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Gaining weight back - mad at myself



 
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EDEACONTX
EDEACONTX's Photo Posts: 736
4/29/14 1:39 P

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I've been there too, actually I'm here right now. I lost about 20lbs, but life got overwhelming, school, work, kid etc, all the excuses in the world. I stopped working out and watching what I ate. I got on the scale and I gained all my weight I had lost plus some. I was devastated. This was 9 days ago. I finally said enough is enough. I have now gone nine days without soda. Ive started exercising again, Ive been doing at least 2 miles a day. My fiancÚ and son are even on board and started walking with me. Ive turned my frustration and disappointment into something positive. I've stopped "dieting" and I'm actually trying to change my lifestyle. I'm not depriving myself but eating in moderation. Nine days in and still going strong.
It's not easy but you can do it....EVERY ONE OF YALL can it....because we're strong, and this is what WE want.
Don't be too hard on yourself :)



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NOGOINGBACKNOW
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4/29/14 12:56 P

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I feel like I have been yo-yo-Ing back and forth in weight for about ten years. And after losing a significant amount of weight just to gain it back really helped me to realize that I need to worry less about loving the scale and caring about what it tells me, and focusing more on what my body craves, loves, and needs.
Let go of those feelings of disappointment and guilt and unworthiness and replace them with feelings of love, compassion, and acceptance of yourself.
Staying motivated is usually why I end up quitting. Motivation comes from everywhere though...from those dogs that need a walk, to the kids who wanna ride bikes, to the vision board you could make. But the biggest asset that you have is this site. Post a blog working through your feelings, look at success stories, make and calculate the calories of your meal plan for the week, then make a grocery list. At the very least, promise yourself you will do ten minutes of cardio a day. Make it different and run everyday! And I bet you will spend more than ten minutes on cardio once you get started (:
Lastly, when I'm super desperate I pull out The Spark and read it!



VEG_GIRL04
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4/29/14 11:17 A

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I'm so happy you posted this thread. It's easy to see we have all been there or are all there now. Last June I was happily weighing in at around 130 lbs. Tomorrow morning I will be weighing in for the first time in probably 6 months. And I'm afraid but ready. I know it will be north of 140 lbs. I started last January at 153 lbs...I'm really hoping I'm not there again.

BUT we are not alone. This thread is proof. These people on this board, including you, have had the strength to lose once - or twice or twenty times if that's what it takes. You still have that strength to do it again.

Today my pants feel tight. But not as tight as when I started back on spark last Wed. Let any little progress be your inspiration!

"If you're going through hell, keep going!" - Winston Churchill


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BOATBODY82
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4/29/14 10:18 A

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I am finding myself in the same situation. I was down to 145 and now have creeped back up to 164!. I have NOT worked out at all in 3 months!!. I have been eating whatever I want. I have had some recent stress in my life which has contributed. I am now focused on getting back on track. I have dealt with the stress that was causing me to give up. I started back yesterday. I am logging all my food intake and starting to walk again during my lunch break. We can DO This!!! I am taking it one day @ a time. Don't be too hard on yourself, its a lifelong journey & there are going to be ups & downs along the way. emoticon



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CALLMECARRIE
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4/28/14 3:55 P

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I'm 5' 4" and I got up to 285 pounds sometime in the winter of 2010. In January of 2012 I had a health scare and got serious about weight-loss, and lost 110 pounds. Then, sometime around last August, I got really busy and stopped tracking my calories. I wanted to indulge a little over the holidays -- and I made the holidays stretch from my anniversary in late August to New Year's Day in January. I gained 35 pounds in about 5 months. It was embarrassing for me to come back to Spark and say "I gained a bunch of weight."

emoticon

On January 6th I picked myself up and went back to my own little weight-loss "boot camp." Now I'm almost back to where I was, and as of today I've lost 108 pounds from that high point in 2010.

I keep coming back to the fact that weight loss is, at base, a big math problem. Figure out how many calories it takes to maintain your current weight, and eat less than that. If you consistently burn more than you take in, you will lose weight. Of course the devil is in the details, but if you get that basic equation figured out, it can't not work.

One big advantage we have now is that we know how to do it. We know it's possible. I used to think I couldn't lose weight. To my amazement, that isn't the case.

Beating ourselves up isn't productive. The only thing we can do is get busy and try to keep a positive attitude.

"I owe everything you see here to spaghetti."

-Sophia Loren


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STARDUST2K4
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4/28/14 2:42 P

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You're definitely not alone! I started at 330 pounds and hovered around 255-60 for almost 3 years. Fast forward to now, and here I am sitting at 300 pounds again. Am I frustrated? Absolutely. Am I mad at myself? Not anymore...I was for a very long time-especially when I realized that I could see the weight gain in my face, and that the pants that I was wearing no longer fit-I have to wear size 20 pants again from the 16 I had been wearing about a year ago! So frustrating!

I seriously sometimes feel like the weight regain process has the same steps as the grieving process....There's denial and isolation: "no, my pants are fine...they fit, I Just washed them and that's why they're too tight" or "It's my TOM. They're fine" or how about "I'm eating the same amount as I was before I don't need to track it..." followed by solitary binging episodes
then there's Anger: "Darn it my OTHER pants don't fit either! Now my clothes don't fall on me the same way that they used to! Why is NOTHING FITTING RIGHT!? I am SO MAD at myself right now!"
Then, there's Bargaining: "Maybe if I just don't eat for like, 12 hours or if I do some extreme diet, I'll get back down to where I was! yeah, that's it! If that doesn't work, I'll completely cut a food group from my diet! That will 'kick start' my weight loss! " or "I'll just do the exact same exercise routing I was doing before (even though the old routine was a daily 3 mile jog and it's much tougher now with a little extra weight) it will shred calories and I'll be back to where I was in no time (it won't work, and it never does, TRUST me)!
After bargaining comes Depression: "I hate clothes shopping...I don't want to exercise, what's the point? I have so much more weigh to lose now that I've screwed up....Why bother? I'll just eat whatever I want...I don't care anymore. I don't have to look nice or take care of myself. I'm destined to be 'X' weight and 'X' size"
Then, after all of that, Acceptance: "Okay....I've gained weight. It happens. It's okay. I know what to do, I just have to do what I was doing-start slow, and working my way back up" (this is the stage I just realized I was in today.)

I of course am not trivializing death in any way. I have lost family members and it's very sad, but my point is that this is still a loss happening. In my case, it was the loss of my pride. I was an example for others! I had lost almost 100 pounds at one point! I said almost 3 years ago that I would NEVER see this weight again, yet here I am.

So, if you think no one else understands, know that people on this site definitely do.


Don't ever let anyone else tell you who you can be



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MARTHA324
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4/28/14 2:37 P

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Kudos to you on the initial weight loss and big kudos emoticon for catching the weight gain before you gained it all back and then some! Very smart to reach out for help now to get yourself back on track.
Don't know where you live, but in many parts of the country this was a brutal winter and now with spring time to get back on track.

one piece of advice that has worked for me is to stop dieting. Doesn't mean that I don't pay attention...I do. But nothing is off limits so no guilt or getting mad if I have dessert or French fries. I aim to eat real food, less of of it, and more plants. I track everything and choose to eat healthy most of the time. I get in my 10,000 steps at least 6 days/week and get to the gym 3 days/week for cardio and weights. Love yoga and Pilates and will get in one class or the other most week.

You can do this! emoticon Please don't be mad at yourself.



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LUCKYDINK7
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4/28/14 1:43 P

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Thanks, MCCC75! I am really impressed with the supportive nature of this online community. Hang in there too! You CAN DO IT!



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MCCC75
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4/25/14 6:29 P

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We have all been where you are so don't feel alone. Just take one meal at a time and don't beat yourself up. Pretty soon, you will be on a streak of better eating and the weight will slowly disappear.
I have had my moments in the last couple of weeks where eating right has been really hard. Not sure why though I am tracking everything and keeping a journal. Just remind yourself why this weight loss journey and then maintenance is so important to you and keep that thought front and center to remind you. Hang in there...... emoticon

"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning but anyone can start today and make a new ending." ~ Maria Robinson


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LUCKYDINK7
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4/25/14 1:26 P

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TallyFl,

This is true. I guess I never though of that! I have learned that I don't want to go back there and stopped before it got worst. Thanks for the post. I was nervous to start a topic but so glad I did. I tried to reconnect today with the person I was last year and I think it's starting to work. I got salad from the wholefoods salad bar and plan to hit the gym tonight. Then eat healthy and workout again tomorrow. As I used to say, one pound at a time. Anything else is too overwhelming.

Good luck and thanks again!




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TALLYFL
TALLYFL's Photo Posts: 84
4/25/14 12:54 P

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Many of us have this happen to us. We've accomplished a lot, maintained for a long time and then, somehow, let it start slipping away. We eat too much, or party too much, or don't exercise enough.

Remember that you are the among fortunate ones, those that realize that they are headed in the wrong direction before ending up all the way back where they started in the first place!

Always, one day at a time. Stay focused on today and plan for tomorrow.



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LUCKYDINK7
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4/25/14 10:36 A

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Pam (tweetyfitn60)

I really appreciate your response. I have been obsessing about it all week and that isn't helping anything. I did figure out that I drank ALOT more alcohol over the winter. I live in Pittsburgh and it was so cold that I turned to red wine. LOL! So that is a good lessen, be mindful of alcohol in take. Aside from using that to learn I need to move on. I have done it before and I WILL do it again. Regret will not change my weigh- only action! Thanks again and best of luck in your journey.

Liz



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TWEETYFITN60
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4/22/14 8:19 P

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Yes, LuckyDink7, I hear you and I understand exactly what you are saying. In fact, one of my long time online diet buddies lost over 80 pounds and then regained it all and has been struggling to re-lose it all again. I have slid back and forth but last year I was really "cooking": I was eating less, exercising more and the weight was just plain falling off of me then my a/c broke and in the Georgia summer heat it was unbearable to exercise. Then, I couldn't afford the fruits and vegetables that I had been eating so my carbs increased. I stayed the same weight for nearly 7 months but when I started back about 5 weeks ago, I had already 10 of the 20 lbs that I had lost last year. My suggestion (since it is what I am trying to do as well) is just forget about what happened. Start today as though you have amnesia and don't remember what you didn't do. Think about what you can do today. If you ate well, then give yourself a verbal pat on the back. If you exercised, do the same. Then, tomorrow wake up with the idea that you are going to focus on doing what works today.

Remind yourself though that you CAN and WILL do this.

Pam (tweetyfitn60)

" No One is impressed with how good your excuses are."

" A year from now, you will wish you had started TODAY!- Karen Lamb

" BElieve in YOUrself."


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LUCKYDINK7
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4/22/14 5:10 P

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Hi, everyone! I am new to the board and joined because of frustration. In 2011 I went from 182 to 152 pounds. I was so proud of myself. I never felt better and I was able to manage my weight, skip most desserts, eat low calorie and exercise regularly for about 3 years. This winter I began to do hot yoga and not as much cardio. Without looking at the scale for months I went from 155 to 167! I am so mad at myself. Please note that I think yoga has more benefits than I can count and I love it. However, it is not cardio and that my mistake. I also began to eat more and be less aware of my food intake. I promised myself that I would never get back to a higher weight and I feel like I am destined to be in the 180s again if this doesn't stop. I am sad and no one in my life understands the frustration/disappointment/regret that I feel about it.

My challenge now is to regroup and get rid of AT LEAST 10 pounds. Has anyone been in a similar situation? How to regroup and find the motivation again? Thanks. This seems like a great community.



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