Hi DANCINGLADY4 - it sounds to me like you both might benefit from relationship counseling. You both need to be able to work things out in a safe environment and this is where a counselor comes in very handy. If voices start to get a bit raised or insults start, they are very good at steering the conversation back to the issues.
Does your husband have worries, e.g. work? financial? health? Maybe it may be worth HIM having a medical to see that everything is as it should be. Do YOU have worries that could be contributing to the issue? A medical might be beneficial for you, too!
My husband always complained that I was bitching at him and "KNEW" what I was thinking, bit I was just talking to him how I normally spoke to anyone else, and as far as my 'thinking' was concerned, he was more often than not waaaaayyy off base! I think it might be a 'men' thing :-(
As far as your son is concerned, do you like him to shower EVERY day? If so, what would happen if he showered every second day, or 3 times a week (unless he has been playing and got obviously grubby.) Of course, that doesn't mean not having a wash! A lot of people don't/can't shower every day - I am one! The reason is because my skin is extremely dry and the frequent showering makes it worse, even with moisturizer. and it leads to painful rashes. Our Public Health provide caregivers for personal cares including showers to the elderly. for those who NEED the assistance. Generally it is only 1-3 showers per week, and that is when there is often bladder/bowel leakage. Worse problems then they can generally get more frequent showers.
Where it comes to enforcing your wishes, pick them wisely. Be prepared for give and take. To discover whether it is worth standing your ground ask yourself this: "What would happen if I let it go?" (give in) If the answer is nothing, then let it go! Even tho' they are our children, we don't have to be totally 'boss' to them. I always encouraged my children to use their brains and analyze things themselves. That way they learned independence at a young age, and I knew that I could trust them to make good decisions.
Even tho' this may not be what you were hoping to hear, I hope that it helps!
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