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Afraid of crashing and burning yet again



 
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K_SABLE
K_SABLE's Photo Posts: 64
6/25/13 10:18 P

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I'm pretty new to the message boards. So, I'm nervous to jump in, but I wonder if the member who keeps starting these 'Panic' topics everyone is commenting on and posting defensive replies, should consider seeing a professional counselor or therapist. This website and its members, alone, can't provide help for every underlying issue or need that may be posing as barrier to meeting goals. (just a thought...)

"What you focus on expands, and when you focus on the goodness in your life, you create more of it."

"The part can never be well unless the whole is well."


"Don't try to lose weight. Take delight in gaining fitness."


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SLIMMERKIWI
SLIMMERKIWI's Photo SparkPoints: (111,822)
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6/25/13 8:12 P



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WOW - things seem to be getting a little heated here - I know that frustration can do this to people, but it isn't very conducive re dealing with the issue.

Lissa - a couple thoughts you may/may not have already tried.

1. Go grocery shopping with your Dad and you select the fresh fruit/veges you want/need.

2. Go to the mall for a walk less, and perhaps take a healthy picnic in it's place and go to a park and walk around there. Even swapping a mall walk for this, one day a week, might make an impact on your weight/health, but not be too much of a change for your friend.

Kris

Co-Moderator Dealing with Depression
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I am not a Dr - please check with your qualified Health Professional for a diagnosis and treatment plan


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BUNNYKICKS
BUNNYKICKS's Photo Posts: 2,173
6/25/13 7:45 P

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-I recall saying that I lost control just having it around,
-Didn't I say that I was going to see how long I can go without my favorite food: barbecue potato chips?
-That just isn't an option for me at this moment
- I've said repeatedly that THIS IS NOT AN OPTION.
- cutting down to 2% isn't worth the 10 calories.
-I already do that
------------------------------

Right. Ok. So. You received MULTIPLE good suggestions - but you're either already doing them or they aren't practical for you and/or you aren't willing to incorporate these particular suggestions. FAIR ENOUGH. Do what you want! Take the suggestions you like and ignore the rest!

But don't mistake "a suggestion that won't work for me" for "people telling me to do things I don't want to do, ganging up on me and telling me I can't go out with my friends."

You also do not need to justify each and every rejection of each and every suggestion. Why do you feel compelled to offer up an essay explaining why you can't do this or won't do that? Do what you want, you are your own person, justify yourself to no one.

But don't make excuses to *yourself.*

Goal 1 - break 200 (46 pounds lost)**DONE**
Goal 2 - leave obesity behind (BMI 29.9, at 185#) **DONE**
Goal 3 - BMI = Normal (154# or less)


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HONEYLISSABEE
HONEYLISSABEE's Photo Posts: 1,173
6/25/13 7:13 P

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Perhaps I do get it from my father, but I'm more inclined to think I automatically become defensive because of my father.

Being like my father is one of my greatest fears.

Twitter/Instagram: @FtSoLK (From the Scales of Lissa Kristine)

Facebook: "HoneyLissaBee.com's From the Scales of Lissa Kristine" (public page; "like")

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LADYSTARWIND
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6/25/13 7:09 P

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"" he just likes hearing himself. He might pretend he's listening, but he isn't. He's the kind of person who acts like everything must be done his way, or it is the wrong way""

Seems like you are talking about YOURSELF and YOUR BEHAVIOR !!!
Good Luck in your future---read the sparkmail I sent you.
patti

"Its not the Mountain ahead that wears you out, but the grain of sand in your shoe..."


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HONEYLISSABEE
HONEYLISSABEE's Photo Posts: 1,173
6/25/13 6:29 P

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It's been suggested that you could cut down your daily consumption of Monkey Bread from 1600 calories/8 servings, to 400 calories/2 servings.

-I recall saying that I lost control just having it around, and that I did plan on only eating part of it. I also don't know why you are calling it a "daily" consumption when I've only had monkey bread TWICE in my lifetime.

Or that you get trigger foods like chips out of the house.

-Didn't I say that I was going to see how long I can go without my favorite food: barbecue potato chips?

Or that you go out for coffee instead of full meals.

-That just isn't an option for me at this moment. Maybe once in a while, it will work. We can even compromise a bit more and get frozen yogurt instead, but it's not a realistic change for me.

Or that you have your friend over and cook for him, instead of relying on restaurant meals.

- I've said repeatedly that THIS IS NOT AN OPTION. We are not allowed to cook at his house, and my dad has been known to be very cruel to him anywhere from refusing to learn his name to calling him a "selfish b*****d" and claiming he pimps me out for meals at IHOP. It's not the kind of environment either of us want to be in. We may be able to cook together on occasion, but not on a regular basis. Otherwise, we definitely WOULD (we'd make dinner and have leftovers for lunches).

Or cut your milk down, or reduce the fat content of your milk.

-I usually only drink a cup, maybe two, in a day, and cutting down to 2% isn't worth the 10 calories. I understand that 1% is even lower in calories, but I would rather not drink milk at all than drink 1%. Full-fat milk is more indulgent, and I'm able to sit down and enjoy it. Sometimes, I'll have a glass of milk and some fruit for dessert. Of course, a cup of milk is 150 calories and 6 oz of my favorite yogurt is 130-160 calories, so there's not much of a difference there, and a milk with more fat is just as filling as a yogurt for me.

Or put your salad drsesings on the side.

-I already do that, and I typically go with oil and vinegar over dressings. I use my spoon as a measuring spoon so I'm not just haphazardly pouring dressing. Most places use too much dressing, so getting dressing on the side is a no-brainer.

Or ask your friends and family to support your desire to eat healthy, instead of sabotaging you by putting you in situations/providing you with food you don't want or need.

-My friend is easier to work with. He understands that we probably shouldn't go to CPK as often as we would like because the menu is harder to work with. He's also fine with splitting a SkinnyLicious appetizer if that's what works for me. He's not willing to completely give up eating out (neither am I), but he's willing to compromise on where we go. If we do go to CPK, I'll make sure the pizza we get is thin-crust to cut back on calories. He has no problem with doing that.

My dad, however, is not as easy. I've tried talking to him, but he just likes hearing himself. He might pretend he's listening, but he isn't. He's the kind of person who acts like everything must be done his way, or it is the wrong way. I honestly believe that, unless he realizes that HE needs to make changes in his own life, that there's always going to be conflict with him about this. My mom is a little better as she's putting some effort into losing weight, but the two heaviest in the family, my dad and younger sister (who weighs around 200-220 pounds minimum) don't care about their weight.

Twitter/Instagram: @FtSoLK (From the Scales of Lissa Kristine)

Facebook: "HoneyLissaBee.com's From the Scales of Lissa Kristine" (public page; "like")

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BUNNYKICKS
BUNNYKICKS's Photo Posts: 2,173
6/25/13 5:56 P

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"The impression that the majority has given me is that I need to stop eating out completely, stop eating any junk food completely, and start eating a diet void of any additives, processed foods, and the like overnight. If I cannot do this, then I'm obviously not ready to lose weight. "
--------------

I have yet to see anyone make a suggestion like this.

It's been suggested that you could cut down your daily consumption of Monkey Bread from 1600 calories/8 servings, to 400 calories/2 servings.

Or that you get trigger foods like chips out of the house.

Or that you go out for coffee instead of full meals.

Or that you have your friend over and cook for him, instead of relying on restaurant meals.

Or cut your milk down, or reduce the fat content of your milk.

Or put your salad drsesings on the side.

Or ask your friends and family to support your desire to eat healthy, instead of sabotaging you by putting you in situations/providing you with food you don't want or need.

Where has anyone ever said "stay in the house, never socialize again, just stay home and eat plain chicken and steamed broccoli"?? The ONLY person who ever made a suggestion like THAT, was YOU.

You think people are "telling you what to do" and "want you to do x, or y" - well here's a news flash for you - nobody cares all that very much what you do, what you weigh, how you socialize, whether you eat chips or fruit. However, when you post a thread asking for suggestions and assistance, people will answer. For example, does it matter to me, that you ate a pan of Monkey Bread? No. I couldn't possibly care less. But if you ask for suggestions on how to better meet your daily calorie ranges without feelings cravings and sugar-crashing hunger, I MIGHT be so kind as to take time out of my day to suggest "you could ditch the monkey bread." That's my level of care. You are the centre of your own universe only; what you do affects only you. What you choose to do can be chosen only by you. You and only you are the bearer of the consequences of your choices.



Goal 1 - break 200 (46 pounds lost)**DONE**
Goal 2 - leave obesity behind (BMI 29.9, at 185#) **DONE**
Goal 3 - BMI = Normal (154# or less)


 current weight: 169.0 
 
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BUNNYKICKS
BUNNYKICKS's Photo Posts: 2,173
6/25/13 5:47 P

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"If I refuse to eat out, then I'm going to get a lot of slack from my best friend about changing everything"
----------------

As for this - your best friend is also a Sparker and has also posted his own concerns from time to time regarding healthy eating and weight management. What makes you think he'd give you slack for trying to improve your eating habits, when he wants the same thing? Support each other, don't undermine each other simply because you've established the habit.

Goal 1 - break 200 (46 pounds lost)**DONE**
Goal 2 - leave obesity behind (BMI 29.9, at 185#) **DONE**
Goal 3 - BMI = Normal (154# or less)


 current weight: 169.0 
 
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BUNNYKICKS
BUNNYKICKS's Photo Posts: 2,173
6/25/13 5:45 P

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"And getting coffee isn't an option since I don't drink coffee. "

-facepalm-

The phrase "go for a coffee" can and usually does incorporate the full range of beverage options typically found at a coffee shop. Such as - Tea! Steamed milk! Sparkling water! Juices! Hot chocolate!

But you CHOOSE to disregard the suggestion "go for coffee instead of a steak and fries meal" because "you don't drink coffee."

So go for a tea? Go for a milk? Go for a cocoa? Do I have to be THIS specific in order for you to consider the suggestion as something you could work with???

I honestly don't know why anyone (including myself) wastes time suggesting one darn thing to you. I've seen on thread after thread after thread, you have knocked down, cut down, stamped on and more often than not snarked-at-and-insulted the people who have tried to give you suggestions. In the past, I've gone so far as to suggest you are not posting here for advice at all, but just to "troll for reaction" - which, once again, you've gotten. But where has this gotten you?

Goal 1 - break 200 (46 pounds lost)**DONE**
Goal 2 - leave obesity behind (BMI 29.9, at 185#) **DONE**
Goal 3 - BMI = Normal (154# or less)


 current weight: 169.0 
 
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HONEYLISSABEE
HONEYLISSABEE's Photo Posts: 1,173
6/25/13 5:09 P

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" have not once seen you say, "I will give up XYZ so that I can reach goal A" (and clearly, you wouldn't say that exactly word for word because it is an over broad example)."

What about when I said "Starting Friday, I'm cutting store bought sweets from my diet (snack cakes) and my barbecue chips. I'm going to see how long I can go without them. I'm preparing ideas for healthier swaps to wean me off. I might not cut a drastic amount of calories from the chips right away, but I should be cutting back a little at least, and triscuits with a dip made of Greek yogurt and ranch dressing mix is certainly a better choice than those chips."?

And getting coffee isn't an option since I don't drink coffee. Unsweetened iced tea, yes. Coffee is a once a year thing in Ocean City- coffee with vanilla soy milk.

Typically, my social schedule is as follows: we'll go to the mall, a bookstore, or somewhere to walk around and hang out if we go out earlier. If we go out later, we'll generally eat first. Dinner is around 7-8pm on average (which is the best time for both of us. I eat dinner at the same time when at home). If we have an earlier dinner and dinner is shorter, we'll go walk around the closest shopping center, or we'll go for a walk around town (like we did last night). Then, we'll end the night at Starbucks for iced tea (I get unsweetened iced tea.)

Thing is, this routine we've gotten ourselves into is one that has been building since 2006. If I refuse to eat out, then I'm going to get a lot of slack from my best friend about changing everything. He's willing to compromise- to a degree. We don't eat at CPK as often as we did years ago because their menu is harder for me to eat healthier at- though I've been learning some tips to make it easier. I can tell him that I'd prefer Ruby Tuesday over Applebees because Ruby has the salad bar, and he'll take that into consideration. Of course, there will be days he really wants to go somewhere and I'll have to make do, but we've developed a system that works for us. If he wants to go out for a burger and fries, he isn't going to make me go to Five Guys.

Sometimes, our compromise will be to order one of the lighter appetizers off the menu to share and splurge on dessert. Other times, I'll suggest we skip dessert and get frozen yogurt instead.

But if I sit in and don't eat out, then nobody wins. That means that not only do I sit in all night, but so does my best friend. That isn't fair to him.

And contrary to popular belief, we have actually gone to The Cheesecake Factory and ordered salad. No bread, no appetizers, no dessert. JUST SALAD.

When I first started Weight Watchers, I lost a lot of weight, but I also had weekly planned binges. I'm not sure if I unintentionally formed a habit, or if my body is reacting to drops in calories. All I know is I'll do really well on my healthy eating plan. Then, something happens. Maybe the wait at the restaurant was a little longer than expected and all I can think about is the fact that this restaurant has the best french fries. Maybe my plans for going food shopping were postponed for another night, and my mom has just eaten the last bag of frozen veggies that I was saving for dinner. Sometimes, there is no trigger; I just start feeling VERY hungry, and like that, I lose control.

I didn't get hungry eating 20% less than my TDEE. I just started it on a week without grocery shopping. I had enough groceries to get me through the weekend (my week starts on Friday), but I knew I would need to restock. My mom was also eating healthier, and my dad started getting into one of his nasty moods: commenting on how he thought my mom couldn't have a slice of pizza because she's "dieting." I ate through the rest of the healthy groceries, but couldn't bring myself to just make do with what I had. I had random little ingredients, but nothing that I could put together into a healthy meal- and no vegetables. On top of that, it was a week I needed gas for my car, so between savings and gas, I had no extra money to spend my own food for the next few days.

I tend to get into a "if it's not healthy, it's not worth it" mindset at home. I'm more willing to splurge while eating out, but not at home. So, since I was unable to make a full balanced meal at home, I decided nothing was worth it, so that's what I ate- nothing.

After a while, I could not handle the hunger, and I ended up binging on a block of cheese in the fridge at 11:00 at night.

I have had so many false starts. So many times where I've jumped into diet and exercise plans only to succumb to temptation and fall off the wagon. I've had dozens of these false starts in 2013 alone, and the more it happens, the more discouraged I get. I have spent a lot of time working on figuring out what works best for me, and with these small changes, I actually feel like I'm making some positive steps. I know I'll get faster results if I jump into a diet, but that's only if I'm able to stick to it. I thought maybe focusing on cutting out certain treats at home first would be a good start. Then, I can worry about cutting back on dessert when eating out. If I cut out all sweets at once, I won't last a moment.

I will honestly do much better if I go out and order a reasonably healthy meal and share dessert than if I sit in all day every day. I'll be more physically active, and less likely to binge due to boredom and depression.

I started this thread about wanting to make small changes that are more significant than eating a piece of fruit every day. However, I still want to have my cake and eat it too. I don't need to have it on a daily basis- or even once a week, but I need to cut back slowly rather than going cold turkey. The impression that the majority has given me is that I need to stop eating out completely, stop eating any junk food completely, and start eating a diet void of any additives, processed foods, and the like overnight. If I cannot do this, then I'm obviously not ready to lose weight.

If that is the case, then I might as well accept the fact that I am going to be obese for the rest of my life.

I should also add that I don't just buy groceries for myself. I buy them for the entire family. That's why my dad usually pays, and I still spend a significant amount of my own money on food. I've even dipped into my college savings for groceries- that was a week I didn't go out to eat, by the way.

I just wanted to post in here one last time to explain things again.

Lissa



Twitter/Instagram: @FtSoLK (From the Scales of Lissa Kristine)

Facebook: "HoneyLissaBee.com's From the Scales of Lissa Kristine" (public page; "like")

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SUSANSEARCY
SUSANSEARCY's Photo SparkPoints: (6,345)
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6/25/13 4:46 P

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People on this website do care. You've received suggestion after suggestion on how to eat healthier or be more active, but every time you give a reason why that simply won't work, or why you refuse to give something up. You don't seem to want to change anything except to stop eating zebra cakes. You have to make the decision to change and then make it happen, not just think you'll lose weight without putting in the time and effort and changes it takes to eat more nutritiously and be more physically active. As Henry Ford once said, ""If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got."



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CLARK971
CLARK971's Photo Posts: 651
6/25/13 4:17 P

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Have you considered professional help or over eaters anonymous? Like an addict, you have an excuse and a way to rationalize everything.





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BUNNYKICKS
BUNNYKICKS's Photo Posts: 2,173
6/25/13 3:48 P

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There's also the option of going out for COFFEE. Much cheaper, much less calories, and really a nicer atmosphere to "hang out" in.

Now, that is a perfectly good suggestion - and not an attack. Though, given what you've recently written here and elsewhere, I feel confident that you will come up with a grand explanation as to why "going out for coffee" is impossible, coupled with some sarcasm and snark and claims that I'm "telling you what to do" and being mean and driving you out with my useless suggestions and demands, within minutes of me actually posting this. Oh well.





Goal 1 - break 200 (46 pounds lost)**DONE**
Goal 2 - leave obesity behind (BMI 29.9, at 185#) **DONE**
Goal 3 - BMI = Normal (154# or less)


 current weight: 169.0 
 
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LGREGG07
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6/25/13 3:28 P

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in my opinion, you are not mentally ready to take on the responsibility of managing your own weight loss. If you can come up with an excuse for anything (dad wont let you buy fruit/veggies, no job, etc.) than you are not mentally prepared to stand up and say "I will give up XYZ" to reach my goals. I have not once seen you say, "I will give up XYZ so that I can reach goal A" (and clearly, you wouldn't say that exactly word for word because it is an over broad example).

WHY do you and your best friend HAVE to hang out at dinner time? If your friend has a full time job then I can understand them only being free after 5, but why can't you watch a movie at each other's houses? or just plain hang out?! When my friends and I want to hang out (and yes, we are also tight for money) we look on Pinterest or Google to come up with free or extremely cheap ideas to do something together. Even if your friend has gift cards or will treat you, why don't you tell them NO I'm try to watch what I eat and lose some weight. Most people are very supportive of their friends goals, and if they aren't, then I don't see how you can consider them a true friend. Eating is not the only thing to do together.

I think you need to re-evaluate where you are mentally before you start your weight loss journey. Just a thought...



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ICEDEMETER
ICEDEMETER's Photo Posts: 608
6/25/13 3:18 P

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Quote:

"So, my new Sparkpeople plan

1. No going out with friends. No going to church. I will only leave my house to buy chicken breast and steamed vegetables or go to job interviews.

2. No junk food at all. Any amount of junk food is pure evil.My diet will consist of chicken and vegetables."

Welcome to reality for many, many people. There are a lot of folks who now, or in their past, have had to look at their economic reality, and decide that they *need* a roof over their heads, basic clothes on their backs, and the most nutritious food that they can afford. They can't afford additional medical care, so they do what they can with food and exercise to stay as healthy as possible. While they may *want* to go to restaurants, or socialize more, or buy foods that don't nourish their bodies, they place the priority on meeting their *needs* first.

Since you are an adult, there is nobody here on Spark, or in your family, or in your church, or in your circle of friends, who can make your choices for you. You have chosen to put the priority on your *wants*, which is your right. Now you get to take responsibility for your choice, and accept the consequences.



Start weight: 240 lbs
Goal weight: 155 lbs (reached March 7, 2014)

Afraid of a colonoscopy? Believe me - they are much less frightening than surgery and chemotherapy.

Colonoscopies allow polyps to be removed before they can become cancer, or let cancers be found before they are too widespread. If you are 50 or older, or have any symptoms, please don't let fear stop you from covering your butt.

Get checked!


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ERICADURR
ERICADURR's Photo Posts: 241
6/25/13 3:03 P

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In no way have I advocated only for steamed vegetables and chicken breasts. You can look at my logged foods, if you'd like. I eat a heck of a lot more variety than that. What I'm saying is that you're deluding yourself saying that same same amount of calories worth of chips is going to be as filling as chicken and broccoli. Do you know how much chicken you'd have to eat in order to compare to that ginormous sack of potato chips? A family sized bag of Lays BBQ potato chips contains over 2000 calories. I'll be generous and say you only eat half the bag--that's still 1000 calories. You'd have to eat THIRTY OUNCES of chicken to get that many calories. That's nearly two pounds of chicken.

I blog at www.fitnessfaythe.blospot.com -- check me out! :)


BUNNYKICKS
BUNNYKICKS's Photo Posts: 2,173
6/25/13 2:44 P

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"So, my new Sparkpeople plan

1. No going out with friends. No going to church. I will only leave my house to buy chicken breast and steamed vegetables or go to job interviews.

2. No junk food at all. Any amount of junk food is pure evil.My diet will consist of chicken and vegetables"

---------------

Let us know how well the Sarcasm Plan works out for you, kay?




Goal 1 - break 200 (46 pounds lost)**DONE**
Goal 2 - leave obesity behind (BMI 29.9, at 185#) **DONE**
Goal 3 - BMI = Normal (154# or less)


 current weight: 169.0 
 
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HONEYLISSABEE
HONEYLISSABEE's Photo Posts: 1,173
6/25/13 2:42 P

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When I go back to work, I will have to be available to work up until 6:30. Church starts at 7. There is no possible way I will be able to eat dinner before church. NONE.

My friend's grandmother loves giving him giftcards. Plain and simple.

We've gone to the freaking library. It's the most boring thing we can think to do, but we'll do it. We also walk around stores.

That's what we'll do. We'll go out at 7-8pm when we normally go out and eat dinner and walk around Target for an hour and then go home. Or we'll go out in the gross humid weather and frequent thunderstorms and look at the clouds.

I guess giving up church and hanging out with my best friend is my only option. And I NEVER said I go out with my friends every week after church. In fact, I stopped going to church most weeks. I ONLY GO TO CHURCH ONCE OR TWICE A MONTH NOW, and we don't always go out afterwards.

And a bag of chips is more filling. If I eat a bag of chips, I'll be full for hours. I won't be full for hours eating grilled chicken and steamed broccoli.

Bunny- I see you purposely omitted something when you repeated a phrase from my post, the "HE'LL COMPLAIN MORE ABOUT NOT HAVING MONEY." IF HE SAYS WE DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY, I CAN'T BORROW THE CREDIT CARD TO SPEND MONEY ON FOOD! It's not that I'm specifically cut off from buying healthy food. I'm cut off from borrowing the credit card to spend money on ANYTHING. I am overdue for an eye exam, but whenever I approach my dad about that, he'll complain about being broke. It's not just healthy food. It's any spending. It just so happens that the only time I borrow the credit card now is to buy healthy groceries for the household.

So, my new Sparkpeople plan

1. No going out with friends. No going to church. I will only leave my house to buy chicken breast and steamed vegetables or go to job interviews.

2. No junk food at all. Any amount of junk food is pure evil.My diet will consist of chicken and vegetables.


Twitter/Instagram: @FtSoLK (From the Scales of Lissa Kristine)

Facebook: "HoneyLissaBee.com's From the Scales of Lissa Kristine" (public page; "like")

ftsolkhoneylissabee.wordpress.com


 current weight: 499.0 
 
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ERICADURR
ERICADURR's Photo Posts: 241
6/25/13 2:30 P

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Pardon my language, but you have to be on crack to think a $4 bag of chips is more filling than $4 worth of tomatoes. It may be more appetizing, but it is in no way more filling. And for $4, I can get a dozen eggs and a loaf of bread. Far more nutritious and filling than a bag of potato chips.

I blog at www.fitnessfaythe.blospot.com -- check me out! :)


HONEYLISSABEE
HONEYLISSABEE's Photo Posts: 1,173
6/25/13 2:26 P

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I had a nice supply of giftcard money for Starbucks, and I only order unsweetened iced tea- not the $5 drinks. I've also collected spare change to use with Coinstar for my giftcard.

Once again. I USE BUY ONE GET ONE FREE COUPONS AND GIFTCARDS FOR EATING OUT. Often, my friend buys his entree, and I get one for free, or he'll treat if he's desperate to go out and I don't have the money or coupons. Why is this so hard to understand?

I don't go out every day. I go out maybe a 2-3 times a week. Most of the time, I sit around at home doing nothing. I went out almost every day in the past, but I've cut back significantly. I'm just not going to make a lot of major changes for eating out right away. I'm going to focus on making some big steps at home first, and then conquer dining out.

And my dad will ask if I need anything from the grocery store. I'm more likely to get something if I ask for chips or snack cakes. I've asked for fruit before, and he'll either come back with nothing because it was too expensive, or he'll come back with fruit that is bruised or just not good.

Plus, a bag of chips is the same cost as a container of tomatoes (if not less). The chips are more filling. If I get the tomatoes, I'll still need to spend more money on food, but the chips will sustain me for a meal and snacks.

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BUNNYKICKS
BUNNYKICKS's Photo Posts: 2,173
6/25/13 2:25 P

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I'm not even going to address the laundry list of excuses, justifications, rationalizations, and petulant whining.....

But I will address this:

"I feel like you are twisting my words around, Bunny. My dad never says "You are spending too much money on healthy food." He just starts complaining about money in GENERAL"

Now let's look at your actual words, that you say I am twisting. Here is an exact copy-and-paste, no twisting:

"This last time I got off track was because I ran out of food. My dad's been making me feel guilty about any money spent lately, so I haven't asked to borrow the credit card to go shopping for food. My dad is the kind of person who will complain about being broke, but always has money for his junk food and Coke Zero. If I go a week or two without eating junk food, he'll complain more about not having money, and I'm often "cut off" from buying groceries for a week or two. During that time, I have to make due with what's around. That means a week without fruit/veggies if my unemployment check for the week is already going to pay for other expenses."

Yes, "If i go a week or two without eating junk food... i'm "cut off" from buying groceries."

Those are your words. I am twisting nothing.


Goal 1 - break 200 (46 pounds lost)**DONE**
Goal 2 - leave obesity behind (BMI 29.9, at 185#) **DONE**
Goal 3 - BMI = Normal (154# or less)


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ERICADURR
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6/25/13 2:23 P

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Coupons will not cover the cost of an entire meal. I don't know how you're getting giftcards to cover two meals out a week, but I have never gotten that many giftcards or coupons.

So, what to do when your friends and you go out during dinner time? SIMPLE: DON'T GO OUT. That's easy enough. You save money. You get home at a reasonable time in which you can make yourself some dinner. This is a choice. You are not required to go out with your friends every single week after church. It's an absolutely absurd argument.

Dinner before church ALSO is an option. Eat a very light meal at 5:00, then eat the other half when you get home.

If you eat dinner at a reasonable time for you at home, you're right: there is no point in going out at all. Honestly, if you've already eaten, why would you go out anyway? This makes no sense.

Plain and simple: you're choosing to make excuses rather than to address your health. You refuse to make healthy decisions, and no one can force you to do it. If you wanted, there are other things you can do to hang out with your friends. I invite friends over all the time and cook them dinner. I realize this may not be an option. So what? Go to the library and hang out! Go grocery shopping at Walmart, hang out and chat and laugh while getting healthy foods, and go home. Go to a local park and look at the clouds. JUST STOP EQUATING HANGING OUT WITH EATING.

BTW: Plain grilled chicken breast and broccoli are filling. The endless junk and carbs and sugars you're feeding yourself are not. I guarantee you if you sat down and ate 1000 calories worth of grilled chicken breast and broccoli like you do with junk food, you wouldn't be able to eat for hours. It's purely psychological and an excuse.

I realize some may perceive this as harsh, but it's true. You do not burn calories or build health by making excuses. You do it by making wise (and sometimes tough) decisions over the long-haul.

I blog at www.fitnessfaythe.blospot.com -- check me out! :)


HONEYLISSABEE
HONEYLISSABEE's Photo Posts: 1,173
6/25/13 2:14 P

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Eating is always going to be in my social calendar. We might decide to go to the mall and walk around, but it will be before or after dinner. Or, we'll take a trip into NYC and walk there- but there will be a couple meals, gelato, a trip to Chobani SoHo, etc.

We are working on getting more active, but we do go out during dinnertime, so we will be getting something to eat. We have gone out for walks, and we eventually want to start going to the gym together, but afterwards, we will get dinner. Eating at either one of our houses is rarely an option, and we don't want to hang out for an hour and go back home.

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ICEDEMETER
ICEDEMETER's Photo Posts: 608
6/25/13 2:06 P

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From your posts here and elsewhere, it seems as though you are in a restaurant or Starbucks multiple times each week. It also seems that you are able to somehow supply yourself with an astonishing amount of junk food. Yet, you state that you are on an extremely limited budget, and dependent on your parents to supply you with grocery money

I would strongly suggest that you look in to some economic counselling, and learn how to properly prioritize your spending, and control your budget. Once you have that under control, it should leave you with enough funds to purchase appropriate amounts of healthy groceries. Granted, it will likely limit or "deprive" you of your frequent restaurant visits and create a need to make modifications in your social life (going out with friends for free activities instead of expensive meals, for example). It will, however, give you a more solid base for when you move out on your own and give you a better ability to look after yourself in a healthful way.

Apparently you have been raised with certain attitudes towards food and money, but you are an adult now and are responsible for learning healthier attitudes for yourself. At the very least, you should learn to differentiate between "need" and "want", and learn to prioritize those in the appropriate order.



Start weight: 240 lbs
Goal weight: 155 lbs (reached March 7, 2014)

Afraid of a colonoscopy? Believe me - they are much less frightening than surgery and chemotherapy.

Colonoscopies allow polyps to be removed before they can become cancer, or let cancers be found before they are too widespread. If you are 50 or older, or have any symptoms, please don't let fear stop you from covering your butt.

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HONEYLISSABEE
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6/25/13 2:06 P

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Erica- As I said before, I almost always use coupons and giftcards to cover the cost of a meal.

What am I supposed to do when my friends and I go out during dinner time and are hungry?

After church, if I go out and don't eat, I don't get home until 10-11pm, and then I have to cook dinner, eat, and clean. At that point, I'm ravenous, and I'll eat just about anything.

And eating dinner before church isn't an option. That would mean eating dinner at 5pm which is too early, and if I get a job, that may be impossible to fit into my schedule.

If I eat dinner at a reasonable time for me at home, then there's no point in going out at all. That would mean going out at around 9pm. The malls are closed by then, and on some days, we'd only have an hour to hang out. WE GO OUT DURING DINNERTIME. Plain and simple.

I suppose I'll just stop going out with friends. I'll socialize over Facebook from now on, and eat plain grilled chicken breast and steamed broccoli (which isn't filling, by the way) at home.

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HONEYLISSABEE
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6/25/13 1:58 P

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I almost always have coupons for eating out, and when it comes to Applebee's and Cheesecake Factory my best friend usually has giftcards from his grandmother, so that cuts the cost significantly.

I feel like you are twisting my words around, Bunny. My dad never says "You are spending too much money on healthy food." He just starts complaining about money in GENERAL, so I back off. When he goes on and on complaining, it gives me panic attacks among other things, so I just don't even ask to borrow the credit card for fruit and vegetables. I just realized that he tends to do this more when people are trying to eat healthier; I did not realize this connection until recently.

I do spend my own money to supplement what my dad is willing to buy, but sometimes, I don't even have the money for that.

I love ordering from the light menus at places. Some menus are better than others. At Ihop, I like real bacon and real eggs, so I do order off the regular menu, but I substitute fruit for the hash browns. Plus, ordering from the lighter menu means there is a better chance of having veggies on the menu. I'll admit that fries are a favorite of mine, however, so I like options with 2 different sides so I can still get my fries in on occasion.

I generally only need cheese when it's a very flavorful cheese. Shredded parmesan strips on a caesar salad (especially at CPK) or feta cheese is a huge winner. If it's a meal where the flavor will be lost, there's no need. I don't order cheese on my Subway ham sandwich because I never taste it anyway. Usually "cheddar" in a restaurant is mild, flavorless cheddar anyway, so I can take it or leave it. The cheddar in the vegetable salad at Cheesecake Factory, however, is chunks of sharp, white cheddar, so I'm going to leave that in.

As far as sauces go, I can't give up hot wings with ranch dressing (though I rarely have them), and there are a couple dipping sauces I love. I don't eat mayo or ketchup though, and when it comes to dressing, I almost always order olive oil and vinegar instead of salad dressing. I'm even eager to go to Panera and try their hidden menu salads that have olive oil and lemon juice!

I may have to try the fork-dip method for salad dressing at CPK though because that's the one time I will order dressing.

Clark- I should clarify that I used to be a very skinny kid. I went to all you can eat buffets on a regular basis. I knew all the tricks to eat as much as possible (I had to get my money's worth- especially as the price rose as I got older), and I've perfected pacing myself so I can eat as much as possible without feeling overly stuffed. HOWEVER, I didn't start gaining weight until I was around 14. That's when I discovered the internet (Myspace and message boards). I also realized that I could save the $2 or so I was able to get as "lunch money" on occasion, and instead of spending it on a measly portion of bad food from the school cafeteria, I could make it stretch further and buy TWO bags of potato chips.



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ERICADURR
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6/25/13 1:56 P

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Agree with Bunny. I realize these meals don't seem like a lot of money at the time, but for the cost of these meals over a month, you could buy some great, clean, healthy, and filling meals. I know you like the social aspect, etc., but you need to find another way to socialize and start cooking and eating your food at home.

I blog at www.fitnessfaythe.blospot.com -- check me out! :)


BUNNYKICKS
BUNNYKICKS's Photo Posts: 2,173
6/25/13 1:24 P

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I find it a bit incongruous to read about how your dad won't let you buy groceries if you spend too much on healthier, non-junk-foods, alongside so many posts discussing regular restaurant meals.

You could skip steak at Applebees, and use the fifteen bucks to supply yourself with appropriate healthy food to supplement what your dad is willing to buy...........



Goal 1 - break 200 (46 pounds lost)**DONE**
Goal 2 - leave obesity behind (BMI 29.9, at 185#) **DONE**
Goal 3 - BMI = Normal (154# or less)


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LGREGG07
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6/25/13 1:20 P

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Another tip for cutting calories while eating out is that you can ask to have the sauce or dressing on the side. Then you can control how much you use. Also, skip the cheese or ask for less or ask for a substitute type of cheese, like provolone instead of cheddar for example. Or order from the "light" menu. Like at the cheesecake factory, these meals are already under a certain number of calories, so that you can still enjoy eating the full meal, but not having to worry/stress about eating 1000+ calories at once. Plus, many of those dishes have veggies as a side dish instead of fries.



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HONEYLISSABEE
HONEYLISSABEE's Photo Posts: 1,173
6/25/13 1:04 P

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Here's the thing about a veggies at a restaurant rule. It actually can make a big difference.

Say I go to Applebee's. If I have a rule to order veggies, I will more likely get the steak rather than the riblets with fries. Even if I get fries with the steak, I will be saving 300-900 calories depending on if I bring home leftovers, what size sirloin I order, and whether I'm comparing to the riblet basket or platter.

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CLARK971
CLARK971's Photo Posts: 651
6/25/13 10:22 A

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I feel bad that you are in such an unhealthy home environment regarding food. I have two children and it makes me sad that someone is affecting their child's life in a negative way with food. It is very unhealthy. it is a parent's job to take care of their child. And feeding a child junk food, all you can eat buffets, etc and allowing that child to become obese while growing up is sad. You did not have a positive role model regarding food.

It is like an alcoholic trying to get sober when living with addicts. Since there is no talking or reasoning with your dad, I hope you can find the strength to resist the daily temptations and try not to let him affect you any more.

Edited by: CLARK971 at: 6/25/2013 (11:26)

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HONEYLISSABEE
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6/25/13 9:26 A

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My best friend and I usually order different entrees, but split a dessert and appetizer. I'm ok with this though. I would rather split an entree with myself. If makes lunch planning that much easier.

I've ordered salads for dinner, but I'm not the biggest fan of a lot of restaurant salads. Besides, I can almost always find something in my calorie range if I look. I've tried eating before the restaurant, and that usually backfires. My friend runs late, we hit traffic, there's a wait. By the time we eat, it's time for my next meal, and I'm hungry again.

Most places here won't let me order from the kid's menu. I'm over the ages of 10-12. I have tried a couple times, but it's hopeless.

Most low carb sweets are artificially sweetened, and those make me sick. I cannot eat them.

And there is nothing I can do about my dad. Trust me, my mom has a bigger voice in these things, and she can't get thorough to him.

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SLIMMERKIWI
SLIMMERKIWI's Photo SparkPoints: (111,822)
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6/25/13 3:48 A



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Are you able to order a child's portion of something you like, or an entree so that temptation isn't so much in your way to clean a larger amount up? Are your friends willing to go halves in a meal? What about making a healthy sandwich and eating that just before you go, and maybe having a small salad and ask for the dressing to be on the side, and just put a little on ... IF you need a dressing. Personally, I'm not that keen on them.

IF you feel like you need to buy sweets, why not buy a zero carb packet of individually wrapped ones. There are less in them in a packet, and they are a lot less in the calorie department. I get a packet each week, there are 18 in there, and that lasts me the week - AND I share them with my grandson. 10 calories per piece.

As far as your Dad is concerned, I wouldn't mind betting he KNOWS that he should be losing weight too, but may be too afraid to try, and in the process envies that you want to. It COULD be why he is controlling in the food department. Has his Dr ever referred him to a Therapist to help him with HIS food (and other related) issues? - 3-400lb, and there definitely are those issues there. The help can be accessed for free in a lot of cases - you just have to know how to go about it.

Kris

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HONEYLISSABEE
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6/25/13 3:05 A

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So far, making small changes is motivating me in the right direction. I think I am going to just continue to add a new challenge every week or two. Next week is about eliminating chips and sweets at home. I'm also going to set a goal to have vegetables or fruit when eating out. Even if it's just a Caesar side salad with my sandwich at Houluhans or ordering smashed pea and barley soup at CPK. My idea is to gradually add different things to my menu, so I can't eat as much junk. I'm also going to start requesting thin crust pizzas there, and I'll start putting half of my portion (1/4 of the pie) aside for lunch the next day. I'm planning on doing that with some or all of most meals (some things don't keep well overnight).

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ERICADURR
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6/25/13 12:13 A

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That's because sometimes, you just have to do it. And yes, you might fall off the wagon, but you get back on that damn wagon and keep on. You don't use one day's failure to completely leave the wagon behind. The point is that you spend more time talking about setting goals than actually working toward obtaining them. Failure doesn't mean failing for one day. It means failing to keep trying. And if you give up every time you suffer a bump in the road, then you're NEVER going to get there. You just have to take the good with the bad, and JUST DO IT.

I blog at www.fitnessfaythe.blospot.com -- check me out! :)


HONEYLISSABEE
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6/24/13 11:55 P

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Actually, I don't eat outside the home every day, so that is incorrect. I also don't get dessert every time I eat out. Most times, I do, but it isn't every time. You'll never see me get dessert at Ruby Tuesday, for example (though I will admit, that makes it more likely to be a froyo night).

Besides, this week I'm not making any major changes to my diet. I know I am, in part, putting things off. However, I want to get a clear idea of how much I need to cut back on my calories. If I'm eating an average of 1,000 more than I should, then I might need to bring my caloric intake down more slowly than if I'm eating 400 over.

I'm not trying to exercise all of my excess calories away. I'm just tracking my calorie goals based on the idea that weight loss comes down to eating less than you burn. I figure I will burn a little more and eat a little less to reach my goals. I'm just putting a little more effort into activity week one because I'm more motivated in that department.

Starting Friday, I'm cutting store bought sweets from my diet (snack cakes) and my barbecue chips. I'm going to see how long I can go without them. I'm preparing ideas for healthier swaps to wean me off. I might not cut a drastic amount of calories from the chips right away, but I should be cutting back a little at least, and triscuits with a dip made of Greek yogurt and ranch dressing mix is certainly a better choice than those chips.

You say "just do it," but that has been my approach in the past. I've jumped into diet plans and failed miserably. Now, I'm giving smaller goals another go around. I'm just having trouble finding balance between goals that are too small to make a difference, and goals that are too big to keep.

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ERICADURR
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6/24/13 11:00 P

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It seems like you eat at least one meal outside of your home per day anyways. Which means you're having dessert every single day. You've got to stop consuming 1000 calories per meal and thinking you can "exercise" it away. It's disordered thinking and leads to your binge/purge cycle.

Stop making "goals." Stop making excuses. Just do it.

I blog at www.fitnessfaythe.blospot.com -- check me out! :)


HONEYLISSABEE
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6/24/13 6:10 P

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I apologize, Bunny. There was a miscommunication on my part. The starving/binge-diet cycle was with following Weight Watchers or Spark ranges. Actually, I decided to switch to the TDEE-20% method after one of my binges. I was up 4 pounds when I started. A week later, I lost that weight and THEN a little more. Previously, it would have taken me weeks to lose that weight. It just happened that we ran out of groceries the following week, and with my dad complaining about being broke, I told him that I'd be able to live without fruit or vegetables for another week or two.

The Monkey bread was actually on sale for around $2, not $4-5, and I actually ate it slowly over the course of several hours. It was just easier to track it in one place. I know eating the entire pan was too much. It wasn't even as good as the monkey bread at this one restaurant in a nearby town, but I was thinking it would be, and once I started, I was unable to stop. I honestly did put it away for a little while. I had every intention of saving some for later, but the road to Hell is paved with good intentions. I ended up reheating it and eating the whole thing in one day.

Talking to my dad won't work. I've tried. My entire family is obese. At 190 pounds, I'm the thinnest in the family. My dad is the kind of person who gets resentful if my mom or I start eating healthier. He'll make rude remarks on us not being allowed to eat pizza because we are "dieting" or he'll suddenly decide to complain about money whenever I want to go pick up some produce. Usually, I just give up trying to lose weight until he's calmed down, but the cycle tends to repeat itself. I actually do have a little bit of healthy food (some Pictsweet vegetables and Chobani), and my mom wants to get some healthy groceries this week, which should help me out immensely. I'm just, personally, running on a very tight budget for the next few days. I'm waiting for my next unemployment check, and my car needs gas.

My dad is probably 300-400 pounds at the very least (he won't step on a scale). He is on blood pressure medication and uses a machine for his sleep apnea. Still, he has no desire to make any changes regarding his own health/weight- and he doesn't want anyone else to make changes either. My dad really isn't one who can be reasoned with, but since I don't have the means to live by myself, I'm stuck here.

Kiwi- I feel like you're telling me that you can't eat junk food and lose weight. I'm not sure agree with you. I am, however, aware that I, personally, may not be able to eat junk food in multi-serving containers and lose weight.

In all honesty, I really have been thinking about cutting out sweets. Then, I get into the "buts" of it. "But my Birthday is Saturday." "But what if we go here tomorrow?"

When I cut out soda, it was more of a "hey, let's see how long I can do this" thing. When I cut out other liquid calories, I originally decided to cut them out except for special occasions like going to Starbucks with someone other than my best friend. When one of those special occasions came up, I decided to order an unsweetened iced tea and challenged myself to go a year without liquid calories. That year ended on January 2, 2012, and I'm still going strong. Once I started going, I didn't want to break the streak.

Still, cutting out all sweets isn't realistic for me. However, I can see how long I can go without bringing pre-packaged sweets home. This includes snack cakes, cookies, monkey bread, etc I'll stick with fruit and yogurt when I want something sweet (though, I'm debating whether to include Kashi Crispy bars in this list of food to avoid. Probably). The one thing that will be tough is my new love of Oreos dipped in milk, but I'll be ok for a little while without those.

I'll still eat dessert, but I'll limit it to eating outside of the home.

The chips will be harder to do without. I've already limited myself to two brands of chips, but it's not enough. I need to get myself off them because I can't control my portions. I just can't find a good swap that works for me. Because chips are the first thing I go for when I feel a binge coming on.



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CLARK971
CLARK971's Photo Posts: 651
6/24/13 5:02 P

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Bunnykicks and kiwi have some really great advice.

You are very young and have been struggling with your weight for a while. If your parents are unwilling to give you the support you need, I am guessing there have been unhealthy food issues at your house for quite awhile. Have you talked your family about wanting to get healthy and how you think their actions are hurting you? If you can't talk to them, is their a counselor or someone at church you can talk to?

Maybe if your doctor told your parents you need to lose weight, they would be more willing to help.

Good luck.



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LGREGG07
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6/24/13 4:48 P

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Have you tried explaining to your dad that you are trying to eat healthier and want to get more fruit, veggies, etc. at the store? Maybe if you explain it to him, he might be more willing to allow you to borrow his card to get the groceries that will help with your weight loss goals. I just recently started explaining to my parents that I am trying to lose some weight and they have been supportive of me and try to help me stay on my goals (even though they buy crackers, ice cream, and other unhealthy foods that I enjoy).

It's time to stop making excuses, though. If you want someone (outside your family) to help you, I will do my best to help, but you have to be READY for help. If you are willing to take my advice and actually try it (for more than 1 or 2 days and then say it doesn't work for you (I've been there, done that, and it just made me look stupid)), then I am willing to work with you and help you. Hey, it might even help me to stay on track too.



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SLIMMERKIWI
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6/24/13 4:05 P



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I would respectfully suggest to you that you literally "want your cake and eat it too!!!"

IF you genuinely want to lose weight, then there has to be give and take. You want the weight-loss, but the fact of the matter is, you just AREN'T prepared to make the effort to do something about it. "Want" isn't what loses the weight - "EFFORT" is what does it!!

You want you cake; you want your junk food - then be honest with yourself and admit that you aren't prepared to do the work to lose the weight!

It DOES take SOME work, but it needn't be as hard as you think! It comes down to calories in versus calories out - pure and simple. It doesn't matter how much exercise you do, it STILL comes down to food. It is your choice - eat sensibly and wisely, or eat the crap and continue being overweight!

Kris

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BUNNYKICKS
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6/24/13 3:51 P

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"I don't follow Spark ranges. I focus on eating 20% fewer calories than I burn. That's the one method that has never made me feel like I'm starving."

(30 minutes later)

"I'll lose maybe a pound one week. The, the next week, I'll lose nothing or even gain because I'm so freaking hungry that I can't take it anymore, and I have to eat."

------------------

Ok so wait In the first post you say this eating-20%-less idea of yours is the one method that never leaves you feeling starved. A couple posts later, you admit that this method does not result in weight loss because it leaves you "so freaking hungry." Which is quite the opposite of "never leaving you feeling starved."

And uhm. Ok. So your dad is totally cool with you eating a full pan (8 servings, 1600 calories) of Monkey Bread ($4-$5) in one sitting and calling it lunch, but would rage and cut you off your food allowance if you had a serving of yogurt and some fruit instead (which would come to much less than $4-$5 bucks)? Gosh, if you were low on food and had nothing to eat but Monkey Bread and no money to buy anything more.... - you might have tried spreading it out over 4 meals.

Goal 1 - break 200 (46 pounds lost)**DONE**
Goal 2 - leave obesity behind (BMI 29.9, at 185#) **DONE**
Goal 3 - BMI = Normal (154# or less)


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HONEYLISSABEE
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6/24/13 3:27 P

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Bunny- I'll lose maybe a pound one week. The, the next week, I'll lose nothing or even gain because I'm so freaking hungry that I can't take it anymore, and I have to eat. When I eat too little I go on a binge/diet cycle.

This last time I got off track was because I ran out of food. My dad's been making me feel guilty about any money spent lately, so I haven't asked to borrow the credit card to go shopping for food. My dad is the kind of person who will complain about being broke, but always has money for his junk food and Coke Zero. If I go a week or two without eating junk food, he'll complain more about not having money, and I'm often "cut off" from buying groceries for a week or two. During that time, I have to make due with what's around. That means a week without fruit/veggies if my unemployment check for the week is already going to pay for other expenses.

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HONEYLISSABEE
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6/24/13 2:31 P

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I've tried eating smaller meals. It doesn't work for me.

I've also gone days eating almost no processed foods (aside from veggie burgers and flavored Chobani). However, eventually I run out of food and money to buy food, and I'm stuck with the junk food my dad buys (the healthier I try to eat, the more he buys).

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LGREGG07
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6/24/13 1:46 P

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If you can't find a way to stop cold turkey then you need to stop making excuses for yourself and make the effort to change, meal by meal. Make it a RULE not a goal to have at least one meal a day 100% healthy (no processed food or junk food) and build from there. You can only change your body if you are willing to make the changes and get self-control, which I know is very difficult, but you can do it if you put the effort in. Also, another way to feel as though you aren't starving while on your weight loss journey is to eat smaller meals through out the day. Have you considered trying that?



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BUNNYKICKS
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6/24/13 1:30 P

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"That's the one method that has never made me feel like I'm starving."

Has it resulted in weight loss?

Goal 1 - break 200 (46 pounds lost)**DONE**
Goal 2 - leave obesity behind (BMI 29.9, at 185#) **DONE**
Goal 3 - BMI = Normal (154# or less)


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HONEYLISSABEE
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6/24/13 1:23 P

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Do you know what happens every time I cut out junk food cold turkey? I binge, so obviously that doesn't work.

I don't follow Spark ranges. I focus on eating 20% fewer calories than I burn. That's the one method that has never made me feel like I'm starving.

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LADYSTARWIND
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6/24/13 12:47 P

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"Right now, I'm eating a net of 2100-2700 calories (that's the calories consumed minus calories burned). I should be eating a net of around 1600."

If you are already subtracting your "exercise calories"...then you are consuming in excess of 3000 calories a day!!! WHAT IS THE RANGE SPARK GIVES YOU??!!

If you "know" you should be eating around 1600....and you "want" a middle ground, then choose to eat a TOTAL ---not a "net"--a TOTAL of LESS THAN 2000. Then you will start losing weight! The Math cannot be changed: calories in...calories out equals weight loss or weight gain....!!!

You need to stop complaining and figuring out and rationalizing that you simply "can't give up this or that"...No more "I'm eventually", I'm apprehensive" "I plan to" "It isn't worth it". Take Nike's Logo: JUST DO IT and Hit The Trail!!
YOUR CHOICE....Your Consequence...(and that's another of Life's Laws that can't be changed.)

Edited by: LADYSTARWIND at: 6/24/2013 (12:51)
"Its not the Mountain ahead that wears you out, but the grain of sand in your shoe..."


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LGREGG07
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6/24/13 12:22 P

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You have to do what is right for your lifestyle, but eventually you will have to take the time to prepare better meals for yourself. I'm sorry if I come off sounding rude or mean or anything, but I want you to be able to reach your goals and be proud of yourself. Sometimes starting "cold turkey" helps to kick start your lifestyle changes. Throw out the junk and eat the foods you know you should be eating. You will find that you can eat more and more often (which is better for your metabolism) if you cut out all the processed foods. I think that sometimes we hide behind tracking for awareness instead of diving right in to get started. Using your hiking analogy, you are sitting in your car looking at your map instead of getting out and climbing that trail. Just do it! Again, I apologize if I come acrioss as rude, but I have been in your shoes time and time again and I think that you just need to get started!




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HONEYLISSABEE
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6/24/13 12:03 P

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I took a peek at your My Fitness Pal food journal and I would recommend that you try and eat more protein and less processed sugars/carbs. It will help you feel fuller longer and help to build lean muscles (and aid with muscle recovery after workouts).

- I definitely know I eat a lot of junk. Part of it is laziness on my part. Face it. A bag of chips is easier to prepare than frozen chicken breasts. I'm definitely going to make some changes, but this week is more about building awareness so I know how big of a change I need to make.

I have considered the switch to 2% milk, but it does make me a bit apprehensive. Besides, there's only a 10 calorie difference. It hardly seems worth it for 10 calories.

I'm going to eventually swap out my usual sweets/desserts at home for fruit. I figure an entire bag of frozen cherries at Target is lower in calories than 2 Zebra cakes (1 twin pack).

I have done a lot of research on what does and doesn't work for me. I love this method where my calorie goals can increase if I'm more active. I know I've had plenty of days where I've been up on my feet walking in place because I overate a little (or a lot) at dinner. Being able to make steps to undo the damage and get myself out of the red does help me. Plus, knowing that if I don't move, I'll have to limit myself to 1,600 calories a day is another motivator. Eating over 2,000 is a nice treat.

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MARIAS2011
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6/24/13 11:56 A

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Snacking is a huge problem for me too. I try not to keep any trigger foods in the house; instead, try to keep cottage cheese or yogurt around for snacks. If you can just switch a couple of snack items around, it makes a difference. Also, keep logging in everything you eat because it can identify your pitfalls.



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LGREGG07
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6/24/13 11:42 A

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I took a peek at your My Fitness Pal food journal and I would recommend that you try and eat more protein and less processed sugars/carbs. It will help you feel fuller longer and help to build lean muscles (and aid with muscle recovery after workouts). Try to make a good effort to fit in more fruits and veggies and fiber in your meals/snacks (maybe try swapping one snack to a veg of your choice at least 1x a week?). Also, since you like to drink whole milk, why not try 2%? That's one way to cut back on calories without sacrificing your glass of milk.
I have had my fair share of diet struggles over the years and am making an effort to track everything accurately again. I'm still not happy with my progress either, but I am back with a ton more research/knowledge about what works and doesn't work for me. It is all about baby steps as people have said. Dieting is different for everyone, but sometimes you just have to dive right in and stick with it! You CAN and WILL do it (:



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HONEYLISSABEE
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6/24/13 10:07 A

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Right now, I'm eating a net of 2100-2700 calories (that's the calories consumed minus calories burned). I should be eating a net of around 1600.

I know that climbing down gradually will be a slow process and jumping down is a recipe for disaster. I wish there was a middle-of-the-line option.

If I still drank soda, I know I'd be able to cut out hundreds of calories a day by cutting out soda, juice, slurpees, milkshakes, frappucinos, and the like. However, I already cut all those out years ago. The only liquid calories I consume are whole milk on occasion (which I'm not willing to change) and a couple times a year, I'll have a decaf iced coffee with vanilla soy milk.

I'm not sure of anything that I'd be willing to eliminate from my current diet though. I suppose I'd be ok to eliminate snack cakes and other sweets at home- just sticking to dessert when eating out (I split dessert when eating out, but at home, I'll eat an entire box of Zebra Cakes). However, I'm not willing to give up Oreos (regular, not double stuffed)- not that I have them often, and I can stick to the smaller sleeves rather than a larger box.

Any other ideas for simple changes- eliminations or swaps- that can help me cut calories without feeling deprived? I may not be able to handle cutting out barbecue chips, but I think I can deal with swapping chips for pretzels most of the time.Though, that one change alone doesn't seem very significant.

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HONEYLISSABEE
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6/23/13 8:54 P

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I have 8.5 inch plates that use for meals (though, I do use my huge dinner plate for salads). I rarely, if ever, use big plates for meals, but that hasn't made too much of a difference for me weight-loss wise on its own. I also have a scale and when I'm counting calories, I weigh every single thing.



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KIM___
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6/23/13 6:52 P

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I've found making 'new habits' or little changes help a lot.
I don't eat while reading
I don't eat while on the computer
I don't eat while cross-stitching (a hobby)

I also bought cheap K-mart seasonal plates (off-season) that were smaller than regular plates. A serving size on these plates/bowls actually looks like a serving size.

I have a kitchen scale (around $20 on amazon, look for good reviews) that I measure things on to get a realistic idea of serving sizes. I've done it so much now I only use it for foods that I haven't had before or forgot what a serving looks like.

Making a few rules, one a week, eases you into a healthy lifestyle. I made those rules years ago and now they're such a habit I still follow them.

Good luck! Remember Baby Steps are easier to integrate into your life.

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HONEYLISSABEE
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6/23/13 4:01 P

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I signed up in 2009 after I realized I was old enough for the real Spark site (I was on SparkTeen before). Thing is, I've gotten on several wrong trails. Some have lead to dead ends. Others, I learned I wasn't equipped to handle some of the obstacles. Lately, I've been researching the right trail for me, but part of me is circling around looking for the entrance, but another part is unsure I'm even prepared.

For me, my path is eating a 20% reduction of my TDEE and exercising regularly. Driving around looking for the parking lot is me making these little changes like eating 3 colors of produce a day. It's trying to figure out how to get from where I am now to being on my way on the path- in a safe manner so I don't lose my way and wander back to the beginning.

Edited by: HONEYLISSABEE at: 6/23/2013 (16:06)
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LADYSTARWIND
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6/23/13 3:52 P

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Nice image since I love hiking.

The only problem dear is that according to your Spark Page, you have been circling your car, and/or getting lost on side trails since 2009!!

You need to decide on 2 or 3 simple, concrete goals....and hit the Trail!
You've been doing this long enough that you Have the Knowledge you Need (your Map!!) and the Energy (your basic health!) Stop planning, and start hiking! Life is not getting any longer, and This is Not a Dress Rehersal. Its one long journey, and you decide where you will go.

The view from the end is really great--Go For It!!
patti


Edited by: LADYSTARWIND at: 6/23/2013 (15:56)
"Its not the Mountain ahead that wears you out, but the grain of sand in your shoe..."


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HONEYLISSABEE
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6/23/13 3:33 P

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This is the way I picture it.

Imagine your weight loss journey is a hike. I know where I'm starting, where I'm finished, and what path to take. I also know that there will be ups and downs, times I may trail off the path, and chances to explore other paths on my way to my final destination.

Right now, I'm circling around in my car trying to figure out where the entrance to the parking lot is located.

Does that make any sense?

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HONEYLISSABEE
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6/23/13 1:07 P

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I do have a reason for my 10,000 step rule. If I set a goal to just exercise 10 minutes a day, that is all I will do. My 10,000 step rule keeps me from sitting around all day.

I certainly agree that my 10,000 steps can be counted as exercise. However, when I was employed I would hit that goal just working. I also want to increase my fitness level and add in strength training.

This isn't 10,000 steps excluding my workout steps. If I am having a low step day, I will probably select more step oriented wii fit activities.

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ANNROW0354
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6/23/13 11:51 A

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I think everyone who has ever "dieted" is afraid of crashing and burning when they begin a new eating program. The one thing I have learned after years of yo-yo dieting is that no one plan fits everyone's lifestyle. You have to find what works best for you. I have gone back and forth on the importance of tracking what I eat but if I am truly honest with myself I know that it keeps me accountable to MYSELF. I can't pretend that I didn't eat that much if it is right in front of me on paper (or a computer). Your exercise goals are very ambitious and I'd like to say that if you can get in 10,000 steps/day without considering it "exercise", than you are a better person than me. I walk at a 3.3-3.5 mph speed and that is only about 7000 steps/hour.
Don't worry so much about setting so many goals and concentrate on the positive changes to your diet and physical activity program that you have set for yourself. You will know when you are ready to add additional changes and pretty soon those small changes will bring big results.

Good luck!

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HONEYLISSABEE
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6/23/13 7:24 A

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Kiwi- Trust me, I know that exercise will not make up for a cruddy diet. However, I also know that I'm more emotionally ready for fitness goals since I haven't been trying and failing on those.

Besides, when I start working out and watching what I eat, I'm more likely to make better choices because I don't want to undo my hard work.

Part of me wants to jump back into staying in my calorie range, but I'm a little afraid of not being a me to do it again. I've already decided, at least for now, my goal will be to stay in my calorie range 5-6 days per week or around 80% of the time.

I'm just afraid that the small changes I'm making won't be enough, but the bigger changes will be too much.

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SLIMMERKIWI
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6/23/13 3:22 A



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I think you are jumping into the 28 day boot camp far too soon! It will come back and bite you in the butt!

BABY steps are what you need. You might exercise your butt off in the boot camp, BUT that isn't going to make up for a cruddy diet. THAT is where you need to be focusing now. And yes, I acknowledge that you have made inroads in that department, but you still have plenty of work there - don't go putting even more pressure on you. MOST of weight loss comes from the nutrition!

Kris

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HONEYLISSABEE
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6/22/13 9:32 P

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I've been giving small changes another try, and so far, they're going well. Right now, my goals are just to walk 10,000 steps a day, exercise for 10 minutes, eat 3 different colors of produce, and track my intake.

After seeing how much I've been eating, part of me wants to jump back into full-diet mode. However, that has never worked for me. I always end up doing so well- for a short while at least. Then, I crash and burn.

So, I thought gradual changes would work well, but I'm also a bit impatient. I've decided to jump in and start the Sparkpeople 28 Day Bootcamp next Friday (with a Walk Away the Pounds video on cross-training days).

I've considered several ideas to cut calories. Unfortunately, I cut out soda ages ago, so I can't try that clever calorie-cutting trick. The only liquid calories I drink come from whole milk, and I'm not willing to give that up.

I know my biggest vice is junk food. I've tried going cold-turkey on it, but that doesn't fare well in the end. I've cut back a lot, but I still eat way too much junk and not enough real food. I've considered setting a goal where one meal a day, to start, needs to be on the healthy side. That means, if I'm not eating well in the morning, and we go to Cheesecake factory at night, I'm ordering off the SkinnyLicious Menu. Still, cutting back calories on one meal won't be enough. I've also considered other goals: eating a yogurt every day, making sure there is a fruit/veggie with every meal, and just drinking more water.

I'm a bit of a perfectionist, however. I do things in an all or nothing fashion. I either need to be perfectly good, or I'm a disaster. I'm trying to overcome that, but it's hard. Due to my need to take things slowly, but my desire to jump all-into a diet, I've set up a reward system that allows me to earn stickers for completing my goals. I'm only allowed to earn a daily sticker on my reward chart if I reach all goals. I know that if I'm unable to reach a goal one day, it won't ruin me, but I still can't handle that.

I've considered an idea for some diet goals like cutting out certain foods (like fries, potato chips, and other fried foods), or staying in my calorie range. I may allow myself to earn daily credit for up to 2 days per week that I don't reach those goals. This will allow me to get used to practicing moderation and following an 80/20 rule. Of course, some rules (like water and 3 colors of produce) will be daily goals. Staying in my calorie range, however, may be a rule that I only need to do 5 or days a week to stay on track. Heck, maybe I'll start with one day and work my way up from there.

Any ideas?

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