Dear Jen -- You have gotten some great responses here. Recently I've been reading a fascinating book -- Just 10 Pounds by Brad Lamm. The book is all about LOVING YOURSELF and living in your body in a loving way -- your eating, your exercise, your relationships, your spiritual refreshment, your rest and renewal.
The book also has a great supportive workbook that you can download on the author's website (FREE). So do consider reading this over the summer and see how different you feel by the end of summer having been as generous to yourself as I am sure you are to everyone else in your life!
Wishing you a big dose of success and feeling great about yourself!
Simple kindness to one's self and all that lives is the most powerful transformational force of all. -David R. Hawkins
You got a lot of good advice already. I too think you are eating (way) too little.
Just want to say: You do not 'get' to accept yourself for who you are. You just do. Or you don't. You ARE enough. You always are enough. You don't have to do or accomplish something in order to be enough.
Please try to find a few books about the deeper sense of life and read those and let them inspire you for how you want to look at life, at yourself, and at your goals. Authors I can suggest are Gerald Jampolsky and Thich Nath Hahn, or for a more Christian-based viewpoint, Norman Vincent Peale. I think reading that kind of books would help you to focus on what truly matters. So you won't waste your precious time.
I took the liberty of running your BMR based upon the information you provided. If you do not get out of bed, your body requires about 1450 calories a day to maintain your weight. Add in your level of activity, and you would need about 2500 calories a day. If you wanted to lose weight, you could very comfortably increase your calories consumed per day to 1700 if you're running every day and still expect to see weight loss.
I know it sounds counter-intuitive to eat more, and I know you've heard that advice before. Heck, quite a few of the previous posters suggested it in this thread alone, on top of when you've heard it in the past. Still, it's the right thing to do. You may gain a little initially, because your body doesn't know any better but to reserve all its given since it's been denied for so long, but that will change. That said, you should do that under the direction and care of your doctor and a dietician. As Archimedes pointed out, you are very likely missing some key nutrients your body requires. Please be honest with your doctor and let them know you are restricting your caloric intake so extremely while still doing such demanding exercise. If your doctor does not care, find another doctor because that is and should be a red flag for malnutrition.
All that said, do not feel guilty and do not feel bad about yourself. You are a size 8/10 and that's fantastic! Heck, that's my GOAL. If it helps you find a bit of peace, realize that you are already many people's Jennifer Anniston. If you want to get under 160, though, your doctor (or some doctor, if your current one is not concerned by such restrictive intake) will need to play a critical role in that.
Starting: 41.1 BMI and extremely sedentary Current: 28.0 BMI with strength-training and low-impact cardio Mini-goal: 29.9 BMI (about 164 lb) - DONE on 8/6/14! I'm no longer obese! Mini-goal: 5K walk or run Mini-goal: 24.9 BMI (about 136 lb) Mini-goal: half-marathon walk or run GOAL: 23 BMI (about 125 pounds), fit and active
current weight: 163.4
Fitness Minutes: (210,550)
6/11/14 10:22 A
I'm five years older than you and about 10 pounds lighter give or take a pound or two. If I engaged in that kind of exercise routine combined with 1000 calories per day, I would be starving. And that's exactly what you are doing, you are starving your body of the calories it needs to be healthy.
Let's do some math.
Let's say you burn roughly 500 calories when you run for 5 miles. For the day, you eat 1000 calories. Now, you deduct the 500 calories you burned from the 1000 you ate and you end up with a NET of 500 calories. that is NOT enough calories to sustain an active adult woman.
What you've been doing all these years with the excessive cardio and very restrictive diet is to cause your body to CONSERVE fat instead of release fat. No one should be on a permanent diet and yet, that's basically what you've done these past several years.
Now, I'm not here to criticize. Believe me, every single member of SP (including myself) knows how you feel. We've all been there. But, at some point, many of us learned that maybe what we were doing for all those years wasn't really working.
One thing I am going to encourage you to do is talk to a dietitian. When is the last time you had a full physical with blood work ? If it has been a very long time, now is the time to go. if you have been eating a deficit for so long, your body is probably vitamin deficient. You need to find out what vital nutrients and minerals your body needs to help you regain your health.
Because if you keep this up, you really will damage your long term health. Here's another reason to go to a doctor, you're approaching menopause. I know, I'm already there. LOL.
When a woman enters menopause she increases her risk for osteoporosis. Because of your lack of calories as well as the all the running, you too have increased your risk for osteoporosis. Talk to your doctor about having a bone density test. Women athletes are prone to osteoporosis. That's why you should talk to a doctor about getting that test done along with all the blood work.
Also, speaking as someone who just turned 50, you don't want to compare yourself to someone like Jennifer Aniston or Terri Hatcher or any of the other fabulous Hollywood 40 something women. this is just not typical. Keep in mind that the job of these women is to look good. That means they have access to trainers, dietitians, nutritionists, nannies, etc....
They have people who will do work for them while they go to trainers, beauticians, fashion designers, etc. That's why you can't compare yourself to someone like her. In fact, you shouldn't be comparing yourself to anyone else. you are UNIQUE and wonderful. So, you have some cellulite ? SO WHAT ? so do I !
Yes, I said it. I have cellulite and I'm okay with it ? Why ? Here's something I've learned from my own weight loss journey. I've learned what I can do with my body is more important than how it looks. I will never look like Jennifer Ansiton. I will never be perfect and I am okay with that.
Because this 50 year old hag can do 100 good military style push ups. I've completed a Spartan Sprint, I've run a half marathon, I've run 5ks and 10ks. I've walked 20 miles in under 5 hours. I've done a lot of things with this body inspite of the cellulite.
There is nothing wrong with having cellulite. Most women have it. Raquel Welch had cellulite. And no one cared ! look at her images on google. She has cellulite. She didn't care either and neither did the men who drooled over her.
The point ? Stop beating yourself because you don't look like a Hollywood starlet. Instead, celebrate all YOUR accomplishments. That's what really counts. Honestly, when you've passed away, do you think anyone will remember if you had cellulite or not ?
No one is perfect. You don't have to be perfect to be healthy.
Once again, I really am going to encourage you to get a full physical with blood work as well as asking your doctor about a bone density test. Women who exercise excessively combined with a low calorie intake do increase their risk for brittle bones. Over exercising and under eating will cause that.
Take care of yourself inside and out.
Fitness Minutes: (20,155)
1,298 6/10/14 10:08 P
If you are running that much, and only eating 1000 cal a day....your body metabolism is probably not as healthy as it should be!! I second the notion that you should have a good visit with your Doctor, explain where you are at, and ask for their help!! At 5'5" and 165 lbs, you really aren't that much overweight though...especially if you have a lot of muscle.
And by the way....45-ish is NOT even on the Middle-Aged spectrum, let alone "older"!! LOL (This coming from someone eligible for Soc Security!) Granted, its well past the 20-Somethings of early adulthood, but you are not keeping this weight because of age alone.
I hope your Journey turns around soon, and you find far more than just acceptance of where you are at now; find where you wish to be. Accepting that you CAN change is a positive first step...getting some professional advice is a positive second step! Go For It! patti
Edited by: LADYSTARWIND at: 6/10/2014 (22:12)
"The only thing we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us." Gandalf: Lord of the Rings
Pounds lost: 1.6
Fitness Minutes: (32,843)
21,663 6/10/14 8:48 P
I think that you would get appropriate help if you spoke with your Dr about what was/is going on, and ask for a referral to a Therapist who specializes in treating people with disordered eating. Often people who suffer from this have self-image issues - whether it be the size/shape or lack of self esteem in general. At the same time, Your Dr should do bloods to see if there is anything going on, including as a result of your low calorie eating. Also ask for a referral to a Registered Dietitian who can ensure that you are meeting your Nutrition Requirements.
And I just thought of something....you bring up Jennifer Anniston.
What you are comparing yourself to is impossible - and I will tell you why:
95% of hollywood women over the age of 40 (and I'm being extremely generous here, I think the age is more like 30-35) have had botox, fillers, plastic surgery, tummy tucks, boob augmentation (butt implants!!!) general body liposuction, face lifts, lifting and firming, - etc.
What you are comparing yourself to is not reality.
The days of a gorgeous, aging beauty like Sophia Loren are waaay in the past.
And if you yourself the disservice of comparing yourself to how they look on a magazine cover...after every flaw and ounce of visible fat has been airbrushed way.....
I may be dating myself, but back in the day....we saw actresses and actors with all of their flaws. We saw the legendary Liz Taylor gain weight in the 1970's then lose it again, we saw her face puffy with alcohol...we saw her getting wrinkles, we saw her spreading a bit in middle age, we saw her neck get loose, we saw sunspots appear on her chest and hands....what we saw back then...was reality. A star aging along with every one else.
Sadly, you do not see it anymore in Hollywood.
The best exercise in the world is to bend down and help someone up.
I have been with spark people for a number of years and have not lost more than 10lbs. I have also tried weight watchers and low carb. In the past, I have posted numerous times needing help to figure out what I am doing wrong and asking why won't the weight come off? I have heard in response.... you aren't eating enough, try low carb, switch up your exercise, get your blood work done, etc, etc, etc....I have done all these and still no real weight loss.
I am a chronic dieter and cardio junkie. I am now 45 years old and have been dieting off and on since I started taking diuretics at the age of 12. At the age of 35, I decided to quit smoking and was successful!!!!!! At that time I was very concerned with weight gain so I started to hard core exercise and diet. So for the past 10 years, I have tried everything and the only thing I have managed to do is put on about 15-17 lbs which I have now lost 10 of. So in the last ten years with an increase in exercise and more methodical/meticulous dieting I have netted a gain of 5-7 lbs.
I am currently about 162 lbs, 5'5", 45 years old. I eat very low calorie (1000-1100 calories per day), one to two meals off on the weekend, and run on average 4-5 miles per day. I eat a lot of fresh fruits and vegetables with lean protein like chicken or fish. I snack on almonds, hummus, or string cheese.
Here is my question....when do I get to accept myself for who I am and the life that I live? I am 45 years old and can run up to 13 miles at a time. I run at least 4 miles 5 times per week. I am able to do 100 squats without stopping and I lift weights as well. I am feeding my body with healthy food and stay away from processed carbs. All that is wonderful and I am so very proud of that, but when do I accept myself at 162 lbs????? When do I accept that I have made amazing strides and live a very healthy lifestyle, but may never weigh less than 160 lbs????? When is being a size 8-10 going to be acceptable??? When do I accept the cellulite on my legs as a factor of getting older and female??? When is not being a Jennifer Aniston going to be okay???? Just when I accept myself and stop obsessing, I hear about someone dieting or someone who has lost weight and then I think, I need to be doing this. If they can do it, so can I....So I try it all again without success...
I just want to learn to accept myself. For someone to say that I am doing a good job. To know that what I have done is enough....that I am enough. I am afraid I am reaching for something that is completely unattainable for me and am wasting precious time trying to achieve an ideal set by our society....am I enough????
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