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Help! Dealing with people who don't believe in you



 
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LHEVIA53
LHEVIA53's Photo SparkPoints: (1,788)
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8/29/13 4:20 P

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Thanks for all the help guys... My hurt was really more so that he didn't believe me that I was actually motivated this time. He thinks im going to fail like all the other times I have dieted, lost and then gained it back again..

The reason I dont want to go to the pool party is because its not a normal pool party its at a hotel/club, called Club 50. I live in Miami and if you have not been here the girls are pretty darn near flawless, its kind of like vegas if you want to put it in terms you guys might understand except the women are more naturally beautiful... Its quite normal to be "thick" here as us latin women usually are... its my stomach I really have a problem with. Thats why my initial reaction was I dont want to go because I dont feel comfortable up against those women, and his initial reaction was "well who's fault is that? you've been saying you were going to lose that belly for the past year" So it was just hurtful but I am okay now... I am still motivated and I am going to do it no matter what, I'm not giving up this time, even if I mess up.



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BELLYDOG
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8/29/13 12:24 P

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I am not a swimmer or a sun bather, but I do go to pool parties when invited. People have offered to loan me suits so I can join in. I have sewimmer's ear, any water gets near my ears and I get raging infections that are incredibly unpleasant. I decline the suits as I don't want to be tossed in the pool because I am too dry. (It has happened to me before.) I don't feel self conscious being the only one fully clothed. I try to talk to the other guests and hang out away from the food. I also volunteer to help the hostess get items from inside because I am dry and won't track water all over the house. Who says you have to wear a bikini anyway? Go and don't forget to practice saying no to unwanted food and drink. Take a healthy dish that is low cal that you can enjoy. Best to have at least one selection you can enjoy guilt free.



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GARDEN_GNOME
GARDEN_GNOME's Photo SparkPoints: (780)
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8/29/13 12:20 P

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I am the same way. I am a yo yo dieter. The longest diet I followed (vegan) I had to quit b/c of protein deficiency. I was on that for 6 months and lost a total of 10 lbs. That's it. I am now 160ish...Haven't weighed in awhile.

My husband, son and I live with my in laws. They are the most horrible junk food eaters. My mil's idea of a healthy snack is potato chips. My weakness is potato chips, guess who has 3 bags (2 unopened) in her cabinet right now? Me, that's who. A couple days ago I hit rock bottom. I am an emotional eater, though undiagnosed by professionals I am fairly certain I have a food addiction. I am the "poster child" for it. I binged pretty bad the other day and as I sat there hiding from everyone binging on food nearly crying bc i hate myself and feeling the way that I felt I hit rock bottom. You know that phantom rock bottom that "they" talk about?
Well, its real. And I crashed right into it 2 nights ago as I stood hiding at the kitchen counter eating cake icing out of the canister with the spoon, pickles, nab crackers, potato chips, anything. Everything.

So yesterday a.m. i sat there in disgust saying never. Freaking. Again am I going to feel that way about myself. Never. I got on this website and found some quotes and motivational things and decided What the hell do I have to lose? Do I want to wish that I had lost the weight and got skinny? Healthy? Happy? Comfortable in my own skin?

Or

Do I DO something about it? I chose to do something about it. I laced my sneakers up, grabbed my keys, drove to the nearest nice walking trail and started walking. You know what? I did it again today and will do it the next day and the next day. Rain or shine. I am walking. Eventually I will jog, and then next run. But my goal right now is to stop hating myself, stop binging, and the only way I know how to do that is to DO something about it.

My rock bottom was my wake up call. The humiliation and self disgust is not what I want for the rest of my life. Tomorrow never comes, so I decided that I better buck up and get a move on. My Motto is: If I wanna lose my ass, I better MOVE my ass!

I hope this helps and if you ever wanna chat send me a private message/email

If I'm gonna LOSE my A$$ I better MOVE my A$$!


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JESSAELINN
JESSAELINN's Photo SparkPoints: (17,153)
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8/29/13 10:38 A

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It sounds like he was pretty upset that you weren't going to the pool party. He probably wants to have you, his best friend, at his side and to see you have a good time too. If you don't go with him, people are going to ask where you are, and he'll have to answer them, and probably try to lie about it so that he doesn't have to tell them you said you were too fat. It is a lot of social pressure for him. If you go, you'll be selflessly doing something he enjoys and it shows him that you view his happiness as more important than your self-consciousness. Guess what would be even cooler? If you go, you'll think people will see you're a bit overweight... or maybe they won't care or notice! But think of this... the next time you're at a party after you drop that 30 pounds, what a difference they'll see, and how much more will you be happy with the changes you've made! I love throwing people off that way. During my weight loss, I'll purposefully wear baggy clothing, and then BAM, wear a slimming outfit once I've lost 10 or more, and it is so encouraging how often people notice the weight I lost!

In the end... only you can control your motivation to stick with it this time, in the face of negativity from others. If you plan well, resolve to stick to it, and create a healthy lifestyle that you love, you won't go back.

Edited by: JESSAELINN at: 8/29/2013 (10:38)
Starting Weight- 225 January, 2013


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GRANDMAFRANNY
GRANDMAFRANNY's Photo SparkPoints: (82,092)
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8/29/13 12:50 A

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If nobody care's it is because they don't do it or want to. Believe in yourself and say " this is for ME.



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LADYSTARWIND
LADYSTARWIND's Photo SparkPoints: (19,854)
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8/29/13 12:19 A

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#1...Go to that Pool Party! Wear whatever suit you have, and toss on a long sleeve shirt and/or skirt over it (( "I need to stay out of the sun" "I'm a little cool right now...")) but HAVE FUN!!

#2...Just quietly go about your business of learning what's available here on Spark, and slowly implementing some changes. Start tracking, but don't become obsessive about it...just more aware of how and what you are eating. Focus on one or two changes at a time. Those of us who have to do it all at once get overwhelmed, and that's when we throw in the towel! Go slowly, and you can make the changes that support a healthy Lifestyle for a new you!!
patti

"Its not the Mountain ahead that wears you out, but the grain of sand in your shoe..."


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LHEVIA53
LHEVIA53's Photo SparkPoints: (1,788)
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8/28/13 9:25 P

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I am a self admitted yo-yo dieter, I make progress and then as soon as i slip up I throw in the towel... A couple days ago I discovered this website and I've had hope that trying to accomplish my goals with a large community of people would be what I need to do it for real this time. And although its only been a couple days I feel its different this time and I have stuck to it since joining. My boyfriend and I got invited to a pool party next weekend and I told him I don't feel comfortable going because Im not comfortable being in a bikini just yet... It's his friends birthday party and he really wants me to go so he got a bit upset.. and the topic drifted to my dieting and my goal of losing 30 lbs, which ive had for a long time, but never accomplished. He's been with me long enough to know my pattern so hes skeptical that I am actually "motivated" this time and thinks that I will only stick to it for a week and then quit like I always do... It's understandable that he feels this way but I just wish he would just be supportive regardless of what I've done in the past (even if the past was like...last week). Half of me feels like its just fuel to my fire, I want to prove him wrong. But the other half is a bit discouraged...

Edited by: LHEVIA53 at: 8/28/2013 (21:46)

 current weight: 160.4 
 
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138.05
130


 
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