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Stress kills motivation. There are so many things outside of our control. The world is changing. Things that were wrong are now right. Things that were right are now wrong. Everything is upside down. Fear shuts down our motivation to take charge of the things we can control.
Better day today. Stayed within calorie range. I'm avoiding snacking, especially mindless snacking while watching television or on the computer...and especially late at night.
I'm getting more sleep, trying to stay in bed longer at night. Faithfully taking naps (for medical reasons).
I've been faithful in logging my exercise, etc, on the 5% challenge. Our Monarch Butterflies are doing well. I've friended everyone on our breakout group so I can keep in touch, encourage and be encouraged.
I drove older Sis to the doctor this afternoon. It's not pneumonia. Doc prescribed an antibiotic, meds for cough and Claritin. Iodine in water for gargling. Hibiscus tea. A couple of things to order from Puritan's Pride. (They have great service and prices for vitamins and supplements, etc.)
We had supper at Bob Evans. That's where most of my calories from today came since lunch was a big old homemade low-calorie chef salad. No breakfast. I am really dead serious about losing this weight and controlling some of the painful health issues I'm struggling with now.
I promise myself I will weigh less by vacation in May. I will weigh less before the next oncologist appointment in July. I will be more limber and walking better. It should reduce the pain and make everything easier. I cannot follow my usual pattern of regaining once things gets better.I weigh 45 pounds more than I did at the beginning of December 2015. Pounds and inches, begone! It sure goes on easier than it comes off.
Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 4/21/2016 (21:59)
This is going to be random thoughts tossed out here, things I have been thinking about, things we are going through.
I did a lot of celebrating over my birthday. In fact, my family started a couple weeks early this year. People surprised me with so much thoughtfulness. During the two weeks or so, there were four cakes, all small, a couple that were angel cake with lite whippy "frosting." We enjoyed the lightness of the first angel food cake so much, that later when there was another family gathering, someone brought another one.
I received boxes of sweet confections. After the intial rush wore off, the rest are still in the drawer, not tempting me a bit. Because of all the celebrating, I am ready to be done and feel very strong in sticking with my healthy plans this week.
I am amazed and even a bit dismayed at how little food it takes to feel full. I used to be able to eat so much more than this when I was younger and active. With intuitive eating, I realize I am full after a few bites. How is that possible? I need to adjust my calorie range here on Spark because I can't eat as much as they have on my menus.
I put on weight more quickly and take it off more slowly than I used to.
Stressors this week:
1. Little sister had the MRI that showed if the tumor has shrunk enough to be removed. It's been 16 months since this started. She did chemo last year. They thought the tumor had shrunk but closed her up without removing it last year when they saw how it had spread. More chemo. Infections. Seizures. One of the three chemo drugs causes seizures in 21% of patients. She will be on seizure meds for 6 months until it gets out of her system. She is very weak. Yesterday her husband said the three docs think the tumor has shrunk enough to try to remove it. Don't have any dates yet when that will happen.
2. My niece who is expecting twins got a bad report, no heartbeats found this time. Yesterday she was induced and delivered Matti and Alix. Devastating to go through.
3. On a minor note compared to the two above, I had a permanent bridge put in Friday (after losing a tooth that had a root canal done years ago). Developed a toothache when drinking something cold on Saturday. Had pain all weekend. Next appointment for semi-annual cleaning was Tuesday so the dentist worked on the tooth in front of the bridge that he thinks is the culprit (hitting higher when teeth come together).
4. I had a really good day Friday. It is taking me a long time to get my strength back since the cancer. I am tired and moving slower, aches and pain. It was wonderful to feel so strong Friday. I went to the dentist in the morning to get the bridge put in. Then my appointment with physical therapy for the torn rotator cuff in my shoulder. To Walgreens, the post office, then Kroger. Also had breakfast at Bob Evans. I was able to lift my walker in and out of the car. I didn't need help to get the groceries from the store into the car. I felt GOOD.
Satuday I woke up stiff and creaky and hurting. It has been that way since. My knee is cracking like Rice Krispies. Coincidentally the scale said my weight was up 15 pounds on Sunday. My weight fluctuates. Yikes. If that were a factor, why did I feel so good on Friday? Now I'm scrambling to get my weight back in line before weigh in on Saturday. I was down 5 pounds (from the 15) already by the next day, so I think the whole thing is a mirage.
Today I had a lot of errands to run. Take a deep breath. Do one thing at a time. First was physical therapy. Then Walgreens to get respiratory/allergy meds for Big Sis, so I had to actually go in and talk to the pharmacist. Then the post office. I got a burger at the drive through. (No breakfast, no extras like fries with the burger). Then to the bank and Kroger. I didn't want to go to Kroger today because that's a lot of walking but if I didn't, Big Sis said she would go. She is not feeling well and I don't want her to go out today. Even though I only purchased a dozen or so items at Kroger, it's the big super center. I only went down the aisles I knew I needed to visit, but that was from one end of the store to the other. Limping badly. I requested the bagger to help me get everything to the car (and make sure I could get into the car).
Came home and took a nap.
Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 4/21/2016 (00:47)
First week of Challenge has not been a success. Too many birthday celebrations have taken me outside calorie range too many days.
I have let myself and my team down. I have been faithful to log exercise and water intake on the team page. Weighing tomorrow will show more accurately what kind of week I've had.
I finally posted a blog. I need to spend more time on Spark to stay focused.
Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 4/2/2016 (00:41)
March 3, 2016
Consequences are bound to the choices you make. You can have your choice, but you cannot choose your consequence.
I am making bad choices. I am reaping the consequences. My weight is unacceptably high. I weigh nearly what I weighed before the cancer surgery in October. I cannot keep doing this to myself.
I read this on Facebook today, and wondered how it can be applied to the changes I am trying to make to be healthier. Do our words become our reality?
If you can ever learn how to shape your speech, you will have discovered the power to shape your life.
Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 2/24/2016 (02:46)
Haven't posted for awhile because I was so sick. Spent most of November in bed. Couldn't keep anything down so quit eating. Missed Thanksgiving entirely. Lost 43 pounds in November.
I was back in the hospital in December for tests. Gastritis, GERD (which I've been on medication for a few years), C-Diff infection. Finally found the right cocktail of nausea meds to take a half hour before eating meals.
It took awhile but appetite came back. Now it is February and I've regained all the weight I lost in Nov. So it's back to grim determination to get healthier.
Some foods that I used to like still do not taste good to me. I am learning.
My goal is to get back to planning, buying, prepping, and cooking. I want to concentrate on vegetables. For some reason, I'm not tolerating meats like hamburger and some seafood. When all else fails, pasta or mashed potatoes are tolerable.
I went into the grocery store all by myself yesterday. I haven't done that since October. I'm still not driving but I should be able to in the next couple of weeks since I'm not on scary meds now. I am having trouble getting in and out of the car. Can't bend my legs enough to squeak through the small door openings, even though I have a SUV. I've always been thankful for my height but this is one disadvantage.
Since I've been too sick to do the grocery shopping and cooking, we are winging it. That never works for me. We usually have one meal together every day. The rest of the time everyone gets whatever they want.
Yesterday, I didn't have breakfast. For lunch I made a casserole with sliced potatoes and left overs (diced ham and succotash). When I got hungry in the evening, I had a wedge of lettuce with a little dressing. Later Sis brought in a plate of cheese, grapes, salami, and Townhouse crackers. Total calories 1010, under my range.
Today I had a cranberry-oatmeal cookie and coffee for breakfast. Then lunch was aspargus, potato salad, and brats. That's what happens when we wing it. Think I'll pass on the grocery store potato salad in future because it doesn't taste right to me since the surgery. No sense wasting calories on food that doesn't taste good. I had several cups of coffee and a slice of pumpkin roll in the afternoon, then a soda later in the day. No real supper. Total calories 1959, slightly over my limit.
I drink water all the time. Even that tasted funny to me for a couple of months after surgery but it's not so bad now.
The home care agency nurse was here today. They will be discharging me from their service next Monday. Then I will start physical therapy at the outpatient physical therapy center in the village. I am not looking forward to that because it is painful. I've already done months of therapy with the home care agency and was discharged from therapy as things progressed from bad to worse. Had several visits with the orthopedic surgeon and another ultrasound of the torn rotator cuff. I am on my own there, not a candidate for surgery because I can't rest the arm for two months afterwards and the rotator cuff would tear again. I realize it's up to me now. I'm learning to find ways to reduce the pain but it never goes away. I have to be very careful how I move my arm. I can't tolerate narcotics. Other pain meds don't work.
I am getting stronger physically. Still can't stand very long which makes basic things like showering and cooking a challenge. I'm ok as long as I keep moving. When my legs hurt and my back locks up, I have to rest.
No doctor told me that I need to lose weight to get rid of physical ailments, but common sense tells me that it will make a big improvement. No, it won't make all the bad things go away but it will give my body a fighting chance. If I want to stay independent, I need to do this.
Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 2/22/2016 (22:23)
Surgery is over. I've been home from the hospital about one week. Had the staples removed yesterday. Still have the drain until the output decreases significantly.
Digestive and elimination systems are messed up. I am keeping food down now, but nothing tastes like it should. I've been eating much less.
Constipation is a side effect of the pain killers. I had cut way back on using them. Yesterday the nurse said I can't wait until I am in pain to take the medication. I have to keep the levels up enough to handle all the pain.
I slept really good last night after having the staples out yesterday morning. I can sleep on my side now. While there is still pain sleeping that way, it gives me some relief. I only got up once during the night. We are making progress.
I am below my 5% weight goal for the Fall 5% challenge. Have two more weigh-in Saturdays to go before the challenge ends. Hope the constipation doesn't set me back.
Sick most of Saturday. Hope I didn't catch something from Bear. I have to be extra careful between now and surgery on Friday. Can't afford to be sick.
I bought a flat bread sandwich yesterday that I threw away after one bite. It tasted funny. Looking inside, the beef was a little green. The bacon was undercooked. I don't think that one bite made me sick. I should have taken it back. I've had stuff from there before that was okay, but I don't think I'll be going there again any time soon.
Family here today so I made scalloped potatoes and ham. The ham tasted strange to me. Everyone else said it tasted fine, so it must be more of my taste not working properly.
Lately most things haven't tasted very good. So why do I still want to eat even when I don't feel well? Habit?
And I've been so tired. Little Sis said that's my body trying to overcome what's happening. Cancer is a bummer.
Did a little more cleaning today. Have to do it in short spurts since I'm in pain if I stand very long. Had to lay down several times, just long enough for my legs to quit hurting and the stiffness to leave. Didn't get much sleep because I had to keep running to the bathroom.
Noticed on the web today that Joey (Joey and Rory Feek, country singing duo) has quit cancer treatment because the cancer has spread and treatment not working. Her story sounds so much like what my little sister is going through right now, except my sister decided to go on to the next round of chemo...which might not work either. She's expecting a miracle.
Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 10/25/2015 (01:40)
We had planned to eat Mexican today but Bear wasn't feeling up to it. He chose a bagel shop at the last minute. Why does he keep taking me to these sandwich shops? This is not a meal. I can make a sandwich at home. I want a sit-down meal served by wait staff.
I do not do bagels and subs. I don't do sandwiches that are all bread. If I have a bagel, it's the slim kind. Can't even remember the last time I had a bagel. Panera Bread, Subway, Barry Bagels...are all on my list of places to avoid.
I was cold and wanted something warm. The bagel shop was busy with lunch traffic. I had never been there and didn't know what I wanted. If he had told me ahead of time, I would have checked out their menu on line first, and also checked the nutritional content. I settled for vegetable soup. I try to be nice about it.
I wrote down the names of a number of other restaurants in that area so I can go line and see if we want to try any of them.
I need to make more meals at home. The last few times we've gone out has been disappointing, not living up to expectations. I need to take control of the menu and my eating...plan ahead better and have groceries in the house and a menu of the meals for each day, like I used to do. I don't have the energy to wing it any more.
I may have to wait until I can drive again after surgery to really take control of my meals. Not sure how to plan. The nurse said I will be in the hospital for 3 days, but we all know how that usually goes.
I bought Swiss Chard and parsnips this week, so there's a start for the weekend meals.
Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 10/23/2015 (22:57)
Ladies' Bible Study this morning at church. A quick lunch at McDonalds, then on to the Marketplace for a few groceries. Then nap time. Egg sandwiches for supper.
I am doing a little cleaning/organizing most days. That feels good when done.
A better day today. Still had a headache for awhile. Got a 3 hour nap.
Went to town with Sis this morning. Post Office, Staples, Verizon.
Lunch at Bob Evans. I ordered the savor size Wildfire chicken salad. I felt sick after eating it. My system is off. Meals don't taste good lately. What does that tell me? Stop eating meals! Popcorn tasted ok tonight.
I am going through a really bad time between not feeling well myself and trying to be a support for my sister with cancer. I have a headache today. Crying too much with Sis. She is in so much pain. Everyone is exhausted.
Less than 2 weeks until my surgery. I am not feeling good about it. I am not feeling well, period.
I stayed at home today. Light cleaning and a little organizing. The sun was shining. Nap in the afternoon.
I made fish and veggies for lunch. Had a tomato sandwich for supper. Cheese on crackers, and black cherries, for snacking.
We went back to the store that sells amazing light fixtures today. Yesterday I stopped there to get a unique bulb for an architect lamp. The lamp still wouldn't work, even with the new bulb. When I took the lamp and new bulb back to the store to see if they could get it to work, he told me he suspects it's the ballast. That would cost most to repair than to buy a new lamp. I doubt it. The floor model architect light cost $100. Some of them were almost $1,000.
I want to replace the globes on the dining room fixture but I forgot to take one of my current globes with me so they could see what I need. That means another trip to the amazing light fixture store next week. I want to get all this stuff done before my surgery Oct 30 and before winter weather comes.
Bear and I ate at his favorite buffet restaurant. It was not tempting to indulge because we eat there often. I had a great salad: mixed greens, peas, mushrooms, sunflower seeds, cheese and a little French dressing. Had a small bowl of clam chowder and a slice of crusty bread.
He wanted to stop at Michael's craft store and Walmart. He surprised me with a Mtn Dew White Out. It was different, refreshing, and loaded with calories.
After fueling the car, I dropped him off. I picked up a few items at Kroger.
Came home and took a late nap until little sis called. She was calmer today but still in pain. She didn't sleep well last night. None of us did. I think we all were exhausted from yesterday.
My niece is staying over tonight. Love having her here. She was tired from a quick visit to her daughter's family who lives about 8 hours away. Her granddaughter is the light of her life.
We've fallen into a bad habit at night. We don't eat a real supper. If anyone's hungry, they wander into the kitchen and get what they want. Lately I skip it or settle for grapes and cubed cheese. Then I'm just hungry enough to be unsettled, and that can create problems later when I search for something to eat. I do better when I skip the late night eating. Even if no one else eats supper, I need to get back to following a thoughtfully planned menu, including a light supper.
Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 10/16/2015 (23:24)
Not a good day. Little Sis is in so much pain from the cancer. She cries and cries, and I cry and pray with her. Why does it have to be like this?
Has anyone seen my focus? I've misplaced it.
I am so tired. Not losing weight. Not staying focused.
I am scheduled for surgery on Oct 30. Not feeling good about that. I hope it's a good report and they remove all the cancer.
Little sister calls most days, sometimes several times a day, usually sobbing because she is in so much pain. She's on morphine and extra strength Tylenol. She started a new round of chemo on Monday. She has a cath. She was at the cancer place over 8 hours, then sent home with a fanny pack. It will give her medicine through Wed when she has to go back in for more chemo.
I'm feeling guilty for not being there for her. (She lives 10 hours away.) She has no family there except her husband. He could use someone coming along side to help. The people at her church have been helpful.
I was looking at cancer cook books today. Ironically some of them talked about ways to increase calories when you don't feel like eating. I need to get my weight down. My weight is working against me. I feel like eating all the time.
Little Sis has been the opposite. She dropped weight. She's 5'5" and 117 pounds right now. They do not want her to lose weight. Told her to concentrate on nutrition, not taste.
I downloaded Windows 10 today. It took hours to load and upgrade. It's frustrating trying to find things and get it to work, but it will be ok once I figure it out. What was wrong with the old windows version? I don't think I will load it on the laptops.
Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 10/13/2015 (22:50)
Back from a lovely getaway weekend. Broke my log-in streak. Internet was impossibly slow at the hotel.
See blog "Beginning of the week" for this entry.
Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 10/6/2015 (22:51)
Thursday. Running all day. I was almost late to the first appointment because I was trying to get the last few orders in on FV2 before the noon deadline.
I left the house in a hurry, without a sweater. It's been in the 60s, but the sun made it feel hot on Wednesday.
First appointment in the morning was with the lady at the senior center who enters my prescriptions in her computer program to tell me what is the best Medicare pharmacy plan for me for 2016. I can't sign up for the new plan until Oct 15. I have two top contenders. One is best if I am on generic drugs (like I am now). The other will be better if I have brand name drugs prescribed for cancer. I should know after my surgery.
The wind was penetrating. Bear called on my cell before I could get back into the car. I got so cold while talking to him. Finally had to tell him to give me time to get everything and myself into the car. Brrrr.
Next stop was a big box home supply store to pick up waterproofing stuff for the semi-circular stairs in the back of the house (from the sun porch to the daylight basement). When it floods outside, water fills that shallow bottom step and goes under the basement door. It doesn't run down the stairs. It seeps into the bottom step.
I was hoping for waterproofing that I could just brush on. This is a plastic carton of waterproofing "cement" that is applied by hand with rubber gloves. Maybe my niece will put it on for me. Not sure I can get down that low.
I also picked up more reflectors for the driveway so the snow removal people can tell where the driveway is under all the snow. I got duct tape to repair the inside of a plastic (item-specific) fitted travel bag. Not sure how that will work. And I picked up more tall kitchen trash bags. They changed the color of the tie string but the product number is the same.
That didn't leave time for lunch before my hair appointment so I buzzed through KFC and got the 2-piece chicken-tenders mini-meal.
I got behind the slowest white vehicle on the (normally) half-hour drive from the city to south county. I was sure I would be late. I was surprised to see the hairdresser in the middle of a 3-color job when I got there. She said I had time if I needed to do something else first. Wish I'd known that when I was in the city.
I waited and got very sleepy, probably because it was the first I'd slowed down all day.
After getting my hair washed, cut, and styled, I went to the bank, then headed south across the state line to a large city to finish what I had planned to do when I was in the northern city earlier before I ran out of time before my hair appointment.
Went to an office supply store and got a card copied and laminated.
Had to find a restroom three times while out today. I feel like a person in that commercial where the three ladies are looking at a map of the area where they will be that day, marking where all the restrooms are. Haha.
I didn't take my water pill before leaving the house because it makes finding a restroom more urgent. I need the water pill to keep the swelling down in my legs.
Doc has not told me to limit water intake since my problem is not heart-related. I carry water with me for sipping because I get so thirsty. I don't have to buy a carbonated beverage that increases the calories for the day.
Big Sis had a message for me from the oncologist when I got home. Appointment with his office Oct 22. Surgery Oct 30.
Had a deep-sleep nap for an hour or so. Then Little Sis called later for a chat. Big Sis brought me a plate of peanut-butter filled celery while I was talking.
For supper I made a flat pita bread pizza, added onion, green pepper, and pepperoni. It's the perfect size for one person.
Big Sis suggested we might try to go away this weekend before the weather changes. When I checked hotels in the area where we will be going, there were only a handful. A beautiful B&B was out because it wasn't handicap accessible. I couldn't find any information on the small hotel (motel?) closest to our destination so that one's out for this time until we can check it out this weekend when we're in the area. There were two chain hotels. One was booked solid. The other one had one handicap accessible room available to I booked before it was gone. I don't understand how they can claim to be wheelchair accessible when they do not have a walk-in shower. How many wheelchair people can get up and over into a tub to shower? So what if it has a hand held wand if one can't get into the tub at all? If it has assist bars in the bathroom, it qualifies to be called wheelchair accessible. Some of those toilet are so low, a normal person would have trouble using them. Thank goodness for handicap items we can bring with us. They have the taller beds like their sister hotel has where we usually stay up north. That doesn't work for short people but it's wonderful for me. I struggle and need help to get up from anything too low.
Worked on the computer for awhile before bedtime. "They" say it's bad to watch tv or work on the computer before bedtime because that kind of illumination does not prepare one for sleep. I can't tell you how many times I've fallen asleep at the computer.
Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 10/2/2015 (11:54)
You pack a lot in a day and I agree, eating out is hazardous if you are not careful. Thanks for sharing today.
No breakfast. Met Bear for lunch at Bob Evans. We both ordered breakfast. Calories? Yikes! The tracker here tells me I went over on my daily calories with just lunch. I shared my banana bread with bear or it would have been higher.
I had a green pepper sandwich, cheese, grapes, and coffee for supper.
Normally I don't eat breakfast or supper when I eat out because restaurant meals are loaded with hidden calories. Not sure how they take ordinary food and pump extra calories into them like they do.
Went to the library to take books back and get different ones to read.
Stopped at marketplace for a few groceries.
Went to the post office for mail.
Thanking God for an exceptionally good day. I felt more energetic than I have in awhile. Had less pain. Successful trip to the grocery store with no help from anyone. I felt so good when I came home. Unloaded and stored groceries by myself.
Took a short nap until Lil Sis called for our daily chat and Bible reading. Cancer has made her frail and vulnerable, questioning everything she has always known, second guessing herself. I have to be so careful what I say. I love her dearly and it's stressful. She is in tremendous pain and medicated. Starts another round of stronger chemo soon.
We went to bed early Wednesday before 11. I was up around 3:30 AM this morning (Thurs). I'll pay for it later. I have 2 appointments today and a couple of stores I need to visit.
Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 10/1/2015 (06:14)
I should have completed the The 30-Day Small Changes Challenge by now but I missed some days so I'd like to repeat it. Thirty days was not long enough to really soak it all in. I need to think about each day's assignment, not rush through it. It won't officially let me rejoin since I've "completed" the challenge. It looks like I can still view it so I will do it on my own and journal about it each day.
Tuesday was my first visit with the surgeon who will be doing the hernia repair when the oncologist does the hysterectomy. I read online that the hernia repair will probably not be permanent. The oncologist disagrees, but the surgeon agrees. So WHY am I doing this? Because it can cause problems down the road if not repaired. I've had it for years with no problems yet.
The doctor asked if Sis and I are twins. That is the second doctor that asked that within the last month. She is my big sis. Not sure if I am looking older or she is looking younger.
After the doctor appointment, Sis and I had lunch at a Chinese buffet that we never noticed or tried before. Why do they keep the blinds shut and have minimal light? Is that ambience? We both thought most of the food was too oily. Stir fry does not mean soaking in oil. The egg rolls, rangoon, soup, and dessert (a coconut macaroon and sweet-coated nuts) were good. I was enjoying the egg drop soup, then noticed something red that wasn't there before. Gross and embarrassing, I had a nosebleed and didn't even realize it! (My blood pressure was on the low side of normal at the doctor's office, so that wasn't the cause.)
Sis didn't feel good the rest of the day, upset tummy.
We were both tired and enjoyed our afternoon naps.
Not sure how to enter lunch in the nutrition tracker...a bite of this, a bite of that. It was my only meal today so I'm not too worried about the calories. I had a lemonade later tonight.
I had just settled in front of the telly to watch Joyce Meyer tonight when little Sis called. I moved into another room so we could talk. She is in so much pain but fights valiantly on, expecting a miracle. I read a couple Psalms she requested. We had a long talk.
Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 9/30/2015 (02:23)
The new Fall 5% Challenge has started. I get out of it what I put into it. Ultimately, I am doing this for me. I need to lose the weight for health reasons.
The challenge has a beginning and ending. I can do this for 8 weeks. That is long enough to get some momentum and routine working in my favor.
I will faithfully track nutrition and exercise.
I will commit to a menu plan. That has been key to my success in the past.
I will increase my exercise by small do-able amounts.
I will maintain and not regain any pounds I lose.
I will encourage others in the Challenge.
* * * * *
I meet the surgeon tomorrow who will be doing the hernia repair when the oncologist does the hysterectomy.
Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 9/28/2015 (17:07)
I've been very tired this week. My legs hurt a lot. The recent weight gain isn't helping at all.
We came home from up north on Tuesday. About 7 hours drive, stopping for lunch at Ponderosa at West Branch. Enjoyed the buffet.
Wednesday I had an appointment with the podiatrist. After that I picked up the mail at the post office and a prescription at the pharmacy. Ran the car through the car wash.Too tired to get groceries.
Thursday the company that seals the driveway was here at 7:30 AM. I met up with some of my old high school classmates in the village for lunch. Since I couldn't put the car away in the garage until the next morning (because of having the drive sealed), I decided to get groceries on Friday so I wouldn't have to carry them so far across bumpy lawn into the house.
Friday I had lunch at Lonestar with Bear. The weather was hot and I quickly ran out of energy. I called my niece to see if she would get the groceries. On the way home, I stopped at the grocery store, reached down deep and pulled up enough energy to shop for groceries. A sweet little bagger helped load the groceries in the car. My niece unloaded the groceries at home. I didn't buy that much but they were bulky or heavy items like laundry supplies, orange juice, toilet paper, etc. I felt pretty proud of myself for accomplishing the shopping.
Today I stayed home. Wrote a blog on Spark. I slept deeply during my nap, but had frequent interruptions to use the rest room. My cousin's wife called. My sister called. I was sorry when my niece left. She had stayed overnight on Friday. It's almost ten and I'm trying to get back to bed. Sometimes I get too tired to get up and go to bed.
Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 9/22/2015 (01:15)
No breakfast this morning because I had an ultrasound appointment. Had to drink a lot of water an hour before the appointment.
My urologist has ordered this ultrasound and checked on the renal cyst for the last ten years. This year the oncologist noticed the cyst in a CT scan he ordered for the uterine cancer. He ordered the ultrasound.
It was a different facility than the one I've used in the past for my ultrasounds. I used valet parking. Had a long walk in the building from the front door to the radiology department. A transport person walked with me to show the way. They offered a wheelchair but I need to walk as much as I can.
The techs were pleasant and gentle. It was interesting to see the small differences from the way it was usually done.
I met up with Bear afterwards as planned. He wanted to eat at his favorite buffet restaurant today. Not my choice. Too much construction, both expressway and city streets, in that area so it took us awhile to get there.
They did not have the few dishes I look forward to when we go there. No chewy bean salad or meatloaf.
Good moment: We started with the salad bar. I was in the mood for a green salad. Lettuce, spinach, mushrooms, dressing and a little shredded parm cheese. Sliced beets on the side. A small serving of seafood salad. A cornmeal muffin. Small bowl of chicken noodle soup.
Good moment: The regular entrees did not appeal.I don't like being wasteful but it didn't taste good. That's an improvement: I can stop eating when something does not taste as expected! I am not a garbage disposal. I am not obligated to eat what is on my plate.
Good moment: Dessert did not look tempting. I had black coffee.
Good moment: Bear commented on how we are changing. We ate what we wanted. We weren't stuffed.
We walked to the craft store next door. I got some purple felt tip markers for Sis, heavier paper for my scrapbook, and an adult coloring book. More about the scrapbook another time.
The sales clerk said hello and called me by name, then asked if I remembered her. I thought she was Bear's friend who worked there that I had met a few years earlier. She said no. When she was a little girl, she was my next door neighbor. I remembered her when she said her maiden name. I used to babysit her and her sisters. How did she recognize me? I am older and gray haired. I don't look like I did when I was a teen. The craft store is a long way from home in another state, so it's not like she would expect to see me there. She doesn't look like she used to either!
I have to talk about my weight. I feel that I have been given an extra month to work on losing more pounds before my surgery. Instead my weight has jumped up more than ten pounds from my first appointment with the oncologist. I will do what I need to do to turn this around.
Tonight as I surfed blogs here on Spark, once again I was reminded how much I admire people who set a goal and head straight for it.
One Sparker had almost as much weight to lose as I do.
I joined Spark a couple years before she did.
She reached her goal and has been at maintenance. I weigh more than I did when I started.
This is not right. I have to treat myself better than this.
Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 9/2/2015 (00:56)
I was fixing lunch (baked chicken and sliced cucumbers) when bear called to see if I could meet him for lunch. My niece came home before I left, so she and Sis had the lunch I fixed when Sis got home later.
For lunch, I had salad, salmon, and mashed potatoes. I finished the salad but didn't get very far on the entree when I realized I was getting full. I asked for a box to take the rest of it home. It felt good to be in control, not nibbling until I was too full.
Later when I was sitting in the car in a parking lot, I was people-watching. It was a while before I saw anyone that I would call slim. Most were carrying a few (or more) extra pounds. Some were moving with difficulty. Many acted like they had some pain or sore feet. Then I saw a couple of people who were slender and moving with more agility. A desire (and tiny flame of resolve) rose up in me to become one of those people, one of the minority who were slender and moved well.
All skinny people are not healthy. Carrying extra pounds may not make one less flexible and agile. However we damage our bodies by carrying extra pounds. There will come a time when we have to pay the piper. I am reaping the consequences of years of doing whatever I wanted and not making enough healthy choices.
I am hanging on to the mental video, sitting in the car, watching the stream of people in the sunlight, walking across the parking lot into the store and back out again to their cars. Some were tall, some were short, most were carrying extra pounds, and a few were slender. I could tell how difficult movement was for some. I could see pain on their faces. Then the few exceptions who moved with agility. I close my eyes and see them again. It is one more building block in my desire to become healthier.
Fruits and veggies today:
For breakfast, I finished the left over hash browns from yesterday. Do potatoes count? The celery and onion cannot count as a serving. For morning snack, I had a fresh pear. It was delicious.
For lunch, I had mashed potatoes, broccoli, salad. Two bites of bear's carrot cake. Now we are pushing it, because that would not have very many carrots in two bites. Raspberry lemonade does not count as a fruit either.
I will do better eating at home. For fresh fruit, I have bananas, apples, blueberries, peaches, and oranges. Fresh vegetables: cucumbers, tomatoes, celery, onions, potatoes, romaine lettuce, and green beans. I can supplement with canned and frozen freggies that I already have on hand, too.
Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 8/29/2015 (01:54)
I've lost track what day this is on the 100 day journey.
I took two naps today, late morning and late afternoon. Feeling tired. Something decadent about sleeping in the sunshine. I slept well. Water pill wakes me up for a visit to the bathroom :)
Ate willy nilly today because routine was skewed.
For breakfast I chopped and sauted onion and celery to add to my leftover hash browns from yesterday. I got full and couldn't finish it.
I planned to make summer squash dish for lunch but Sis wouldn't be there for several hours so I had a brat in a bun. Too many calories, too much salt, too many carbs, makes me feel bloated.
Later I had black cherry ice cream and chips. Everything in moderation but this felt wrong, unhealthy, not what I wanted to do today.
For supper I finally cooked the summer squash with onion and browned hamburger. Added the leftover rotini and tomato sauce to the summer squash when it was almost done cooking. Yum, it tasted delish.
Been drinking water all day.
Need to do some serious revamping of eating plan. My head says Fruits and Vegetables. That's not how the day plays out. I need to write out a daily plan that I can see and stick with.
Had the usual long chat with sister via phone this afternoon. She will be having her surgery before I do. Hers is mid Sept. I don't see the second surgeon until late Sept.
Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 8/27/2015 (22:18)
I am back from vacation with the usual weight gain. How can I turn this around?
Too tired to catch up my entries here tonight. I will try to do that tomorrow.
Tuesday, August 10, 2015 - Day 68 of 100
Down 11 pounds for this personal challenge
Weight bounced up 0.4 pounds. Not sure why but I'm not stressing about it because it may be gone by tomorrow.
I cut up a fresh peach for breakfast. Topped it with yogurt, honey, and cinnamon. It didn't need the sweetener but I'm working in more anti angiogenic foods. Locally produced honey is so good for our immune systems.
Lunch was warm-ups. Trying to get rid of stuff in the fridge before leaving on vacation Thursday. I had some left over Chinese take out. Still some left. I can't believe how many meals I get out of one Chinese dinner.
Supper was a tomato sandwich. Love those garden fresh tomatoes.
Snack was not a lot of calories but still totally off track during a low moment in the day. I was feeling a little sick from the barium from the CT scan today and was very tired. I think that's why my snack was off track.
Sometimes since being diagnosed with cancer, I feel strange, not myself. It's not a good feeling. I need to explore that and get a handle on what is happening. It can lead me to forget my healthy living goals. I've had such a positive attitude that I don't understand that out-of-sorts feeling that comes over me. Is something else going on below the surface? Am I not listening to what my inner self is trying to tell me? Where is this coming from?
Today I had a CT scan midmorning. I had to drink a fairly large container of milky white Berry Smoothie Readi-Cat 2 three hours before the procedure. Once I arrived at the clinic, they had me drink a paper cup of clear contrast liquid that had a nasty aftertaste. Then I laid on the table/arm that comes out of the CT scan machine while the tech tried to start an IV with more contrast. She tried both arms. She tried both arms again. Then she got someone else to try. She was able to start the IV in a small vein in my hand. I now have bruises on my inner elbow on one arm, a big bruise just below the elbow on the other arm, and a small bruise on my hand.
The CT scan didn't take long. I was concerned the opening would be too small but it was not problem at all. My injured shoulder made it a little painful to hold my arm by my head,out of the way of the machine. There was an outline of a face on the machine near my head that lit up when it wanted me to breathe in. Then a puffy cheeked face, supposedly exhaling, when it wanted me to release my breath. It kind of made me chuckle. I usually close my eyes and miss all those little details.
Sis did yard work for 4 or 5 hours when we came home. She loves riding the mower. It's hard for her to pick up branches and spray round-up around the base of the trees. I am no help to her in the yard. If it looks scruffy and unkempt like it needs mowing, she thinks people will think the house is empty.
Tonight I went to bed at 10 PM, so tired. Then, of all things, the whole scene of being called into a big conference room with at least 12 people around the table, when I was downsized in 2008 from my job of 35 years. They said it wasn't because on anything we had done but financially they had to eliminate some positions. I was ok with being downsized. I had told my boss that earlier. So why they had to turn in into something ugly like a circus complete with gawkers is beyond me. So many times I wish I could do it over. When I asked when it went into effect, they replied now. I should have politely excused myself then and left with dignity. One of them had their nerve to walk me to my car afterwards, as if I would lower my dignity to do anything untoward. He ran to catch up with me, and said it was policy that he walk me to my car.
Later one of the men was quoted in the newspaper as offering to assist companies needing to downsize because he felt they had learned from the bad job they did. Well, he didn't use those words exactly. He's so right about that. I went from being one of their representatives urging everyone to use their services to being upset enough to avoid using their services when possible. Even seven years later, my feelings haven't changed. Amazing that they could turn my attitude around like that in one short meeting.
Why did this scene come back to mind when I was going to sleep tonight? What brought that on? It's over, done, and has nothing to do with my life now. Let it go. Why should it have the power to rob me of sleep? I am glad I don't have to go to work now. I am glad I got to be with Dad the last couple years of his life. I love being at home.
I've been faithfully logging nutrition and exercise. Last night got crazy and I didn't log supper. I haven't logged any nutrition today. Heading to nowhere land, I suspect. Not a good place to be. So I surfed around Spark, read some encouraging blogs. Sent one friend request. Now I'm ready to take care of me and log my nutrition for today. It will be good.
Nutrition logged. Yikes, I'm under on calories. Hope my body doesn't think famine and show an increase on the scale tomorrow.
Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 8/22/2015 (23:30)
Monday, August 9, 2015 - Day 67 of 100
Down 11.4 pounds for this personal challenge
Scale moved .6 this morning, down 11.4 for the 100 day challenge.
I had a heartier breakfast because I didn't think I would have time to eat after my 11 AM appointment at the wound care center. The MRI is at 4:30, NPO for four hours prior.
The wound on my leg is healing nice. They used collagen on it last week. They put on another wrap. It will be on until Aug 20. That's the maximum 10 days they can be left on.
They put tubigrip for compression on the other leg. That's what I was using until my leg swelled below the knee, causing the tubigrip to roll down like a tourniquet. I wondered if I needed a larger size with the changes in my legs, but she put the same size on today. We'll see how it works.
I can't get them on very well by myself. Sis usually helps me. I am so blessed to have her living here. Together we are strong.
My appointment at the wound care center moved along faster than usual and we were done by 11:50 AM. We went to the nearby Original Pancake House. Wonder why they are call Original. Were they the first pancake house in this area? Is that a chain? They are known for their puffy German pancakes but those take about 45 minutes after we order. Sis had a delicious oven baked Irish omelet and I had Mike's eggs. It is poached egg over English muffin and sausage patty, topped with mushroom sauce. It is served with 2 small potato pancakes and a dollop of applesauce or sour cream. I ate half (one English muffin) and brought the other one home. I ran out of time since I had to stop eating at 12:30 PM.
We went to the wrong place if we wanted fast food. They knew we were on a time constraint and hurried, but many of their dishes are oven baked and they take time to do it right.
Home again to wait for the MRI appointment. Took a nap.
It thundered and rained in the afternoon. Wish we could share it with the people in California battling the wildfire.
Arrived at the hospital for the MRI. Valet parking was open but would be closed by the time I finished the MRI. Handicap parking spots were full. I parked at the end of the second lot so I could get my door open enough to get my walker out. It was too far for Sis to walk. She has breathing problems.
We were told to arrive at the hospital at 4PM for the MRI at 4:30PM. The lady at the front desk took our name and time of arrival and said to have a seat until registration called my name. All the seats in the huge waiting area are low. Butt is down, knees are angled up, back of the chair is slanted back. I sit on the seat on my walker, but Sis has no option but to use their low chairs. I went into a darkened, unoccupied registration office and dragged out a straight chair for her to sit on.
I really must write the hospital a letter about their low seating. Some hospitals have a mix of low and higher chairs, even bar stool height, so everyone can choose a chair that works for them.
There was one unsmiling woman working in one of the three small registration offices. Even though she had no patients at her desk, she ignored us when we walked into the waiting area. At 4:22 PM the front desk lady yelled out my name and told me to go into the registration office. The unsmiling lady was now smiling and was very sweet and accommodating. When we finished with the paperwork, she called for a wheelchair and transport for Sis because it was a long walk to MRI. I used my walker. The transport man had to slow down for me to follow him and Sis.
We went through all the front waiting areas, down a hall near outpatient surgery to an elevator, down to the ground floor, then a long walk down several halls to the MRI area. Sis felt bad about being in a wheelchair while I was walking, but she would have been out of breath before we got there.
It was already after 4:30 by then. After a little wait, the lady at the desk gave me a clipboard full of papers to fill out. In my opinion, I could have done this at home and brought them in with me. Even though I had a list of meds with dosages and how often I take them, I had to copy them over on the new forms. I also had to list all the surgeries I've had. It was about 4 or 5 pages of information.
After another wait, the lady then reviewed my answers on the papers I'd just completed. It was now around 5:15 PM. On the way to the dressing room, I stopped at the restroom. Even though the toilet had sturdy assist bars, the toilet was too low for me to use.
In the waiting room, I was given two gowns...one to put on with the ties in the back, and one to wear like a robe, with the ties in the front. Then she opened another locker with scrub bottoms and asked what size I wear.
When I said I would not be removing the newly applied una boot, she left the room to get the MRI tech. The tech, with distracting tattoes errupting from the neck of her scrub, asked me questions about the una boot. Was it damp? Yes, when applied. The bottom layer is soaked in calamine. The top self-sticking layer feels damp but probably isn't. No collagen or silver used on the sore on the back of the leg because it is healing nicely now.
The techs decision was to postpone the MRI until I have the una boot removed on Aug 20. Of course, if it isn't healed, another boot will be applied. It is healing well now so that probably won't happen.
I asked to see the MRI machine. The open MRI place that I usually use has closed so this is the closed donut MRI machine. It seemed large enough to accommodate me. The room was big and quite pleasant. There is another MRI place in town that has a smaller MRI machine, and the small room it is in adds to the feeling of claustrophobia.
We came home and warmed up the rest of our lunch to have for supper.
Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 8/22/2015 (23:37)
Sunday, August 8, 2015 - Day 66 of 100
Down 10.8 pounds for this personal challenge
Another tiny drop on the scale. It's progress. As Indygirl says: Lose, maintain, don't regain. I have a horrible history of regaining so I will celebrate that I not only maintained, I lost .2 pounds since weighing yesterday morning.
I went to church in the morning. Pastor had another wonderful sermon. The topic was when God doesn't answer your prayers.
I had a little more for breakfast since I was going to be away for awhile. Loading up on anti angiogenic foods.
We had pork loin and roasted veggies for lunch. They smelled so good and tasted delicious.
I didn't do so well for supper. Hit and miss snacking. I do better when I make a sit down meal.
I didn't sleep well during my nap. Then I tried to lay down when I would usually be making supper. That made supper (such as it was) much later in the evening.
Saturday, August 8, 2015 - Day 65 of 100
Down 10.6 pounds for this personal challenge
Scale is still moving...verrrry slowly. Naturally I wish I could lose as much as possible before surgery (if that is what the oncologist decides to do) but I will take every ounce lost I can get.
I had yogurt with honey and cinnamon for breakfast. That's 3 anti angiogenic foods. For lunch, we had fresh corn on the cob, cucumbers, and left over sloppy joes. I wasn't very hungry at suppertime so I had cheese and grapes.
I need to put a weekly menu together using as many anti angiogenic foods as possible. Breakfast is usually good but the rest of the day needs more thoughtful planning to work those foods in.
I prepped and cooked some of the food for Sunday dinner: pork loin and roasted vegetables. I'll put them in the oven as soon as I get home from church tomorrow.
Sis and I went to the post office, then stopped over at some of her friends house, then to the office at the mission where she volunteers. That took the whole morning.
Friday, August 7, 2015 - Day 64 of 100
Down 10.4 pounds for this personal challenge
A nice drop in weight makes me happy. It's moving a little bit at a time. Now I have to hang on to the loss and not regain. As Indygirl says: Lose, maintain, don't regain.
Paid bills this morning. I made Sis a list of the regular expenses and when they come due, so she can take over while I'm in the hospital and recovering, if necessary.
I skipped breakfast because Bear and I were going to Longhorn Steakhouse today. They sent me an email that looked tempting. Smoky bacon sirloin and fried green tomatoes.
In addition to the steak and tomatoes, I had baked sweet potato with butter, cinnamon and sugar, and steamed broccoli. I ate one of Bear's corn fritters. The fried green tomatoes came on a generous bed of lettuce, so it was like a salad. There was crusty bread that tasted like multigrain and fresh butter.
A $3 off coupon didn't make a dent in the bill. I am a little ashamed at how much we spent. It could be put to more prudent use. Why do I like these places with expensive menus?
I am thinking anytime a restaurant has Italian Grill tucked on the end of their name that it's a code for upscale and expensive. Some of their menus only show the dollars, no coins. Now to me, grill sounds like it should be inexpensive.
I have to plug everything into the nutrition tracker. That may be my calories for the day!!!
Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 8/7/2015 (17:07)
Thursday, August 6, 2015 - Day 63 of 100
Down 9.2 pounds for this personal challenge
Woohoo, the pound I gained yesterday is gone, along with a little more.
This morning I went to the library to return books, and got 5 books for our trip up north next week.
The kids were coming over today, so Sis stopped at the grocery store when she went to the post office.
Lunch menu with the kids was sloppy joes and chips. Usually they request Grandma's waffles so the little ones were disappointed. They didn't think they would like sloppy joes and didn't want to try them. With a bit a parental persuasion they ate what was prepared...and went back for seconds, admitting they were good. Would grandma make something that wasn't good?
Earlier this week I had mentioned that I have not had sloppy joes in years. I used to make them once in awhile when it was our parents and me living here. Sis said she hasn't made them since the kids graduation parties years ago. I don't think she likes them much.
My breakfast was good, full of anti angiogenic foods. My lunch and supper, not too much. I must confess that I had 3 sloppy joes for lunch and 2 for supper. It has been so long since I had them. I don't like them super sloppy so I go light on the filling.
I am within my calorie range. There were 5 anti angiogenic foods today.
Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 8/6/2015 (22:42)
Wednesday, August 5, 2015 - Day 62 of 100
Down 7 pounds for this personal challenge
I was under on calories yesterday so I expected a bigger drop in weight this morning. Surprise, I was up more than a pound. Yes, I know that when we don't eat enough, our body goes into famine mode and hangs on to the pounds. It's only a blip and will probably disappear in a day.
Sis and I spent the morning in town. First was her podiatrist appointment. Then Staples for computer ink. Then Walmart for groceries and miscellaneous things. Then the pharmacy that handles durable medical supplies for compression wraps for my legs. $360, and the insurance does not pay for any of it. No thanks.
I have spent a fortune in the past for compression supplies that have not worked out. I have something similar to what the wound care center ordered. They can use that...or not.
Then to the post office for mail, and Tractor Supply for weed killer and a soaker hose. It was past lunch time so we picked up Chinese take out.
We both got cashew chicken, lunch portions. They came with egg rolls. Sis had some of her cashew chicken but couldn't finish it. She didn't want her egg roll so I had the two egg rolls. It filled me up. Now we have enough cashew chicken for another meal (with my whole cashew chicken and her left overs).
I was within my range on calories. I had 7 anti angiogenic foods.
Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 8/6/2015 (22:33)
I'm posting a link to BraveLute's Anti Angiogenic cookbook on Spark. I listed it somewhere else but it doesn't always work so I'm saving it here.
Tuesday, August 4, 2015 - Day 61 of 100
Down 8.2 pounds for this personal challenge
I am rocking this challenge now. It's so exciting to see a new number on the scale every morning, even when it's a fraction of a pound.
Anti Angiogenesis foods consumed today: blueberries, honey, yogurt, 2 servings of V8, making a total of 5. That's a good start. They recommend having at least one with every meal but more is better.
For breakfast I switched up my usual toast and peanut butter for blueberries with honey, topped with yogurt.
Lunch did not have a single food from the anti angiogenesis list. I don't think ketchup counts as tomato.
Supper was a can of v8 juice, considered 2 servings.
Bear and I ate at Tony Packo's today. Remember the hit television series MASH? Jamie Farr (Klinger) was always talking about going home and eating at Packo's.
Bear was talking about lasagna, which means Rosie's (upscale and expensive) Italian Grill or Olive Garden or Red Star Diner. He know's I'm not fond of Olive Garden. Their commercials look wonderful, but their food never looks like the food in the commercials, and doesn't taste so wonderful. Big disappointment.
At lunchtime Red Star Diner would be packed.
As we were driving toward Olive Garden, I told him to let me know if any of the restaurants we passed looked good. He chose Tony Packo's.
No anti angiogenesis foods on the menu. Can't even count the pickles. Cucumbers are not on the list. I had the double dog (a single large spicy sausage dog with Packo's famous chili sauce), chips, and small Mountain Dew. Not a healthy choice but not bad for the daily calories.
We had a meaningful talk today. He's hyperactive, and it's hard to keep his attention on any one thing. Since I've had the cancer diagnosis, his concern is a bit overwhelming and his care is smothering. Where is this coming from? That was one of the things that wasn't working in the past. When I've had major surgeries and a long confined recovery, he visited one time. One stinking time. Maybe I should cut him some slack for calling me while in the hospital and rehab. He can't sit still very long. I don't expect more from him. I know that's his personality. He amuses me. He's a dear friend.
We stopped at Kroger and picked up a few groceries. After I dropped him off at his condo, I meandered on country roads on my way to the post office. It was a lovely Summer day, sunny, not unbearably hot (I have ac in the car anyway). Lot of farmer's fields and blue skies. Expressway is under construction/repair so I was avoiding it.
Took the required nap when I got home. Feeling good.
Didn't feel like eating again but wanted something for supper so I wouldn't get ravenous later and make unhealthy choices. I still wanted 2 more anti angiogenesis foods today. I wanted something more substantial than fruit. Tomato sandwich sounded like too much food. The answer? A can of V-8, considered 2 servings of vegetables.
There, I now have 5 anti angiogenesis foods for today. The amount will be higher when I eat my meals at home.
I'm feeling pleased with the calorie count for the day. It's a little low. I've been running a little over the top of my limit but still losing when I check the scale each morning. I'm not real active so I'm not sure why I'm burning more calories than what Spark has generously listed for my calorie range.
Overall, my mood is upbeat and I am pleased.
I have so much for which to be thankful.
Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 8/22/2015 (23:45)
Monday, August 3, 2015 - Day 60 of 100
Down 7.6 pounds for this personal challenge
Thunderstorm and an unsettling dream woke me. The storm sounds close, rumbling the house. The wind was blowing the trees before we went to bed. I have to be up at 6AM so I can't stay up long now. I've been catching up on Spark and reading blogs. I think of them as my daily dose of happy. They are not all happy blogs but I find motivation and give support. It makes me happy.
Appointment at wound care center. Old wraps removed, new boot applied. Dressing stuck to wound. Burning.
I joined Spark People support group for Anti Angiogenesis, eating to beat cancer. I checked out the recommended web sites, read some of the postings on the support group site, checked out the leaders recipe book on Spark. It's common sense, the way farmers have been eating, the way I grew up eating lots of fruits and vegetables.
Several members mentioned Fuhrman's Eat to Live. I think my sister may have sent me that book earlier this year. Time to check it out thoroughly and see if it's doable. She had to go off that when she got colon cancer this year. She was on a very restrictive diet for that kind of cancer.
Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 8/4/2015 (21:01)
Sunday, August 2, 2015 - Day 59 of 100
Down 6.4 pounds for this personal challenge
I am so excited that my weight is going down. I am not sticking to low carb. I am coming in just over my calorie limit....and still losing! Eating in moderation.
Slept well last night. Going to bed when tired, way before midnight! Only got up once during the night. Up for the morning around 4 AM after 8 hours of sleep.
Saturday, August 1, 2015 - Day 58 of 100
I've been sleeping when I feel like it. If I get tired, I lay down. Slept good last night for at least 6 or 7 hours. I didn't have to get up to use the bathroom! I feel energetic, ready to take on today's chores and get some extra cleaning done.
I know Sis is worried about me. Everything will fall on her shoulders because she lives with me. I'm not frail. Nothing has changed except that we now have a diagnosis we weren't aware of last week.
Stayed home today. Finally, a day at home! Took several short naps. Kids were over in the late afternoon. We had hot dogs and chips. (I had one beef hot dog and one serving of chips.)
Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 8/2/2015 (05:34)
Friday, July 31, 2015 - Day 57 of 100
Diagnosis came back endometrial cancer. The gynecologist is transferring my care to another doctor who can do the hysterectomy and check lymph node involvement. CT scan, MRI, and appointment with new doctor scheduled for next week.
My weight is slowly going back down. That makes me happy. I had blueberries and yogurt for breakfast. Pork steak and corn on the cob for lunch. Tomato sandwich planned for supper. Lemonade and Swiss cheese (2 cubes) for snack. This is not low carb plan but low enough in calories to lose weight.
Doctor-ordered nap done.
* * * * *
Supper plan changed. Tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches, yummmm.
Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 8/1/2015 (08:05)
Thursday, July 30, 2015 - Day 56 of 100
Appointment with endocrinologist today. Lot of construction on the expressways. I allowed almost 2 hours to get there and made it about 15 minutes before my appointment.
He is retiring so I won't have that long drive again. I could see one of the other four endocrinologists in the same office but I want to find someone closer to home.
I had a bad experience years ago with the first endocrinologist. The first visit he wanted to remove my thyroid.
I have goiter and Hashimoto's thyroiditis. I went to my sisters' endocrinologist for another opinion and have stuck with him since, even with the long drive. I did not need my thyroid removed. My sisters are on thyroid meds but I haven't even needed that. I need to find another doc as good as him.
On the way home, we stopped at the pharmacy, post office, grocery store, and a farm stand. They have bicolor sweet corn and garden ripened tomatoes.
We had Marie Callendar chicken pot pies for lunch. Tasty, but a whopping 650 calories. I can't afford to do that very often.
We had tomato sandwiches for supper. Yummy and healthy, low on calories.
I'm over on calories (1966). Carbs are high (175).
I've taken several naps today. I'm like a bear hibernating.
Feeling determined tonight. Back it up with daily commitment. I cannot let the stuff life throws at me sidetrack me from living my best life everyday.
Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 7/30/2015 (23:34)
Wednesday, July 29, 2015 - Day 55 of 10
Appointment at the wound care center today. She debried the sore on the back of my leg where I hit it with the car door last Wednesday. It burns. The leg is wrapped in foam and wrappings. She thinks she'll try to get me into their lymphedema clinic to better control the swelling in my legs. (I've done that three times before at other lymphedema clinics. I thought I was doing much better, but of course today my leg was swollen more than usual.)
Rain and traffic congestion from construction areas on the expressway on the way to and from my appointment.
I looked up directions to the endocrinologist's office for tomorrow's appointment. I only have to see him every two years now. It's about an hour and a half drive under normal conditions. The person who called to remind me of my appointment said there is construction near their office so allow extra time.
The gynecologist office called to reschedule my surgical follow-up appointment to this week instead of next week. I asked if it was bad news. The person calling said she didn't have that information. I have too much going on medically right now to worry about what might be but it does cause concern.
I've been dodging bullets too long. I want to be in better shape to help my body fight off all this stuff. Instead my weight climbs with each stress, injury or surgery.
Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 7/31/2015 (16:10)
Tuesday, July 28, 2015 - Day 54 of 100
I spent hours on the phone, making business calls, setting up appointments.
First up was a call for a clothes dryer repairman. The dryer was making a terrible screeching noise. Sis took the clothes to the laundromat early this morning to dry them. It was some kind of part with bearing that was locking up. The belts were fine, working like they should, but this other part was sticking. Thank goodness it was covered by the appliance repair service fee I've added to my monthly electric bill. Score one for the homeowner this time.
The other calls were to schedule (or reschedule) four medical appointments and one salon appointment. Call to the annuity company. Call to the hotel rewards company that got me no where and is still unresolved. They're closed now in the wee morning hours so back to them tomorrow.
March of Dimes called, wanting me to send letters to 12 neighbors. No. Do I even know 12 neighbors? We hate getting those kind of letters from our neighbors so why would I do that to them? I could give money instead if I wasn't up to doing the letters. No. I wouldn't have to send the money in until September. I do not feel good right now. I do not have any money. Please stop calling me. Polite, courteous, hopefully with firmness, and sounding a little pathetic. Coughing from dry throat (see below) and trying to get in a few sips of ice water to calm the storm.
I was surprised by the call history in the phone, to see how many calls come in here each day. There are calls for fundraisers: medical, charities, and political. How many ways are there to say NO? I'm maxed. Call someone else. Some of them are very good organizations that I support as I can. Some I've never given to but they still call or send mail. I've had to cut back and be very choosy about contributions, selecting a few of the ones I feel very strongly about supporting.
I am bombarded by fundraisers in the mail. Then they send reminders that I haven't sent a donation for the lovely little gifts they sent. Does it make me feel guilty all the freebies they send, asking for a donation? I can never move because I have more free address labels than I can use in my lifetime. Stationary, greeting cards, an occasional scarf or light blanket, tote bags, calendars, date books, and miscellaneous doodads. I do not understand the ones that enclose money they expect you to return with your donation, usually nickels and dimes, etc. How many people actually send those coins back? I taped them all together after receiving multiples from them several times and sent them back (sans check) but they don't travel well through the post office sorting machine. Why should I send them a donation when they obviously have all these coins to waste? At least if they enclose a check for me to return to them along with my personal check, they are not out any money when I shred their check.
Several years ago I tried stopping some of the junk mail by returning their cards with "Remove me from your mailing list" messages. That was not an overwhelming success. One sent a letter explaining their advertising mail was sent out by a third party so they have no control over the mailing list. I still get this kind of mail addressed to my parents who passed away years ago. Bizarre. They do not need your services.
* * * * *
Food is starting to taste more normal. I am still terribly thirsty. A bit of a sore throat, probably from whatever the anesthesiologist did to my throat during surgery.
I am wondering why they gave me doses of antibiotics Vancomycin and Levaquin during surgery. I'm familiar with them but never had them for this purpose. Why would I need an antibiotic during surgery? Maybe because of an MRSA diagnosis by the wound care center in 2013? There were precautions in every room I was taken to before, during, and after surgery. Feeling a little like Typhoid Mary (saying this with a slight smile now) but I would rather they take precautions and keep all of us safe.
They had me drink a nasty tasting Alka Seltzer drink before surgery to counteract nausea following surgery. I asked why it was ok to drink right before surgery when they told me to stop drinking so many hours before surgery. The nurse gave an unsatisfactory answer that I am allowed so many ounces of fluids (obviously at their discretion) before surgery.
I always have a glass of ice water nearby, so you can imagine how cotton mouth I was by surgery at 11AM.
* * * * *
Bear and I went to a buffet restaurant for supper. He had a buy one-get one free coupon. I was anticipating their meatloaf and baked potato. Not low carb but I am getting such needed mileage out of being pampered because I've been sick.
They didn't have meatloaf tonight. Replaced by the carvery station. Disappointed. They still had breaded fish, several different kinds of chicken, and a salisbury steak kind of dish. No, no, and no. I settled for a small slice of carved ham.
They have a good bean salad on the salad bar. It's not the usual 3 bean salad. This one has no green beans. It's full of little beans, chewy. There are lima beans, soy beans, black eyed peas, kidney beans, and others. Interesting to the palate. Lately I've chosen a very small helping of the bean salad to follow my meal instead of dessert.
I'm getting good at eating moderately at buffet restaurants. Dessert doesn't bother me at all because it's mostly stuff I can have any time any where, even at home. That serve-yourself tastee freeze stuff gives me brain freeze so it's not tempting.
The bread pudding is the best of the desserts. It's now served in a small single serving dish. Every time I've had it since they made the change to single serving portions, my stomach felt uneasy afterwards so it's not worth it. I don't think it's the same as when they used to serve it in a big pan and you spooned out your own serving.
We were ready to go home when I noticed the rear passenger tire on bear's car was flat. It was so hot today. He looked miserable, working up a sweat. It's a new car to him so he wasn't aware of the locking mechanism on the hubcap.
Had a lovely talk with my sister in another state tonight, returning my call after I left a message this morning. She's healing following chemo and radiation. Her one and only child is there for a short visit. It's so good for her, getting out of the house again after being so ill. Why do family always live so far away? They went out to eat twice at the same restaurant, the wait staff and chef trying to satisfy her special dietary restrictions now and explaining ingredients. She was pleased.
* * * * *
Just ran the spell checker here. Their suggestions for replacement words crack me up. Is Finnegan really a good substitution for the drug Vancomycin or substituting Lifeguard for Levaquin? Spell checker always has trouble when I use "each" in a sentence. Sometimes it suggests changing it to "etch." That one makes me wonder.
Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 7/29/2015 (02:33)
Monday, July 27, 2015 - Day 53 of 100
Going through a rocky spell.
Dog died Sunday. Cried until I felt sick.
I had surgery today. Hurting.
Nothing tastes right, probably because of the anesthesia.
Please, God, let tomorrow be a little better.
Thursday, July 23, 2015 - Day 49 of 100
Poobeah and I went out to lunch at a buffet restaurant today. I pretty much avoided desserts. I went to the salad bar for my after-meal dessert, just a few bites of a couple different things they had on the salad bar. There was a bean salad with soy beans that was exceptional. You are probably thinking green beans and kidney beans when I say bean salad. It didn't have any of those in it. It was tiny, chewable beans.
We stopped at Walmart. Later after I dropped him off, I went to Kroger for the few items I was not able to get on the list yesterday when I was in pain. Then to the post office. They are so nice to us there. Come out and hold the door open for me and chat for a second while they work. It's hard to get through heavy doors with my walker.
Watched reruns on Fixer Upper. Now a little computer time before bed.
Geek techs called tonight to run monthly scans on the computers but I was too tired tonight. He will call tomorrow morning.
Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 7/29/2015 (02:34)
Wednesday, July 22, 2015 - Day 48 of 100
Only gained a pound on vacation. I was sure it would be more. I will have that off before weigh in on Saturday.
I sorted mail and paid bills this morning. Went to the post office this afternoon. After removing my walker from the back seat, I didn't step as far away from the car door as I thought I had. When I slammed the door behind me, it caught my calf. That brought tears! I was sure it was bleeding. It scudded the skin back and left it burning and seeping. Sis cut the skin off when I got home and put neosporin on it. It burns if anything touches it so I had to change into something looser.
I went on to the grocery store after the post office. My legs hurt so bad so I had to leave without getting everything on the list. The bagger unloaded my cart, then helped load the groceries into the car.
I picked up lunch at Arby's and went to the park by the river. I needed to sit for awhile. Arby's have a new sandwich, with brown sugar smoky bacon, lettuce, and tomato. It was soooo good.
I tried to lay down this afternoon but couldn't stand anything touching the sore on my calf. I finally fell asleep. Woke up when the lady got here for our waxing appointment. She's a professional but she sure does get wax on everything, including dripping it on parts of my face that don't need waxing. After she leaves my whole face feels sticky.
I had a beef hot dog and strawberry shortcake for supper.
We watched bits of programs: Property Brothers, Buying and Selling, and then the crazy Kitchen cousins. I would not let those Kitchen cousins anywhere near my kitchen, even as much as it needs help. They used to design nice spaces in the earlier days when they worked with their family. Now they try to top the last outrageous thing they did. Everything is industrial looking, beat up (like something that was discarded in someone's barn for 50 years), and very masculine. My first thought is how much is this going to cost me to fix what they've done.
As much as we like the Scott brothers programs and Fixer Upper, I don't understand why they would not try to improve a house instead of dumbing it down by mistreating beautiful furniture to make it look "rustic." Why not go for polished look and raise the value? Even our furniture that has been in the family for generations is preserved and treated with care.
I don't understand why Fixer Upper is so reasonable on prices while everything costs a fortune on shows like Love It or List It. Hillary is always having to cross projects off the list because no amount of money seems to satisfy the contractors she works with. She does an amazing job, but what is with the figurine of a hand that she leaves in so many houses? It gives me the creeps.
The price difference can't all be based on prices in different parts of the country. Flip or Flop originates in pricey California but they try to keep the costs down because they are working for themselves, then selling it when done.
Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 7/23/2015 (21:18)
Thursday, July 16, 2015 - Day 42 of 100
Down .4 pounds on this 100 day personal challenge
On vacation in Michigan's upper peninsula.
Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 7/29/2015 (13:54)
Wednesday, July 15, 2015 - Day 41 of 100
Down .4 pounds on this 100 day personal challenge
Getting ready to leave on vacation tomorrow. Up with the chickens today. Went to the post office and grocers. They were out of the Ice Mountain spring water we take on vacation. Fueled and washed the car. Back home before 10 AM. Doing laundry and packing stuff for the trip.
Dog has a grooming appointment at noon.
Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 7/15/2015 (10:30)
Tuesday, July 14, 2015 - Day 40 of 100
Down .8 pounds on this 100 day personal challenge
Started the day right with low carb breakfast from the menu in the ATKINS MADE EASY book. Half a green pepper and 2 sausage patties.
Had a noon appointment with the dentist to repair the tooth I broke July 4. Xay and a temporary filling, $125. I will be having more work later, including a crown.
Stopped by the church to drop off a bad of 5000 used postage stamps. They are processed and sold which funds some missions overseas.
Had a lovely talk and prayer with the senior pastor's wife. She is a wonderful woman, a godly comfort.
Returned materials to the library next door to the church and checked out 6 books. I will read most of them while on vacation.
Picked up lunch at Wendy's so I probably won't show a loss tomorrow. Eating at the Italian Grill yesterday reduced the number of pounds I've lost on this 100 day journey.
Sat out the heavy rain until it stopped. The sun was shining when I decided it was safe to start home. NOT! As I drove north, I realized I was leaving the sun behind me and driving into the rain. More heavy rain and nowhere to pull over.
The back yard is not under water yet. That's rain yesterday and today. What is happening this Summer? Flooding in June with rainfall breaking the record set in 1930. Rain and some cooler temps in July. Still humid because of all the rain. Healthy batch of mosquitoes. I am not an outdoor person anyway.
Which reminds me. The prescription I got today had a sticker warning to avoid prolonged exposure to sunlight. That's the second med I'm on with that warning. Years ago I used to wonder why I would feel sick and nauseous after working outside. Then the pharmacy stuck the sticker on one of the meds I was on.
Another med I take doesn't agree with any alcohol consumption. A friend described it as the "ultimate hot flash."
Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 7/14/2015 (21:55)
Monday, July 13, 2015 - Day 39 of 100
Down 3.4 pounds on this 100 day personal challenge
Pre-op appointment at the hospital at 11AM. Fasted for blood work. I wanted to weigh less before surgery, but the nurse was very pleasant and professional when she weighed me. That helped make me feel less anxious about it. When I said it was higher than the doctor's scale, she pointed out that I was fully clothed and wearing shoes. (New Balance shoes feel heavy so I think they add a couple of pounds.) I promise myself my weight will be lower (within reason) when I have the surgery on July 27.
Then an appointment at 1PM with the surgery coordinator at the doctor's office. I got there early but had to wait till the coordinator got back from lunch.
Starved by then with no breakfast or lunch. I was meeting bear for a late lunch so I didn't want to eat after having the blood work or I wouldn't enjoy lunch later.
We went to an Italian grill. Their restaurant closer to us was closed years ago. The new restaurant is upscale and gorgeous. Attentive staff. Some private curtained booths. Beautiful hand blow glass shades on hanging lamps, each one different.
I have been craving lasagna for over 2 months. It's surprising how few restaurants here serve it. I ordered the classic lasagna and a cup of lobster bisque. The bread was crunchy. I couldn't decide if the peanutty flavor was in the bread or the olive oil-sundried tomatoes we dipped the bread in. No dessert.
The lasagna was nothing to brag about but the bisque was delicious. The portions were smaller than usual. I planned to bring some of it home until I saw the serving size. It WAS breakfast and lunch, you know.
That meal was most of my calorie allotment for the day.
For supper I made tuna salad over lettuce. Healthy choice. We had small servings of pumpkin custard Sis made to use up some pumpkin she had. It's not sweet, and we didn't have any whipped topping. It was hot and hit the spot, perfect paired with the salad.
I still feel uncomfortably full tonight.
Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 7/13/2015 (23:27)
Sunday, July 12, 2015 - Day 38 of 100
Down 1.4 pounds on this 100 day personal challenge
I've been up and down on this journey, doing my usual lose pounds, gain pounds routine. I am so sick of doing that. Only I can change that pattern.
Yesterday was a good start to getting the ball rolling in the right direction. I was lower on calories yesterday. Down .6 pounds this morning. I will take every loss I can achieve.
Now to string some losses together this week! I'm off to a good start there, too, but it's only 7:44 AM so I haven't had much time to screw it up.
I'm sipping ice water as I write this. That's a good choice.
Tomorrow is the pre-op visit at the hospital. I REALLY wanted to have lost substantial weight before that. I could have achieved that if I didn't get lost after losing a few pounds. Lost in the lose-gain cycle because I get off track.I weigh 11 pounds more than I did at the doctor's office last month.
I will continue working to lose more weight before the surgery 14 days later.
I gain weight easily. That means I will always have to be extremely diligent for the rest of my life. Moderation, moderation, and more moderation. I can live with moderation.
* * * * *
So much for going to bed early last night. I got sidetracked and went to bed after midnight, just like I usually do. Back up a little after 6 AM. Add naptime, and I'm doing all right.
Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 7/12/2015 (07:56)
Saturday, July 11, 2015 - Day 37 of 100
Woohoo, under on calories today! So why do I feel so full? Carbs make me feel full.
Slept in till 9 AM this morning because I went to bed around 3 AM. Wrote an encouraging letter to little Sis who is doing chemo and radiation. She is getting so discouraged and tired of feeling too sick to do anything. Wish she lived closer.
Went to the post office, bank, and grocery store. Coupon day always takes longer to match coupons to products. Between store savings and coupon savings, around $70 off.
I was able to unload my own cart at checkout. Then the bagger helped me load the car because I was really in pain by then. When people have arthritis, they tend to baby the parts that hurt. It is better if we exercise. I don't use the electric carts. I push a regular cart and walk. I don't do every aisle, only the ones that have the items I need.
Tonight I feel cold and stiff. Getting started when I first stand up is difficult and painful.
There's something decadent about going to bed before midnight. The sun is still shining. 8 PM and I'm heading to bed. I will probably sleep for a few hours, then get up for awhile before going back to sleep for a few hours before morning. I won't stay in the bed that long. That's my usual pattern.
My rule is that if I'm comfortable, I stay in bed even if I'm wide awake, until I get at least 6 or 7 hours of sleep. If I'm in pain, I give myself permission to get up for awhile.
Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 7/11/2015 (19:58)