Regarding "I already screwed up", I read on here once (and it really stuck with me): every now and then, we might slip up while doing the dishes, breaking a glass. We wouldn't say "well, I've already screwed up" and then take the rest of the dishes out of the cabinet and throw them on the floor. We clean up the single broken glass and we go on with our day. There's no good in destroying everything when we make a small mistake.
As you've found by putting weight back on, there IS a difference when you make a decision to keep making bad choices (and saying "well, you already screwed up today, what difference does it make" IS a conscious decision), and by your post here you know what you need to do. Sometimes this journey is hard, sometimes we don't wanna, sometimes we make bad decisions; sometimes you need to tell yourself it's ok to not be perfect, but your next decision needs to be a good one. It doesn't have to be all or nothing.
YOU CAN DO THIS!
Do something everyday that your future self will thank you for.
| current weight: 179.8