Well firstly, it's not "like anorexia but in reverse." Anorexia is anorexia, which is totally seperate. This is more like body dismorphia. But you're certainly not alone. I would look in the mirror every single day when I was at my high weight of 285 and think I looked fine, or even pretty. Then I'd see a random picture of myself and be completely shocked at how huge I looked. It wasn't until I lost about 100 lbs that what I saw in the mirror, and what I saw in pictures finally matched up. When I was at my high weight, I had select pictures that I thought looked good, and now I can't even stomach looking at those.
Some people just get so use to what they're seeing in the mirror, and they come to terms with how they look. They think of themselves as "normal," even though they could be extremely overweight, or even underweight. It catches you off guard when you see yourself in a picture, or catch a glimpse of your reflection in the window of a store, because you kind of can see yourself for how you really are.
In my head, I saw myself as "a little overweight." I didn't see myself for what I really was- super obese. And I have to say, when I finally came down from that high weight, it really made me sick to realize how I looked at my high weight. And as I lost more weight, it seemed like every single picture I looked at, even if it was from just 20 lbs ago, it shocked me by how overweight I looked in the pic compared to now. It was something I really struggled with.
If you're anything like me, as you start to lose, you'll get use to seeing the smaller you in the mirror, and you'll start to detach yourself from the mental image you've been seeing yourself as. It takes time, and patience. It doesn't happen overnight. If you ever want to chat, feel free to send me a PM. Good luck.
| Pounds lost: 117.0