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STARDUST2K4's Photo STARDUST2K4 Posts: 1,346
11/16/13 5:38 P

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I'm sorry for your loss.

Regarding the body changing, it can definitely create fear. I personally have been within 10 pounds of losing my 100th pound, and have gained more than 30 pounds back. It's very frustrating and it can be very discouraging.

I remember last February when I was 92 pounds down, I woke up one morning, and expected to be in my old 330-pound body, then feeling strange when I realized that I wasn't.

Don't give up! Understand that it is normal for people to go through these emotions when our physical appearance is changing.


Don't ever let anyone else tell you who you can be



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GYPSYGOTH's Photo GYPSYGOTH SparkPoints: (87,093)
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11/16/13 3:29 P

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Totally normal.

My skin is looser and my boobs are smaller and I am pretty sure I will still never be able to expose my midriff in public although my problem is not the fat, now!

It is hard to see because I think we all "hoped" we'd be "perfect" if we just lost the weight. Not true; unfortunately we have to change our definitions of perfect!

I am healthier and fitter and clothes fit me much better and I am (apparently) not "fat" anymore, according to a 24-year-old I work with, lol. I celebrate my success in getting stronger and I am learning to feel sexy in this new body, even if it is different from before. (I have to say, it's fascinating to have people talking to MY FACE now! emoticon )

emoticon



~desiree/dez/D~
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PATTYR81's Photo PATTYR81 Posts: 568
11/16/13 9:31 A

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emoticon I'm sorry about your daughter. emoticon

Regarding body image and fears, You are NOT alone!!!!

After my RNY last Oct. I lost weight sometimes, slooooowly, sometimes in a spurt. Wearing winter clothes, I felt 'safe' cuz nobody really mentioned noticing my changes. However, In the Spring, I HAD to buy smaller clothes. DD#3 went shopping with me and 'supervised' my choices. With her 'advice' (insistence), I chose well-fitting, (but not trampy) spring bright color tops and jeans that didn't bag off my butt.

The comments from friends/acquaintances rolled in and completely overwhelmed me. Irrational fears blossomed. I was afraid I really didn't look different, that nobody would notice, that men would look and/or 'come on' to me, that my 'friends' would hate me (I did have to let go of a good fat-girl friendship with someone who became very jealous and competitive about weight loss (which I NEVER bragged or talked about. Only briefly answered specific questions.) Then I was afraid I would gain back my weight.

Now at 106 lbs down and 10-20 lbs to go (haven't decided yet), I have fleeting fears that I will lose TOO MUCH weight (WOW) along with the fear of gaining it all back. emoticon

It's a journey and every day I work on accepting where my body is at~~ emoticon



RNY 10/8/12

High Wt 296
Surgery Wt 270

"So much has changed yet who I am finding is my old self again." DSCROW's blog 8/1/13


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RENATARUNS's Photo RENATARUNS SparkPoints: (3,758)
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11/15/13 4:25 P

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I'm so sorry for your loss.

This is normal, though, and probably just about everyone goes through it. Sometimes buying new clothes would help (having all my clothes falling off me made me feel just as nasty as my clothes being too tight did). Sometimes the insecurities would be as temporary as just ignoring them for that particular moment of feeling bad, and then the next morning would be fine again. Sometimes they lingered for a while.

It gets better.

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OLGA18 SparkPoints: (10,422)
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11/15/13 4:02 P

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Gym, The grieving process is a roller coaster and I am so very sorry for the loss you suffered that put you on it.
As women and Mothers our bodies change constantly and it certainly makes sense that the changes you are seeing in your body now can have a huge impact on your grieving process.
I don't have any wonderful words of wisdom for you other than to suggest
that you be patient and kind with yourself through this process.
Try to remember that the part of your body where your daughter still lives is in your heart and no amount of weight gained or lost is going to affect that.




GYMCHICK30's Photo GYMCHICK30 SparkPoints: (15,292)
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11/15/13 4:02 P

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Thank you for this information. I am glad I am not the only one that is experiencing this.



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ARCHIMEDESII's Photo ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (140,449)
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11/15/13 3:34 P



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GYMCHICK30,

What you're experiencing is not unusual. There are a million billion diet books out there that will tell a person how to lose weight. What none of them tell you is that your body changes faster than your head. Basically, you need more time for your brain/psyche to adjust to your weight loss. And that's not something that happens overnight.

You may have read posts from other members who've lamented that they don't seem happy with their bodies inspite of having lost 50-100+ pounds. Losing that much weight requires a HUGE psychological change. And yet, the diet books make it seem that losing weight is as easy as dropping a clothing size. It's not. The diet books also make it sound that the minute we lose weight, we'll be happy with ourselves.

It really does take time to adjust to the new you. We're so used to being overweight, that once we lose the weight, being thin seems alien to us. And well, some people do use their weight as a buffer to the outside world. Many people do fear success. Being overweight can be a comfort zone that many people don't want to come out of.

Mostly, I think you need to be more patient with yourself.

Pardon the pun, but you will grow into your new body.


Edited by: ARCHIMEDESII at: 11/15/2013 (15:39)
GYMCHICK30's Photo GYMCHICK30 SparkPoints: (15,292)
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11/15/13 2:28 P

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Does anyone else have issues with their body changing as they loss weight?

I am having issues with my body image as I lose the weight.

I am wondering if it is because I am saying goodbye to my old body the body I had when I lost my daughter could it be part of the grieving process?

I don't know I am just not comfortable in my skin right now. Almost to the point I am afraid of losing more weight.



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