I am really sorry to hear that you have lost a loved family member. Our dogs are part of us just as our children are. Grief is understandable and affects us in many ways. Don't worry about the why's and wherefores of your weight loss/gain, because that is quite natural at a time like this. At the moment it is a matter of finding something that you can do that you can enjoy.
It may seem crazy but the bulk of my exercise is actually putting my groceries and laundry away one at a time. Today I got a lot of groceries and bringing them in from the car in light-weight bags, and then putting them all away one at a time, I managed a total of 46 minutes fairly brisk walk. That is more than I would normally get with that. The laundry can clock up a bit of time, too. The beauty of this is that it doesn't seem like work, but it doesn't seem like exercise. It MAY be an option for you while you are sorting out what you would like to do.
Start on track with your nutrition again, too. Be aware of your portion sizes and limit the processed carbs and fattier types of treats to very occasionally. Include plenty of fruit and veges and quality protein, along with some nuts/grains, and you may find that your weight starts to turn around.
You WILL get to your goal weight - you must have faith in yourself!
We had 2 German Shepherds - both pedigrees. One was short-haired and the other long-haired. We also had a Doberman/Greyhound. All three died of cancer. We have a real litter bitser now - I THINK that the bulk of her breed is Border Collie. She is only little (fully grown). She was born with one eye and no tail, but is absolutely beautiful. She even sleeps on our bed, snuggling up on a cold night -)
| current weight: 151.0