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How to deal with negativity?



 
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STARMONICA
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7/19/14 10:11 P

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write the things. sleep are useful for me



GRAMMIEOFTWO
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7/19/14 9:42 P

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Try to avoid anyone that is negative, seek out more positive people/friends.


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LOLEMA
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7/18/14 6:51 P

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change thought process, meditate, go to quiet place



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PHXTEACH
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7/18/14 12:32 P

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Ugh! Like nearly every other person on this board, I know the feeling! I put up with a coworker for two years who would come into my room nearly everyday to eat her lunch and talk. But all she ever wanted to talk about was how horrible life was or how horrible our school was. The advice has already been given on this question, but I second (or third, or fourth) the advice that not engaging and changing the subject are super effective. I would do this and she would either follow along or she would leave after a couple of minutes. I didn't usually worry about offending her because I was never mean about it (unless I was in a really bad mood...), so we still had a fairly good relationship until she moved to a different school. Hope everything has worked out for you!



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FRIDA11
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7/18/14 2:17 A

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Frankly - I am the negtive one these days as I think I have to leave a company that mostly offered beautiful dreams but not reality.
How shall I walk away from myself?
How shall I ignore myself?

How shal I find my positive and happy mood if and when friends and family walk away from me??
As walking away from friends or family who are in a difficult situation is the solution I will walk away from you.
Have a nice summer and a good walk. I will take a swim right now.

Edited by: FRIDA11 at: 7/18/2014 (02:18)
Frida
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PT.JEFFGIRL
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7/17/14 8:07 P

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Ignore it.



CAMEOSUN
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7/17/14 7:25 P

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Lately, I have been "not reacting" to it and Praising God instead.


~ Do what good you can, and go in peace ~



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DELRIO1
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7/17/14 1:22 P

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try to avoid as much as possible



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FANNYMANSON
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7/17/14 11:12 A

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Yep, there's no harm in telling them that all the negativity is dragging you down and draining you. Tell them you want to go out on a high note and remember these days fondly, not with bitterness. Ask if they could please stop the complaining about things. You make lots of lifelong friends at college, and if they are close enough to have that bond with you, they will respect your wishes.

Feed your head.


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DENIECY
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7/17/14 10:53 A

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I ignore it. One way to ignore negativity is to stay focus on your goals and surround yourself with people who have positive attitudes.



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LONWYF
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7/16/14 6:53 P

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I listen, but try not to absorb. Their negativity isn't usually directed to me, just at me.



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FRIDA11
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7/16/14 4:46 P

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Walking away or escaping from a good friend or family member who is negative or sad
is a very unfriendly attitude or at least a very weak way of treating friends in my opinion.
Negativity is something within another person and does not have to affect you if you decide it does not affect you.
But if everybody walks away from a person who is sad or negative this is a very hostile and unfriendly attitude.
I find it a quite common and bad fashion only being together with friends or family if they are in a good mood. I hope this will STOP and people will learn to be supportive in different ways depending on their resources. We are all part of society. We have the power together to crate a society where people care for each other rather then running away from people who have problems...

Edited by: FRIDA11 at: 7/16/2014 (16:47)
Frida
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FEDGIRL4
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7/16/14 1:53 P

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There are several factors here.

Whether the negativity is from a stranger or someone you know (know well or acquaintance), you can do one of two things: you can internalize it and let it get into your fabric and become miserable or you can ignore it. You can't control what people say...just how you react to it. Also ARCHIMEDES always quotes something from Eleanor Roosevelt, "Noone can make you feel inferior without your consent."

Also, sometimes people say things that are not negative, but we are in a mood that, boy it sounds like it doesn't it?!

Is the negativity from within? Some people need to get their mind in a good place before they do something about the way they think they look. Some people change their physicality and, along the way, that puts their mind in a good place.

I wish you good luck.

Life is not waiting for the storms to pass..it's learning to dance in the rain.

"The only disability in life is a bad attitude." - Scott Hamilton

Growing Up In the 70's
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DSTENORE
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7/16/14 12:18 P

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If it is constant negativity from the same person, MOVE ON



CHARITYAK
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7/16/14 11:55 A

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They only have as much power as i decide to give them. I'm not living in their world. I move on.



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RICHARJ
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7/16/14 11:12 A

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Read your bible or a encouraging short story or favorite quote

But by ALL MEANS - DO NOT JOIN THE PITY PARTY

THIS TOO SHALL PASS

Edited by: RICHARJ at: 7/16/2014 (11:15)
Today may there be Peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of Faith in Yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received & pass on the Love that has been given to you.


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FRIDA11
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7/15/14 1:18 P

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I have copied some of your very good suggestions -
I find 2 or more ways to look at it:
Is the negativity from within me?
To confront and talk openly with the negative person
Too walk away - The last one I should maybe learn. It depends on the situation.. Is it necessary to stay? Or could I make an excuse to take a walk. A person who is sad or negative may need help. IŽd try to dig into what is said.. If it is something going on and on with no perspective - I would either make fun - point on the bright side - Or change the situation - Like suggesting to do something. Walk together. Or play a game or..
emoticon

Frida
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NISSANGIRL
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7/15/14 6:21 A

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I dont



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TCANNO
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7/14/14 1:42 P

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I live emoticon on my own so I talk myself out of it

How can you know that you can't unless you have tried and failed.

Join the 10 minute challenge and get exercising.

See what you are made of by joining the 100 day challenge.

Links on my Spark page.

Don't forget to make your workout fun so as not to get bored with it.

https://www.flickr.com/photos/wigmore/

See trevcannon.blogspot.co.uk/


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SMAXWELL57
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7/14/14 1:37 P

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I try hard to stay away from negative people .. sometimes, it is hard when it's a family member or even a friend. I have been fortunate enough to have the greatest of friends and we all try not to be negative. We may vent at times .. lol .. but, we are there for each other and make each other laugh.



GRIZ1GIRL
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7/14/14 1:33 P

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I found a few things that work to counter the Negative Nancies that used to bother me...for one, I just smile to myself & ignore their comments knowing that Nothing Succeeds Like Success & Nothing Tastes Better Than Thin Feels! :)

And I've also started trying to turn the other cheek--rather than let nastiness affect my mood & actions, I try to pray for the other person. I feel sorry for them & say a prayer to forgive & bless & move on.

We can only control ourselves & our actions & reactions...so that's my focus. If I work to be the best ME I can be everyday, then I know I'm doing all I can do...and that's enough. :)

It Is What It Is.... :)


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KBJIARA
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7/14/14 1:01 P

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Do your best to avoid the source of the negativity. If you can't because it's your spouse, mom or somebody that close, it's best to address the issue and come clean about how this person makes you feel... delicately, just in case ;)



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NISSANGIRL
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7/14/14 6:14 A

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ignore it



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CATRINAWINS
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7/13/14 9:25 P

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I would be truthful.

Tell the person(s) that their repeated negativity really impacts you. That you try to focus on positive aspects and would love it they tried to focus on good things as well. Bad things do happen, they can talk about serious issues, but not the circular whining. Its too draining.

Being overweight is hard.
Losing weight is hard.
Maintaining your weight is hard.

Choose your hard.


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NISSANGIRL
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7/13/14 11:01 A

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I don't



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GONNALOSE5
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7/13/14 10:41 A

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I have found you often can't fight it, speaking up in a challenge often leads to an ugly confrontation, which may not be the best way to deal with negative people, so step away.

If you feel you must address a negative person, do so in private and one on one, then step away from the person that brings the negativity. Refuse to be dragged into someone else's dark negative place. Nike says it best, "Just Say No!" If it is a situation that breeds negativity, do your health and your mind a favor and leave.

*Same day later time: the Nike thing bothered me, so I did a check, turns out "Just Say No!" is from Pres. Reagan's era say no to drugs campaignemoticon

Edited by: GONNALOSE5 at: 7/13/2014 (11:20)
"It is never too late to be what you might have been." by George Eliot.


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MARKATSPARK
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7/13/14 6:18 A

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no



TIGGZZZ13
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7/13/14 1:45 A

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For every Negative, there are 2 Positives. It is always easier to look at the negative, but to find the positive in it is another thing. My philosophy is to find the positive in everything. I hear negativity everyday, and everyday I'm Thankful for waking up. There is so much negativity in the world today, so I do my best to make each day a Blessing. Whether it's buying a homeless person a meal or paying for groceries for the elderly. If we show one person each day that there is HOPE, they will know that someone cares. Caring is contagious.... Pay it forward...



CRAMPERELLA
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7/12/14 4:22 P

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Some people use complaining as a way to deal with their stresses. I try not to take other people's negativity on or take it personally. It is rarely a reflection of their true nature. I try to find the humour in it. While there are some people who are just plain grumpy or prickly, it doesn't make them any less loveable. It sounds like your co-workers have been there much longer, have more experience or find change challenging. That is perfectly normal. The longer you are in a career, the easier it is to see the cracks and change is never easy. They are probably just venting. You can listen without getting sucked in or you can limit the time you socialize with them at school. When you are just starting out you are just focussed on learning the ins and outs of the job and don't have the energy or time to complain. I close my classroom door in the morning while I prep. It's a great way to keep people out. My boundaries are pretty clear and if someone crosses them, I just tell them that I would love to talk but I am busy right now. Direct communication and setting boundaries for yourself usually work.



SANDRA_E
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7/10/14 11:59 A

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I have the same problem at work...except none of us have new jobs. We've looked, but nothing has stuck. I'm still occasionally guilty of it myself. I have taken to looking on the bright side and remembering that there will be an end. I try retorting with either a joke or a positive outlook on the situation. It still gets me down though. I then try to read positive stories, etc. to not destroy my mood. Congrats on the new job! The good news is that it just may end when everybody moves to the new job!

Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were going to live forever.

It is health that is real wealth, not pieces of gold and silver.


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MARYJOANNA
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7/10/14 10:45 A

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If it is you who feel negative, read something positive. If it is someone else, think of a positive retort.



 
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GEVANS7
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7/10/14 6:33 A

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By continuing to listen when people are bombarding you with negativity you are "permitting" it. I have had to deal with people like this by telling them I just don't want to hear it. I'm sure it comes off as rude but it stops them in their tracks and I don't have to listen to them anymore. It's an energy zapper and I NEED my energy more than they do.



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MARKATSPARK
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7/10/14 5:06 A

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no



GOOSIEMOON
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7/9/14 11:12 P

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walk away

"Don't let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use."

~ Earl Nightingale


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RENATA144
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Change the channel - get out of the environment that is upsetting you.

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Practice gratitude.

I took the road less travelled by, and that has made all the difference. - Robert Frost


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LOLEMA
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7/9/14 1:10 P

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I don't subject myself to it....I have removed those people from my life that suck the life out of me.... I don't watch the news.....don't read the paper.......meditate.....function on the power of
positive thought



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STILLMENEWBODY
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7/9/14 9:36 A

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It's their problem, not mine. I use to fall into a trap when others were negative towards me or just negative in general. I would allow it to bring me down. More often than not now, I rise above it and carry on. That's the best I can do and it is far superior to joining the negativity bandwagon don't you think?

KEEP ON KEEPING ON! I CAN DO IT!


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TRYINGHARD54
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7/8/14 6:08 A

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you just learn to adjust

I CAN DO THIS


TENNISJIM
TENNISJIM's Photo Posts: 9,490
7/8/14 5:49 A

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I deal with it



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THROOPER62
THROOPER62's Photo Posts: 16,609
7/8/14 5:33 A

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Ignore it



MARKATSPARK
Posts: 861
7/8/14 5:07 A

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no



DUGDIXIE1
DUGDIXIE1's Photo SparkPoints: (7,417)
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7/8/14 1:39 A

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My dad use to tell me when I grew up that this to shall past. And remember if you don't have anything to say about that person then don't say it. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon HAPPY thoughts. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon



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JAMESCUTTANCE
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7/7/14 11:33 P

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Be with positive people, those who can only share you good and happy thoughts!



DOODLES1013
SparkPoints: (9,242)
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7/7/14 10:02 A

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do something positive



SUNSHINE99999
Posts: 6,293
7/6/14 11:45 P

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kiss my wife more often.



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ROBBIEY
SparkPoints: (92,246)
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7/6/14 10:18 P

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ignore it



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UMBILICAL
Posts: 11,073
7/6/14 10:16 P

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Look for the lesson



 
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