5
 
Author: Sorting First Post on Top ↑ Message:
 
DRAGONCHILDE is the moderator for this forum.
 
CESPRINGALL SparkPoints: (96,729)
Fitness Minutes: (103,936)
Posts: 7,606
4/21/14 2:57 P

Send Private Message
Reply
I was lucky and learned at a young age, not to care what other people thought. Not that my mother was or is happy with my attitude. However, she supports the healthy theory. I am supporting my daughter with healthy and losing weight as well. Best of luck to all.

B4IAM30's Photo B4IAM30 SparkPoints: (891)
Fitness Minutes: (525)
Posts: 76
4/21/14 9:34 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
My husband is a quiet supporter. My parents when I say "going to start exercising again and eating right"..i get "oh okay..." they don't sound enthused at all. i've tried on and off so many times they've lost faith that i can lose weight. Maybe that should motivate me enough to proove otherwise. My mom i told her i want to lose my c-section belly (biggest problem) and she's like "oh you'll never lose that"...she had a c-section with me, natural with my brother. idk but it was kind of upsetting. I've read some say they've lost their "pouch" or has reduced it so i shouldn't take her one opinion so seriously.

IDK what to do. just stressed and aggravated at myself. can't lose weight. i've tried it all.



 current weight: 217.0 
 
225
211.25
197.5
183.75
170
SCOTTIEOWNER SparkPoints: (7,107)
Fitness Minutes: (285)
Posts: 681
4/21/14 8:13 A

Send Private Message
Reply
Hubby is 100% supportive but extended family - THE WORSE! I've moved past worrying what they think. I do what is right for me and if it doesn't suit them, that's their issue.

NEWLITTLE1's Photo NEWLITTLE1 Posts: 789
4/20/14 2:05 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I'm lucky enough to have a supportive spouse (which is hard because he has never had a weight struggle) but I do have a GF who deals with a less than supportive mate. She and I have decided to team up and motivate eachother - she knows her mate can't understand so she doesn't push it on him. We have a team :)

Darrah :)
North Carolina/ Eastern Time Zone
Black Panthers

Follow me on Fitbit
www.fitbit.com/user/2Q9X6F

Support the Relay for Life
www.main.acsevents.org/goto/DarrahCa
ves

Think before you act :
"No one can do everything but EVERYONE can do something."

" Success is not judged by another's point of view; rather it is the measure of your own positive mindset"


"Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if yo


 Pounds lost: 11.0 
 
0
12.75
25.5
38.25
51
SUCCESSBABE55 Posts: 20
4/20/14 12:48 P

Reply
that's been my struggle for years. it's not like my family doesn't care if I wanna start a healthy lifestyle but it's the way they go about it. that's what hurts me. I came back here because last time I thought that I was strong enough to make all these changes on my own. boy was I wrong. my parents would be like ''oh your arms are so big'' why can't you do something about it?! those kind of comments that hurt alot. and then I get defensive and crawl into my shell and I'm the mean one! then it's me not being able to take it and I go back to my emotional bingeing. it's really hard. also dealing with lots of stress, disappointment in my career path ( going to school/changing programs/low income etc.) doesn't help either. that's why I decided that I needed to do that for me and not for anyone else.

Stephora

"Don't ever give Up" and "I deverve this" ( from the biggest loser)
I started here at 270 pounds and I lost so far 20 pounds although I signed one here last june. The reason is I wasn't really focused on my new lifestyle. But I started it on december 23rd 2007, so not too bad!! lol


 
0
12.75
25.5
38.25
51
NICK3RD's Photo NICK3RD Posts: 4,938
4/20/14 4:32 A

Send Private Message
Reply
Say I can't and I will



 current weight: 253.8 
 
280
257
234
211
188
CALLMECARRIE's Photo CALLMECARRIE Posts: 1,598
4/18/14 8:09 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I think being overweight and out of shape is so common in our society that a lot of people think just "kind of fat" is good enough. The average is so low that someone who actually wants to be healthy and fit looks like an extremist.

"I owe everything you see here to spaghetti."

-Sophia Loren


 current weight: 173.3 
 
285
253.75
222.5
191.25
160
RUNFORWINE's Photo RUNFORWINE Posts: 440
4/16/14 9:57 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
It is sad when people we care about don't want to help us reach goals. I have had unsupportive people in other areas and it just becomes an exercise in will power. I gave up ALL drinking for Lent, and to say it was harder on the people I knew than myself to not drink would be an understatement. Every time I went out someone offered, told me no one would know or care, that it was all in my head and one would be ok. But I held out. I even started early on March 1, and it is ending on Sunday and I feel truly proud of myself for being able to say no and resist temptation from something I enjoy doing and keeping the people out of my own way. I finally was able to lose weight because of it after going through a 6 month plateau of my body getting stronger, but never losing weight. Giving in would affect no one but me, and I learned willpower and self control, which I think is the main lesson. If people are trying to sabotage you, just remind yourself it matters to YOU and that is what counts. If it is important to you, don't change it for anyone. They will learn to adapt or you possibly will grow apart. The important thing is the good ones will be there to support you in the end, and you will learn a lot about yourself and strength to remind yourself you can workout/eat healthy/do whatever it is you need to reach your goals. It's a good reminder we are more capable than we think when we are tested. Turn their negativity into a positive.



 December Minutes: 0
 
0
33.75
67.5
101.25
135
RICHERYL Posts: 834
4/15/14 1:00 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
thank you for sharing with us, it helps to realize that we are not alone. hugs, Cheryl



 current weight: 221.5 
 
244
225.5
207
188.5
170
CESPRINGALL SparkPoints: (96,729)
Fitness Minutes: (103,936)
Posts: 7,606
3/30/14 9:54 A

Send Private Message
Reply
Barbara:

Good for you! It seems that you have spent the last two years focusing on your mental health and have done well. Now you are focusing on your physical health. Good for you and you can do it. :)

Spark people has kept me sane while my husband was in the hospital several times. Even when he passed, I kept on sparks. I was able to keep sane by focusing on something. I was trying to eat right and exercise, but didn't care about me. Sparks people cared. My friends and family were great and very supportive but I could cry when I wrote to sparks people which I tried not to do in front of my children.

This is a great site to help you with everything. People are willing to help and offer suggestions. I hope you use this site for all your needs.

REALLYHOPIN's Photo REALLYHOPIN SparkPoints: (12,642)
Fitness Minutes: (4,331)
Posts: 1,261
3/30/14 8:22 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I spent 6 years living with a man that was completely unsupportive of my nutritional desires. He refused to eat vegetables other than CORN and POTATOES (sound like starches to me). He literally would gag if I cooked broccoli when he was in the house. He was jealous of the time that I spent here on Spark and continually "spoofed" on me about having an online boyfriend.

Finally in 2012 I ended the relationship and we parted ways.

Now, here's the thing. It is now 2014 and I just started sparking again and paying attention to my health.

My point is, I can't use his being unsupportive of my health initiatives as an excuse. It took me two years with him gone to get back on track. Ultimately it was my decision to get myself healthy. If I had wanted it bad enough then, I would have cooked that broccoli and let him gag!

You've got to love yourself enough to do this for YOU. Yes, we can whine and complain that our loved ones are not supportive but be honest with yourself. The only person that can really and truly sabotage your efforts is YOU.

If a loved one is truly standing in your way to a healthy lifestyle then I really have to question how healthy of a relationship that is....

When it comes to friends and other family members, this is change. Change is awkward so people make awkward comments and take awkward actions. My friends don't really get that sugar is my addiction. They don't understand that one cookie or piece of pie can lead me to a binge. They don't even know I am prone to binging. It isn't something I do in public. So when I'm invited out to dinner, I usually just change the plan to going to a park or just out for a walk; anything is better than being forced into a situation that is going to cost me money and blow my nutritional goals.

Be good to yourselves...

Barbara


~ ~ Barbara ~ ~

Start date: March 4, 2010 @ 232 pounds

AFFIRMATIONS:
I live a healthy lifestyle ~ I have 4 beautiful children that I will (God willing) see grow up ~ My relationships are awesome ~ I have an amazing amount of energy ~ I feel healthy ~ I feel good about myself ~ I look better than I have in years and I get better looking each day ~ I have self-confidence ~ I am a success ~ I respect myself.


 current weight: 165.6 
 
210
196.25
182.5
168.75
155
RICHERYL Posts: 834
3/29/14 11:38 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I'm sorry to hear that sooo many of us are experiencing the same sabotage-type stuff, but glad that we feel free enough to share with each other. It makes me realize that I am not alone in this, Thanks gang!!!



 current weight: 221.5 
 
244
225.5
207
188.5
170
CESPRINGALL SparkPoints: (96,729)
Fitness Minutes: (103,936)
Posts: 7,606
3/24/14 4:58 P

Send Private Message
Reply
I read an article this morning on a new study out about the benefits of drinking water half an hour before eating. We all know that drinking 8 cups a day is recommended, but drinking it before meals is the best time. I drink because I am thirsty and I drink over 8 cups a day. Not with vodka :) I have thought of that, but it would defect the purpose. Anyway, it is really good for diabetics to drink water before meals to slow down the absorption process as well. Thought I'd share.

SKINNYMAC4 SparkPoints: (6,313)
Fitness Minutes: (5,008)
Posts: 5
3/23/14 8:34 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Maybe your husband can enjoy the benefits of when you stick to your healthy eating plan (you're happier, looking good, etc.). Maybe you can make healthy versions of the stuff he eats so it'll seem like you're "joining him".

Edited by: SKINNYMAC4 at: 3/23/2014 (20:34)

 Pounds lost: 20.0 
 
0
8.5
17
25.5
34
SANDRA1982's Photo SANDRA1982 Posts: 172
3/23/14 8:17 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
My family would like me to lose the weight but without meaning to are unsupportive. Husband is the worse because he gets annoyed when I won't join him in eating things that are unhealthy.



 current weight: 349.0 
 
359
329.75
300.5
271.25
242
TRAVELGO Posts: 3,554
3/23/14 8:00 P

Send Private Message
Reply
NO MORE TOXIC PEOPLE!!!



 Pounds lost: 19.0 
 
0
7.5
15
22.5
30
SKINNYMAC4 SparkPoints: (6,313)
Fitness Minutes: (5,008)
Posts: 5
3/23/14 1:22 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
CESPRINGALL, it made me smile that I made you laugh with my last posting! I just discovered the Sparkpeople Funnies, which are come in handy on those days we need laughter.

And EABHA70, I salute you on distancing yourself from the non-supportive friend. I had to do that last year with a friend, 'cuz she kept doing the same stuff I told her several times was sabotaging me. Since she apparently couldn't change, I was relieved when she finally she stopped contacting me - it'd become too much work dodging her bullets. I hope your friendship fares better - if not, it's ok because you've got supportive family, co-workers and other friends. Awesome for you!

Glad to be part of this message board.



 Pounds lost: 20.0 
 
0
8.5
17
25.5
34
EABHA70's Photo EABHA70 SparkPoints: (48,423)
Fitness Minutes: (22,289)
Posts: 1,089
3/23/14 9:54 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
My family gets what I am doing. My co-workers and friends are the same. I live alone and have complete control over what I buy and eat.

The only person who doesn't get it, for varied reasons, is this one particular friend, a very old friend. And frankly, I've had to distance myself from her this year as I make my big push toward my goal weight. It has worked. Not seeing her every week is part of what made it possible to finally reach ONEderland. I love her, but I needed to do this for me.

Highest weight: 289 lb
Current weight: 160 lb (129 pounds down!)
Goal weight: 140 lb


 December Minutes: 1,255
 
0
500
1000
1500
2000
CESPRINGALL SparkPoints: (96,729)
Fitness Minutes: (103,936)
Posts: 7,606
3/23/14 9:46 A

Send Private Message
Reply
SKINNYMAC4
I love you comment. It made me laugh this morning and I needed that. thanks

SKINNYMAC4 SparkPoints: (6,313)
Fitness Minutes: (5,008)
Posts: 5
3/22/14 11:16 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I agree with all the comments on this board. I too have a non-supportive family when it comes to weight loss. With their weights ranging from 250 to 400 each, it's no wonder and they call me "frail" anytime I weigh 150 or less. What helps me is realizing that I'm "leaving the pack" - the fat pack, that is. They can still be family, but I prefer being part of the "Sparkpeople pack"! It helps that I live a few states away from them. And if I lived closer and had to visit them more often, I'd probably ask them to love me by forcing money on me, instead of forcing gooey food on me. emoticon



 Pounds lost: 20.0 
 
0
8.5
17
25.5
34
CESPRINGALL SparkPoints: (96,729)
Fitness Minutes: (103,936)
Posts: 7,606
3/22/14 9:20 A

Send Private Message
Reply
NASFKAB: You are right. I remember how hard it was when I was a lot younger and trying to lose weight. Grandma made lemon cake, my favourite. My husband would buy chips and chocolate. It took quite a few years to get them to understand how much it hurt when they did it and how bad carrying an extra 50, then 70 pounds was. I kept failing, then gained more weight. Finally when I was almost 220 pounds, my husband saw the light. His pants did not fit anymore, plus he had already gone up a couple of sizes cause he went up 50 pounds. Then he dropped 20 pounds in 3 weeks. Very depressing.

The point is, You can succeed!!!! You can overcome their negativity. It is all right to slip up. You can exercise when they don't see it. Park farther away from the store. Make 6 trips up and down the stairs, instead of one.

When I was feeling down and having a hard time, I used to go to the laundry room, cry and do jumping jacks. I did laundry every day back then. I started off with 10 before loading the washer, then 10 after. Gradually, I built up to 100 a day. Took over a month to do it. No one saw me and no one knew. Kind of like cheating. :) Like a closet smoker or drinker. :) I didn't lose much weight, but I went down a pant size. That encouraged me to continue.

I hid the fact I dieted. I just ate smaller portions, said I wasn't hungry and went and did laundry after a small meal. Or before. You can do this and everyone at spark people will support you.

I am wishing you luck with your family and hope they will learn the way mine did. It took mine quite a few years. hopefully, you have a faster learning family and they get on board helping you.

YOU CAN DO THIS! I BELIEVE in YOU!!!!!!!!



NASFKAB SparkPoints: (207,318)
Fitness Minutes: (103,600)
Posts: 125,715
3/22/14 5:20 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
ITS HARD WHEN YOUR OWN FAMILY TRY TO SABOTAGE YOU

CESPRINGALL SparkPoints: (96,729)
Fitness Minutes: (103,936)
Posts: 7,606
3/12/14 8:30 A

Send Private Message
Reply
RICHERYL:
I buy sugar free candy. I know it is a bit more expensive and sweeteners are not good for you, but neither is extra weight. Better for diabetics than sugar and you could share your candy with your hubby. It would help both of you.

My family bakes. Privately and professionally. My husband was a red seal baker. Due to different allergies in the 90's before gluten free, sugar free, lactose free, my husband developed several recipes that fit one of the categories and made it. He passed away with some of the recipes not written down, but our kids had some of them memorized and bake those for dessert when I am going to dinner. Or do not bake a dessert at all.

Now you can buy packaged dessert mixes without gluten or sugar. Some are pretty good. Next time you are invited for dinner, suggest you take dessert for others to try, since it is one of your favorites. :) Then you can have a small piece and leave the rest at their house. Less temptation and you can insist they keep it, knowing how much they enjoyed it. Most people will say they like it rather than be rude. :) A win/win for you.

Best of luck!

REGALWENDY SparkPoints: (411)
Fitness Minutes: (20)
Posts: 4
3/11/14 4:04 P

Send Private Message
Reply
Sometimes the people who seem the most supportive actually are not. As soon as I say that I am trying to lose weight and watch what I eat, it seems somebody will show up with coffee and donuts for a visit. Or someone at work will bring in cake or cookies and say...oh you can have just one (or a small piece won't hurt) or we will get invited out for supper by someone who knows how hard I am trying and they will serve something covered in thick sauces and serve really sweet gooey desserts. I don't won't to seem ungrateful but sometimes I feel that it is done deliberately so that I won't reach my goal. At work, I tell people that no, it might now hurt but it isn't going to help either or go out of my way to avoid the area. When eating at someone's house, I eat what they serve but only small servings. At home when treats appears, I tell people that I am not in the mood for sweets like that and grab a more nutritious snack or say that I am not hungry.

RICHERYL Posts: 834
3/8/14 5:50 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
sometimes my worst non-supportive person in my life is my own husband. Even though he is diabetic, he will still get into stuff that he really shouldn't. His favorite thing is candies. I have a real hard time sometimes in saying no to him, because I know he is trying to share and be thoughtful about sharing, but it isn't really good for either of us. Often I will take the piece of candy and just set it aside for when I can have it and keep myself in control. But I am not perfect - I sometimes succumb to the temptation. I know my dr is watching me closely since my numbers are getting close to the diabetic levels, been in the pre-diabetic range for over 1 1/2 years now. I know that some weight loss, even just 15 lbs would really help me but it is sooo hard to lose now that I am over 60.



 current weight: 221.5 
 
244
225.5
207
188.5
170
IMDADOGGIE's Photo IMDADOGGIE SparkPoints: (21,037)
Fitness Minutes: (7,115)
Posts: 1,337
2/21/14 3:18 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
My 19 yr old son was extremely supportive the first 2 wks and congratulated me multiple times. It was very encouraging. I was so happy that he was really into it with me. Now if I tell him something he acts like it doesn't matter. It kinda bummed me out a little but I am doing this for me so I will push on with or without his praise. I know even if he does not say it he is happy so I guess it doesn't matter. :)



12.0 Inches Lost
 
0
5
10
15
20
CESPRINGALL SparkPoints: (96,729)
Fitness Minutes: (103,936)
Posts: 7,606
2/21/14 11:44 A

Send Private Message
Reply
You can do this. Being firm and saying no can be hard, but if you are struggling with that, explain to people that you are diabetic, if it makes it easier. Most people understand that sugar and starch are bad for diabetics.

BEST of LUCK!!!!

CYNLETSIM's Photo CYNLETSIM Posts: 278
2/20/14 6:18 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
My biggest problem with family & coworkers is the food pushers. It's not that they make hurtful comments. They just try push food, especially candy and desserts on me. That is the opposite of being supportive because if they were supportive, they would try to help me stick to my diet plan. I have diabetes as well, so not only am I trying to lose weight but I must watch my carbs, etc. to control my blood sugar. I have really had to learn how to say no and be firm.



 current weight: 207.0 
 
212
194
176
158
140
NASFKAB SparkPoints: (207,318)
Fitness Minutes: (103,600)
Posts: 125,715
9/13/13 12:54 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
but they can still say harsh things which hurt

CESPRINGALL SparkPoints: (96,729)
Fitness Minutes: (103,936)
Posts: 7,606
9/13/13 11:58 A

Send Private Message
Reply
I have huge support from family and friends over the death of my husband, but not my diet. Guess I can't complain.

RICHERYL Posts: 834
9/13/13 12:00 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I guess I am lucky right now that I don't have non-supporting friends or family around.



 current weight: 221.5 
 
244
225.5
207
188.5
170
SOFTBALLMONKEY's Photo SOFTBALLMONKEY Posts: 148
9/9/13 11:13 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I am the same way. Now that I am once again really trying to lose weight and the slow results are starting to show. I get really self-conscious when people comment on how great I look, especially if it is a time when I really tried to look my best. It is like well when I dressed up before did I look bad. I just try to keep reminding myself that I am doing this for me. Some of my reasons my be vain or silly but they are MY reasons.

With man this is impossible but with God everything is possible. --Matthew 19:26


 Pounds lost: 34.0 
 
0
29.25
58.5
87.75
117
NASFKAB SparkPoints: (207,318)
Fitness Minutes: (103,600)
Posts: 125,715
9/9/13 10:20 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
you are welcome

URBANAUDREYE's Photo URBANAUDREYE SparkPoints: (58,855)
Fitness Minutes: (37,996)
Posts: 2,917
9/4/13 9:21 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Thank you!

~Audrey

Co-Leader of 20 Somethings with 50-99 Pounds to Lose
Join Us! www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=11518


Leader of Northeastern Pennsylvania
Join Us!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=17427


Leader of Wilkes-Barre/ Scranton Team
teams.sparkpeople.com/WilkesBarreScr
anton


Goals:
200lbs - Goal met! December 1, 2013
180lbs - (August 17, 2014,)
160lbs - (


 current weight: 178.8 
 
234
209.25
184.5
159.75
135
NASFKAB SparkPoints: (207,318)
Fitness Minutes: (103,600)
Posts: 125,715
9/1/13 2:59 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
hope you find a solution soon


URBANAUDREYE's Photo URBANAUDREYE SparkPoints: (58,855)
Fitness Minutes: (37,996)
Posts: 2,917
8/29/13 6:52 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
That would be an option maybe if we had a bigger room... or if we had electrical that could handle it. The way things are, we don't even have clearance in our room to open the door fully, and because my grandfather kept scaring my daughter in the middle of the night there are 3, and soon to be 4 of us all in the room. Half our bedroom furniture is stored at my in-laws house because we don't have the room for it, which means the clothes that were in those pieces of furniture are simply piled on the furniture that we did manage to squeeze into the room, or piled as neatly as possible on the floor. It's an all in all bad situation here. 5 weeks left to this pregnancy and baby to be has no clothes yet, simply because we have no place to put them, and when we moved in here I was forced to get rid of all my first daughter's clothes that no longer fit her because there was no room. The electrical situation in the house... we can't use more than one appliance in the kitchen at the same time without blowing the breaker, and I've blown the breaker our room operates on using the bedside lamp while also having an alarm clock plugged in and charging my cell phone.

~Audrey

Co-Leader of 20 Somethings with 50-99 Pounds to Lose
Join Us! www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=11518


Leader of Northeastern Pennsylvania
Join Us!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=17427


Leader of Wilkes-Barre/ Scranton Team
teams.sparkpeople.com/WilkesBarreScr
anton


Goals:
200lbs - Goal met! December 1, 2013
180lbs - (August 17, 2014,)
160lbs - (


 current weight: 178.8 
 
234
209.25
184.5
159.75
135
NASFKAB SparkPoints: (207,318)
Fitness Minutes: (103,600)
Posts: 125,715
8/29/13 1:24 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
any visitor when am cooking will comment why I cook with so little oil find fat makes me feel sick

KHALIA2 Posts: 5,647
8/28/13 8:01 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Try asking if you may keep a mini refrigerator and burner in your room.

URBANAUDREYE's Photo URBANAUDREYE SparkPoints: (58,855)
Fitness Minutes: (37,996)
Posts: 2,917
8/27/13 4:43 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I have the issue of living with people who live unhealthy lifestyles. We're in a financial situation that we were forced to move in with my grandfather, and even without paying rent or a majority of the bills, we still struggle for grocery money. And we also have a space issue. It's hard to stock healthy food when there's no room in the refrigerator to keep it, and since it's not our fridge, we're SOL. We do try our best to keep healthy options around, but it's nearly impossible. My aunt, in the past week alone, has brought over a box of danish, a box of donuts, and a blueberry pie. And I baked an apple cake because the apples were spoiling and I wanted to salvage as much of them as possible (It took 6 very large apples just to squeeze out the 2 cups I needed for the recipe. I'm basically not allowed to use the kitchen to cook unless I'm cooking for everyone, and since my grandfather and aunt won't eat the foods I like to eat, I'm pretty much stuck. I LOVE when both of them go out of town because it means I can actually eat good for me foods. The worst part of the situation is that it means I have minimal influence on my daughter's diet. She's healthy (minus having lead poisoning... long story, and I rant about it quite a bit in my blogs if you want to know more about that situation), and a perfect weight for her age/height, but I wish they would stop pumping her full of pastry, cookies and candy. Anyway (as this has turned into an off topic rant), I at the very least "limit" the unhealthy foods that I eat. Potato pancakes, I won't eat more than 3, with the only condiment I use on them being applesauce. My grandfather complains that I won't eat more, but by the time I've choked down those 3, I'm sick to my stomach, nauseous, and usually in the bathroom with diarrhea from all the grease. Pierogis are another favorite around here. Last night for example, again, ate only 3 with maybe 2 tablespoons of sour cream. My grandfather was pushing the rest of the pierogis that were cooked on me, and trying to put more sour cream on my plate. Admittedly, I've been taking way more leniency with my diet lately because I'm pregnant, but those greasy foods still make me sick to my stomach. I tell them when they're cooking these things that I don't like them because they irritate my stomach, but no one ever listens. There are days that I outright refuse to eat the food, and end up going to bed hungry, because there simply is nothing else available. My aunt is constantly trying to push soda on me... I didn't even drink soda BEFORE I started my "healthy lifestyle". Maybe on occasion, but she's always offering me "a Coke"... Never in my life have I EVER drank coke, I just don't like it, never have, never will. It's basically only the caffeine free soda's that I ever drank (orange, grape, black cherry, root beer, birch beer , lemon lime... and okay, on a RARE occasion I will drink a cherry cola... it's the plain cola flavor that really bugs me). Anyway, I either drink water with lemon, juice, or iced tea when it comes to cold beverages. This completely baffles her. Actually, it baffles my grandfather as well. When we first moved in here my aunt was absolutely appalled that we didn't keep soda in the house... she's actually yell at us for it. One time we did buy soda just to make her happy, and then she yelled at us for paying too much for it. How are we supposed to know what a good price on soda is when we don't drink it?. I've used medical concerns as excuses to them, straight up told them that we don't like those foods, or beverage choices, told them that we don't want our daughter eating those things, even asked her pediatrician if she could write them a note defending our decisions for her (which she wouldn't do however she said that some of their actions actually warrant that we could get a pfa against them). Anyway, it's rough constantly fighting against these things, but we do our best.

~Audrey

Co-Leader of 20 Somethings with 50-99 Pounds to Lose
Join Us! www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=11518


Leader of Northeastern Pennsylvania
Join Us!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=17427


Leader of Wilkes-Barre/ Scranton Team
teams.sparkpeople.com/WilkesBarreScr
anton


Goals:
200lbs - Goal met! December 1, 2013
180lbs - (August 17, 2014,)
160lbs - (


 current weight: 178.8 
 
234
209.25
184.5
159.75
135
KHALIA2 Posts: 5,647
8/26/13 2:47 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Great ideas!

CHELLESTARSHINE's Photo CHELLESTARSHINE Posts: 9
8/26/13 2:36 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
When I first lost weight a few years ago, my mom would make weird comments to me about specific parts of my body that were changing. First she said, "You know, your face looks so much better now that you've lost weight." Then she said, "Those rolls on your back are almost gone!" Then she said, "You know, that hump on your back has really gone down since you lost weight."
It bugged me. Especially now that I've gained it all back, because I'm more aware of the issues she pointed out to me. I feel like every time she sees me, all she sees is the fat face, the rolls on my sides, and the bump on my back.
She was never a very supportive person to begin with, but you expect your family and friends to support you the way you need them to. It doesn't always work out that way.
I unfortunately didn't really cope that well. Once she noticed my weight loss and mentioned it every time I was around her, she actually made me feel self conscious about it. Weird right? But I lost focus. Now I'm trying to get back on the wagon and all I can think about is getting rid of my fat face and back rolls.




 current weight: 190.0 
 
235
213.75
192.5
171.25
150
SICK-OF-YOYO's Photo SICK-OF-YOYO SparkPoints: (310)
Fitness Minutes: (301)
Posts: 30
8/26/13 8:13 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I'm so glad someone started a thread like this.
I love my friends and family, but most of them just don't understand how serious this journey is for me. I know they mean well when they say "Oh, you're tall so you look fine~" but what I WANT to hear from them is, "Wow you're doing so well, keep doing what you're doing!"

So far with the passively negative comments and "advice" everyone casually throws in my direction, I have developed some strategies in dealing with all kinds. Mind you, I'm passive-aggressive and hate confrontation, so some of these tactics might not fit everyone's style of dealing with conflict.

- Smile and nod along, while imagining in your head what kind of workout you'd like to try tonight, what you're going to post on your blog later.

- If someone who doesn't know a thing about losing weight the right way offers you pompous advice on how to lose fat fast, nod even harder and add in some "Ooh, yeah? Hmm~ interesting"s. Basically, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em... for that moment at least. I've found that (pretending to) wholeheartedly agreeing with whatever bs they're babbling is a quick way to shut them up. Then go do your own thang when back home.

- When friends ask to go out for dinner at an unhealthy restaurant, I sometimes use my fiance as a scapegoat haha. I say I ate a very late lunch because of his erratic work schedule, and am so full, but I will join them for coffee later. Then eat a nice, healthy homecooked meal, and at the cafe later order a healthy option like herbal tea or something. Make sure to keep the conversation flowing and exciting so there's less chance of anyone interrupting to ask why you didn't order a caramel frapp like they did.

- When worse comes to worst and you are totally cornered by a pushy relative offering a slice of her homemade heavenly pie, "enthusiastically" take the plate from her, complimenting how delicious it looks. Then take a bite of it in front of her, gush some more at the deliciousness, and excuse yourself to "go get some milk to go with it"... then sneakily give the rest of the pie to someone else.

Good luck.. and I totally feel ya. You are so not alone. It's so incredibly FRUSTRATING when the people you care about the most will support you in every other struggle but won't take this one simple thing seriously!



 current weight: 139.0 
 
143
139.75
136.5
133.25
130
LUCASMOM2003's Photo LUCASMOM2003 SparkPoints: (45,698)
Fitness Minutes: (39,250)
Posts: 1,670
8/26/13 12:29 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
My mom has been living with me and my gramps, everytime she gets mad she calls me lazy. That she works hard and I sit around and burn a hole in the couch... I told my gramps I would not fight at all. Today she took forever in the store and left gramps in the sun in the truck. He needed to get back to where we he left to go pick her up. And couldn't wait another to do it. He was still digusted about it.... she just worries about her and not who is taking of her.... he is 84 and was in the truck for 20minutes. That's not cool at all.... mom. Couldn't wait for a different day.

Edited by: LUCASMOM2003 at: 8/26/2013 (00:30)
Veronica
Ft. Wayne, Indiana
Eastern Timezone

Sapphire Beauties
BLC 26 Groovy Gecko

www.writing.com/main/portfolio/view/
lucasmom2000


 current weight: 200.0 
 
200
187.5
175
162.5
150
KHALIA2 Posts: 5,647
8/24/13 8:23 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
That's what I'm talking about!

NASFKAB SparkPoints: (207,318)
Fitness Minutes: (103,600)
Posts: 125,715
8/23/13 5:05 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
know better than any one else what I need to do

KHALIA2 Posts: 5,647
8/21/13 5:37 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Always do what is best for you!

NASFKAB SparkPoints: (207,318)
Fitness Minutes: (103,600)
Posts: 125,715
8/16/13 5:45 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
stopped visiting as some do not understand

RESHAMDOC's Photo RESHAMDOC SparkPoints: (819)
Fitness Minutes: (0)
Posts: 22
8/16/13 3:38 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Many times, other can be jealous of you as you may be looking so much slimmer than what u looked earlier. So u need to guard urself against such people..
And regarding people forcing you, just be gentle and refuse..If they still persist, you can always say you are too full or make an excuse n go to the washroom!!

emoticon

KHALIA2 Posts: 5,647
8/15/13 9:59 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon

CESPRINGALL SparkPoints: (96,729)
Fitness Minutes: (103,936)
Posts: 7,606
8/15/13 8:02 P

Send Private Message
Reply
I know the going on and on thing. I take a bottle of water with me, so I am not so tempted for tea and cookies or squares or cake or pie. :)

KHALIA2 Posts: 5,647
8/14/13 1:32 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I Agree!

NASFKAB SparkPoints: (207,318)
Fitness Minutes: (103,600)
Posts: 125,715
8/14/13 1:32 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
many say its only one day but it goes on & on

KHALIA2 Posts: 5,647
7/8/13 10:57 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon I agree that "stuffing you" is a way of showing love. To keep from hurting her, you could eat a bit and then claim to be full.

CESPRINGALL SparkPoints: (96,729)
Fitness Minutes: (103,936)
Posts: 7,606
7/8/13 7:57 A

Send Private Message
Reply
Stuffing people with food is probably your aunt's way of showing love. Silly as it sounds. I spent years trying to figure it out, but finally, it was explained to me. People put love in what they make and want to share it.

I found it easier to deal with these people when I knew why they were trying to feed me so much. I would explain that I was only eating small portions, several times a day to control my blood sugar. I always ate whatever they made and gave them a hug as a thank you. The beaming smiles were always wonderful to see. A win win!

MYAKAYAH's Photo MYAKAYAH Posts: 4,800
7/8/13 2:42 A

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I can't say I have any non supportive family of friends. If I lived with my one Aunt she'd tried to stuff me so I'd have to be careful round her but thankfully she isn't my mother~

"If a person wants to be a part of your life, they will make an obvious effort to do so. Think twice before reserving a space in your heart for people who do not make an effort to stay."

"Your happiness is up to you. Whatever happened in your life to make you who you are up until this point is irrelevant. It is your responsibility now to take control and change your life to be what you want it to be. Energy and persistence conquer all things. Make time, not excuses."


 current weight: 127.0 
 
142
137.75
133.5
129.25
125
KHALIA2 Posts: 5,647
7/7/13 3:59 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I plan to get my bike repaired and ride again.

POUNDSAWAY73 SparkPoints: (7,223)
Fitness Minutes: (2,225)
Posts: 647
7/7/13 11:39 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon That's the best thing to do.

With God all things are possible.
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass;
It's about learning to dance in the rain.
I am still living on the green side of the grass!


 Pounds lost: 7.0 
 
0
12.5
25
37.5
50
CESPRINGALL SparkPoints: (96,729)
Fitness Minutes: (103,936)
Posts: 7,606
7/7/13 8:11 A

Send Private Message
Reply
Good for you at having your own plan and sticking to it. My sister-in-law started riding her bike to work a few years ago. She was out of shape and underweight. People worried she'd lose more weight, but she built up an appetite and got fit. Best she has been in years. Yes, she owns a car but it is for things she can't carry on her bike.

Good for you. Stick to your guns!

MCASKEY6's Photo MCASKEY6 SparkPoints: (12,297)
Fitness Minutes: (27,218)
Posts: 73
7/6/13 2:34 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
When I started bike commuting, all my friends, family, and co-workers praised me for being active and saving money. But they would immediately follow it with "When are you going to buy a car?" or "Are you still doing that biking thing, why?"
When I started trying to change my lifestyle, it seemed that everyone wanted to criticize everything I was doing and continuously offered their own opinions and advice, even if I didn't ask for or want it.
I've been working on just ignoring them or reminding them that this is MY journey, and I thank them for their interest but I have my own game plan.



 current weight: 191.0 
 
210
193.75
177.5
161.25
145
POUNDSAWAY73 SparkPoints: (7,223)
Fitness Minutes: (2,225)
Posts: 647
7/6/13 1:48 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply

Weight shouldn't have anything to with getting a man. It should be because you are a good, caring person. It is what is inside that counts, straight from the heart. emoticon

With God all things are possible.
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass;
It's about learning to dance in the rain.
I am still living on the green side of the grass!


 Pounds lost: 7.0 
 
0
12.5
25
37.5
50
KHALIA2 Posts: 5,647
7/6/13 1:12 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon

ELORA101's Photo ELORA101 Posts: 192
7/6/13 9:03 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
It sickens me that a female friend would tell someone they have to be skinny to get a man. My fiancé and I started dating when I was 40+ pounds heavier. He has been supportive of my attempt to be healthier, but the right man will love you at any size.



 Pounds lost: 49.0 
 
0
21.25
42.5
63.75
85
AMBERDAVVN's Photo AMBERDAVVN SparkPoints: (237)
Fitness Minutes: (130)
Posts: 41
7/6/13 7:59 A

Send Private Message
Reply

yeah.. this comes and goes. Everyone is mostly positive, but then I hear "people would kill to be your size"

Im frickin 5'4 and 188 lbs and have never been heavy (ok well once when I was in scool). So if you are heavier, does that mean my own thoughts and self esteem should not count as much?

�Whether you think you can or can�t, you�re right.� ~Henry Ford


 current weight: 196.0 
 
196.2
180.9
165.6
150.3
135
CESPRINGALL SparkPoints: (96,729)
Fitness Minutes: (103,936)
Posts: 7,606
7/6/13 7:55 A

Send Private Message
Reply
Wow! Even in this day and age, women still think that men are the most important thing in a lady's life. I was married for 36 years to a fantastic man. He died. I was a size 14 when we met. Marilyn Monroe was a size 14. I am currently seeing a man who is 9 years younger than I am. I am a size 18. Your inner beauty shines through.

Relax about finding a man. He will find you. As for your friends, size doesn't matter when love finds you. It is your qualities and inner strength and beauty. Fashions change (Marilyn Monroe) but inner attributes are always in fashion.

Respond with statements about what you are doing in your life. What your goals are! What you want in a relationship. It would be petty to make statements like "Does your boyfriend only love you because you are a size 6?" Tempting, but not nice. A last resort thing to say.

I was not looking for a new man when one found me. My friend was jealous, even though she was in long term marriage. Not so happy. Her comments were, "He is not like my husband or as good or as educated", blah, blah, blah. My response was, "No, he is different, but his qualities are similar and he loves me more than himself."

The right person will come along when you least expect it. He will love you for you. Not your hair, size or income. But because your soul will meet his.

As for your friends, let them think your career, single status or whatever is your number one priority at the moment. Let them think what they like. You are the only one that matters.

It is what you think that counts. You are doing this program for a reason. To be healthier, more active, more fit. Carry on and know that "YOU" are the one that is important. "YOU are the one that needs to live her own life. "YOU" can do this, with your head high.

Sometimes, just smiling at people makes them wonder what you are up to. Sorry for being long winded, but I know you can do this. Just remember:

You can not control people's actions or words, only your reactions to them. Smile!

MSLC2007 SparkPoints: (777)
Fitness Minutes: (0)
Posts: 3
7/5/13 10:41 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Sorry I joined this kind of late. This struck a chord with me because I have friends I've known for such a long time. Will even call them a best friend. I am already stressed about starting this weight loss journey, then during a conversation after going food shopping I heard "Well once you lose the weight you'll get a good guy." Needless to say I was insanely shocked because yes I am single, but I haven't been going on dates or anything, because I work so much. I then responded why, to which I heard, "Well the good guys want smaller girls." Kinda sucks because even at my smallest I was a size 14 but all muscle. I do get hit on every now and then but I don't know if I would want a guy who will only date me if I'm size x. I have a smaller support system because I work 50 hrs a week and I'm in the gym so long. Any advice on how to even respond to comments like these?



 Pounds lost: 0.0 
 
0
16.25
32.5
48.75
65
KHALIA2 Posts: 5,647
7/5/13 8:37 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
You are in the right place to get all of the support you need.

POUNDSAWAY73 SparkPoints: (7,223)
Fitness Minutes: (2,225)
Posts: 647
7/5/13 11:05 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon As a spark member, I need all the support I can get!!! emoticon

With God all things are possible.
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass;
It's about learning to dance in the rain.
I am still living on the green side of the grass!


 Pounds lost: 7.0 
 
0
12.5
25
37.5
50
KHALIA2 Posts: 5,647
7/4/13 8:58 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon

CESPRINGALL SparkPoints: (96,729)
Fitness Minutes: (103,936)
Posts: 7,606
7/4/13 7:58 A

Send Private Message
Reply
Today I am going to help support all the sparks friends that need support. You can do this!!!!

KHALIA2 Posts: 5,647
7/3/13 10:39 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon

HAPPYMENOW58's Photo HAPPYMENOW58 Posts: 2,264
7/3/13 5:41 A

Send Private Message
Reply
I Just say that I am really full.....Can't eat another bite! You guys go right ahead!



 Pounds lost: 11.0 
 
0
8.75
17.5
26.25
35
KHALIA2 Posts: 5,647
7/2/13 9:32 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I go out once a week , also to eat with friends. I usually choose a salad, fish and maybe a small roll.

CESPRINGALL SparkPoints: (96,729)
Fitness Minutes: (103,936)
Posts: 7,606
7/2/13 2:12 P

Send Private Message
Reply
Good for you for not being intimidated. It took a strong person to point it out to her. emoticon

POUNDSAWAY73 SparkPoints: (7,223)
Fitness Minutes: (2,225)
Posts: 647
7/2/13 10:41 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply

Very good advice.

With God all things are possible.
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass;
It's about learning to dance in the rain.
I am still living on the green side of the grass!


 Pounds lost: 7.0 
 
0
12.5
25
37.5
50
LIVELYGIRL2 Posts: 2,743
7/1/13 9:48 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
that's not very nice. emoticon

SLRASSLL's Photo SLRASSLL Posts: 126
7/1/13 8:20 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Recently I had a former co-Weight Watcher hold a doughnut in front of my face as she held it out to the person sitting beside me. And it was within biting distance. At first I simply told her to get it out of my face. When she kept it there, looking dumbfounded as she stared at me, I reminded her that she should remember what it's like to be in that situation even if she isn't a Weight Watcher anymore. And she got mad at me? I embarrassed her by pointing it out. She never got that she was the one who was wrong.



 Pounds lost: 82.6 
 
0
31.75
63.5
95.25
127
CESPRINGALL SparkPoints: (96,729)
Fitness Minutes: (103,936)
Posts: 7,606
7/1/13 8:11 P

Send Private Message
Reply
Great idea! Planning ahead is smart!!!1

RICHERYL Posts: 834
7/1/13 8:07 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I'm sorry folks, I didn't take time to read every posting here, only a few at the beginning. I did see alot of good ideas how to deal with food sabatoers (sp), so thanks for sharing. I guess I don't have alot of people like these to deal with. But my husband and I do go out to eat at least once a week with other people and I am often not in control of choosing where we go. When I know that we will most likely be eating out, I build in a little cushion in my daily food intake to allow for a fluctuation in calories that I most likely will end up getting while we are out. That way I can go ahead, carefully choosing what to eat and not call attention to my healthier way of food choices.Often I will forego a dessert, saying that I am just tooo full, and when I get home, will go ahead and have on of my Healthier choices IF I feel the need to splurge.



 current weight: 221.5 
 
244
225.5
207
188.5
170
POUNDSAWAY73 SparkPoints: (7,223)
Fitness Minutes: (2,225)
Posts: 647
7/1/13 4:04 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Some people just don't understand what it is like to be overweight and what one goes through, so they are inconsiderate and don't mean to hurt our feelings. When this happens to me, I think of what Jesus said while dying on the cross. "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do."

With God all things are possible.
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass;
It's about learning to dance in the rain.
I am still living on the green side of the grass!


 Pounds lost: 7.0 
 
0
12.5
25
37.5
50
KHALIA2 Posts: 5,647
6/30/13 4:58 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Great answer to your sister. We all must start where we are and work on where we want to be. emoticon

REDNBLUE27's Photo REDNBLUE27 SparkPoints: (203)
Fitness Minutes: (280)
Posts: 21
6/30/13 11:50 A

Send Private Message
Reply
I know how you feel it's tough but if they care about you they will understand. Just tell them thanks but no usually when my family does that I walk away and let it go. My sister when I told her I went running one day laughed in my face. It really hurt my feelings and I let it get to me especially when she told me if I was working out I wouldn't be big.



 current weight: 178.0 
 
178
166
154
142
130
POUNDSAWAY73 SparkPoints: (7,223)
Fitness Minutes: (2,225)
Posts: 647
6/30/13 11:10 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply

Good response! emoticon

With God all things are possible.
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass;
It's about learning to dance in the rain.
I am still living on the green side of the grass!


 Pounds lost: 7.0 
 
0
12.5
25
37.5
50
KHALIA2 Posts: 5,647
6/29/13 12:41 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I usually tell them that I am doing it for my health which is true.

LIVELYGIRL2 Posts: 2,743
6/29/13 12:07 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Sometimes people need to hear just what you did say... Also humor does reduce stress and sometimes those remarks also get their attention to think twice.

LILSPARKIE85's Photo LILSPARKIE85 SparkPoints: (22,999)
Fitness Minutes: (6,804)
Posts: 182
6/29/13 10:17 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Hm, that's a tricky one. The way I usually handle it depends on my mood. When I'm in a good mood, I can resort to humor or just honesty to get the point across. For example, I might say, "One bite won't kill me, but it's not going to help me either!" or "The doctor doesn't seem to think I've lost enough weight yet!" When I'm in a bad mood, to be honest, I can be quite nasty. I wouldn't recommend it doing it all the time, but it kind of makes you feel good to get the point across. I might just tell them that I'm tired of them not being supportive and I can't understand why they're holding me back from being my best self. Good luck to you!

LILSPARKIE85


 current weight: 149.0 
 
154
150.75
147.5
144.25
141
KHALIA2 Posts: 5,647
6/28/13 8:46 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
That's what friends are for. Glad to be of help!

Page: 1 of (2)   1 2 Next Page › Last Page »

Report Innappropriate Post

Other Staying Motivated Topics:

Topics: Last Post:
Plan for the next year 12/16/2014 12:41:36 PM
options for accounting to other sparkers? 11/3/2014 4:03:26 PM
Bouncing Back from an Injury 12/10/2014 10:08:23 AM
Need help staying focused 9/22/2014 4:40:05 AM
NEED HELP AND ENCOURAGEMENT 4/27/2014 1:03:50 AM

Thread URL: http://www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/messageboard.asp?imboard=31&imparent=28017829

Review our Community Guidelines





Diet Resources: clif bar energy bar | clif energy bar | energy bar calories