You can use whatever you want as motivation. (I still think you should go, you shouldn't neglect the relationships with the people who care about you. I'm sure they'd be thrilled to see you at any weight but that's your choice).
Vacations often kick up my motivation, haha. It's when I'm on them that motivation starts waning. I'm currently working up to one right now, going camping in 3 days and have been trying to shed a few pounds over the last few weeks. Likely because I know I'll put back on a few pounds.
When I first started losing weight. I used camping as my motivation. I even used a photo of our favourite campground's beach as my wallpaper on my Sparkpage. I listed all the things I'd be able to do while camping if I were 50 lbs lighter. I set a few goals for myself for the next time I returned the following year, like 'run over the massive dunes to the beach'. Well I accomplished it! I lost 58 lbs by the following May 2013 (started Spark Aug 2012) and I ran over those dunes, barely breaking a sweat.
Take your focus off the Marshmallow. www.leangains.com/2010/01/marshmallo
"Toning" is marketing muscles to women who are afraid if they pick up a barbell, they'll leave the gym looking like She-Hulk. If you don't want to get bulky, lift heavy!
I can bench Nicole Richie, eat more than she does in a day before noon, I have a good 20 lbs on her but could still wear her pants.
All that matters is that you be the healthiest you, you ca
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