Grace, that was a most hilarious story! I especially loved your line that your 'eyebrows now live on top of your head'. Oh, what a hoot. I've never seen V8 Green. I know to avoid it now. I really do like V8 juice reg or spicy, but don't care for the fruit blends. I can see my trying this before this story. I'm sorry it was horrible for you, but it was hilarious for me. You made my day.
This reminds me of the children's story, Stone Soup.
You had all the ingredients you needed for a tasty smoothie, no need to make the gawd awful green stuff palatable. I know it's a waste to toss out food, but if you didn't like the V8 in the first place, it would have been better to throw it out instead of invoking your inner sailor.
If you would like to meet your inner swearing sailor the quickest way I know is to purchase V8 green...the following is my experience.
While visiting my mom last weekend I was missing my juice. So I purchased a bottle of v8 simply green juice, no fruit in it at all to off set the green veggies or the lovely spirilina pond scum floating in it. To say it was a putrid concoction that induces an immediate shudder dance accompanied to a steady flow of foul language is a bit of an understatement. It was however fairly pricey and is in fact healthy so rather than flush it I decided I'd bring it home, throw it in a blender with some fruit and voila a healthy and tasty smoothie.
Today I made the smoothie. Remembering how gag worthy this juice was I decided to only use one cup of it thinking it would be easy to mask its foulness with fruit. I then added a cup of frozen blueberries...13 frozen green grapes...and a frozen banana. Gave it a blend and cautiously took a spoonful....a little sip...and OMG...OMG...OMG....it was impossible...it was only slightly less foul....my poor eyebrows were now living on top of my head, and my tongue and tastebuds tried to hide in my throat...my eyes watered copiously and my inner swearing sailor persona appeared and gave a rare demonstration of colorful verbosity.
Don't ask me why...I didn't flush it right then...I think perhaps its malodourous, cantankerous mold inducing vomit like fumes temporarily wiped out my ability to reason cognitively or effectivly....sooooooooooooooooooooooo I continued on my misguided path to not let V8's green juice win. I continued on...stopping and starting many times...
I added 1.5 cups of water...too early to taste..even I know that.... I added watermelon - taste.... - sailor I added lemon - taste.... - sailor I added more banana - taste... sailor..think sailor may be drunk. I added yogurt - taste.... sailor is stuttering I added chia seeds - taste.... - sailor is begging incoherently no more tastes.... I added scoop of vanilla protein powder.... taste....hmmmm no sailor...I think he is unconscious...hiding or both.
My brain may still be inoperative...but seems like I can drink it now. I have two cups in my glass...there are 4 more to go. Sailor may yet wake again.
So yah....don't buy that v8 green juice its a traumatic experience.
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