I have a tendency to write a literal book when I am upset. But I think I overcame some odds, and I want to hear your inspirational stories too!
I kept getting into trouble at work, I was so unhappy. Although I had lost 60 pounds prior to moving to this particular place, I had gained ALL the weight back, then some. My boss at the time always told us things we were doing wrong, she rarely acknowledged the positive things we were doing great at! Further, due to problems with a staff member I was supervising and the fact that my boss did nothing about her non-compliance to some very serious duties, I chose to leave and to start working part time. I am hoping that the fact that I left due to this staff member will help her to see this person more clearly. I can dream. I still get sad about it because I know I'm good at my job, yet the negative vortex that my boss created was sucking every positive energy out of my life! But now, I am very happy where I am, though it's a lot less pay. I think I'd rather be happy and poor, than unhappy and rich. Before, I was able to possess a smart phone. But now, and can't afford the $100 bill every month, so I switched to my old phone.I now use my smart phone to store dance music for working out with. I was SO excited to figure out that I could store music on the phone! I don't use it for anything else!
One night, I forgot to charge it at home so that it would be ready for the workout the next day. I took it to work, but accidentally left my cell phone charging at work. I almost turned around to get it, but I was closer to the gym than I was to work, so I decided to work out first instead. I had the BEST cycling workout ever!! I left the gym, hungry, happy and ready for a shower. Upon arriving home after a 20 minute drive, I realized I forgot AGAIN to get the phone. Gas is expensive, and I thought, hey, I trust my coworkers, nobody's going to take it.
The next day I showed up at work and it was missing. The rest of the staff all were surprised because they all saw it on the counter up until closing hours! It's upsetting because I am nearly hired for a 2nd job that requires me to have a smart phone, and now it's gone! I needed this job, we can't afford to fix our car if it breaks down, we can't afford to go anywhere, we sometimes can't afford food. I feel like my privacy has been violated too. There are private messages, pictures, you name it. My boss assured me that she may be able to help me receive compensation, due to the fact that there are janitors that come in at night who are an outside hired company. I did NOT know that an outside company of janitors worked there... I am pretty sure that it has been stolen, charging cord and everything.
I realized it was insured, so feeling a little hope, I planned on going to the phone company to ask them if I can get it replaced. I also accidentally left my gym clothes at home. In an attempted to NOT allow my stolen property to stop me from working out, I traveled all the way home to get the gym clothes, then all the way back to the phone company. The phone company couldn't honor the insurance due to the fact that the phone was taken off service.
So, I went to the gym. I sat in my car for a good 5 minutes, not wanting to work out. Instead my eyes nearly welled up with tears, though I did not cry. I turned on my music and uncontrollably ate 10 red vines. I realized that I DO stress eat. Initially, I had the candy in my car as a staple for after working out, and also to help ensure that I wouldn't B-line to McDonald's or anything. I think a red vine is definitely a healthier choice than fried food. After eating the candy, I drank my water. I wanted to go back home and crawl into bed and go to sleep or sit in the dark and watch movies and purge on whatever I wanted to eat. I looked down at my gym clothes. Then realized that I set myself up for success, not failure. I went slowly into the gym and reluctantly got onto the Precor machine (whatever it's called). I completed my workout, but still needed to do weights. I almost left. I dragged myself over to the weights, and surprisingly I was beginning to feel much better. I told myself, "Don't let discouragement drag you down. Don't let something you can't control to get in the way of something you CAN control. Don't let those losers make you want to crawl under your shell and hibernate alone in the dark." I set myself up for success by buying those new gym clothes and shoes, and I am going to use them, every day that I plan to, every day that I set myself up to! I have about 75 pounds to lose, and it will be a long road, but I need to set up a pattern of success that will get me there! I'm proud of myself for Just Showing Up at the gym, because otherwise, I don't think I would have been successful yesterday.
1/1/2013- 95 pounds to lose... wow
9/24/13- 41 pounds to go! Halfway there!
| Pounds lost: 47.0