I'm on my fourth day of trying to lose weight and trying to eat better. I faired well, fought fast food and other food cravings hard as heck, and then today hits.
Breakfast started out fine. Had my coffee, two pieces of protein bread toast with one tablespoon of jelly (total for both pieces), and downed my water. Then lunch hit.
I had a burrito the size of a baby's head.
Granted, it had black beans and vegetables in the middle, but it also had cheese, red sauce, rice, guacamole, and sour cream on the outside.
I also had two gummi worms, a cookie with a crap ton of frosting (is that an actual measurement, "crap ton" ?) a mini muffin, and a diet soda.
This isn't the first time I have tried to make a lifestyle change and was de-railed within the first week. It makes me so angry and so sad. I feel weak. I feel like no matter what I do to try to start over, I can't get things to where they need to be!
The past few months have been like this - I start, then a day or two later, I lose momentum and then say forget it. Or, I go to start and my mom does the mom thing and tries to feed me (yes, I still live with my mother at 26). It drives me up a wall.
I need to have better control of myself, I get that, but I get so freaking frustrated. Has anyone else run into this? Do you have tips to stay focused? I can't afford to stop trying one more time for something like this, but I feel like I'm just not able to get past it.
How do I get past the awful feelings and copious amount of guilt / self-loathing that come with overeating?
The vent is over, thank you for reading. Tomorrow's a new day; all I can do is hope for better...
| current weight: 194.4