs about $40 per session (takes 4-5 minutes) or $119 for 4.

I am both excited and scared, but I guess it's more of a baseling regardless of what the number says. I would work my down from that number until I am happy with what I see.

I am also dragging my husband - but he should be more like 12-14%.

current weight: 148.0

214 194 174 154

134

SparkPoints: (22,409)
Fitness Minutes: (31,700)
Posts: 3,643
9/5/09 2:06 A

Okay, so I had a lot of setbacks during this process the second time around. I don't think this was the case the first time - not sure why. I wasn't that much younger - just 2-3 years.

I am also weight lifting more seriously this time and seem to be self-sabotaging more.

Each time I get on that scale and am significantly lower in weight, I start binging. It sets me off when I get to a certain point.

It really has to be self-sabotage and feeling like once I reach goal I won't have anything else to do with myself. The goal I worked on for 17 months (going on 24) will be over and I won't have anything else to focus on.

I catch myself binging and eating past the point of feeling full. I actually feel sick at times and even throw up because I had too much.

I know I am an emotional eater and self-sabotage - so, I came across a new weight loss book by Jon Gabriel - The Gabriel Method.

I had actually seen it before on websites advertising it, but thought it was another gimmicky e-book and discounted it.

Well, last week I came across a SP page where someone was blogging about it. It sparked my interest this time, so I started researching it.

There is a Sparkteam dedicated to it and the book was available for my Amazon Kindle 2 Ebook reader - so I bought it. It downloaded to my Kindle wirelessly and instantly - and so I started reading...

The book is not a diet or exercise regimen like you see all over the internet. It's basically getting down to the root of why your body wants to keep you fat and how you can communicate with it so it will want to be thin instead.

It involves mediation techniques and a night meditation recording you can add to your Ipod and listen to at night and again in the morning (if you want to in the morning you can) and it sends suggestions to you as you sleep. Like a weight loss hypnosis.

I was skeptical, but after all the great reviews - I gave it a try.

It's been exactly one week since I listened the first time (I do it night and morning) and I have not binged once! That is a record for me lately!
I also am not that hungry like I was. I go for the salads and fruits and nuts and not the cookies or chips.

It was literally an overnight thing. I worry a little that this will end, but it's been a week and it's the same. Yes, I feel hunger at my normal meal times, but it's vague and not driving me to an uncontrollable rage like I was experiencing one week ago.

I have added a few other new things in my life in the way of supplements and/or teas and detox

but the biggest differences are the book and CD.The book explains why your body is triggered into protecting you by making you hold on to fat. It perceives stress and upsets as a fight or flight event.

Jon does suggest proper eating habits and suggests some supplements you can take like flaxseeds and oils and stuff.

I really am buying into these techniques because my plateau is being broken and I am feeling less hungry. That is all I need to know..

I suggest opening your mind and give it a shot if you are having some trouble losing the fat.




Edited by: SIRENALATINA at: 9/5/2009 (02:09)

current weight: 148.0

214 194 174 154

134

SparkPoints: (22,409)
Fitness Minutes: (31,700)
Posts: 3,643
8/26/09 12:24 P

I have been on Spark People since April 19, 2008. I weighed 214 lbs. and started exercising that Wednesday night at 9:30pm on an exercise bike in my condominium's gym for 45 minutes. I had my Ipod,baggy shorts and t-shirt and Polar F6 heart rate monitor.

You should know that this is my second attempt to lose the weight and keep it off. I actually had gained the weight in one year from 130lbs. to 224lbs. three years before and actually lost it all to 136 lbs. The initial weight gain was due to many factors:

-Depo-Vera
-Moving to a new city
-Moving from a multi-story house to a condo in a highrise
-Terribly abusive work situation for 3 years
-Stopped playing tennis
-Not happy in new city - hard to make friends, so on.
- Bored and emotional eating (I am now resolving these things)

Anyway, I was not weight lifting and stopped exercising and gained back to 214lbs., which is where I started this go round.

It was the best thing I could have done, ever - to start again. This time I have Spark People, the secret weapon along with other things. I am shocked I even lost the weight last time all cold turkey too.

Never have I used a personal trainer.

The fact I started last year wasm all because a co-worker of mine insisted I get on Spark People and start exercising. I still don't know how or why we even discussed it because I am very private about weight. I don't know why she kept bugging me about starting. I mean I was being spammed with SparkPeople invitations from her on a monthly basis!

We are friends, so it never came off as rude or anything. I was not mad about it...but I still wonder why...so, I did it to shut her up. Here I am...

I started only with cardio up until November 2008. I weighed about 145lbs. at that time.

Around November I started Jillian Michaels 30-Day Shred and progressed into other circuit type DVD's until about February (I weighed 140lbs.) - that is when I cut back on cardio and bought some Powerblock ajustable weights and weighted gloves.

I started P90x and finished it.I shot back up to 165lbs. during the weight training and am now trying to come back down. It was water weight and onset of binging.

I then moved on to Cathe Friedrich Slow & Heavy and Gym Styles and Shaun T. InSaNiTy carido program. This is what I am doing now. I am working on some other things, which I will enter as new entries.

But, this is who I am and what I have been doing over the last 17 months.

I was hoping to be at goal by now, but that was what I set when I first started (my goals have been a moving target, BTW). I didn't realize that I would have so many setbacks and that I would even do much weight training.

So, here I am with a new goal of 130lbs. by my 2nd year anniversary on Spark People - April 19th, 2010.

It has been a slow road for me, but I was practicing self-sabotage since last September. I just figured this out recently and am actively fixing that problem. Something I will discuss in this journal as time goes on.

The purpose of my journal is totally just for me. I want a place to keep records of what I have been doing and thinking. If you want to comment, it is always welcome, but I am doing this for my benefit and will add entried whenever I can.

I also keep a paper journal with pictures, articles, sahyings, positive tnhoughts, workout schedules and insights and stuff. I suggest keeping this to anyone. It is useful to keep on hand when you start to waiver...it's like my "fat book".

Anyway, if this helps people I will be very pleased. If not, then I wish you the best of luck with your own journey.
-------------


This is my initial entry on my Spark People page:

I am considering changing it on the page, so I wanted to document it in my journal in case I want to refer to it later.


Hi! I am 36, married for 16 years and no kids....and 5'6.5", small frame and a total pear shape.

I used to see weight loss as a very private and embarrassing issue. I leaned towards keeping it all to myself in the "real world," so a site like this helped me talk to others anonymously in the beginning stage - which was extremely helpful.

Once I get going, I am pretty good about motivating myself. But, it is nice to receive extra encouragement and advice from others - especially from total strangers. It seems more sincere that way.
Now that I am roughly 20 lbs. away from my final goal (OMG, I can't believe it!), I have gotten more used to talking openly about my weight loss efforts to anyone who brings it up. Discussing it doesn't bother me as much as it did.

I also find it interesting how much my way of thinking is changing as I go through this physical transformation. Meaning, I am more active, more willing to be seen in public, and more willing to buy nice things that make me smile.

I really was neglecting myself over the last 4-5 years when I was obese - and I am now making up for lost time - it feels great to be a normal weight again. I just wish I had not wasted some of my younger years like that, but here I am trying to turn it all around before it's too late.

As with anything I do in life, I just "rip it off like a band-aid" - before I talk myself out of it. That's the way I have always approached any goals I set, including weight loss.

I started off with very intense cardio exercise, but am now at a point that I need to wean myself from so much of it, so I can focus more time on weight training. It now feels right to me, so I finally started circuit training DVD's 2 months ago (Nov 2008).

Something I feel very strongly about is that nobody was able to influence me when it came to exercising routines. Some tried to get me to do this or that, but I did what I felt was right for me.

I chose to do more cardio and put off weight training. It worked! I am almost at goal. I know I need to tone and build more muscle definition, but I certainly am not going to become a "body builder" type that is lifting weights constantly because that takes a lot of time and dedication for competitions.

I want a muscular look but am more interested in joining tennis leagues or do something like the Crossfit games. I just want enough to tighten my problem areas...and then just maintain.

I must develop an exercise plan that is functional and can be maintained for the long run. I am working on tweaking my cardio and will experiment to see what works for me.

If you walk away from this journal with anything of value, please let it be that there is no one certain way to lose fat or weight.

There are many ways to approach this in terms of the type of exercise you do. Weight loss is all a numbers game at the most basic level - calories in vs. calories out.

But, it has to work for you and nobody can or should tell you that you will not succeed unless you do it their way.

Research and experiment various methods to see how your individual body responds. People can be quick to judge and lecture, but those people are not going to be in the gym with you helping out.

It's all you, and only you - -so do what works.

I am sharing my fitness tracker, but not nutrition tracker. I eat a lot of everything and am incorporating more protein, fiber, and fewer carbs. I actually enjoy eating "live" foods like fruits and vegetables and lean meats. Bread's not that crucial, but I do like grains like Muesli.

I do not share my tracker anymore because I was getting too many unsolicited comments regarding the brands I buy and so on. I track all foods by the name of the place where I buy them...so if it's a banana - it's a Publix banana. It was irritating me that some people saw the brand name and assumed it was all processed. LOL

I just track that way and that is a highly personal thing I don't feel like sharing anymore.

I eat as clean as possible and always stay within all my SP guidelines on my food tracker page. My calories have varied, but now I stay between 1,650-1,900.

Good luck to you all - it can be done!


Edited by: SIRENALATINA at: 9/5/2009 (13:05)

current weight: 148.0

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134