Hello all, i have been on here on my other username but it been years so I decided to start all over again. I was also on myfitnesspal.com but so far no one bother respond to me so I though I would try this again and hoping there is someone out there who is really listening to me.
I just turned 35 years old last April and deaf/half blind. I have never been married, still single and no kids. I am Freelance Photographer, it had been my passion for so many years. I used to be an active athletic playing sports before I lost my eye sight at age of 14. This is not for crying for a help but I would like to share my story and I am hoping if someone could be my friend and check on me as much as possible to keep on tracks. I don't normally share my story on public.......here it goes. The big reason why I have gained weight is because I don't want to look pretty and get attack again. I was raped not one but TWICE at different time and different guys. No worries I have moved on and forgive them but I will never forget what they did to me. I have so much FREE times that I didn't bother to do what I need to do. I have took care of my best friend who was ill for 8 years, also her two beautiful kids (I am so lucky to be their godmum!). Now my best friend is somewhat better and is able to take care of her kids and I no longer live with her. I have let everyone down with my weight that I have let it go so FAR. I was weight at 235 for almost 6 years and didn't think I would go overboard of my weight as I went to my PCP last week and I am SHOCKED and almost wanted to burst into tears that my currently weight is 249! Now this gonna stop and not let it go much further. Plus I really wanted to lose my weight mainly for my health and my godkids who I loved the most as they are like my own kids. I wanted to keep it up with them. As you can see my profile photo, I was playing baseball with my godkids and I am so out of shape. I get so mad at myself for "blame" this weight for my past. Now I really do MEANT it, I really wanted to make this commitment and lose weight. My goal is I wanted to lose weight maybe at 135-145 and be a bodybuilder (I have always wanted to be one for YEARS). Now as for bodybuilder part, I couldn't find ANYONE who could help me and maybe I can be their "project" to become one. Now as I have been said all on here, I am LOST and don't know where to start if I should lose fat first then do bodybuild or you can build muscles and lose fat at same time. I have no CLUE and I have see so many methods and I am so stressed out ALREADY on which I should start! I have asked someone in the past and they would said "wow I love your story, let me get back to you". Did they email me back or call me? NOPE.......they just forget about me and just move on and saying they wanted to help people and email them. Or sometimes they would laughed at me that I wanted to be a bodybuilder. I am tired of it being hopeless that not one person wanted to be my friend and point me the right direction is all I need right now. I really wanted to meet my goal, maybe one day I will have someone in my life and hopefully I will have my own kids I been wanted for so many years. Feel free to message me or add me either way. Thanks for read my story!
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