I think I just need to vent, really. Or ask other people if they've experienced something similar.
What did your weight gain cause you to give up?
Let me clarify: I've gained almost forty pounds in the last two years. I know this to be true because my husband and I got married on July 16th, 2011, and I was 156 then. I am now 190, and its largely due to lifestyle change. After we got married I enrolled into college full-time while also keeping my part-time retail job, then taking another job at the school. I've always had issues with stress eating, so during finals, the holidays, family events, etc. I would make big portions of our favorite foods and even non-essentials like pie or cookies. I even took a summer course where, to motivate myself to study, I would bake a tray of cookies and eat one when I got to a stopping point (not a dozen, but like, eight, and they'd usually last three or four days).
I know I had bad habits, and I know what I did wrong, I just didn't realize it was going to have such a negative impact on the things I love.
I love to hike. I always have. Walking in the woods is where I can reconnect, find solace, and be truly happy. Its one of the things my husband and I started out doing regularly when we first got together.
We went on a short one today (3 miles), and I felt like crap during and after it was over. The weather was perfect, yes, there were hills, but this trail has never kicked my butt like this before, and today I had to sit down when we were almost done because I literally couldn't breathe.
It scared me, but not only that it really broke my heart. I attribute this largely to my abrupt weight gain, and I feel a little self-resentment that I caused this, I neglected something I love so much, and in turn, neglected my health.
I apologize for such a long rant. I know what I have to do from here, but I just feel really, really low right now. Thank you for listening.
| Pounds lost: 0.0