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MICHCLEARY is the moderator for this forum.

Posts: 2,311
1/5/14 9:13 A

HEMAMALINI100's SparkPage
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What are your hobbies ? Can you spend more time on that? Do you like cooking or any craft ?
Or a sport ?
I feel down sometimes too can't find anybody who have same interests but my hobbies bail me out.
I love food too much and have hard time staying in my cal range so binge often and regret later. This is my problem so you are not alone

Edited by: HEMAMALINI100 at: 1/5/2014 (10:10)
No matter how much you mess up today tomorrow is a new day. Keep on going.

 Pounds lost: 1.2 

CHERYL730's Photo Posts: 11
1/4/14 9:08 P

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Well just wanted to let you know you are not alone. I think being in here is very good as I read all these posts in here. I have suffered from depression over the years,been married a couple of times and now with a bf of 4 1/2 years. Being overweight for me is not helping but I try to stay positive. But just wanted to say hi and let you know you are not alone. emoticon

 current weight: 195.0 

AZ_CAT_PERSON's Photo Posts: 311
1/3/14 10:05 A

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Hi Rumble, I just wanted to let you know you are not alone, I feel your pain as I too have been feeling the same way and have binge eating since Thanksgiving.
Just remember that even though you dont have close friends in your town to talk to, you always have SP for support and to show you that you are not alone.

I visited your SparkPage and just wanted you to know that your furry family are great to talk to, I talk to my 3 cats alot, makes me feel better and I know then I am not alone, they are my family now.

emoticon emoticon

Sindia (Phoenix, AZ)

At the end of the day, if you're able to say that you lived well, loved much and laughed often then you, my friend, are the wealthiest person on Earth.
You can't lose what you never had, you can't keep what's not yours, and you can't hold onto something that doesn't want to stay.

 current weight: 264.0 

LINREVETTE's Photo Posts: 89
1/1/14 10:02 A

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Hey Rumble !! Didn't read the other responses so if I repeat something ... sorry .. Alone, Alone you SAY ... I get that .. Have you and your BF always been "more like roommates"? Well, look here ... you are not along this morning .. I'm going to check out your sparkpage :)

 current weight: 167.0 

1DERFULLLIFE's Photo SparkPoints: (220)
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12/30/13 3:12 P

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Why can't you have a date night? Have you asked him out? I find this works better for me and my DH if I call him mid-day and say "Hey what are your plans tonight? Meet me for dinner at...(Groupons are great for this), my treat!"We end up having a good meal together away from the stressers of home. I've done this with theater tickets, happy hours, museum exhibits, etc. It is a matter of keeping him (my DH) away from the couch before trying to do anything in the evenings. Of course now we have a kid so it's a little harder.
Make a 10 minute goal for the gym-that's great! I love the sleeping in the gym clothes too! I know for me if I get up an go all the way to the gym I will end up staying for at least 30 minutes because heck, getting me in the door is the hard part!
If you work try to make friends with someone there by seeing if anyone wants to take a quick walk at lunch or during a break.
Changing one or 2 little things can make a difference and snowball in to a lot of little changes that add up fast!
Try having a glass of water before you open your soda too. I find if I go for a soda and before I open it I stop and have a glass of water I often end up coming back in an hour and seeing my soda on the counter and putting back in the fridge because who whats that warm soda? I also only put 1 or maybe 2 in the fridge because for me I want my pop cold so if there isn't a cold one I'll have cold water.
Do one good thing today!

My goals are set for 2014 and I am ready to get healthy! I just turned 40, I just had a beautiful baby boy and I want to be a great roll model for him.

 Pounds lost: 14.5 

EELPIE's Photo Posts: 1,733
12/20/13 6:24 P

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lol...a lot of Pepsi is probably not helping at all!!

I hope some day you and your boyfriend can work on your issues, if not...when the time is right you might decide going your separate ways is the best. Could be a whole new beginning for you :)

Hope to see you around here again sometime!!

You are not fat. You have fat.
You also have fingernails. You are not fingernails.

 current weight: 114.0 

RUMBLESEAT's Photo SparkPoints: (1,394)
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12/20/13 6:05 P

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I have tried talking to my bf and he doesn't want to hear it. I only wish we could have date night. Sometimes I wonder why we're still together... I'll work on that tho.

I hadn't thought of the vitimin D deficiency and lack of sunlight etc. I did have bloodwork done recently and lack both Vit. D and Iron. And I'm sure the Pepsi isn't helping me with as far as sleep!

Thanks everyone. This has helped me.
It's too late to go to the gym tonight, but I'll go tomorrow, even if it is just for 10 min. ...and I plan to sleep in my gym clothes...I'll tell myself since I'm dressed for it, I might as well go!

I won't feel better if I don't DO something....ANYTHING!.

Getting it together one moment at a time.

 April Minutes: 55

ROWER03's Photo Posts: 109
12/20/13 5:11 P

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Sending you encouragement! Ok, here at SparkPeople you have a community. So, go to the gym, visit one church each month, give someone encouragement on Spark People, journal, cry when you need to.

Repeat: to the gym (or roll out of bed and do leg lifts/etc), do something, even something small, to help someone ( hold door for someone, write thank you note to your favorite store - anonymous is fine), journal, cry when you need to.

Push yourself a little more each week and join some groups or clubs and keep trying different ones until you find a good match. I discovered there are many nice people and yes, we do need to push ourselves out of our comfort zone - small steps.

Remember you ARE part of a community here and have people cheering you on.

Smile as you go.

Move forward. Tiny steps count.

EELPIE's Photo Posts: 1,733
12/20/13 12:31 P

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Oh hunny, I just wanna hug you!!!

I just wanna touch on three things...

Talk to your boyfriend. Tell him how you feel. Maybe he feels the same. I'd start doing date night. Rediscover each other, fall in love all over again. I hope you two are friends as well as to him. Tell him everything. You feel like you two are roommates, you're lonely, depressed. Talk to him. Open the lines of communication.

There are a *ton* of people here to talk to!!! Reach out, sweetie!!! No, we can't replace a close girlfriend who you can giggle on the phone with..but there are plenty of laughs to be had here. Talk here. There are always people here ready to lend an ear. Get involved, talk to to others, even if just giving your opinion, answering a question, telling a silly story.

Get back to the gym ASAP. Working out releases feel good endorphins, and will help you deal with stress. You can talk to people there, maybe make friends? Start conversations by complimenting someone's outfit, the weather, the holidays, the workout, a machine, trainers you see.....get exercising, and get talking!!

I really hope to see you back here, ok?

You are not fat. You have fat.
You also have fingernails. You are not fingernails.

 current weight: 114.0 

ARCHIMEDESII's Photo SparkPoints: (131,549)
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12/20/13 11:10 A

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Many people do get depressed around this time of year. It's supposed to be a joyous time for everyone, but some times many feel left out. You may feel like you're at the bottom of a pit looking up and wondering if you'll ever get yourself out.

Things may seem overwhelming right now, but you CAN make a change. Things don't have to remain status quo. You can make improvements, but you have to have a little faith in yourself. You have to be ready to do some things that are going to take you out of your comfort zone. And yes, wallowing in self pity is a comfort. If you don't want things to remain the way they are, you have to be brave and ready to make a change.

And it doesn't have to be something big or dramatic. When is the last time you treated yourself to a new hairstyle ? or maybe a new set of clothes ? Nothing says new attitude like properly fitted clothing. Don't buy clothes in hopes of losing weight later. Buy something snazzy that suits your current figure. get your hair done. pamper yourself a little. Then tell the boyfriend/room mate, you're going out for dinner. Make a date with the guy. When is the last time you put flowers out ? Go out and buy some flowers for the table. It'll help pick up your spirits as well as his.

These are things you can do right now that will help. What can you do later ? Spark People encourages all its members to set some simple goals for themselves. Don't try to do everything at once or you will end up frustrated. Example, if you're not eating 6-9 servings of fresh fruit and veggies, set a goal to eat 2-3 servings each day for one week. If you're not drinking 8 glasses of water, set a goal to drink 2-4 glasses each day for one week. If you're not exercising, don't try to do an hour a day, set a goal to take a 30 minute walk each day for one week. Once you've completed these goals, then you set new ones.

Now, let's talk about being single for a moment. There is a misconception that if a woman is married with kids, she must be a failure. this is WRONG WRONG WRONG. I know Dr Phil isn't exactly Dr Freud, but he made a really good point about being single on a show I saw a long time ago.

He told the woman guest,"you are not incomplete because you are not married".

Neither are you ! You are NOT an incomplete person because you're not married or have kids. The grass is always greener on the other guy's lawn. If marriage is so great, why does the United States have a divorce rate of over 50% ? Being single is not a death warrant. There are plenty of things you can do to make your life more fulfilling.

But you have to stop beating yourself because your life isn't perfect. None of us live that kind of life. You do the best you can with what you've got.

So, how about it ? Willing to go out, get your hair done, buy a snazzy outfit and get that boyfriend to take you out on the town ? it would be fun !

SP_COACH_DENISE's Photo Posts: 28,917
12/20/13 10:54 A

SparkPeople Team Member

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You have been given some good advice here. I would also recommend talking with your boyfriend about how you are feeling and even a health professional to help you work some of these feelings out.

With that said, there are some things to do to help you get back on track with healthy habits, which in turn can also help with getting out of the destructive behavior. Here's an article with tips for getting back on track:

Coach Denise

"Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it." - Michael Jordan

Searching for a buddy? Try using the search feature in the SparkPages section.

1,666 Days since:  No Soda

MSANITAL's Photo SparkPoints: (62,078)
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12/20/13 10:30 A

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My heart was braking why I was reading this and my head was saying this has been you.I could relate to everything except for being close to my sister. which we are but I think it is more like she is the big sis so we have nothing in common even thought she is 60 and I am 50.. yes I am 50 and I have those same feelings as you (not sure how old you are).. but when you said your boyfriend feels like a roommate I have been saying the same thing about my husband and we have been married for 15 years. but what I do know that when I get these feelings it does pass it really does. and then I move on. what helps me is working out even if you got to the gym and get on the treadmill for 15 minutes put your ear buds in blast some head banging music and walk. if that is all you can do for that time.. also I don't be so hard on your self. I think coming here writing about is a way of reaching out and that is also healing..
HUGS and things will get better

Merry Christmas..


Leader of :Make it Happen if you want to make it happen come join us.. we would love to have you

Your Never a loser until you quite trying.

 current weight: 250.0 

SLIMMERKIWI's Photo SparkPoints: (112,647)
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12/20/13 5:04 A

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Hi - I'm sorry that you feel so alone, and hope that you are able to overcome this.

I strongly suggest that you make an appointment with your Dr and talk about this to him/her. It sounds like you may need a physical along with some bloods to see if there is anything medical going on - things like Hypothyroidism, low iron or B12, Vitamin D etc. If these are an issue, then you will have gone a long way to address part of the problem. Reduced sunlight means reduced Vitamin D, and this can affect a lot of people, causing Seasonal Affective Disorder (also known as "SAD:) Medication can sometimes help, but your Dr will discuss this with you. It may also be time to review any medications that you may already be on because sometimes a medication can interfere with a persons emotional health, even if it is prescribed for something totally different.

Also, it may be worth asking your Dr for a referral to a Therapist who can help you deal with your negative issues. They can be truly a God-send.

As far as nutrition is concerned, do you eat a healthy, balanced diet? One that includes plenty of lean protein and a good amount of fruit/veges? Especially dark, leafy greens? They can help immensely with improving our energy and general health. Healthy fats also help with this. Getting some exercise in will also be a very good friend. Apart from helping us to achieve or maintain a healthy weight, it also helps to lift us up emotionally. Try going for a walk outside for a little while if you can.

You mention that your boyfriend is more like a roommate who doesn't have time or interest in you. Have you discussed this with him? If not, I think that you both need to have a talk to sort things out. Otherwise resentment could set in.

You may not feel that you have a support system in your physical life, but you will find that if you come on to the message boards, you WILL get support from the SP family. It may not be the same in person, but do know that people care!

Take care

Co-Moderator Dealing with Depression

Team Leader Essential Tremors :-) (Benign and Familial)

Co-Leader Crohn's Can't Stop Me

I am not a Dr - please check with your qualified Health Professional for a diagnosis and treatment plan

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RUMBLESEAT's Photo SparkPoints: (1,394)
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12/19/13 10:37 P

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I'm feeling lost and alone again tonight.
I haven't been to the gym since before Thanksgiving.
Back to drinking (way too much)Pepsi daily.

And what hurts most is the self pity and even tho I know it's negitive behavior, I can't stop it!
If I fell off the planet, no one would notice.

I don't have a friend to talk to. I don't have any real friends.
I am not close to my sisters, in fact, we avoid each other. (we have nothing in common).
I believe in God and usually have strong faith, but I don't belong to a church and will not likely join one.
My boyfriend is more like a just a roommate who doesn't have time or interest in me.

I feel like I'm lost.
I don't care enough to get it together. It feels like a waste of time and energy..."energy"?? what's that!!

How do I pull myself out of this destructive behavior with no support system!!?

Getting it together one moment at a time.

 April Minutes: 55

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