You have already figured out the most important thing... what is done is done. This is what I would tell one of my daughters if they came to me with these concerns... how is this making you feel? Were you really "depriving" yourself of something good if it makes you feel this bad. Perhaps the deprivation was really during the binge! You deprived yourself of feeling good about your choices. Which feels better, the taste of the candy or the feeling of self control?
It's a long time before we have another holiday. This one was a learning experience for you. Since you know they won't eat until 9pm and you are likely to want to snack, what kind of snacks could you bring along that will help you make it until 9pm?
Don't beat yourself up about this, just learn from it and know that you have gained some very important knowledge about yourself and what you need to do to stay on track. Also, if you stay on track, the weight and inches will come off. You don't have to exercise 90 minutes a day to do that.
This is a marathon, not a sprint. Just keep going. You are doing great. Don't let fear sabatage you. YOU are in control of what you do. YOU are the boss of you. YOU are fully equipped to do the things that will give your body the best nutrition and proper body maintenance through exercise.
Whether or not cancer returns, you can have the satisfaction of knowing that you have done everything you possibly can to take the very best care of your body. You know that if you keep a positive attitude, make healthy food choices and exercise, your cancer likelihood goes down. That is the only bit of control we have over that worrisome issue.
You have made the choice to take good care of your body. That is why you joined Spark. Just get through today, following the plan. Jesus gave us some good advice when he told us to live each day for that day. Don't worry about tomorrow because tomorrow will have its own worries. For today, just focus on the good things your are doing for yourself. You are taking care of the things that are within your control. That is all you can do. Round belly or flat belly doesn't matter so much as a healthy belly and knowing you have done everything you can to take good care of your body. You are doing that. Feel good about it.
You should also feel good about reaching out for support when you need it. I hope this and the wisdom shared by the other folks that responded helps you get past this hurdle.
I am thankful.
| current weight: 165.8