Getting Past the All or None Mentality

Posts: 498
3/10/13 11:07 A

This last post brings up a good point. Some plans work best for some, other plans work best for others. The last poster has had lots of success using one method. Others have had a lot of success using a different method.

There's a lot we can learn from both methods and it's part of our journey to figure out how we can be successful on our own journey. I'm thankful that SparkPeople has a great variety of people, all working toward the same healthy goals!

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3/10/13 9:33 A

Honestly? This is exactly why I do not count calories for myself, and only set explicit exercise goals within the last couple of weeks, over two months into doing this. For me at least, such "black or white" aspirations can create more problems than they solve. I had probably been eating at least 2500 calories a day previously. So if SP sets me a range that tops out at 1900 and on a given day I eat 2000, is that a failure? No way! It's a freaking victory! Yet the calorie range encourages thinking of it as having made a mistake. Eating too many calories was not the mistake - the mistake, if there even was one (honest hunger is no mistake IMO), was in the distorted thinking that led to going over. And distorted thinking isn't a "failure" -- it's a challenge, it's something that can be identified and FIXED.

This is ultimately a lifestyle change, and part of that change is committing to do right by yourself. For me that means keeping portion sizes down, eliminating sweets/munchies/mindless grazing as habitual behavior (desserts and such still OK by me if there's a real reason for it), and getting an unspecified "a lot" of exercise. And I have honestly found that with this mindset, all the little minor "failures" that seem to upset a lot of people just completely fail to get under my skin. I was feeling cruddy last week and exercised much less than usual, just couldn't work up much energy for a few days. So? Once I felt better, I was right back to doing what I had been. This is the rest of my life. One day is irrelevant, even five wouldn't matter much.

I don't know why it's been so easy for me to stay in this particular headspace this time when I've never really gotten here before. I do know that it really works, if you do think this way and if you believe it.

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3/10/13 8:12 A

The only thing this attitude did for me was make the job even harder.. I had to make friends with healthy food, find healthy alternatives. I also except exercise is like a battle you can't avoid and each time I entered the gym switch off stupid people attitude and say to myself welcome to the battle front thinking of my health and my kids being a widowed mom..

As the years roll by, I just do it now because it is really the only way out of hell.. There are no quick fixes that last and I admitt that I really hated having plastic surgery for the damage that couldn't mend itself and don't want to have anymore of it..


Edited by: REDSHOES2011 at: 3/10/2013 (08:13)

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Posts: 77
3/9/13 9:51 P

I use to be in the same exact boat, If i ate one cookie i figured i ruined the whole day, then i would eat pizza, chips, donuts. etc. After a while you just learn that that attitude gets you NOWHERE. I would love to share a certain way I got over this but to be honest its just trial and error. Eventually you will realize that you make mistakes and you have to get back on track right after. A few months ago if i ate a slice of pizza, I would be depressed and eat ten times more. Now, if I eat a slice of pizza, I track it, and make sure to eat healthier on my next meal and of course exercise! :)

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3/9/13 6:50 P

Shelly you must want this or you would not be posting. Think of this transition to a healthy lifestyle as one of empowering self-mastery. You are worth being the best you!! Review your goals and re-affirm them. One of the quotes I kept in mind at the start of this journey is by Richard Bach
"Argue for your limitations, and sure enough, They're yours"

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Posts: 498
3/9/13 12:54 P

Another idea would be to "just begin". Tell yourself you're going to exercise for just 5 or 10 minutes or take a walk. You might find that once you get started it feels good and you want to keep at it. The same could be true of tracking. Track the best you can and make that much a habit again. Make just one or two better choices than yesterday. Then tomorrow will be a new day to repeat these, plus add more.

Again, good luck. We're in this with you!

Posts: 846
3/9/13 12:46 P

I am a bit of a perfectionist and I run into the same problem all the time. As I've gotten older, I've focused on allowing myself not to be perfect. It's been quite a struggle.

current weight: 128.0

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Posts: 771
3/9/13 10:15 A

I can relate! There is no magic answer except to keep doing it. I very rarely have time for long workout so I got in the habit (it takes what, 22 days to develop a new habit I think?) of braking up my activity.

I read once that it's really good for your metabolism to do short bursts of activity throughout the day. So I take 10 or 15 minute walking breaks at work everyday, then one or two SP videos in the evening. Weekend I get my longer workouts in. It takes time. We all go on those spirals. You can do this.

Check out my blog from last week on some things I learned....

www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_
individual.asp?blog_id=5271205

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Posts: 498
3/9/13 9:54 A

Hi!

I don't have a magic answer, but I can definitely relate, as I struggle with this myself. You're not alone.

What would motivate you? That might help make it "worth it" for you to choose what you know to be good for you versus the things you know aren't.

-Giving yourself a small reward after you walk and drink 8 glasses of water for a certain number of days?
-Putting up motivational quotes from SparkPeople like these: http://www.sparkpeople.com/resource/quotes.asp
-Finding someone nearby or on SparkPeople who is willing to say "OK, if you do it, I'll do it, too." Knowing that someone else is counting on you might be motivational.

These are just a few random thoughts. Take care and let us know how it goes.

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3/9/13 9:46 A

I have the bad habit of thinking that if I can't eat within my calorie range or exercise for 30 minutes on the treadmill that I will just continue to eat and not exercise at all. The all or none mentality. How does one get past this? The fast break goals aren't motivating me to walk for 10 minutes or drink 8 glasses of water a day. I'm on a downhill slide right now and have not exercised or eating right since Wednesday. How do I stop this and get motivated for good?

current weight: 148.2

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