I can assure you that you CAN get to where you want/need to be. I had been overweight most of my adult life, but it wasn't for the lack of eating healthy, or even in a healthy range. Unfortunately, what was a healthy range for most, was causing me to gradually gain over the years.
I weigh all of my food and enter it into the Nutrition Tracker. This is what has allowed me to stay focused and on track, tweaking as and when need be. Because I had issues with gaining even tho' I was eating within the healthy range, I was referred to a Dietitian. I also had other factors that needed address - v.high cholesterol, even tho' I was (am) on meds for it; Borderline pre-Diabetic; and severe pain caused by arthritis of the hip and spine, and scoliosis. It was felt that with weight reduction, the pain would reduce, too!
Anyway, I took some random Nutrition Tracker Reports for her to check out, and she was immediately able to diagnose the problem. After that the weight started to steadily drop. I lost 50lb in the first 16 months. I happily sat there for a year before deciding to move on down again. I reached my goal, and have been there for over 2 years now. I still weigh all my food and enter it into the tracker to ensure that I stay there.
When I got close to my goal, my Cholesterol and HbA1c results came back perfectly normal - it was down to weight-loss only.
I had always exercised, but didn't do anywhere near what is normally recommended - because of the skeletal issues. Most of weight-loss comes down to food - the toning comes down to exercise, particularly ones where you use some for of weights for strength training.
As far as your coping skills, I note that you are on the Dealing with Depression Team. Do you have a Therapist? If not, you may find that they will be particularly beneficial as you go on this journey. They will be able to give you the tools to deal with the hiccups that face you on the way, They can help significantly reduce the self-sabotage. Your Dr will be able to refer you to one. The Dr will also be able to examine you to see if there is anything medical going on which could be exacerbating this issue - things like hypothyroidism!
| current weight: 151.0