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EELPIE's Photo EELPIE Posts: 2,669
6/7/14 6:52 P

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lol...or if it really bothers you, you could take pictures of your flab, and next time you get complimented, whip out your phone and show them emoticon

But if it were me...I'd just enjoy the ride.

And hey, if you can get two 24 year olds to give you the evil eye, you must be doing something right!!!

The best exercise in the world is to bend down and help someone up.


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6/7/14 6:43 P

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Zorbs,

I have people say to me all the time, “Oh my gosh! I thought you were in your 30’s!” (I’m 52).

Some of these people may be yanking my chain. Some might have poor eyesight. Some may actually mean it. Regardless, it’s a nice thing for them to say and I’m not gonna lie, it does feel good. I would never point out to them, “Yeah, but, look at these crow’s feet right here! And I’m getting jowly!” It would just make them feel sorry they brought it up (and why in the world would I point these things out!)

Just reflect back to them the love and kindness they are giving you. You do that by graciously accepting their kindness (even if you don’t 100% believe their words).

If it makes you uncomfortable, just change the subject right after you acknowledge their kindness. “How ‘bout those hockey playoffs!” or "How’s your mom/dad/son/daughter doing?” Ask them a question about their life and that should turn the conversation around.

You could always go the humor route:
To, “Wow! You don’t have an ounce of fat on you!” you could reply, “Thanks! Good to know my new ballistic shaper’s working!” then BOOM! Change the subject.

Sometimes, a banana is just a banana. A compliment is just a compliment. In the end, it matters less why we feel we it’s true / untrue. Rather, it matters more how we graciously receive someone's kindness.

And if it REALLY bothers you, you could add several donuts a week and cut back on the work-outs.
emoticon

PS: GREAT day at the beach! Just savor how fit you really are and enjoy the fruits of your labor. Glad you feel better.




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6/7/14 6:23 P

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all I want is someone to say, "wow, you don't have a perfect body after all."

although I just got home from the beach and these 2 girls with perfectly flat stomachs who were about 24 with kids older than mine were giving me the evil eye the whole time, so I feel better.

Edited by: ZORBS13 at: 6/7/2014 (18:23)
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EELPIE's Photo EELPIE Posts: 2,669
6/7/14 4:33 P

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It's called a misconception.

Kinda like if you had grey hair, but coloured it so no one knew. Now, if someone complimented your lack of grey hair, you could either A: Smile and say "thank you". B: Freak out on them for making the assumption that you do not have grey hair, informing them that in fact you have grey hair, have had grey hair since age 33, and will always have grey hair, and how dare they assume such a horrible, monstrous thing to you.

The best exercise in the world is to bend down and help someone up.


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6/7/14 3:14 P

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because it IS a delusional lie. If someone said to me "you have fabulous legs!" or "you're a great runner!" I will gladly accept that compliment. I just want people to see me for who I really am, a person with visible flaws. I guess that is too much to ask.

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LARISSA_NY Posts: 135
6/7/14 3:00 P

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When people say "you have no body fat," I really, really doubt that they literally mean they think you have 0% body fat. It's an exaggeration. They're trying to pay you a compliment, and you're way overreacting.

It might be helpful to spend less time trying to convince people that you have body fat, which I promise you they already know regardless of what language they use to tell you that you look in shape, and spend more time trying to figure out why getting this particular compliment on your body is so triggering for you. Why on earth does this bother you so much that you feel like you have to refer to a harmless hyperbole as a "delusional lie" that you "refuse to accept"? Do similes and metaphors bother you that much too? Why do you have so much invested in people seeing you as flabby instead of fit?

They're telling you you look fit and healthy. Accept the compliment graciously and go on with your day.

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6/7/14 8:13 A

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bahahah I can't bench anywhere close to 100 pounds. More like 50.

“Sometimes the moments that challenge us the most, define us.” - Deena Kastor

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6/7/14 7:55 A



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Zorbie,

You're a personal trainer. You know those types of impedance meters are notoriously inaccurate. Can you have one of the other PTs where you work do a 9 point caliper test ? That would give you a closer idea of how much body fat you carry.

As I noted in one of my replies. When people look at you, they see fit. It's like my clients. All they can see is a woman who can bench over 100+ pounds. There are plenty of times I feel the same way. How can all these people call me thin when it's obvious that I too carry some extra weight.

They don't care. All they see is a fit person. Why can't we always see it ? If we were overweight for many years, all we see is the fat person. that's something many if not all of us struggle with. That's why I try to encourage people to stop picking themselves apart piece by piece.

Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative by accentuating your strengths instead of dwelling on any weaknesses (love handles). We are our own worst critics. Flaws we see in ourselves, no one else sees. That's why you only see love handles while everyone else sees a wonderfully fit person.

You need to start seeing that wonderfully fit person too... just like me.


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6/7/14 6:43 A



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It actually tells me that you are normal. Below is a link to Page 2 of the article "How to Get Six Pack Abs" - if you check out the second paragraph on that page, it says "To put this in perspective, "healthy" ranges of body fat are 14%-17% for men and 21%-24% for women."
www.sparkpeople.com/resource/fitness_artic
les.asp?id=97&page=2


Kris

Edited by: SLIMMERKIWI at: 6/7/2014 (06:44)
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6/7/14 5:33 A

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I don't have access to calipers, but my bodyfat measured by bioelectrical impedance is about 22% when using the handheld, 16% on the scale and 26% using electrodes fastened to 1 arm and the opposite leg.

So that tells you where I have a TON of body fat, right?

Edited by: ZORBS13 at: 6/7/2014 (05:35)
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MISSRUTH's Photo MISSRUTH Posts: 3,378
6/7/14 2:39 A

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idk.... maybe it's simply a matter of looking at the forest, rather than looking at the trees. Other people are looking at the forest-- they see how hard you work out and how fit you are overall (probably in contrast to how they see themselves, possibly in contrast to the "before" you) and make a generalized comment such as "you have no fat". Even when they see you holding your belly, they're looking at the whole, big picture and overall it doesn't register *to them* as a problem. Even your DH may see your belly fat as more of a womanly type softness (just a guess there) rather than *flab*. You, on the other hand, are looking at the trees. Most specifically, the "tree" that is your belly.

jmho but I'd make a comment like Archii suggested and just let it go. People tell me all the time, "You're so thin" but I know I have flabby thighs. They're just usually well-camouflaged by the types of clothes I wear. There is no point discussing/arguing/trying to prove a point about my thighs with them.

Ruth in Cookeville, TN Central Time Zone


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6/7/14 12:47 A



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I would be inclined to have your body fat measured. They do it at a lot of gyms - just make sure it is the 9 point skin-fold calipers and that the person who does it is actually qualified to do so. A LOT of people see fat (or excess fat) when it isn't - often just untoned muscle, altho' in the OP's case I very much doubt that is the case.

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BHENDRICK2's Photo BHENDRICK2 Posts: 658
6/6/14 10:43 P

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zorb i am in the same boat believe me my mom sis everyone says that but like you i can grab a big amount of fat so yea it upsets me too

http://www.terrorsofmen.com/ the website of the most inspiring man i know


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6/6/14 9:06 P

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I gladly accept compliments when they are deserved. But saying I have NO FAT is a delusional lie and I refuse to accept it.

“Sometimes the moments that challenge us the most, define us.” - Deena Kastor

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6/6/14 7:25 P



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Unfortunately, we can't control what others think or say. We can't force them to change opinions. Perhaps they are trying to compliment you. Accept it as such and then try to forget about it.

Kris

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6/6/14 7:11 P

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SLIMMERKIWI

you completely misunderstood my post. Other people tell me I have no fat, but I DO have plenty of fat and it actually pisses me off when people tell me I have a perfect, fat free body, because I DO NOT and I want people to acknowledge that I am not some paragon of fitness and that I am normal and have plenty of flab.

I can actually grab a handful on my stomach (and then some) and when I try to do the same thing to my husband, I can barely get enough to pinch.

Edited by: ZORBS13 at: 6/6/2014 (19:12)
“Sometimes the moments that challenge us the most, define us.” - Deena Kastor

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6/6/14 6:29 P



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I am sure that you realize that you have to have SOME fat!

I also strongly suspect that when you grab your handful's of 'fat' your tummy is relaxed which makes it far easier to grab that 'fat' which in fact will be a lot of relaxed muscle, too!

With the amount of exercise and weights, etc. that you do, I would be very surprised if you had anywhere near as much fat as you think you do.

If what I said upsets you, I am sorry, but sometimes we DO need to hear the truth!

Kris xx

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6/6/14 12:03 P



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Zorbie... this is how I would respond if someone told me I have no fat.

comment - you have NO fat !

Reply - Yes, I do. It's just deftly concealed.

LOL

I've also replied,"Yes, I do. It's just expertly camouflaged".




Edited by: ARCHIMEDESII at: 6/6/2014 (12:03)
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6/6/14 11:58 A

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I wish people would say, "you DO have fat, you just do a great job sucking it in." telling me I have NO fat is a total lie that infuriates me. Even my husband does it.

“Sometimes the moments that challenge us the most, define us.” - Deena Kastor

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6/6/14 11:23 A



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It's a matter of perception. To someone who is morbidly obese, they might perceive you as having no fat even though, you have posted photos of your love handles.

People admire you for the work you have done to achieve your goals. Why don't they have a realistic view ? Once again, it's a matter of perception. Show your photo to someone who wears a size 00 and they might say you need to lose a few. So, many of those comments depend on how that person sees you.

The fact is, to many people, you have a fit figure they would love to have even though you may have love handles. They don't see the fat, they just see the FIT.




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6/6/14 10:06 A

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Even though I post undoctored pictures of me grabbing handfuls of belly flab, people still insist that I don't have any. It frustrates me to NO end! Sure, I might be fitter than the average person, but I certainly don't have NO fat and I do not have a perfect body! I wish people would see me for the real person that I am and stop idolizing me like I'm the next Zuzana Light.

I don't hate my body, I just want people to have a realistic view of me. ARGH!

“Sometimes the moments that challenge us the most, define us.” - Deena Kastor

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