If I have a habit that truly bothers someone, they should tell me. I honestly cannot read minds.
The one habit I have that is noticeable is that I stare into space a lot. I daydream and sometimes it's while looking directly at someone. I know it creeps people out, but I can't help it. I also jiggly my leg a lot. I have a horrible nervous condition and I need to do something to get that stress out. People have asked me to stop before, but I explain to them that I can't and they either deal or move farther away.
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475 5/19/14 4:54 P
I would certainly hope that people would make an effort to curb their annoying habits if you point it out to them (kindly). But that is assuming the irksome trait is valid and not just you being oversensitive about peoples quirkiness.
The comments people make about me when they have no idea what I've lived through in my life to make me who and what I am today. The violence, loneliness, pain, excessive moving, no friends, being over weight most of my life. I would prefer people would keep their comments to their selves. Until you've lived it, you don't really understand it. And just cause you got "over it" doesn't mean other people can.
ALWAYS BELIEVE THAT SOMETHING WONDERFUL IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN
Pounds lost: 35.0
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5/10/14 12:08 P
This is an interesting topic. In some cases, when irritating habits are pointed out, some people will just give you some expression and ignore you. Example: a family member used to sway and jiggle from one foot to another any time she was standing - especially when in conversations. It drove me crazy. I wanted to tell her there's meds for that! lol But I limited it to just mentioning that it was an annoying habit, and I was getting seasick. She actually put her tongue out at me and grinned and did it *more*. So much for that.
In my case, I was raised to conduct myself in ways which took others' feelings and actions into consideration... which automatically means to keep my habits to myself unless there's some reason for them other than it's just a thing I do. That's not to mean I go around timidly! because that's certainly not me. But I do try to keep potentially annoying things out of others' faces. There are some things I don't realize I'm doing, and some I simply can't stop doing, despite intentions to contrary. If they're pointed out to me, I do try more diligently, in any case.
I remember reading about delays having had life-saving (or at least very significant) advantages for people in some cases, too. People caught in traffic and missing flights (which thereafter had accidents), even some reports of instances of SOME type which kept a few from being inside the 9/11 building/s when that occurred. Even the more mundane, or things never realized -- you're stuck in a store in a crowd, and maybe avoided a fender-bender in the parking lot... or a more serious accident on the road. Sometimes something or someone seems to be looking out for us. I don't care about the whys or whos -- but I try not to judge the details. Who knows what good comes to me, or bad I can avoid, when the unexpected drops on me.
...the problem with people these days is they've forgotten we're really just animals ... (attributation forgotten)
We did not create the web of life; we are but a strand in it. ~attributed to Chief Seattle
We don't have souls. We ARE souls. We have bodies. ~C.S. Lewis
@GONNALOSE5 - I keep my Sunday school lesson in the car. Whenever I go to the post office, I stand in line and read the lesson.
my very good friend Lydia is the one who changed my perspective about waiting in line, getting stuck in traffic, etc. - Maybe that 'wasted time' is what kept me from some minor or major catastrophe? Who knows...
I used get spastic when I had to wait in line a long time. One time I returned to my office after a trip to my bank, I was incredibly angry because it seemed people had no respect for other peoples time. I mentioned it to my friend and she gave me a bit of advice I still use after 30 years. It seems so simple now, never go to the bank at or near the beginning of the month, go in the middle or at the end [when people have no money-her words ] I wanted to go to the bank when I got paid but realized (after her prodding) it did not matter when I went as long as I budgeted properly. When I go to the bank near the end of the month, I pretty much have my choice of tellers and almost no waiting. I also take a book with me just in case there is a wait.
"It is never too late to be what you might have been." by George Eliot.
I tell people when they are getting on my nerves. I do it sweetly enough, so they don't change.
I know someone that always points with his middle finger. Or on his smart phone scrolls with his middle finger. I personally think this is awful, but he is almost 80. I doubt that he is going to change. And yes he knows about giving someone 'the finger' I think he does it on purpose. That is what it looks like.
Eat what you like and if someone comments, eat them too
ditto on the nail biting - I stopped that in high school by slapping myself every time I bit my nails! Yes, I'm totally serious.
my mother hums ALL.THE.TIME. It drives me crazy! And my sis, and my DH. I always thought that mom's DH couldn't hear it (he has some hearing loss), but he can. He calls her 'his little hummingbird'. oh no...I just remembered that I ask mom to go to a movie on Mother's Day! Good thing the volume in most theaters is way too loud. Hopefully nobody else will hear her.
IME, if people know something they do bothers others then they usually try not to do it anymore. Some habits are hard to break though. There are also some things you may not be able to stop and the person who is bothered may have to be patient or change how they deal with it.
Some people truly don't care and wouldn't change at all but I feel that is rare.
I think people resist change unless they are open to someone else's idea or they see value in changing.
Personally, I don't see playing devils advocate is a bad thing, if it gets people considering that there is usually another side to the story. Folks who insist that the whole world see things their way...usually have flawed logic...because few things in life are black and white.
I think annoying habits...like tapping on tables ... is minor and easy to stop. It's a lot harder to stop someone from constantly finding faults and being negative...and trying to correct that is a delicate problem...especially when it is part of the person's character. That type of person is likely to immediately find fault with the messenger and disregard the issue.
Edited by: SHERYLDS at: 5/9/2014 (12:33)
Sheryl from New Jersey, EST...2015 start wt. 231
Pounds lost: 4.0
Fitness Minutes: (216,135)
5/9/14 12:03 P
When I took calculus in college, I learned that "change" is inevitable. LOL.
What habits have I changed over the years ? lots. I think most of us have formed and re-formed habits as we've aged. I don't bite my nails anymore. Did that a lot when I was in high school. Stopped by the time I got to college.
My family used to berate me for keeping my elbows on the table when I ate. Does that count ? I've known a few tappers in my day. If you told them to stop, they would. For some people that really is an unconscious action.
We've talked a lot about pet peeves and things that bother us about people and their habits and/or personalities but what if, just what IF they were to find out that those things really bother other people? Do you think any change would come about? Do you think they'd even acknowledge it?
A habit I broke after my sister-in-law pointed it out to me was my tapping on the table. I am a drummer and I use to tap-tap-tap on everything and everywhere 24/7. One day about 25 years ago she unloaded on me at a family gathering and I stopped tapping immediately. I come to find out later that EVERYBODY was bothered by my tapping. *whew!* glad I found out early in life!
Another annoying thing I use to do is more recent; on message boards (like this one) I learned a while ago to STOP automatically take an opposing view just because everyone else took a popular view. I always felt like either being a devil's advocate or just being snarky by trying to tear down someone's view on a subject, why? Just because, for my own amusement. I am STILL working on this.
When I was a child I use to hum all the time, my mother would gently remind me to not do it at the dinner table. Come to find out that my aunt would tell my mom that my humming drove her crazy. LOL, so when I DO hum now I catch myself quickly and stop. *facepalm*
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