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ANNIESADVENTURE's Photo ANNIESADVENTURE Posts: 5,772
4/24/17 10:37 A

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Not getting much blogging done on my page, and very few people find my journal here so my friends think I am being silent. Not so. My journal is the down and dirty. My blogs are where I share anything that I think will be encouraging to others, or where I post about something profound and meaningful to me.

Eating: There have been ups and downs since my family decided to do the Burn Garcinia slow carb plan. I am following low carb with them but not taking garcinia. My weight is moving down again. Yesterday (Sunday) we had pork roast, peas and carrots, and sliced tomatoes for lunch. It was delicious.
My brother and SIL are home from Arizona for the summer so they stopped by for a visit. By the time my niece got home from work and my bro and SIL left, supper was late. Everyone was hemhawing about what to eat. Sis made sandwich from the leftover cold pork roast. It was awful, tasted fatty because it was cold. My niece warmed up some squash. I felt so sick before I finished, trying not to let them know or act ungrateful. From now on, I am in control of my own supper. I will plan and fix what I can eat. I shouldn't have had the bread at all. The squash is starch and not a good choice.
I added things to the grocery list that I can eat. (Once again my niece deleted some of the things I added, even though I am paying for the groceries. I miss my independence, doing my own shopping.)
I will plan healthy meals for myself. I will not wait for them to make up their mind about what to eat. My house, my rules? That sounds terrible.We get along well. I love having them here. But the same as anytime there is more than one person involved, there is conflict and compromise. Feelings can get hurt. Being dependent on others creates most of my inner conflict. I am so used to quietly doing what I want when I want: get in the car and go (shopping, out to eat, etc). Now I have to ask for others to do things. I have been able to do online shopping for most non-food items. Amazon even has some pantry style food items. While I sound like I'm complaining, I am still so blessed.

* * * * *
My new book has arrived. I am so excited! I've been wanting this for years but I couldn't remember the name or the author of the book. Yep, it's a little nit nerdy. It's a history book we used in school. 1963 version of Wests' Story of Our Country. I was looking at history books on eBay. There were several versions with the same title (Story of our Country) by different authors over a wide range of years. I found one dating back to the 1930s, and some more recent than the one I bought (by different authors). The year is important because historians (like newspeople) now want to interpret, not report. Just the facts, ma'am. Don't give me your version of what you want to believe. When I popped the title in to do comparison price shopping, I recognized the cover on this one. Wow! Excitement! The one I got is from Amazon so they delivered it on Sunday. It's an ex-public-library copy but it good condition. Did I say I'm excited?

* * * * *
I am waiting for Service people to call me about our freezer. It quit working properly this weekend. It's cold but not freezing. We took everything out and put it in the other freezer so we didn't lose any food. We have the service agreement (and replacement) through our electric company so hopefully I won't have to pay anything. While I was waiting on the phone today with the electric company, the recorded soundtrack said they've added plumbing to their services, too. My brother thinks all this is crazy because he fixes whatever breaks down at his house. Problem is I don't have anyone here to fix stuff so a service like the electric company offers is valuable. I've seen similar services offered on commercials by free-standing companies.


Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 4/24/2017 (10:48)
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4/22/17 1:19 A

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Off and running again. I am up 4 pounds for this month. Not bad, since there were days when it was more than 10 pounds up. Wish I would stop this lose-regain stuff.

Family has decided to do the Burn Carcinia plan. I looked at the info sheet included with the pills, and it seems like Atkins again. That's ok with me. They can take their pills, and we will all eat low carb and see if I don't do just as well. Atkins works for me. I modify it some and don't go crazy on animal protein. It will frustrate Sis because she loves her fruit and fruit juices. On their info sheet, it said she can have "sour fruit" like lemons, limes. She can have avocado in limited amounts. No oranges or orange juice.

This gives me hope. It should change the groceries purchased and give me better choices. I was surprised that their sheet said no canned vegetables. Probably because of salt? It will be good to have fresh and frozen vegetables in more variety and quantity than what she was buying before.

Wonder of wonders, we had salads today. I usually make and eat salads alone. Sis brought us each a very nice salad from McDonalds.Todays intake was basically salad and eggs.

I really need to take advantage of their motivation. I am usually doing this alone. It gives me so much hope to have everyone in the house moving in the same direction.

* * * * *
A friend posted a scanned newspaper column on her Facebook wall. Here are the first couple of sentences:
I asked God to take away my habit. God said, "No, it is not for me to take away, but for you to give up..."

That made me think. If you've been reading my entries, I posted a couple days ago (3/26/17) where I expressed frustration about many things with my health. When I read this, it spoke to my heart and I've been pondering and praying it since. I whisper to myself throughout the day, "This ______ is for you to give up" when I'm thinking about eating unwisely or anything else that has to do with health. God will give us strength but He does not do it for us...unless getting sick lately when I eat (or food not tasting as good as anticipated) is a gift from Him? Well, it did cross my mind, though I'm not sure that's how He operates.

I know eating healthy depends on me. I cherish His strength to help me, but it's still up to me to follow through. I can override that small voice that reminds me what I should be doing. There is always that two-second window between thought and action where I have the power to do what is in my best interest.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 4/22/2017 (01:37)
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4/18/17 1:42 P

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WATERMELLEN wrote a blog on the 5 Thieves of Happiness. She explored the five things that steal our innate happiness that we already have. The first was control.

That makes me think: Can I be happy even with my physical condition? I am in pain every day. I am very concerned about my future as I become less independent and more limited in mobility. I am very concerned about the extra weight that won't budge as I become more inactive. I cry frequently when alone. Can I be happy with life as it is right now? It will only get worse so I need to enjoy today.

I think about Comedian Mark Lowery's routine about living life backwards. If we could start out old and in the nursing home, and live our lives in reverse, progressing back to retirement, and then working years, raising family, and finally being a child again, there are so many things we would do differently. We would enjoy each day more. We would appreciate everything. As the song goes, we don't know what we have until it's gone or we are threatened with loss.

* * * * *
I've been very sick the last two days, maybe a 24 hour bug? The most frustrating part was not being able to eat. Did I lose weight? Scale was down about 1 pound. I should celebrate but my initial feeling was disappointment that it was so little. Geesh!
I think it's because my weight goes up so easily and down so slowly. I can gain ten pounds in two days but it will take weeks to lose the same ten pounds.
Is my weight something under my control?

As Watermellen says, "I can control what I eat myself, and my own immediate food environment, primarily with planning and avoiding temptation. But I cannot control the proliferation of fast-food restaurants and manufactured salt/sugar/fat options in the junk food aisles at the grocery store and there's little point in railing angrily about that or using it to excuse my own indulgences. Because: it's not all about me -- and Spark People is a place of service to others, supporting others on our journey. I can celebrate the weight loss successes of others (rather than being envious of their size 2 or size 4 bodies), celebrate what their experiences can offer me and choose to be grateful. I can choose to be content now with my own size 8s: realistic for my height and age and the amount of time I can devote to exercise and . . . I can continue to try new approaches, new methods, new patterns of behaviour that will help keep me MAINtaining!!! "

I am no where near maintenance. It's so far away that I can't even envision it. But I can control what I eat. Can I be content with staying hungry when I don't have healthy choices. I don't have the luxury of controlling my food environment because I live with others. I am not able to do the grocery shopping or cooking. In all fairness, I am able to add items to the grocery list if I want to.
We only have one family meal a day. The rest is under my control.
It has to be easy to make. Most days I don't have the energy to prep and cook. When I try, I pay for it with increased physical pain the rest of the day. Many times I don't eat when it's left up to me because I don't have the energy to prepare anything.
Since the bout with cancer, many foods no longer taste good. I thought that would pass by now but it may be permanent. Some of my favorite foods make me ill now. I look at my 50 year old niece, still able to snack on chips and pop for supper, and I remember when I could eat however I wanted and not suffer for it.

My mind wants more fruits and vegetables, and limited animal products. Sometimes fruits keep me in the bathroom. I crave salads. Yummy greens, crispy vegetables. The last few times I've had a salad, I didn't feel well afterwards and had to spend time in the bathroom. Sis said she would bring me a vegetable salad tonight when she comes. We'll see how that goes.

I wonder if I got cancer because of the big reduction in fruits and vegetables since my family moved home. They don't eat how we used to eat. Sis says she loves vegetables but we don't have them everyday. We grew up on a farm. We've had gardens all of our lives until now that we are no longer physically able to garden. I miss fresh-from-the-garden produce.

* * * * *
I love to surf blogs here at Spark. I call it my happy place. I read this one today that made me laugh. Enjoy!
www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_
individual.asp?blog_id=6350132


Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 4/18/2017 (14:09)
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4/9/17 2:44 A

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Mammogram report came back normal.
The oncologist's office rescheduled my appointment this week to late June. This six months has stretched into a year.

I really want to be smaller before I see the oncologist again. He is not going to be happy that I've put the weight back on that I lost when I was so sick.
I think I have my weight under control for a few days as the pounds start dropping, then here they come again. I am so tired of losing and regaining the same pounds.
It's no big secret how to lose weight. We have to take in less calories than we burn.
My health has deteriorated. I'm not bouncing back. I'm less active. Every day functions are a struggle. It doesn't take much fuel to sustain life at this level. I don't know how I can cut back more than I am. I usually eat one cooked meal each day. I have a snack in the evening.
Sometimes I don't have the energy to prepare anything so I go long periods without eating. Nothing sounds good. Nothing tastes good like it used to taste.
I know all the arguments about being in starvation mode so the body hangs on to the pounds. If I eat more I gain pounds quickly. I am not starving myself. I wouldn't be maintaining this ridiculous amount of weight if I was starving.
Sometimes I think the only way to lose it is to stop eating like I did when I had cancer and was too sick to keep anything down. No, I don't ever want to go through that again. That is not a good way to lose weight. It messed up my body chemistry and put me back in the hospital.
For healthy weight loss, we are told not to skip meals. Make healthy choices.

Wish I had a personal cook to prepare meals so I didn't have to think about any of this. My brain is tired.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 4/9/2017 (02:59)
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3/26/17 2:56 A

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Spark People made a change on the main page. At first it was annoying. I do not like change. They did away with giving our favorite Spark teams points. They hid some features that I use daily and it took me awhile to find them. I was so frustrated.

They added a feature to the page like the wall on Facebook. People post. Others can comment or hit the Like button. At first it seemed to be annoying stuff that really didn't matter. Then people started posting before and after pictures of themselves. I've always been inspired by success stories. I am so inspired by the before and after pictures. If there are that many people who have lost a significant amount of weight, why can't I? My after picture would be much larger than my before picture since I now weigh more than 80 pounds more than when I joined Spark.
I've gone through some very hard times in the years I've been here. I've lost those dearest to me. I've suffered health issues, diseases and injuries and surgeries. Now I am losing mobility and independence. My weight is working against me.
Why can't I set a course and stay true? Others have worked their way down to a healthier weight. Why can't I? Not perfection but progress. Why?

As my last few entries have reflected, I am going through a time of deep soul searching. I am taking a break from my 5% challenges. I need to get my heart and head together. I am only deluding myself into thinking this lose-regain-lose-regain stuff is working. It has never worked in the past, and it won't work in the future. What is that saying, about thinking we can keep doing what we've always done and get different results? Until I am ready to truly change for more than three weeks (or 6 week or 2 months) at a time, this will not work. It has to be a lifetime commitment to a new lifestyle. My head has known that for a long time. So why can't I do what I know I should do every day for the rest of my life? Why do I succeed for awhile, then self destruct? When I am succeeding, is the plan really unsustainable? I have so much head knowledge. What is the missing piece?
"Just do it" is not enough to carry me through long term. Is it that I know I have to change (for my health's sake) but really rebel about that idea? Do I really NOT want to change? I resent the need to change even while I know that I HAVE to change. Well, as one author said, No, we really don't HAVE to change. We can keep doing what we've been doing and keep getting what we've been getting.
I want better for myself.

Look at the ticker. It was 31 pounds lost a month ago. Now it says 11 pounds lost. That is so typical. I have lost hundreds and gained hundreds of pounds, yo yo fashion. I don't want to do this anymore.
I don't want to be overweight. I don't want to be unhealthy. I don't want to give up unhealthy food. I don't want to discipline myself to do what I need to do. I can't have it both ways. God, please help me.

Why would I want something that is not in my best interest? How have I persuaded myself that being undisciplined and eating unhealthy food is more pleasurable than taking care of myself? What has happened to my sense of self preservation?

Taking care of myself has to become my focus. More than my focus, it has to become something I WANT to do more than the pleasure of short term unhealthy behavior. It has to spring from the core of my being. I must WANT what is best for me. I want what is best for my family and loved ones, so why not for me? I have to start seeing things through the filter of what is best for me. Will that help me shrink in horror from behavior and food that ultimately hurts me?
Who am I listening to? Someone who doesn't like me? A little voice who says short term pleasure is better than long term pleasure? I must be most discriminating and start talking back. I must take back my life.

I know a 55 years old man who does not eat sweets. He says he did not grow up eating them, so why should he start now? We smugly smile at his claim because he doesn't know what he is missing...but maybe he is on to something. He has a different way of thinking than the rest of us. I should envy him. How do I move into that place of indifference to things that are not good for me?

Years ago I care for two children who could not be bribed by sweets. Food in general was not that important to them. In fact, the boy would forget to eat until he got a stomach ache. His mom would tell me to remind him to eat. How do people get like that? Is it genetic?

What do these three people know that I don't? Is it a sense of self preservation that has not been overrun by bad decisions again and again?

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 3/26/2017 (04:09)
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3/26/17 1:31 A

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I need space for a little rant. Few people bother to read my journal so I'm putting it here instead of in a blog.

Tonight the Hallmark Channel had a movie on that infuriated me the first time I saw it, and did the same tonight. Of course, my family was oblivious and wanted to watch it. I've never made it even halfway through that movie before I have to leave the room (after making my feelings known...while everyone tries to ignore me while they keep watching the movie).

The city council turned down the request for bike lanes because they didn't have the money to do it. The special interest group didn't protest like today's snowflakes but they took the city to court to try to force them to give them what they want. No, they did not offer to help pay or raise the money. They just threw a hissy fit and said I want it and you need to give it to me. Not that it wasn't a good cause.
I wan't impressed with the city's attorney. After he pointed out at the beginning that there was no money for this project, he never said another word at subsequent hearings. He should have hammered that home. Would they like the city to take the money away from fire or police or maybe even away from their children's school so 50 people could have a bike lane?
Why can't people be part of the solution instead of creating a problem? To reinforce their cause, they get 200 people to sign a petition supporting them. Next to each name, they should have added how much each person was donating to the cause...because we know anyone can sign a petition, but put your money where your mouth is. I would be looking for contributions starting at a thousand because this is not a nickle and dime expense. What don't they understand about "there is no money right now for this project"? So solve the money issue and you just might get what you are demanding. Do they run their personal lives like that, charging everything they want, even when they know they can't pay for it?

So I left the room, went to bed early...which is why I am up now at 1 o'clock in the morning.

What does any of this have to do with food? I like to think I'm a reasonable adult but there have been many times in my life when I've demonstrated the same attitude about food that these fools were demonstrating about their bike lane.

Both are worthy causes. They need the bike lane for safety. We need food to survive.
When do they become a problem? When it's time to pay the piper.

They didn't want to wait until there was money for the bike lane.

While there is a cost involved in buying excess food, there is a bigger expense to our health. That is the true cost of eating our way willy nilly through life. Eventually our health demands we pay the piper.

As an older adult, I am not happy that I can't eat the way I used to. I do not expend the same amount of energy I did when I was younger. I can feel full halfway through a cheeseburger. My meals are snack size now because my body does not need that much food. I can make the choice to make those few bites something nutritious and healthy, or I can eat chips and pop and skip a balanced meal. I can't do both.

Worse than that, I am now paying the cost to my health for the way I have treated my body. I have to live with that every day. We act like we will always have more time to make things right. Believe me, folks, it isn't so.

Your future self will thank you if you change your ways and do the right thing now. Get really serious with yourself about the cost of what you are doing today. Take it from someone who knows.

Writing this makes me hungry. Time to raid the kitchen.

Just joking. Seriously, what don't I understand about all of this? Don't I understand I am running out of chances to lose this weight and enjoy independence and mobility? Why am I not doing consistently what I know I should be doing?
Because it's so hard! It's hard to change years of unhealthy habits. It takes energy to plan and prep. It the food is prepped, I will eat it.
I get tired and take the easy way out. I don't feel like shredding and spinning the lettuce when I'm hungry so I will change the salad for something easy. The solution is prepping the lettuce ahead of time and having it ready to go.

EAT FOR LIFE is really a simple plan. Eating whole foods could not be easier. How much prep is there to eating food in it's natural state?

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 3/26/2017 (02:47)
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3/24/17 10:38 P

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I am reading the booklet, I AM A SLAVE TO FOOD, by Shannon Kay McCoy. Not necessarily new ideas but it's coming together for me in a way that didn't when I heard it before. I feel crushed and broken. I am VERY overweight. It is obvious that I am eating way more than I need to maintain life. I have given myself access to food for the purpose of indulgence.

For a long time I've realized that it takes very little food to maintain life. When I was recovering from cancer surgery, I could not keep anything down. I was nauseous most of the time. I quit eating. I lost 43 pounds in that first month. That is not a good way to lose weight. It messed up my body chemistry and put me back in the hospital.

If I am going to eat only what my body needs to maintain life, then my choices need to be healthy. EAT TO LIVE, by Dr Joel Fuhrman, makes sense: nutrient dense foods. Greens, vegetables, fruit, seeds, and nuts.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 3/24/2017 (22:39)
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3/19/17 3:40 A

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Our 5% Challenge is over. I started strong but didn't end there. Didn't reach the ultimate goal but that's ok. I think I'll take a break from the Spring Challenge. I need time to evaluate and plan and rethink goals. I need time for me.

Appointment with the oncologist coming up in April. He won't be happy about my weight.

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3/2/17 1:23 A

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Thanks for your post - Keep it up, try not to let "stuff" get in your way, & it'll happen...Have a great day!

ANNIESADVENTURE's Photo ANNIESADVENTURE Posts: 5,772
3/1/17 11:51 P

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Wednesday March 1, 2017 Day 45 of the 5% Challenge
Not gaining any ground here. My health is stinking bad. I am doing some of the things I should do but it's not enough. My slow and steady turtle won't even look at me now. Even Mother Nature is crying today. Power was interrupted, probably by the wind, but it came back on after a few very dark minutes.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 3/19/2017 (03:41)
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3/1/17 12:16 A

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Tuesday February 2 Day 44 of the 5% Challenge
Not doing so good. I have let myself down. I erased all the progress I made this year. In fact I haven't weighed this much since June 22, 2016. In three weeks I wiped out 8 months of work.

I can't undo what is done. I can only go forward. February was a screwed up month. It was my choice. It was weeks of one bad choice after another.

March will be a slow and steady forward progression. I know what to do.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 3/1/2017 (00:23)
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2/24/17 12:29 A

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Thursday Feb 23, 2017 Day 39 of the 5% Challenge
Root canal today. Drilled through the crown. He explained in detail exactly what he was doing each step of the way. Such a relief to be rid of the pain.

Still not back on track with my eating. How could I do so well for weeks and then fall off like this? I am eating what I should be eating, then eating again...which puts me over the calorie limit. I had salad with white beans, tomatoes, and sunflower seeds on Romaine. around 5:30 PM. Then an hour later my niece tells me she has dinner ready. We usually just get what we want. So I ate some beans and small red-skinned potatoes. Skipped the pork loin. I've drunk a lot of water today.

It's been unseasonably warmer weather here for awhile, very strange winter, but I'm not complaining. Prediction is for storms/precipitation tomorrow. Concerned about safety.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 2/24/2017 (00:30)
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2/22/17 10:11 A

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Wednesday February 22, 2017 Day 38 of the 5% Challenge
Self sabotage? What is happening? What am I doing? I have just about wiped out the 13 pounds I lost this year. Gained 5 pounds in the last 2 days. I updated Spark weight. My ticker went from 31.2 pounds lost, to 19.8 pounds lost. That's up 11.4 pounds since last update...all within one week. Some would say that's not possible, yet for me it's usual. My weight is volatile. Very quick gains, very slow losses. I cannot delude myself into thinking this transition to Eat to Live is working. He says it's not necessary to count calories, just eat nutrient dense food until not hungry. Problem is I'm not 100% nutrient dense foods. For now, I will go back to logging in the nutrition tracker and staying at the low end of the calorie range, while still picking nutrient dense foods as much as I can. I see the benefits healthwise of eating fruits, veggies, nuts and seeds, and avoiding everything else as much as possible.


Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 2/22/2017 (10:14)
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2/21/17 12:49 A

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Monday, February 20, 2017 Day 36 of the 5% Challenge
Why can't I do this? Other people had joined here and lost the weight. Why do I keep going in circles? I am so frustrated.
We are on week 6 of the challenge. I had four good weeks. Weight loss slowed but I still made progress. Week four I wavered and now I'm allowing unhealthy eating habits to kick in. Why? WHY, WHY, WHY! Each night I say Enough, I will get right back on track but it hasn't happened.
The weight loss had slowed. I wasn't eating enough because I couldn't get the scale to cooperate. (Now I've regained six pounds in one week! I put it on very quickly.)

My sister has been talking to me for the last few years about switching over the Eat to Live. I started reading the book. It has alarming facts about the horrible health we experience when we don't eat right. The author said to not start the plan until we finish the book so we can make a proper commitment. Who wants to wait when they are reading warnings of the consequences if we don't take action? I am already experiencing those health issues. I need to change.
So I've started eating as I understand what I need to do. It seems to basically be fruits, vegetables, nuts and seeds. It is better to eliminate fats and animal products. I have no problem with that.
Many times I have a salad with fruit in it for breakfast. I have a salad with veggies and beans in it at night. Lunch is a little more flexible because that is our family meal. No problem there, because I like veggies.
I can't evaluate how it's working because I've allowed unhealthy sweets back in. They are not on anyone's plan, especially mine. Only I can control that. The sweets have nothing to do with the plan. They have to do with my indecisiveness about my eating plan. Half giving up on the old under-calorie-limit plan and half on the new Eat to Live plan. Eat to Live takes thinking, planning, and prepping time. If it's not prepped, I will eat something else.

Today we went out to eat, outside of my control, because the decision was made while we were out to stop at the restaurant my niece manages. Deep fried and very greasy is most of the menu. The coleslaw was probably the only halfway healthy thing I ate.
Tomorrow may be a repeat because we have appointments in the morning. Then we'll probably get something to eat, then on to the afternoon appointment. I hope we go to a restaurant where I can get oatmeal or a salad. They are on plan.

The Eat to Live book says that we will lose weigh following that plan, though that is not the focus. Living disease free is the focus. Another Sparker following low carb pointed out that he doesn't see how anyone can lose weigh on Eat to Live, since they allow fruit, beans, and occasionally rice (brown or wild), even starchy veggies occasionally. Why do I listen to people who confuse me?

For my health's sake, I have to lose weight and eat healthy. How many chances does one person have? I am already paying dearly for eating any way I wanted to eat for years. I WANT to do this. I want to this NOW. I will do this. As DAWNSUCCESS says, We are doing this.

We've had an unseasonably nice winter. I suspect we may be in for a weather change because today I am stiff and my bones hurt so much. That's why I'm awake again in the middle of the night. Full day tomorrow so I need to try to get more sleep.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 2/21/2017 (01:15)
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2/17/17 9:48 P

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Friday February 17, 2017 Day 33 of the 5% Challenge
I am doing it. I have not finished Dr Joel Fuhrman's book, Eat to Live. I am on page 131 out of 314 pages. He said not to start until I finish the book. How can I ignore all the things I am reading? He gives evidence between what we eat and our health. When someone tells me eating certain things will cause disease, I am not going to wait until I finish the book to do something about it.
For the past week, I've been working in more salads. He recommends two salads a day. I use one head of Romaine each day: half for a breakfast salad with fruit and nuts, the other half for a supper salad with beans and vegetables.
I already have the Romaine prepped for Saturday and Sunday because that way there are no excuses. Many times at night I am too tired to get the spinner out and prep the lettuce before eating. It's already packaged in portion size bags in the fridge, ready to go. Soooo easy.
I have not gone totally vegan but that may come. I'm not a big meat eater, but I like cheese and eggs occasionally. Have cut back on those, too. I'm finding the beans filling enough that I'm not looking for other things like cheese and eggs or meat. Again, everything in moderation, but try to make choices in line with my plan most of the time.
I think I will join the Eat to Live support group here on Spark.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 2/17/2017 (21:50)
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2/17/17 12:40 A

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Thursday February 16, 2017 Day 32 of the 5% Challenge
I couldn't be farther off track than I am this week. Everything is falling apart. I keep saying I am getting back to basics...but then another day passes. I've even been into the Christmas candy that I've ignored since the Challenge started.

I've been in more pain than usual, this time in my face (from my jaw up the side of my face, past my ear). I was able to see the dentist today. When the pain started around Christmas, it was intermittent. Now it is intense and constant, 24/7. When I saw the new dentist in the office right after Christmas, she couldn't locate the problem. Because the pain was intermittent, I was having trouble pinpointing the exact location though I suspected it was one of the anchor teeth for the bridge. Now my regular dentist confirmed it. Teeth can shift over time. I know they shift during the day because sometimes they are tight when I floss, and sometimes they are looser to floss. The shift has caused the bridge to ride a little higher, causing it not to line up with the corresponding teeth needed to grind food. Every time the bottom and lower touch, there is tremendous pain...and that's pretty much all the time, even when sleeping. He worked on grinding the problematic anchor tooth down so that it aligns better with the teeth above. I will see him again next Tuesday to follow up. I have to take an antibiotic and I can use a pain killer. I have to eat on the other side of my mouth for a couple of days. It still was too painful to eat lunch after I left the office.
After a dose of pain killer, I was able to eat supper...and overdid it. I've been munching since. Stuffed!

I think my regular dentist would have found the problem sooner. It's not something that shows in the xray but he knows me and my history and knows a lot about teeth. I should have gone back in the two months since I saw the new dentist in his office but I hate to pay again and be told she can't find anything wrong. Lesson learned. I will make sure I see my regular dentist. I am politely vocal so they did not charge me for today.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 2/17/2017 (00:42)
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2/14/17 5:15 P

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Tuesday February 14, 2017 Day 30 of the 5% Challenge
I've been a little lost this week, slipping on the eating habits. The scale has been kind through it all. I need to re-focus before any damage is done.

SLENDERELLA61 left this comment on my blog, "Personally I think it makes a whole lot more sense to set goals of things you have total control of, like sticking to calorie range, macro-nutrient ranges, exercise minutes. Then use the scale to confirm that in the long run you aren't fudging or fooling yourself. I like the lowest weigh in of each month to compare. I always made progress in that data when I was doing the right things."

The scale can be cruel at times when it doesn't reward us when we think we are doing our best. Two NSV I look for are when my clothes feel looser, and when people (especially people who don't know I'm trying to lose weight) say something nice. All three of these are outside of my control.

Setting streaks for eating within calorie range, certain macro-nutrient ranges that I target, and exercise minutes are under my control. I do feel good when I eat within my calorie range, but I haven't made that a streak I celebrate. I recently saw somebody (it may have been SLENDERELLA61) posting how many days they have gone without overeating. That's impressive.

Other things I could track are getting 8 hours of sleep during the day (doctor-ordered nap included), going to bed before midnight, no evening snacking... These are off the top of my head, and I'm sure I can make this list better when I think about it.

Since my feelings are my worst enemy, the list needs to include things that I am emotionally invested in, too. They don't all have to be weight related. Some time ago I posted about living my day in a way that makes me feel happy when I go to bed.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 2/14/2017 (17:17)
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2/11/17 5:19 A

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Saturday February 11, 2017 Day 27 of the 5% Challenge.
Not at all happy with the weight loss this week for the challenge. Less than a pound. I know, I said I will celebrate every fraction of a pound loss...but it's discouraging to drop a pound, then hover up and down around that weight for a week.
I am doing everything right. My eating has been within the calorie range. It needs to be lower carb, more dense vegetables and fruit. My family makes things that are just too heavy, like casseroles and French toast. While I practice portion control, I hate to hurt their feelings by refusing to eat any of it. It's not what I would choose. Fortunately, that's usually only one meal a day. I am responsible for what I eat the rest of the time.
As I've aged and become more sedentary with health issues, my metabolism has slowed. I don't require much food anymore. I don't experience hunger like I used to when younger. I certainly can't eat like I used to, even when eating healthy food. I feel full after a couple of bites. Not much fun going out to eat when I can't enjoy it.
So it's more important that ever that those "couple of bites" be something delicious and nutritious.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 2/11/2017 (05:21)
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2/10/17 8:24 A

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Friday February 10, 2017 Day 26 of the 5% Challenge
Tomorrow is weigh in day for the challenge. I am so thankful my weight is moving down again.I need to keep moving if I expect to make my goal for February. This is a short month.

Another good eating day on the lighter side. Had a salad for supper (Romaine, pineapple, blueberries, and nuts). Very tasty. I planned to make a garden salad but the pineapple was calling me.
.
Fruit is for breakfast or snacking. My aunt used to say that an orange in the morning is gold, and an orange at night is lead. Does that have any scientific backing? I recently read (I think on Spark) that bananas at night create mucus.

Still plowing through Dr Fuhrman's book Eat to Live. He wrote that we should finish the book, then make a commitment, before we start the program. I'm on page 28, still in the first chapter. Takes concentration to focus on the scientific stuff. Not too exciting. To tell the truth, I mostly read it during commercials while watching television in the evening. I'm reading out loud now so my brain hears what my eyes are reading. Or I might pick it up while working on the computer, while waiting for something to load. Is that a lack of commitment? I want to do it. I want to see the basics of the program, what to do, what to eat. This background stuff is not capturing my imagination.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 2/10/2017 (22:07)
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2/9/17 3:24 P

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Thursday 2/9/17 Day 25 of the 5% Challenge
Last two days have been higher in calories. I am reading, learning, and thinking about the new eating plan but not ready to do it yet. I need to stay firm on my present plan until I do. The last couple of days I got lax and went a little over on calories. My body reacts quickly so I am a pound over my last weigh in. Need to be firm about staying at the lower end of the calorie range.

We have a fellow Sparker who is fighting stage four cancer. I've been weeping since I read her blog Continuing the Fight because I realize how much I have given up on myself. Life is hard. Life is painful. I weep for those I have lost. I weep for what I have lost. My health is not good. I am dependent on others.
I need to take a page out of her journal and count my blessings. I need to celebrate the good and search for the positive (like hidden gems waiting to be discovered). I need to do something every day to get healthy enough for surgery so I can regain some independence.
I may blog about this later.

Link to Miss_Willow's blog: www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_
individual.asp?blog_id=6308616


From her blog: "Whatever you believe, wherever you are on your journey, I will say this. If I can get out of bed every day determined to exercise and eat well even knowing my time may be short, then I know you too can find the strength to to make this day a good one too. One could say I have an excuse to toss in the towel but I refuse to. You, who have everything to live for, believe in yourself...fight for yourself simply because you DO have the strength to do it. No excuses...LIVE! I believe you can do it. As of today, I have lost nearly 110 lbs"



Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 2/9/2017 (15:49)
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2/7/17 10:42 P

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Tuesday 2/7/17 Day 24 of the 5% Challenge
I started reading Dr Joel Fuhrman's book, Eat to Live. My sister has been on this plan for quite awhile. She sent me the book last year. Yesterday she encouraged me to finally read the book.
I like that it says I don't have to be hungry or eat low calorie. I just have to eat the right foods, though no food is off limits. For the first six weeks (after I finish the book), I have to make a commitment to stick with it for six weeks, no deviations. After that, my body will want to have the nutrient dense foods that I had during that period.
I found a team on Spark of people following this plan. I followed some of the links to YouTube.com tutorials. Will have to explore more as I have time. It sounds great...fruits and veggies that I like and some grains. Not sure about giving up animal products like eggs and cheese. I won't miss the meat because we are not big meat eaters.

I asked my niece to pick up some veggies for making salads. I like salads, especially when the lettuce is fresh and crunchy. The last few times I've had salads ( both homemade and restaurant made salad), my body has reacted weirdly (diarrhea). Not sure why since I've eaten salads all my life.

Weight is still hovering around the same pounds. Am I deluding myself, thinking this will work? It worked before. I'm really ready to try the Eat to Live plan but the book says to wait until I finish the book to make that commitment.
For now I will persist with my current plan (moderation, mostly healthy choices, lower calories). It's taken me to where I am now which is not a bad place to be. I am down 31 pounds from my highest weight...with miles and miles to go before I sleep:)

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2/6/17 12:30 P

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Monday February 6, 2017 Day 23 of the 5% Challenge
Trying to eat at the low end of the calorie range. Doing the exercises Physical Therapy taught me to do. Getting plenty of sleep.
A little unhappy that I move to a new weight, then hover up and down a fraction of a pound for a few days. The losses have slowed down from what I was doing early on.
I've been shopping for a tiny glass turtle to use as a visual reminder that this is a slow and steady journey.
I am using marbles in a jar to represent each pound lost. There are 31 of them now. Looking at how far I have to go is too discouraging (especially with how slow it's going), so the visual reminder of how far I've come is helpful.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 2/6/2017 (12:30)
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2/5/17 5:58 A

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Sunday February 5, 2017 Day 22 of the 5% Challenge
I did it! I dropped into a new set of numbers on the scale! Finally! This last week of hovering up and down at the same number was hard, but I stayed the course.
To drop any weight, I have to eat at the lower end of my calorie range (1200 - 1400). I think my range might still be too high for my activity level. 1200 is considered a healthy daily calorie goal.

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2/4/17 1:22 A

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Friday 2/3/17 Day 20 of the 5% Challenge. Tomorrow is weigh in. My weight has not moved very much since last Friday's weigh in. I am still doing the same things I did in January to lose 12 pounds. Persistence brings success..if not tomorrow, then next week. I am in this for the rest of my life.

My niece has made potato dishes more often this week. Even though I practice portion control and stay within the calorie range, I'm wondering if that is the culprit. I was feeling lighter and my clothes were looser earlier this week. Now I feel bloated and heavy...and the scale is going up and down around the same weight. More veggies!

One of my favorite menu items at a local restaurant was salmon, baked potato, and broccoli. I learned I could eat the broccoli with the baked potato (plus a little salt and pepper) and did not need the butter and sour cream. There are ways to eat potato without the fat. Maybe just not so often as we've had it this week.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 2/4/2017 (01:23)
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2/2/17 1:59 P

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Thursday 2/2/17 Day 19 of the 5% Challenge. Still haven't slipped down into the nex set of numbers on the scale. It is teaching me patience. Wonder if I can do something differently to help it along.
I am moving better. Really enjoying better mobility. Able to get up from lower seats a little better than I was. That is the biggest thing that is renewing my persistence with this plan every day. Mobility is more important that looking good and wearing smaller sizes. Losing independence is scary.

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2/2/17 12:51 A

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Wednesday 2/1/17 Day 18 of the 5% Challenge
Still haven't dropped into the next set of numbers on the scale but I'm closer than I was yesterday. Still a fraction of a pound away!
Finally starting to feel the effects of the weight loss. Today clothes felt looser. I felt lighter. I've been waiting for that feeling.

I had fasting blood work this morning so missed breakfast but ate a good lunch and supper. Still came in at the bottom of the calorie range.

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1/31/17 1:31 P

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Tuesday 1/31/17 Day 17 of the 5% Challenge
I set a goal to lose 10 pounds every month. I met that for January.
I set a second goal to lose 3 more pounds this month so I could move into the next set of numbers down on the scale. It didn't happen. Close, but no cigar. So I'm feeling a little down on myself...which is stupid. Read the quote from Jillian Michaels two entries down from here. Getting down on myself robs me of power. It helps no one. I've been reminding myself this morning that the scale will move. It will happen. It always does. I always go through this right before I drop into the next decade on the scale.
So how am I going to turn this around? I don't want to keep getting down on myself just before I drop down to the next goal. It's all in my head, so the answer has to start there.

Reason to celebrate: I am down 10 pounds this month. I met goal. I am down 30 pounds from my highest weight. That means I am carrying around 30 less pounds. My body says thank you. My mind needs to get on board.

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1/30/17 3:57 P

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Monday 1/30/17 Day 16 of the 5% Challenge.
Still moving steadily along. Down a little bit more today but weigh in in not till Saturday. The plan is to hang on to the loss and add more to it, YAY!

I've been surfing blogs on Spark. The members here are so inspiring. I love to encourage others. I feel downright giddy from all this high. When you need a punch or a pat on the back or just want to feel great, come to Spark. This has become one of my happy places. Thank you to the great minds that created Spark and continue to make it work for all of us.

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1/30/17 1:58 A

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Tonight the inner voice has been saying 10 pounds a month is too slow. This will take forever. I will not listen to it. I am on track. I have a lot of weight to lose, so at this point 10 pounds is a very reasonable goal.
The real problem is that I usually "feel" smaller quite soon when I lose even a few pounds. My clothes should feel loser but they don't. I should feel more limber and lighter on my feet but I don't. I'm down almost 30 pounds. I feel bloated and uncomfortable. Mobility has not become easier yet...but it will. If I stay the course, it will all happen.
Carbs are probably the culprit. I always feel better when I do lower carb.

Edited entry to add this: Quote from an article by Margarita Bertsos on Wed Oct 8, 2008
When I told Jillian Michaels how much weight I've lost, she congratulated me. And then (as I always do), I added, "But I still have a long way to go." "Stop," she said. "What does that do," she said, "apart from negate everything you've already accomplished? You're being self-deprecating and disempowering, and that doesn't serve anyone-and especially not you. Be proud of what you've done for yourself."

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 1/30/2017 (23:57)
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1/29/17 2:51 P

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Sunday 1/29/17 Day 15 of the 5% Challenge. First day of week 3, woohoo. This week we report exercise minutes, and get team points for nutrition tracking and avoiding crazy evening munching.

I am so pumped with my weigh-ins. Doing good. Down 7 pounds for the challenge. I am on track with my personal goal to lose 10 pounds this month.

This morning I ordered smaller clothes for this summer. So important for traveling. For the naysayers, I still have my current clothes I could wear if the unexpected happens and I don't lose the weight. My clothing needs are simple now that I'm retired.

One of the Hallmark channels had a new movie (Love Lock) on last night, from 9 PM - 11PM. We were too tired to stay up that late, so we're glad it's going to be on at 3PM today. So I'm off to collect ice water and few things to work on during commercials, then settle in my new comfy lift chair with a throw to keep me cozy.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 1/29/2017 (14:53)
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1/28/17 9:37 P

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Saturday 1/28/17 Day 14 of the 5% Challenge. Completed 2 weeks of the challenge. Down 7 pounds for the challenge, down 11 pounds for the year.

Two more pounds and I will be under my January 1, 2016 Spark weight.
I have spent too many years losing and re-gaining, so I am celebrating each time I reach a lower weight that I recorded over the last 12 years since I started this journey.
Two extra special, BIG Celebrations when I get back to my Spark 2006 starting weight, and when I reach the 2004 weight when I joined the previous weight loss group before I found Spark.
Slow and steady losses. No more re-gaining.

2017 is going to be ridiculously amazing.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 1/28/2017 (21:48)
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1/26/17 1:36 A

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Wednesday 1/23/17 Day 12 of the 5% Challenge.
Someone brought filled donuts this morning. So I had two eggs and a donut for one meal, but I still came in slightly under my calorie range for the day so all is good (I hope).
When I feel hungry, it's time for the next meal so I haven't needed snacks.

I enjoy surfing blogs on Spark. I find encouragement, friendship, and pick up a lot of tips. It's interesting to see where others are on this journey. Love my new Treasure Trove team, looking for hidden gems put out there by other Sparkers. We are community.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 1/28/2017 (21:36)
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1/24/17 1:01 A

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Monday 1/23/17 Day 10 of the 5% Challenge. I was a little higher on calories than I've been. My niece was making cheeseburgers for supper. When she brought my plate to me, it also had warmed up acorn squash and sweet potato with butter. Yikes.
My breakfast (bagel and cream cheese) was heavier than usual and my lunch was light. Overall, not a calorie count I want to repeat. Working too hard to regain any pounds!

Today has been a gloomy weather day, sucking all the optimism and sparkly sunshine from my spirit. It's been a tough week. The family has been writing letters for the judge to read before sentencing the man who killed Suz last Summer and brutally attacked her husband. He accepted a plea bargain so he will only be charged with the murder, not the attempted murder of her husband nor the breaking and entering their home. Today at the pretrial they presented graphic details of the murder to the judge. Re-living this tears open the wound. So many family members are angry. They cling to each other. With age, we have a different perspective. We still hurt and cry. We have lost so many dear loved ones (including family members) in the course of our lifetime. We have learned to draw strength from our faith in God.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 1/28/2017 (21:34)
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1/22/17 11:37 P

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Saturday 1/21/17 Day 8 of the 5% Challenge. Another successful day. I cooked lunch today...peas and tuna au gratin from an old Pillsbury cookbook, and sweet potatoes. For the au gratin, I went light on the cheese and doubled the amount of peas. I've made this recipe before. I tried the sweet potatoes with only salt and pepper, no butter. Not too bad. They were better when I ate some of the peas with each bite of sweet potato. Saved all the calories from adding butter.
My calories are usually around 1200. They were a little lower today but that's ok. I am comfortably full.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 1/28/2017 (21:34)
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1/21/17 11:40 P

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Friday 1/20/17 Day 7 of the 5% Challenge. A successful week makes me happy. This is a plan I can live with.

My weight was down 3 pounds this week, making a total of 9 for this year. How do I feel about that?
I am slightly disappointed that the scale has not moved the last three days...but I know if I keep doing what I am doing, it will move. Sometimes it moves quickly. Sometimes it rests. Slow and steady.
It wasn't that long ago that I thought I'd never break into the next ten pounds down. Look at me now, squarely in the middle of the next ten. Persistence and patience!

How was the first week of the challenge? I stayed within the calorie range. I had one Coke this week. I allow myself snacks (usually fruit) but that was only necessary once during the week. Usually I get hungry when it's time to make the next meal. Eating enough at each meal fills me up. I am surprised how quickly I get full. I can't eat like I used to when I was younger. Not burning off all those calories anymore so I don't need as much fuel. Forget restaurant meals. They give enough food to bring home for one or two meals later.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 1/28/2017 (21:33)
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1/20/17 2:15 A

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Thursday 1/19/17 Day 6 of the 5% Challenge. Still going great and feeling optimistic.

This week I created a weight chart for the last 12 years (when I started this journey). When I calculated where my modest monthly weight loss goal will take me each month, I was in disbelief to be ahead of the game. I finally realized I am starting this month at a lower weight than where I started last year. Yeah, I didn't regain all the weight last year! Progress! Persistence pays off. Am I finally figuring out how to hang on to the successes of the winning streaks? I really CAN do this! As IndyGirl says, "Lose. Maintain. Don't regain." Maintenance is so much a part of the daily journey. It's not just that wonderful Land we reach when we get to our final goal. We have to maintain all these little losses to get to that shining goal. That's where I've been falling down. I've strung together wonderful losses, and then went through periods of regaining.

If I stay the course (Persistence, not perfection) for the next three months and reach the modest monthly goals I've set, I can reach my birthday weight goal. I have not weighed that since February 2011.
It also makes me sad to realize how many times I've been at that weight over the last 12 years and bounced up and down. Why didn't I hang on and keep moving down the scale? It is not fun to re-lose the same pounds again and again.

As I set goal weights, it is encouraging to look back and see when I was that weight before. It makes each target more concrete. I've been there before.
When we have a lot of weight to lose, it can seem overwhelming. Today as I analyzed the numbers, It has been hard to take in how do-able this is. I could have accomplished a healthy weight a long time ago. I feel like I've been wandering in la-la land, duh. It was never more than a dream. I couldn't see the whole picture.

A caution with setting goal weights is that our bodies do not always lose the pounds according to our schedule. Plateaus can be discouraging. That's why we have to hang on to persistence and let go of perfection.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 1/28/2017 (21:33)
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1/19/17 2:33 A

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Wednesday 1/18/17 Day 5 of the 5% Challenge completed. I am doing so well. Looking forward to weigh in Saturday. If I eat 3 meals, it fills me up so I'm not snacking. If I'm full, I say no to snacking because I know it's coming from my head. When I'm not full and want a snack, I have fruit. If it's not too long until the next meal, I wait to eat and drink water to get past the urge to snack. It's working.

My goal is to avoid regular daily sweets for the 8 weeks of the challenge. So far I am doing well. It should be a great habit by the end of the challenge.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 1/28/2017 (21:32)
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1/17/17 11:23 P

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Tuesday 1/17/17 Day 4 of the 5% Challenge. Another good day. Staying on track. Had three meals, and an orange for snack. Drinking water. Feeling munchy tonight but I will wait till breakfast. I am losing weight. Love it!

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 1/28/2017 (21:32)
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1/17/17 2:20 A

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Monday 1/16/17 Day 3 of 5% Challenge. Dealing with the pain. Still eating right! Trying to move more. Getting enough rest. I am doing this!

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 1/28/2017 (21:31)
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1/15/17 11:24 P

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Sunday 1/15/17 Day 2 of 5% Winter Challenge
Still having pain. Eating was good. Feels so good to stay on track! Getting enough sleep, though half of it was in the recliner instead of the bed.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 1/28/2017 (21:31)
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1/14/17 5:35 P

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Saturday 1/14/17 Day One of the new 5% Winter Challenge is not off to a good start. I am in a lot of pain. The only relief is to sit perfectly still in the recliner.

Saturdays are always my most sedentary day because my nephew comes in the morning and stays through lunch. It's only one day out of the week.

I've decided to give up candy for the 8 weeks of this challenge. Normally that would not be a problem, but I was inundated with treats at Christmas. I have a gift bag of boxes and bags of candies and other treats. I have not indulged. I am not craving sweets. If I ever do, moderation is best. For now, I will just avoid sweets because I need to give myself a chance to get a better start.

I need to get a boost at the beginning towards my goals. I set a goal to reach by my birthday in April, which came down to less than 10 pounds a month. It's obvious that I am deluding myself to think that I will reach that goal by April if I don't change what I have done the last couple of months. It is not acceptable to think I will make up today's failures by overachieving tomorrow. This has to be slow and steady baby steps. Trying to make it up later will result in massive disappointment and failure. I have to make DAILY small changes to get where I want to be. Doing the same thing daily creates habit.

No more spinning the wheels going nowhere. Now is the time to make better progress than I have been.

Planning is crucial. My current living situation has made that difficult. I must take control and plan what I will eat, regardless of the eating habits of those around me. I must make sure the food I need for my menus is available on the day I need it. Winging it always gets me into trouble.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 1/28/2017 (21:30)
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12/16/16 9:43 A

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Yesterday I had lab work done, then went for scheduled EMG at a doctor's office. She treated me like a new patient. I filled out new patient information and showed ID and insurance cards. During the EMG she gave me a sheet to read that she said she gives all her patients. It was about healthy eating, everything I've learned over the last few years here. It gave me the little push of incentive to focus and get back to basics. I've been needing that. I have not done well since the Fall 5% Challenge ended. Put back on the weight. I am getting tired of starting each 5% Challenge at the same weight. That's insane to spend 8 weeks losing 5%, then spend the interim between challenges regaining 5%, only to start over again during the next 5% Challenge.

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12/8/16 1:21 A

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Went to doctor today for my annual visit. He renewed my scripts and standing lab order. He wants me to have an arterial doppler and an EMG (for the neuropathy) and may add Lyrica to my meds.

I have severe pain from the shoulder problems but can't have surgery until I lose enough weight that I can get up without using my arms. It has made it unsafe to drive. I need assistance with daily tasks because of the pain.

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12/8/16 1:17 A

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We are in between challenges, and once again I've backslid into a very bad place. Add the holiday food into the mix and it has become really bad.

I have learned so much about healthy living over the years. I should know what to do. When I sink into this sphere, I feel confused about what I should be doing. After all the successes I've had, why am I back here again?

Today I read this comment in a fellow Sparker's blog: "I allowed my weight to handicap me." That is what I am doing. That is what I have done, and I'm running out of health options. Every day is a physical struggle. I'm scared. I cry when alone. I am tired of pain.

The first step out of this abyss is to have a plan.

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11/23/16 8:51 P

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Sick again. I was so sick last Thanksgiving with the cancer and too nauseous to eat anything. This year it may be a virus going around. Bah humbug.

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11/14/16 9:42 P

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Had an appointment with the massage therapist this week, working on my poor shoulders. It helps with the torn rotator cuff. Can't tell a lot of difference on the shoulder that needs a replacement.

I've had prickling neuropathy in some toes for years. For a couple months the bottom of my feet has been burning when they rest on the floor. This week I've had two episodes of burning and prickling across my back...always at bedtime. I thought it was the nightgown. Changed three times. Sis washed my back and rubbed lotion on it. Still burning and prickling. Guess it's going to be like my feet. Have to distract myself by getting absorbed in a project or something else, take my mind off it.

Task for our 5% Challenge group this week is to write a blog, encouraging others to join our next challenge. Why is that so hard? Can't get started. Haven't blogged since Sept.

This is our last week for the 5% Fall Challenge. One more pound to go to make the goal! I can do this.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 11/14/2016 (21:42)
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11/8/16 10:56 P

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I am trying very hard not to watch the election results tonight because I don't want to be upset. This has been the worst presidential election ever. It's been a hard choice. I am listening to soothing music and reading Spark articles. Will visit some Spark buddies and see what they are doing.

Decluttering is a component of our 5% Challenge goal for this week. We spent hours today decluttering/rearranging a bedroom, moving two heavy old dressers. Dust collects under furniture that rarely gets moved. I have been sneezing and sneezing tonight!

My weight is still moving slowly downward. I should be able to make goal this challenge. I am disappointed that I am still above my 2016 starting weight, but that should be gone this month. It's been a rough, stressful year.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 12/8/2016 (01:24)
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11/7/16 3:40 A

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Scale is cooperating. I am going to make my 5% Challenge goal! Slow and steady...progress, not perfection.

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11/3/16 10:28 P

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After an extremely slow start for this challenge, I finally have my ducks in a row. It gets exciting when I see progress! Looking forward to weigh in tomorrow.

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10/18/16 10:55 A

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Not a happy camper. Family genetics have not been kind to me. Arthritis (surgeries and broken bones), Hashimoto's thyroiditis, hypertension, and cancer. I've also managed to have a few illnesses and surgeries that don't run in the family, too.

My family usually have knee replacements. I've had 5 hip surgeries, including 2 replacements. Then broke my hip 2 years ago. One knee is crackly and grinding.
Diagnosed with torn rotator cuff earlier this year. Now need a shoulder replacement on the other shoulder. Yesterday the orthopedic surgeon told me it's bone on bone. I am in pain and have shed so many tears,

I am afraid for the future. I am losing my independence. My older sister who lives with me has been good about helping me and driving me to appointments.

Yesterday I ordered a lift chair because I am having trouble standing after being in the recliner, even though it has a platform under it to make the chair higher. I have to be so careful where I sit. I started using a rollator awhile ago for equilibrium, pain, and to have a higher seat when out and about. See a picture of my rollator on the entry from June 17, 2016.

I've had some successful weight loss this year, and some horrible regains. My weight is hardly budging during this current challenge. I think it would immensely improve the mobility issues if I could lose weight. I can tell a difference every ten pounds I gain or lose.
My healthiest (and most budget friendly) times have been when I follow a menu.

The biggest change in my diet/eating habits happened when my sister moved here in 2011 to help me care for Dad during his last year. Sis resists any planning, preferring to wing it (because she doesn't want to be locked into a menu when she may feel like eating something else that day). When asked what I want for lunch, etc, there are never the right groceries here to make it. I love veggies and fruit and fresh crunchy salads and meat cooked to my taste. Not a control freak but feeling frustrated when the choice is between less than healthy food or not eating. I'm not saying all of my choices were healthy because they weren't. When I was good, I was very good. When I was bad, oh my!
I can no longer go to the grocery store. I don't have the strength to do much cooking. I am reliant on my sister and my niece. They are not healthy eaters.

I truly think Sis is threatened when I lose weight and she doesn't. She got very negative and down on herself when I weighed less than she did during my bout with cancer last winter. When we finally got the nausea under control, I stupidly made up for lost time, eating to make up for all the eating I couldn't do when sick. Why did I do that? What was I thinking?

I want to lose weight but I hate being hungry and powering through it. I shouldn't have to do that. One can have enough healthy eats in a day so that they don't get hungry.

Last night I was hungry. We had Taco Bell for lunch (me a Mexican pizza, and Sis had a double crunch thingy). By evening I was hungry. She wasn't. The only easy eats are the chip snack cupboard. That is not a satisfying meal but it's easy. Truth is the pantry has slim pickings since I'm not doing the shopping now.
On the way home from the orthopedic surgeon's office when I said I need to lose weight before having any more surgery, Sis said that I need to skip the chips. I'm not a big chip eater but it stops the hunger. I never eat a full serving (15 chips). I need to wait to share my thoughts here, not with her. I don't like someone watching and reminding me. I will not sneak food in my own house.

If I miss a meal, I won't starve. Can I go back to ignoring hunger, and wait to eat the next day at lunch? And since I'm not eating 3 meals a day, why am I hanging on to all these pounds? I know, I know. It's based on the total calories of what I eat. I am trying to eat breakfast now so I'm not so hungry at night. I ate breakfast two times this week!

Oh, to go back to the days when I shopped and cooked and made healthy meals for my family. Wouldn't it be wonderful to have fresh fruit and veggies from my garden again? I haven't been able to do that for awhile.

Enough whining. I must settle on a plan and list the items I need on the grocery list.I alone am responsible for what goes in my mouth. There are options and choices.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 10/18/2016 (11:39)
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9/25/16 10:20 P

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I cut back but still came in over on calories today. All other areas were good, except low on fiber. Sipping ice water now while on the computer. Got enough sleep and minimum goal for exercise. Will work on that.
Tomorrow is a new day.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 9/25/2016 (22:21)
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9/24/16 3:13 A

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Our Fall 5% Challenge starts today. I really need this. I have been moving backwards, undoing all the good I've done this year. It has been a painful year. Do we ever get over losing loved ones? I am also having a great deal of physical, mobility-limiting pain in legs and arms. It is limiting my independence and scaring me about where this will lead in the future. So you can see how very much I need this next challenge to get back on track.

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9/2/16 2:21 A

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One of my friends from the challenge started a thread about spouse sabotage when losing weight.

First, I am my own worst saboteur! I am strong for awhile, then lose focus. When I am strong, nothing can tempt me. When I lose focus, everything can tempt me.

My family are food pushers. We are food-centered. Might be our farming background. We like food. We cook. A gathering is missing something if there is no food. Going out includes eating out. I like cookbooks and new recipes. I like grocery stores. I like to eat!

I love having my niece here. When she comes home from work around 8, she gets something to eat. She always asks if we ate and can she make us something or offers whatever she is having. Sometimes she brings food home. She's had gastric bypass surgery many years ago so she eats frequent small meals/snacks.

Most of the time, I've already had supper. I am not hungry. At first I gave in because it was companionable to eat and talk about her day. However, she is not offended when I say no. No explanation needed either.

My wonderful sister is a different matter. I am so blessed to have her here. She was a Godsend the last couple years when I was caring for Dad.

I learned a different way of eating after she came. I eat less fruit and veggies. Eat more processed foods than I ever ate before.
I do best with a menu plan. She doesn't like menus because how do you know today what you will feel like eating the rest of the week. I just know menus work for me.

I can't discuss my weight loss with Sis. Instead of being happy for me, she seems upset because she "can't" lose weight. She is happiest when I weigh more than her and eat more than her. She makes comments about starving myself to lose weight.

Our roles changed since I had several movement-limiting injuries and cancer. As occasional caregiver for me, she makes the meals and snacks.

She doesn't realize that if I don't lose the weight, I will ultimately lose my independence as movement becomes more difficult. Basic skills are at risk: getting up from chairs, getting in and out of bed, driving, bathing and dressing, and mobility.

To me, this is unacceptable. I must conquer this mountain.

I recently purchased HEALTHY BY DESIGN by Cathy Morenzie (published by Guiding Light Publishing Service). "Weight Loss, God's Way. A Christian Devotional Guide to Lose Weight, Feel Great, and Reflect God's Glory (I Cor 6:19-20) 21 Days God's Way"
I've read the Introduction. Then she said to read Nehemiah from the Bible. That sparks my interest. I remember something I read a long time ago that was helpful, based on Nehemiah. Can't remember now where I got this, but the phrase to use when tempted was, "I am working on the wall and can't come down now." That was so helpful to get past temptation during the time I used it.

I'm about halfway through Nehemiah and getting glimmers of inspiration.

Today I started reading GRATITUDE DIARIES by Janice Kaplan. "How a Year Looking on the Bright Side can Transform Your Life." It is based on listing 3 things each day I am grateful for. The book is well researched and written. It is not a superficial striving to come up with something when I look back at my day. It involves being grateful as I live each day. As I practice living gratefully, it can make changes in how my brain functions. As my life has changed and I live with increasing levels of pain and discouragement, I cry more easily, especially when alone. Pain wears me down and I am scared about the future because of the limited mobility. It has been emotionally wearing to talk to my little sister by phone most days, praying together, trying to encourage her. She has been valiantly fighting cancer for the last 21 months and is now in an experimental drug program since chemo has not worked. My health won't let me travel to her. I wondered if crying was making permanent changes in my brain and negatively impacting my health.

As I was in bed this afternoon for my doctor-ordered nap, I was thinking about the Gratitude Diaries. I started expressing gratitude for little things. She had mentioned being grateful for her comfortable bed. While being in bed causes me discomfort and moments of intense pain as I try to find the least painful way to sleep, I am grateful for the moments when I sink into the wonderful softness that I've compared to floating on a lily pad. I am grateful for my wonderful sister who cares about me. I am grateful to still have my little sister. I am grateful for my home. Surrounded by rosy thoughts of gratitude, the list grew. Finally, I added that I am grateful my Savior will help me rebuild the wall. The light bulb came on. Back to Nehemiah and HEALTHY BY DESIGN. I felt infused with energy as I got out of bed. I have a wall to rebuild.

I think doing the Gratitude Diary will fit very nicely with HEALTHY BY DESIGN.

However, I know that all the books and programs in the world will not bring effective change if I don't act on what I learn and know. Even now, I must get back to basics on eating. I can't wait until some time down the road when I get further into the study. Every pound I lose helps more freedom in movement. I don't have months to wait to do something about this. I must be more careful to log what I eat and stay at the low end of the calorie limit. I must do this now.

As for big sis who cares for me, there are ways. I can eat less, eat more slowly, and for heaven's sake, DON'T TALK about it! Just do it without making a big deal of it and she may not even notice the changes.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 9/2/2016 (15:11)
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8/26/16 2:16 P

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I came close to my Summer Challenge 5% goal but didn't make it. Missed by less than a pound. I signed up for the Fall Challenge.

Each ten pounds I lose or gain makes a difference in mobility. At this point, I do not think I have options about losing weight. I have to stick with this if I want to stay independent.

However, the recent shoulder injuries have made me dependent on family for bathing and dressing and transportation. Certain movement brings horrific pain. I will start with the massage therapist soon to help ease the shoulder pain.

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8/3/16 11:26 P

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Since the last entry, I've made no progress in advancing toward the goal. So close, so far away. It's my own fault.
I am in so much pain and my family is trying to help. That means making meals that do not fall in my low carb zone. Fresh corn and tomatoes and peppers are good. Pasta is my favorite but slows me down so I've been avoiding it till now.
Today I realized pancakes are no longer among my favorite foods. No more pancakes! I can't eat all these starches and lose like I want to lose.

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7/27/16 3:20 P

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Soooo close to my January 1, 2016 weight.Less than a pound to go.

Sounds better when I say I've lost 29 pounds since the middle of June 2016.

Less than a pound to go to my 5% challenge weight goal for this Summer session.


I have been in a lot of pain. Tore the left rotator cuff some time ago. Finished therapy for that early in May. Doc said I am compensating and would probably injure the right rotator cuff. Now, I have. Very painful! So now I have two arms that don't work well. Sis has to help me bathe and dress.I never thought this would happen. I was always grateful that at least my arms worked (I've had leg problems for years.) Been living in jammies the last couple of weeks. I had to have help to pull the blanket over me in bed. Helpless! I do not like this phase.

Can't drive because it takes me too long to move my hands on the steering wheel. Until the sharp pain dulls,I will let Sis drive.
Today Sis took me to the podiatrist appointment.

I have to stay dressed, waiting for a contractor (who may come today or tomorrow) to evaluate and give me a estimate to fix the leaky stone retaining wall that runs from the garage along the drive. When it rains, the soil leaks through the horizontal crack in the wall where the mortar has loosened.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 7/27/2016 (15:23)
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7/8/16 11:33 A

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I really updated my Spark page. It's a lot more personal. Shared more stuff than I usually do. While my recent commitment to the journey to healthy started on June 17, 2016, I posted weight loss and gain for each month of 2016.

In the last half of 2015 I was so sick with cancer and surgery, unable to keep anything down, and lost 43 pounds by the end of 2015. Once the nausea and vomiting was under control with medications, I made up for lost time, eating all the foods I missed. Some of them did not taste good anymore. Still managed to gain weight the first 6 months of 2016. I have been steadily losing weight since June 17, 2016...down 19 pounds. However by posting weight loss./gain since the beginning of January, I still show a gain of 9 pounds for 2016. That's temporary.I am on a roll.

It is not possible to restart the ticker at the higher weight on Jan 1, so it reflects only my progress since June 17. That works better for me because I list the 5% Challenge goal weight as the ending weight on the ticker. I know when I reach that I will have made my Challenge goal. I will keep resetting it lower for each challenge.

See how positive I'm being. I plan to start each Challenge at a lower weight. No regain this time!!!

I set a new goal today to reach my Spark starting weight by the end of this year. That's 63 pounds. It's a stretch but do-able. There's a saying about aiming for nothing and hitting it. Aim for the stars and the possibilities are delicious.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 7/8/2016 (11:35)
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7/7/16 3:02 A

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Bear wants to go to Steak N Shake for lunch tomorrow. I already checked the nutrition info and decided on the grilled chicken salad. 270 calories for the salad, and 70 calories for lite ranch dressing (or 130 for my favorite, honey mustard dressing).

Steak N Shake makes my favorite burgers, all crispy around the edges. My favorite sandwiches are more calories than I want to spend now. Western BBQ & bacon steakburger is 720 calories. Frisco Melt is 750 calories.

I've been really focused since the middle of June. It took me one week to lose the first 10 pounds. It has taken me two more weeks to lose the next 9 pounds. I am doing everything right so why is it taking so long to lose that second 10 pounds?

People with a lot to lose usually lose faster. I've been anxious about it, wondering why the pounds aren't dropping. Our bodies don't lose according to our pre-determined schedule. It will happen if I stay with the new habits I'm creating.

I am putting pressure on myself for health reasons, mostly related to mobility.
I also want to be at a healthier weight before the regular appointment with the oncologist on July 20. It is the day after I come back from vacation.
Since my appointment with the oncologist in early December 2015, I gained 56 pounds once we finally got the nausea and vomiting under control with medications and I could eat again! . I've lost 19 of those pounds. I have 37 pounds to lose to get back to the December weight.

No matter how I feel, I am a success. I am a success. I am a success. I am a success. I am celebrating 19 pounds gone!

Another thing I'm working on is lowering salt intake. Even though I am under the SP sodium limit, my feet have been swollen so that it's hard to get my shoes on. I am still elevating my feet every day.

I am avoiding processed foods and white stuff. I am eating more natural fruits and vegetables. Relying mostly on milk or yogurt for protein and some of the calcium I need. I am making good choices.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 7/7/2016 (03:31)
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7/3/16 12:00 A

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It feels like I took a step backwards today. I feel sluggish tonight. I was encouraged that my walking had improved this morning, but it is worse tonight. Knee hurts off and on today. Struggling to go from sitting to standing, just like before I changed my eating in the middle of June 2016. This is serious stuff.

Is gluten the culprit?

Breakfast was Carnation Essentials in a glass of milk because I didn't have much time before company arrived.

Company requested Grandma's waffles for lunch. The waffle makes 4 squares at a time. I had 5 squares. That is less than I used to eat. I cut it in small bites and ate slow. I drank decaf coffee with it.

For supper I had a McDonald's single hamburger that a friend brought. I also had BBQ chips with it, and drank ice water.

Where are the fruits and vegetables? Not a single vegetable today! Potatoes turned into chips, and pickles on the hamburger?

The tracker says I met the Spark carb goal. It is not MY lower carb goal.

The nutrition tracker says I am within calorie range.

The weight is coming off a little slower now. I will be sad but not surprised if the scale blips up tomorrow. It is only one day. Live and learn. Move on.

Next step will be a mostly veggie Sunday. Avoid the white stuff.
I want my happy back.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 7/3/2016 (00:05)
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6/30/16 8:05 A

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Breakthrough moment.

To be successful, I should never see the same number on the scale. I said I don't want to re-lose the same pounds. I feel like a failure when I yo-yo.

While my weight has been pretty consistent in going down this month, I've had two small blips recently where it went up a pound or so, even though I have been doing everything right. It's not hormonal stuff.

If I was screwing up,I would accept this as a fail and feel bad about it. This time I am rejecting that because I am making healthy choices.

The loss will become permanent as I keep making healthy choices.

I am a success.

Annie
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6/28/16 9:04 A

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Up 1.2 pounds this morning from yesterday.

1. Our body weight can fluctuate from day to day. It's the long term weight that reflects our efforts on this journey.

2. While still within my calorie range, I have eaten at a higher level of calories the last few days from what I usually eat.

3. I consciously and willingly abandoned my healthier choices for supper last night and ate what the family ate. I was still within the calorie range. My body is not used to that ratio of fats, carbs and protein.
I made an excellent choice earlier in the day when we had breakfast at Bob Evans. I wanted low calorie and healthy. I had oatmeal with dried cranberries, brown sugar, and pecans. I drank water and black decaf coffee.

4. This Challenge I am working at removing the negative response. It is what it is. I will be a little more stringent today. Watch the salt intake today.

5. The most successful Sparkers are those who get right back on plan and keep moving. I am a successful Sparker.

6. I met my goal of not eating after supper.

7. I met my goal of going to bed earlier.

8. This is the first time in the last couple of weeks that I've had any weight increase.


Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 6/28/2016 (09:08)
Annie
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6/26/16 11:50 P

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Tonight I am just a little hungry. I had supper. I am not eating after supper...but if this is truly hunger, I should find something to eat, right? No one wants to go to bed hungry. It will make me lightheaded.
Be strong. Tomorrow I will be glad I didn't eat tonight.
I ate within my calorie range today. I won't die if my tummy growls. . I can eat tomorrow morning.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 6/27/2016 (11:58)
Annie
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6/26/16 1:51 P

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Down almost 15 pounds this month! I am excited. It's not easy but I'm doing it, one pound at a time. I am watching the calories. Still going out to eat one or two times a week. It is possible to eat out and stay within my range.
First week of 5% challenge. This week we are reporting exercise minutes and water intake.
This is going to be my best challenge ever. Tiger Monarchs are a great team.

Annie
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FINANCIAL_MOM Posts: 127
6/20/16 7:47 P

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I keep seeing people talk about the 5% summer challenge but I can't seem to find it. It sounds awesome! You are killing it!

ANNIESADVENTURE's Photo ANNIESADVENTURE Posts: 5,772
6/20/16 3:09 P

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Down 6.2 pounds in June 2016. Yay!

Prepping for the 5% Summer Challenge - Step 1: Exercise

Aim for 30 minutes of exercise each day. I can do that.

Have your exercise clothes and water bottle ready. I used to go to the gym daily. They closed. I had changes in health, reducing mobility. I wear relaxed, casual clothes most of the time now, and don't change when exercising. If I get sweaty, shower afterwards and change clothes.

What is exercise plan?
I exercise in segments because I can't do longer periods at one time. I walk a little.I do physical therapy exercises. I move more often.
I tried one of Coach Nicole's sitting exercise videos today. The shortest one I could find was 9 minutes. I was a little slower than her. Just when I thought I was making progress and getting tired, she announces we should we warmed up now and ready to start. I laughed so hard.

Post commitment on Spark page.
Yes, I did that before I read this assignment. Mine is brief and to the point, dealing more with my commitment to do the challenge. I think they wanted more details but I will do those here in this journal as I do each prep step.

Check blogs of others doing the count down activity.
I will be doing that.

For me, healthy eating is a bigger part than the exericse, espcially with my limited mobility, and especially with the knee injury last Wednesday. I have compared this to a three legged stool: one leg is eating, one leg is exercise, and the third leg is sleep. Of course there are emotional and spiritual components, too.
I will do my best to mindfully add exercise through out the day.

At the beginning of this instruction, Leader Ceri wrote this, "Look for ways to improve your health and feel better about yourself..." I want to make this an overall goal in the days leading up to the challenge and throughout the 8 weeks of the challenge. This will be as individual as we each are.
I am already eating less to shed pounds to improve my health and feel better about myself. Over 6 pounds gone this month.
I am taking the medically-required naps every day. That improves my health.
I will work on increasing exercise. I will be more consistent with staying in bed at night.
I will look for other ways to improve my health and make me feel better about myself.

I feel better about myself when I stick with my goals. It is a good feeling at night to look back with satisfaction. It is a downer to feel that I have let myself down. Have plan and stick with it as much as possible.

I feel good about myself when I don't regain the pounds and inches. I don't want to keep repeating the same numbers. Small losses are to be celebrated as much as big losses. As IndyGirl Beth says, "Lose, maintain, don't regain."

I feel good about myself and invigorated on days when I am more active.



Annie
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6/18/16 4:48 P

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Down 3.4 pounds this week. Am I excited? You bet!
Each pound gone helps my mobility. I am rethinking my walking, going back to what I learned in therapy, walking heel-toe. Less pain in the knee when I do that. I also need to remember to bend the knee, not stiff-leg each step.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 6/18/2016 (16:51)
Annie
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6/17/16 3:38 P

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This is not good news. Wednesday when I was getting in the car, I hurt my knee. The pain is in the back of knee, radiating up and down along the muscle towards the outer side of the leg. The pain is not as intense as it was the first day. It's worse when I lay down so I've had to learn to sleep in the same position without moving. It is difficult to rise from a sitting position.
I've stayed home since then, canceling a lunch date with a friend, because of the pain in my knee. I don't want to get out somewhere and have trouble getting home.
I keep reminding myself that it is only pain. It's not the end of the world. I have lived with pain in varying degrees for years. Right now it's a little intense. The knee still functions. I move very slowly but I'm trying to think through my movements and not give up. Pain makes us babies!

It was Wednesday when I was running errands that I discovered my Lumex rollator (bench-seat walker) was unsafe to sit on. One of the supports was sheered through. They don't last forever. I was unable to get the identical Lumex rollator so we'll see how this new Drive Go-Lite rollator works.
This is a picture of a Drive Go-Lite. Mine is black.


I've been trying to limit my food intake since I got home from vacation Tuesday. That's been very successful. I haven't weighed since the last challenge ended, so I was surprised today at how much weight I gained recently. I am almost back to my highest weight ever.
This will not help my knee heal. I'm not sure if the pain is a good motivator because I am skipping my planned meals. I hurt too much to get up and make them. It is 3:30 PM and I've had one skinny English muffin with butter today, plus the ever present water to sip on all day.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 6/18/2016 (16:49)
Annie
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6/14/16 2:19 P

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One month ago our world changed. We were up north, enjoying a few days away. Pastor and his wife came to us to tell us Suz had been murdered and her husband was in serious condition. Someone they knew broke into their home and stabbed them multiple times. The police apprehended him while he was still at the house.
We found strength for the following week. There was so much to do.
We've lost a daughter, a mom, a wife, a sister, a niece, a friend. Reality is closing in. Together we are strong. Sometimes we cry. Sometimes we find strength in knowing she is in heaven with all of our other loved ones. Sometimes I think we are in denial, thinking this didn't really happen, and that she'll come through the door any time now.
And now the series of court appearance, where her husband must relive the nightmare.

* * * * *
We just returned from another few days away, visiting family. I've had time to think about many things.

My Spark related thoughts are that it is time to stop eating willy nilly from the emotional freefall and pull myself together. Being unorganized does not make me feel good and robs me of strength that I need.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 6/14/2016 (14:20)
Annie
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4/26/16 1:06 A

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Stress kills motivation. There are so many things outside of our control. The world is changing. Things that were wrong are now right. Things that were right are now wrong. Everything is upside down. Fear shuts down our motivation to take charge of the things we can control.

Annie
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4/21/16 9:57 P

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Better day today. Stayed within calorie range. I'm avoiding snacking, especially mindless snacking while watching television or on the computer...and especially late at night.
I'm getting more sleep, trying to stay in bed longer at night. Faithfully taking naps (for medical reasons).

I've been faithful in logging my exercise, etc, on the 5% challenge. Our Monarch Butterflies are doing well. I've friended everyone on our breakout group so I can keep in touch, encourage and be encouraged.

I drove older Sis to the doctor this afternoon. It's not pneumonia. Doc prescribed an antibiotic, meds for cough and Claritin. Iodine in water for gargling. Hibiscus tea. A couple of things to order from Puritan's Pride. (They have great service and prices for vitamins and supplements, etc.)

We had supper at Bob Evans. That's where most of my calories from today came since lunch was a big old homemade low-calorie chef salad. No breakfast. I am really dead serious about losing this weight and controlling some of the painful health issues I'm struggling with now.
I promise myself I will weigh less by vacation in May. I will weigh less before the next oncologist appointment in July. I will be more limber and walking better. It should reduce the pain and make everything easier. I cannot follow my usual pattern of regaining once things gets better.I weigh 45 pounds more than I did at the beginning of December 2015. Pounds and inches, begone! It sure goes on easier than it comes off.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 4/21/2016 (21:59)
Annie
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