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MANDIETERRIER1's Photo MANDIETERRIER1 Posts: 13,646
8/29/14 12:58 P

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It irritates me when I see an ad for a store on Facebook. And the women in the ad look healthy. You click on the comments and there are a lot asking why they don't hire real woman for their ads? It has suddenly become fashionable to claim a slim woman is not a real woman.

On the flip side. The ad for Chico's so slimming jeans and pants. They have a woman that while she looks great and healthy for her size. She doesn't seem to need any type of slimming pants. They are either trying to sell me a bill of goods that says that, I will look like her if I buy their pants. Yeah right, even though I am 125 lbs. its not happening.

Or they are trying to say that even at 110 lbs the model is still fat and needs slimming pants. Believe me she is not fat and doesn't need slimming pants.

Made it to my maintenance weight of 125 pounds.

Even though I have reached goal. I still don't know everything about weight loss.

Please read my blog

erinwroteablogyall.blogspot.com/2014
/09/working-on-working-it-out.html


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8/29/14 11:23 A

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A little off topic....My DH is 60. Recently, someone asked him where he was in stationed overseas in WWII. I guessing all this person saw was DH's white hair and assumed he was 85+.



Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?.....Phyllis Diller
ERICREH Posts: 1,880
8/29/14 8:36 A

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If you are different in any way from what people consider the norm, you will probably be picked on by someone.



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NIRERIN Posts: 11,855
8/29/14 7:53 A

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i think the thing to remember is that the problem lies with the people doing this. any category where the person targeted can be qualified as "other" is fair game for them. so if a person was blue, then they would find a way to shame them for it. by the same token that target could be targeted for not being blue. in all cases but ignorance the targeter will find something about the target regardless of if the target is fat, skinny, average, brunette, blonde, redheaded, black haired, straight haired, curly haired, wavy haired, blue eyed, brown eyed, green eyed, of any descent, and i could really go on with every term that could describe a person. in the case of ignorance i think that a decent amount of common phrases have hurtful roots and bringing that to the person's attention in an educational manner is the way to go. enlightening the ignorant is either going to put them into the aforementioned category of people who just want to hurt other people or it is going to make them start questioning the origins of the phrases that they are using and if there is a more appropriate way to convey what they mean.

-google first. ask questions later.

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8/28/14 10:40 P

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Hi! I'm new here. I just want to know if there is anyone here who underwent weight loss and became skinny faced? I used to have fats all over my body and after working out at home for about 2 weeks, I lost weight including what little fat I have on my face. Is there anything I can do to have chubbier cheeks without being fat again?

I've just been told that though I got body curves now, I look old with thin face. Better go back to being fat. It just made me feel bad now I want to do something with my face.

:(

ANDILH Posts: 1,197
3/26/14 1:50 P

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I worked for a psychiatrist who specialized in eating disorders for a long time. I saw people who were dangerously thin, we had a couple hospitalized for other problems (heart failure, kidney failure, etc) due to their extreme dieting. For me, it's pretty easy to see who is dangerously thin and who is either working hard to maintain a healthy size or someone who was graced with good genes. Either way, I don't project my feelings onto them because I don't look like them.
To some extent, I think it's better to see someone who looks amazing because they work so hard at it. Has anyone ever seen the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders reality show? Holy cow those women work hard! I have no bad feelings toward them even though they look amazing. It makes me want to work harder, even though I know I'll never look like them. Everyone should do the best they can and leave everyone else alone. Sadly, I don't think the world will ever really be that way.

MANDIETERRIER1's Photo MANDIETERRIER1 Posts: 13,646
3/25/14 3:09 P

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I have family stick up for me too, Just Dawn. That is really good. Makes me feel a little vindicated. Although my dad just looked at me and asked if I was wasting away. My clothes are too big and I don't want to buy any more clothes until fall/winter. So it may appear that I am wasting away.

Then I cannot win for losing because some people see how much I eat and feel the need to comment.

Edited by: MANDIETERRIER1 at: 8/29/2014 (12:50)
Made it to my maintenance weight of 125 pounds.

Even though I have reached goal. I still don't know everything about weight loss.

Please read my blog

erinwroteablogyall.blogspot.com/2014
/09/working-on-working-it-out.html


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JUST_DAWN65 SparkPoints: (15)
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3/25/14 3:05 P

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he same thing happen mandie, i work my butt off , i eat right learned to revise my favorite recipes etc and had a friend say, yes but you starve yourself, well i had no need to say anything my hubby said oh no she doesnt, she works it off and eats right, !!

SHKIRK Posts: 1,027
3/25/14 3:00 P

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Sorry to say it is the way of the world. People tend to belittle people they are envious of. It is what called a "Defense Mechanism" in social studies.



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TACDGB's Photo TACDGB Posts: 6,130
3/25/14 12:25 P

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It's only up to God to judge us.......no one else. I have lots of people tell me that I am too skinny. I was even told to go eat some potato chips. I have had (so called friends) talk about me behind my back about me being too thin. Not one person said anything to my face when I was 60 lbs. heavier. Not one person took the spoon and ben and Jerry's away from me as I was eating my way up the scales. Not one encouraging word to help me loose the weight. But now that I have done this I get remarks all the time about being too skinny. The world is in a sick sad place. We should not shame anyone for their weight. We don't know the struggles they go through.

Terri


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IAMSHE-RA's Photo IAMSHE-RA Posts: 2,512
3/25/14 11:29 A

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You never know how your words will be taken. A thin person trying to encourage others to live a healthy lifestyle will be attacked for bragging or be accused of expecting everyone to look like her, when in fact, that wasn't her intention at all. A person struggling with their weight gets accused of being lazy, when she actually has a thyroid problem. You never know what is in someone's head. We're not mind readers so we don't know how someone else feels or what their life circumstances are. Never assume someone feels the same way you do.

"I never failed once. It just happened to be a 2000-step process." - Thomas Edison



LADYCJM's Photo LADYCJM SparkPoints: (30,654)
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3/24/14 11:53 P

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I think LuluBelle said it quite well

"The idea that anyone has a right to comment on, or to judge another person's weight is offensive whether that person is thin or fat. "

We should never make comments about someone else's body.

And we need to be careful with compliments : You look great, have you lost weight?" implies that you looked fat and ugly before.

Anorexics need to hear "Eat a cheeseburger" about as much as I needed to be asked "Are you really going to eat that?"

Society, in general, used to be more polite. Now the media is in our faces 24/7, you can be as rude and nasty on line as you want without fear of reprisals and "celebrities" encourage as much exposure as possible (the only bad publicity is no publicity).



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EELPIE's Photo EELPIE Posts: 2,669
3/24/14 7:15 P

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lol... a friend posted it to her FB page too today!

The best exercise in the world is to bend down and help someone up.


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JOYRIDER2's Photo JOYRIDER2 SparkPoints: (1,847)
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3/24/14 7:04 P

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Eelpie - Funny you should mention that comic - a friend of mine just posted it on my Facebook page! I think my essential problem with all the "skinny" comments and the mock jealousy and real jealousy is that, especially for women, other folks think they have a right to comment on our bodies. I'm not ever sure what I hate more: "gentle" suggestions that I lose weight or LAVISH praise when I lose a few pounds. It's my body. Do you hear me commenting on your body? No. Because I respect you as an individual, and I love you the way you are.
Same goes for women picking apart other women's bodies. Thin or not, her ankles are too thick, she has no waist, or GOD FORBID she shows signs of ever having children!
Okay. Rant over. :)



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EELPIE's Photo EELPIE Posts: 2,669
3/24/14 1:54 P

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I saw a joke picture today and it made me think of this thread:

A girl told me how hard it is for her to gain weight.
I said it's hard for me NOT to.
We had a good laugh...then I punched her in the face.

I don't know if the link will work or not...but it made me laugh.
www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1015242382
6053465&set=a.146378783464.135586.1294
46698464&type=1&theater


Edited by: EELPIE at: 3/24/2014 (13:55)
The best exercise in the world is to bend down and help someone up.


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TCOOLEY412's Photo TCOOLEY412 SparkPoints: (8,960)
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3/24/14 1:47 P

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BunnyKicks, You are right, it IS woman "shaming". I never thought of it that way but when my lovely husband and I both gained weight NO ONE commented to him. As a matter of fact several people said he looked "better" with the extra lbs. This was not the case with me.

To the poster who said people just need "to get a thicker" skin. Try living day after day with people insulting your looks whether you are heavy or thin. After a while it just bothers some people. I never got depressed or felt bullied but it was very hurtful and frustrating to hear people make comments about my weight ALL THE TIME when I was younger.



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SUMMER170's Photo SUMMER170 Posts: 42
3/23/14 6:54 P

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A friend of mine was 50 lbs heavier than me. I dieted all that summer and exercised and the weight came off slow, but I was losing..She was doing so great I thought, a lot slimmer than me without all the exercising! I was even a little jealous of her for doing so much better than me. By summers end, She was size Medium at 5'8 and me struggling to get out of a size 4X. She went to visit family over the winter, (so she told me) and last month, I recieved her obituary in a e-mail from her sister letting me know she passed away from pancreatic cancer. I t was a very humbleing and sad expierence, I lost my mom last year from cancer. She to became very skinny..

Edited by: SUMMER170 at: 3/23/2014 (18:57)

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BERRY4's Photo BERRY4 SparkPoints: (138,620)
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3/23/14 6:38 P

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It just seems to me that everyone is so THIN-skinned...quick to take offense. Rude people should be ignored, walked away from, or confronted as such.

Why can't we stick with: "If you can't say something nice, DON'T SAY IT AT ALL!"

We've got this messed up society that somehow thinks everyone else is entitled to yours / my opinion. Who cares? Be a decent parent. Raise your kids right. Teach them right from wrong. And keep your nose out of someone's business unless they ask for your thoughts, opinions. Too many people act like they are still in jr. high school. Grow up!

"We would accomplish many more things if we did not think of them as impossible."
~C. Malesherbes~

"Your mind will be like its habitual thoughts; for the soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts."
Marcus Aurelius (121-180 AD)





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GOALIEGRANDMA3's Photo GOALIEGRANDMA3 SparkPoints: (87,807)
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3/23/14 5:16 P

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Have to admit....when I see a really skinny person running.....I say. ( but not to them) go eat a donut.

My name is Martha.
My new ticker shows me slow as a bunny and going up and down . I want to level out!

2003 : began WW 47 # heavier than now .


"Which we hope ever to do with ease we must first learn to do with diligence."

Samuel Johnson

______



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GEVANS7's Photo GEVANS7 SparkPoints: (67,172)
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3/23/14 2:02 P

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I can relate to Bluenose (sorry for your loss)

When asked what my diet secret was, I couldn't help myself - "I'm on the cancer diet". Better have some fat on your bones before going on this one.

Now that I am in remission and on the road to full recovery, I was called "thick". Yes, thankfully I am able to eat and keep it down, so thank you, I'll be thick again. Better thick than dead.



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BUNNYKICKS's Photo BUNNYKICKS Posts: 2,299
3/23/14 1:42 P

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Seems more like "woman shaming" to me. The VAST majority of the time that i hear comments described below (both the fat- and the thin-shaming ones), they are directed at women's bodies.

Yeah yeah Jay Leno poked a lot of fun at the expense of that overweight politician Chris Christie... but... honestly the amount of times I hear negative comments (fat or thin) regarding MEN, well, when i hear them, they stand out, because they seem not-the-norm to me.

Whereas women's bodies are critiqued continuously.

Do slender guys get told to "eat hamburgers" or "choke on carrot sticks"?? Do heavy guys tell thin guys "well, REAL men have rolls!" Do big guys tanning at the beach get photographed and captioned "look at the beached whale"??

Idk, I'm not a guy, maybe it happens all the time to them, too. But the media is surely a lot more kind to men's bodies, big and small......

Goal 1 - break 200 (46 pounds lost)**DONE**
Goal 2 - leave obesity behind (BMI 29.9, at 185#) **DONE**
Goal 3 - BMI = Normal (154# or less)


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LEC358 SparkPoints: (9,251)
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3/23/14 1:28 P

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It just goes to show that you can't win for losing (sorry for the pun).

As long as someone is healthy and not on track for future problems, what they weigh doesn't matter, IMO. Making unsolicited comments about someone's size (large or small) is the very HEIGHT of rudeness and classless-ness.



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SUMMER170's Photo SUMMER170 Posts: 42
3/23/14 1:20 P

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Its about body image. Yes a person can become to skinny to the extreme point of becomming nearly skeletal, as the overweight can be as much as 1000 lbs +..both need intervention, Not Shameing!



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MJEFFERSON23 SparkPoints: (32,691)
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3/23/14 10:59 A

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Live and let live!

The only "diet" that works is consistency!

NTAGABSF!



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PACAROLSUE's Photo PACAROLSUE SparkPoints: (4,118)
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3/23/14 10:52 A

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People are so used to seeing you heavy, it's a shock to them when you lose a lot of weight, so they think you've lost too much. Sometimes my thinner co-workers would say "You don't need to lose weight," in an effort to make me feel better. I knew better, and would reply "Want to trade bodies?" That stopped them in their tracks.

It's best not to comment, except maybe to tell a person that they look nice, and that could be taken to mean they didn't look nice before. So I say "You look nice today, as usual."

MANDIETERRIER1's Photo MANDIETERRIER1 Posts: 13,646
3/23/14 10:33 A

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I agree Cortney Lee. I am so happy with my progress and I feel so much better. It doesn't bother much that I have been told to eat a cheeseburger.

Made it to my maintenance weight of 125 pounds.

Even though I have reached goal. I still don't know everything about weight loss.

Please read my blog

erinwroteablogyall.blogspot.com/2014
/09/working-on-working-it-out.html


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CORTNEY-LEE's Photo CORTNEY-LEE SparkPoints: (52,082)
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3/23/14 10:23 A

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When I was overweight people told me to "knock off the eats"
Now that I am not overweight people tell me to "eat a cheeseburger"

I can't win and you know... I don't care any longer. I am happy with me :)







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EMPRESSAMQ's Photo EMPRESSAMQ Posts: 5,077
3/23/14 10:15 A

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Thanks to the OP for this thread.

It has been a long time coming on this site.

In my opinion, body sizes come and go as being considered the societal norm. And, again in my opinion, we are at a place in that cycle where it's pretty balanced but smaller sizes are increasingly out and it's okay to bash them and larger sizes are increasingly in and it's not okay to bash them.

Objectively, there is no reason to believe (opinion) that one size body is better than another. Healthy and fit people come in all sizes. Unhealthy and unfit people come in all sizes.

My opinion is that it is NEVER, EVER okay to fat-shame or thin-shame other people & folks doing so should be the ones ashamed.

Have a nice day, everyone. emoticon




Edited by: EMPRESSAMQ at: 3/23/2014 (10:16)
Moving in new directions.


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3/23/14 8:27 A

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I am just the opposite- don't make any statement on my looks or appearance.

I in turn do not make comments on someone else's appearance.

My goddaughter who has struggled with her weight for, well forever looked absolutely beautiful the other day. I think she is losing weight. All i told her was that she looked beautiful.

She has enough pressure to lose weight from others.





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VAINVT Posts: 929
3/23/14 8:20 A

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This was a fascinating article - thanks so much for posting it.

SHERYLDS's Photo SHERYLDS Posts: 11,767
3/23/14 8:11 A

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as someone else said...some people take offense at anything said about their looks.
I am not a person who is insulted by compliments...bring it on, I can take it.

in a society where being thin is preferred, a lot of the skinny shaming remarks sound more like compliments than what their fat shaming counterparts.
IMO only found 4 skinny shaming comments that would really be offensive (1,5, 12, 22) .
A lot of People associate being obese with the concept of gluttony and sloth...,
a lot people associate being underweight with fasting and abstinence...
It isn't right ...but society and the media sets the norms for what is preferable.


Sheryl from New Jersey, USA... EST


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TCOOLEY412's Photo TCOOLEY412 SparkPoints: (8,960)
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3/23/14 7:56 A

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LadyCJM, I hope that no one thinks the second set is any less hurtful.


The issue for me is that people think the first set IS ok because being thin is so great. I am 5'1" in high school I weighed less than 90 lbs. EVERY SINGLE thing on this list was told to me at one time or another. I can add:
~Ethiopian poster child (yep, it was the 80's)
~You need ankle weights or you are going to blow away
~Must be nice to shop in the little girls department (really? at 19 do you want to wear little kid clothes...think 25 yrs ago not current styles)
~People then made ugly comments about how "fat" skinny Traci was now. I have always had major body image problems even when I was thin.

People are ugly if you are not their view of perfect.



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SUZIEQUE77's Photo SUZIEQUE77 SparkPoints: (8,500)
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3/23/14 4:28 A

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Once a lady told me that she "hoped I would choke on a carrot stick." I don't think she realized what she was saying, or how that came out, until it was too late, but all I got from that was that she was very jealous. Maybe this makes me a bad person, but I actually like knowing there are people out there who are jealous of what I have in life, as long as they don't go over board and do something to do me harm. Her saying something like that may or may not have been meant to hurt me (I don't know) but if she wanted to hurt me, it had the opposite effect. Made me to feel good to know she is jealous.

Edited by: SUZIEQUE77 at: 3/23/2014 (04:30)

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LULUBELLE65's Photo LULUBELLE65 SparkPoints: (27,556)
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3/23/14 4:12 A

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@JANIEWWJD--
I think even positive comments should be given with caution. "Oh my gosh, you've lost so much weight! You look so great!" Carries with it the idea that maybe you didn't look great before. And some people just don't want to talk about their weight loss, or the way they look, period.

I think the safest thing to do is to give a generic compliment that the person can chose to address or not. I had a person come up to me and tell me "You look so great; you're positively glowing! What's your secret?" And I thought it was a great compliment because if I wanted to, I could say "Thanks, I've lost 30 pounds since the last time I saw you!" Or I could say "Thanks, It must be the new hair cut" or "Thanks, I just got the job I was interviewing for! I'm really excited!" just "Thanks!" and move on.

Edited by: LULUBELLE65 at: 3/23/2014 (06:19)
If you have formed the habit of checking on every new diet that comes along, you will find that, mercifully, they all blur together, leaving you with only one definite piece of information: french-fried potatoes are out. ~~Jean Kerr

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ~~Anais Nin

Life is too short for self-hatred and celery sticks. ~~Marilyn Wann


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3/22/14 11:15 P

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Unless we are going to give a person (whether skinny for fat) a positive compliment, I believe we need to keep our remarks to ourselves.

Janie Garcia Moreno

"WITH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE"

"PRAYER CHANGES THINGS"

"NEVER PUT A QUESTION MARK WHERE GOD HAS PUT A PERIOD!"

"WHAT THE MIND CAN CONCEIVE AND BELIEVE, IT CAN ACHIEVE!"


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LADYCJM's Photo LADYCJM SparkPoints: (30,654)
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3/22/14 10:01 P

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Why would the first set of comments be okay or less hurtful than the set in parenthesis?

1. "You look anorexic!" (You look like you are morbidly obese)
2. "You're so thin, you make me sick." (You’re so fat, you make me sick”)
3. "Eat a hamburger!" (Don’t eat a hamburger!”)
4. "You look like a toothpick." (You look like a cow)
5. "You're probably too skinny to breastfeed." (You’re too fat to breastfeed)
6. "Do you ever eat anything?" (Do you eat everything?)
7. "Must be nice to be so thin." (Must be horrid to be so fat)
8. "Do you have an eating disorder?" (Do you have an eating disorder?)
9. "You'd look so much better if you'd just put some meat on your bones." (You’d look so much better if you would just get some of that fat off your bones.)
10. "You're too healthy." (You’re too unhealthy)
11. "How can you be insecure when you're so small?" (How can you be insecure when you are so huge?)
12. "You know, my other friend just got help for her bulimia." (You know my other friend just got help for her compulsive eating)
13. "You're so skinny, I hate you." (You’re so fat, I hate you)
14. "Do you need help?" (Do you need help?)
15. "You're skinny. You never have to worry about what you eat. (You’re fat, you can eat anything you want)
16. "'Real' women have curves." (Real women have curves, not mountains)
17. "Why do you need to work out? You're skinny!" (Why don’t you work out? You’re fat)
18. "How much did it cost to get your body like that?" (How much food did it take to get your body like that?)
19. "Of course you're cold! You have no fat on you." ( Of course you’re hot, you have enough fat on you!)
20. "I wish I had your problem." (I’m glad I don’t have your weight problem)
21. "Be careful or you'll get blown away." (On rainy or windy days.) (Be careful, you might melt. (On hot days)
22. "You look like a boy." (You look like a whale)

Neither set of comments should be acceptable! We should be supportive of each other even when we can't understand what it is like to weigh 100#s or 400#s.


And for KJ:
You are too short to be that muscle bound (You are too tall to be that flabby)
Lady

Edited by: LADYCJM at: 3/22/2014 (22:04)

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BLUENOSE63 SparkPoints: (101,509)
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3/22/14 9:49 P

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After my Dad died 7 years ago, my heartbroken mother lost her appetite and she is not a big person to begin with let me tell ya. Anyway she was walking the dogs in the park and this woman stopped her and said "I don't know what diet you have been on but you have to give me the secret" . To which my Mom replied "Have your husband die like mine did after being married for 50 yrs"



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MANDIETERRIER1's Photo MANDIETERRIER1 Posts: 13,646
3/22/14 8:47 P

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I agree with you LuLuBelle

I was thinking that we should celebrate the bodies of woman that have given birth. ALL OF THEM. After all this woman just created another human. Or maybe at one time created another human.



Edited by: MANDIETERRIER1 at: 3/22/2014 (21:42)
Made it to my maintenance weight of 125 pounds.

Even though I have reached goal. I still don't know everything about weight loss.

Please read my blog

erinwroteablogyall.blogspot.com/2014
/09/working-on-working-it-out.html


 current weight: 3.1  over
 
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LULUBELLE65's Photo LULUBELLE65 SparkPoints: (27,556)
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3/22/14 7:02 P

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The idea that anyone has a right to comment on, or to judge another person's weight is offensive whether that person is thin or fat.

I get so angry when I see articles in magazines or on line about celebrity weight "_________ still carrying all that baby weight" "___________ is dangerously thin" "____________'s amazing weight loss tricks" " "_______________'s friends fear for her health"

It's all bullsh*t designed to make women feel like they are never good enough, because if we were good enough, we wouldn't need to buy magazines and products designed to make us look better.



Edited by: LULUBELLE65 at: 3/23/2014 (04:05)
If you have formed the habit of checking on every new diet that comes along, you will find that, mercifully, they all blur together, leaving you with only one definite piece of information: french-fried potatoes are out. ~~Jean Kerr

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ~~Anais Nin

Life is too short for self-hatred and celery sticks. ~~Marilyn Wann


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BJGPUGSLEY's Photo BJGPUGSLEY SparkPoints: (10,216)
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3/22/14 6:34 P

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I have not heard thin people get the kind of remarks that overweight people get. Hope that someday it gets better.



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SHERYLDS's Photo SHERYLDS Posts: 11,767
3/22/14 6:13 P

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I cannot relate to 'skinny shaming' because in my circles people are trying to be slim, but I do think there is a difference between being slim and striving to be underweight. There are people who truly believe: "you can't be too thin". That concept bothers me, but I would never try to shame someone. The truth is, I often feel an underweight person gets treated with more consideration and even respect, than a person on the opposite side of the spectrum. In my mind, even the 'snide' remarks are far less hurtful than the ones aimed at the obese. I know dramatic weight loss attracts a lot of 'skinny' remarks, because people are used to seeing someone a certain way, and some people can't handle change...even if it is someone else's change. But I really don't think skinny people get the abuse that the obese suffer. People tend to wonder if the skinny person is sick or anorexic/bulimic.



Sheryl from New Jersey, USA... EST


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KJFITNESSDUDE's Photo KJFITNESSDUDE Posts: 15,787
3/22/14 5:33 P

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I have been on the receiving end of muscle comments as in I look gross being short and muscular.

Tough world.

USING SP TO HELP YOU KEEP TRACK OF WEIGHT LOSs, CALORIE INTAKE AND EXERCISE "IS" THE SHORTCUT!!!!!!
sTOP TRYING TO CONSUME A MAGIC WEIGHTLOSS PILL, OY!
MANDIETERRIER1's Photo MANDIETERRIER1 Posts: 13,646
3/22/14 4:46 P

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Good comebacks Eelpie. So far it is just family that tells me that I am getting too skinny. So I cannot use those. My friends think I look great and cheer me on. I don't care what strangers say or think.

I love it when people tell me that I am thin and have no clue what it is like to be overweight. Ummm, let me show you my pictures from seven years ago

Edited by: MANDIETERRIER1 at: 3/22/2014 (16:49)
Made it to my maintenance weight of 125 pounds.

Even though I have reached goal. I still don't know everything about weight loss.

Please read my blog

erinwroteablogyall.blogspot.com/2014
/09/working-on-working-it-out.html


 current weight: 3.1  over
 
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ETHELMERZ SparkPoints: (83,637)
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3/22/14 4:18 P

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A few months ago, while my husband was going through daily radiation treatments for cancer, there were quite a few women there who were "skinny", and they ALL said they would be so happy to be fat again.

Plan for tomorrow, but enjoy the heck out of today.


EELPIE's Photo EELPIE Posts: 2,669
3/22/14 4:05 P

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Some of these are just pure jealousy. And that's fine...but I've included my responses:

2. "You're so thin, you make me sick." (here is an air flight sickness bag)
7. "Must be nice to be so thin." (It is, thankyouverymuch)
13. "You're so skinny, I hate you." (umm...wtf??)
16. "'Real' women have curves." (I guess I am a pretend woman??)
18. "How much did it cost to get your body like that?" (I just saved a lot of money from not overeating...thankyouverymuch)
21. "Be careful or you'll get blown away." (then take my safety seriously, and stop all the hot air coming out of your mouth)
22. "You look like a boy." (last time I went pee, I noticed I was all woman...thankyouverymuch)

The rest are ignorance at best. But I've always got a supply of comebacks for morons, anyway:

6. "Do you ever eat anything?" (No. I live on air, and air alone.)
15. "You're skinny. You never have to worry about what you eat. (Ever think that's how I stay this way?)


The best exercise in the world is to bend down and help someone up.


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MANDIETERRIER1's Photo MANDIETERRIER1 Posts: 13,646
3/22/14 3:09 P

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I have been told to eat a muffin or a cheeseburger.

I don't know if it is jealousy or concern. Some people I know got to my size by starving themselves. So they assume that I did the same. I did not, I eat plenty. Just not as much and not like I used too

Made it to my maintenance weight of 125 pounds.

Even though I have reached goal. I still don't know everything about weight loss.

Please read my blog

erinwroteablogyall.blogspot.com/2014
/09/working-on-working-it-out.html


 current weight: 3.1  over
 
5
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0
-2.5
-5
LADYCJM's Photo LADYCJM SparkPoints: (30,654)
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3/22/14 3:05 P

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Okay, I admit I had a bit of a WHAT? reaction when I saw this head line on MSN today.

How/Why would anyone “shame” skinny people? Isn’t that what we all want to be? Then I started reading links to various articles and its sad read that people feel its okay to comment on everyone’s body. No one, no body type or weight is safe or perfect or even just okay!

I borrowed the following from various articles, copying sections that hit home with me. I know I am not perfect, I know I have body issues, I know I can be judgmental but I hope I am becoming a better person.

“As a society, we’ve come to know that shaming someone for their large size is publicly unacceptable (although the media doesn’t seem to hold back), but what about those who are on the thinner side? Is “skinny shaming” acceptable only because people strive to be thin themselves?”

Is this just jealously?

“We feel obligated to feel bad about our bodies. If we feel good about our bodies, we’re snobs and bitches, and we’d rather feel fat than snobby or bitchy, and if we say what we’re really thinking, no one is going to believe us anyway.”

Is this why we can’t accept a compliment without feeling bad? And why so many of us have issues with food, emotions and our bodies?

“We’re not supposed to judge plus-sized women because that is wrong, and I am in full agreement with that. So how did that judgment morph into the judgment of small girls? I’m genuinely curious: what’s the ideal weight? At what point is a person going to say, “You look really good,” and be totally fine if looking good means overweight or skinny? When is the skinny-shaming going to stop?”

“I used to blame comedian and actress Mo'Nique for her degrading "skinny bitches" sketch, where she attacked thin women like myself and called us "evil." There was no laughter erupting from my mouth because I knew that her animosity was a reflection of a deeper body image issue. And instead of using comedy as a platform to illustrate why all women should love the weight they're at, she ripped smaller ladies to shreds.”

“The beauty of human beings is that they don't all look the same. Unfortunately, our frustrating standards of attractiveness get in the way of acknowledging the awesome diversity of women's bodies. Everyone probably slips up from time to time and says something you later regret about another woman's figure. So to avoid those mean-spirited comments in the future, we asked our Facebook and Twitter communities for things that you should never say to a skinny woman.
Readers, strike these phrases out of your lexicon once and for all:
1. "You look anorexic!"
2. "You're so thin, you make me sick."
3. "Eat a hamburger!"
4. "You look like a toothpick."
5. "You're probably too skinny to breastfeed."
6. "Do you ever eat anything?"
7. "Must be nice to be so thin."
8. "Do you have an eating disorder?"
9. "You'd look so much better if you'd just put some meat on your bones."
10. "You're too healthy."
11. "How can you be insecure when you're so small?"
12. "You know, my other friend just got help for her bulimia."
13. "You're so skinny, I hate you."
14. "Do you need help?"
15. "You're skinny. You never have to worry about what you eat.
16. "'Real' women have curves."
17. "Why do you need to work out? You're skinny!"
18. "How much did it cost to get your body like that?"
19. "Of course you're cold! You have no fat on you."
20. "I wish I had your problem."
21. "Be careful or you'll get blown away." (On rainy or windy days.)
22. "You look like a boy."

I’m not skinny; 150#’s at 5ft6” is a normal weight. Yet, I’ve heard these comments and more.

"In other words, don't make assumptions about a woman's health or eating habits based on her looks alone -- regardless of her size. Almost all of us could stand to be kinder to ourselves about our appearances, and to other women about theirs.

As it is natural for people to feel a tinge of jealously toward others more desired than themselves, trim sexy beasts have to deal their fair share of mean-spirited comments too. Since there aren’t broadcast quality cameras and mics documenting such behavior, supersized TV junkies wrongfully assume that the lookers of the world live a shaming-free existence. In truth, nobody does.

Attempting to shape self-expression (via political correctness) is a weak “solution” to shaming. As Bill Gates said, ‘before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent’s generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.’

Can we just let each other make healthy decisions without the raised eyebrows and points and mock-concern? You’ll know when you need to be concerned, and maybe there will come a time when you do need to sit down with your over-zealous friend and discuss her health choices, although I truly hope not. But until then, trust that most of us are making healthy choices for the right reasons, and your support will help us get there quickly and happily.”

I wonder if there is a way to fight back? To let the media know that commenting on bodies is wrong?
That as a society we do not want or need to be judged on what we look like?
Have you run across this? Have you been guilty of fat/skinny shaming? Sad to say, I have seen both here on Spark.




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