I have used Spark People on and off for several years! One time I did very well with it and I lost about 25 pounds before I just gave up. That seems to be my problem, I lose my motivation. I have too many vices and it's too much for me to give them all up at one time. I drink too much soda (totally addicted, I swear!), I smoke cigarettes, I eat a lot of fast food and processed crap! I never have any energy, I am tired all the time, I get sick easily because my immune system is weak. I am probably on my way to becoming diabetic and my blood pressure is getting to be high consistently. I am 32 years old and if I don't make a change, it's all downhill from here. In 10 years I will be the age my mother was when she died. She died of cervical cancer, and while that's not directly related to her being overweight and unhealthy, it sure doesn't help it at all. I don't wanna die in 10 years! My grandmother passed away in Jan and she was only 66 years old! She was overweight as well and had SO many medical problems and they finally got her.
I am totally uncomfortable in my own body. I feel ugly and not sexy at all, even though my boyfriend tries to say he thinks I am beautiful. He wants me to lose weight for my health but he's not a pushy jerk about it. He's not exactly a skinny guy either so he does understand. But I still feel self conscious constantly. No clothes ever fit me right, the only thing I can ever be truly comfortable in is sweat pants and a t-shirt. And let's not forget that in order to get any kind of decent clothes that don't shrink or fall apart after you wash them, you have to spend an arm and a leg! I went to Lane Bryant the other day to buy a new pair of jeans and they don't even have the regular jeans there anymore! The cheapest pair of plain blue jeans they had were 50 bucks!!!!!!!!!! That's ridiculous!
So I guess what I am saying is, I wanna do this, but I wanna do it right! I don't wanna starve myself or deprive myself of things I love. I need to learn to change my lifestyle! I have so much to learn and need help! It's a long journey ahead, have over 100 pounds to lose....but I am gonna stick with Spark People again and see how it goes.
Thanks for listening to my rant!
| current weight: 326.0