Okay, I admit I had a bit of a WHAT? reaction when I saw this head line on MSN today.
How/Why would anyone “shame” skinny people? Isn’t that what we all want to be? Then I started reading links to various articles and its sad read that people feel its okay to comment on everyone’s body. No one, no body type or weight is safe or perfect or even just okay!
I borrowed the following from various articles, copying sections that hit home with me. I know I am not perfect, I know I have body issues, I know I can be judgmental but I hope I am becoming a better person.
“As a society, we’ve come to know that shaming someone for their large size is publicly unacceptable (although the media doesn’t seem to hold back), but what about those who are on the thinner side? Is “skinny shaming” acceptable only because people strive to be thin themselves?”
Is this just jealously?
“We feel obligated to feel bad about our bodies. If we feel good about our bodies, we’re snobs and bitches, and we’d rather feel fat than snobby or bitchy, and if we say what we’re really thinking, no one is going to believe us anyway.”
Is this why we can’t accept a compliment without feeling bad? And why so many of us have issues with food, emotions and our bodies?
“We’re not supposed to judge plus-sized women because that is wrong, and I am in full agreement with that. So how did that judgment morph into the judgment of small girls? I’m genuinely curious: what’s the ideal weight? At what point is a person going to say, “You look really good,” and be totally fine if looking good means overweight or skinny? When is the skinny-shaming going to stop?”
“I used to blame comedian and actress Mo'Nique for her degrading "skinny bitches" sketch, where she attacked thin women like myself and called us "evil." There was no laughter erupting from my mouth because I knew that her animosity was a reflection of a deeper body image issue. And instead of using comedy as a platform to illustrate why all women should love the weight they're at, she ripped smaller ladies to shreds.”
“The beauty of human beings is that they don't all look the same. Unfortunately, our frustrating standards of attractiveness get in the way of acknowledging the awesome diversity of women's bodies. Everyone probably slips up from time to time and says something you later regret about another woman's figure. So to avoid those mean-spirited comments in the future, we asked our Facebook and Twitter communities for things that you should never say to a skinny woman.
Readers, strike these phrases out of your lexicon once and for all:
1. "You look anorexic!"
2. "You're so thin, you make me sick."
3. "Eat a hamburger!"
4. "You look like a toothpick."
5. "You're probably too skinny to breastfeed."
6. "Do you ever eat anything?"
7. "Must be nice to be so thin."
8. "Do you have an eating disorder?"
9. "You'd look so much better if you'd just put some meat on your bones."
10. "You're too healthy."
11. "How can you be insecure when you're so small?"
12. "You know, my other friend just got help for her bulimia."
13. "You're so skinny, I hate you."
14. "Do you need help?"
15. "You're skinny. You never have to worry about what you eat.
16. "'Real' women have curves."
17. "Why do you need to work out? You're skinny!"
18. "How much did it cost to get your body like that?"
19. "Of course you're cold! You have no fat on you."
20. "I wish I had your problem."
21. "Be careful or you'll get blown away." (On rainy or windy days.)
22. "You look like a boy."
I’m not skinny; 150#’s at 5ft6” is a normal weight. Yet, I’ve heard these comments and more.
"In other words, don't make assumptions about a woman's health or eating habits based on her looks alone -- regardless of her size. Almost all of us could stand to be kinder to ourselves about our appearances, and to other women about theirs.
As it is natural for people to feel a tinge of jealously toward others more desired than themselves, trim sexy beasts have to deal their fair share of mean-spirited comments too. Since there aren’t broadcast quality cameras and mics documenting such behavior, supersized TV junkies wrongfully assume that the lookers of the world live a shaming-free existence. In truth, nobody does.
Attempting to shape self-expression (via political correctness) is a weak “solution” to shaming. As Bill Gates said, ‘before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent’s generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.’
Can we just let each other make healthy decisions without the raised eyebrows and points and mock-concern? You’ll know when you need to be concerned, and maybe there will come a time when you do need to sit down with your over-zealous friend and discuss her health choices, although I truly hope not. But until then, trust that most of us are making healthy choices for the right reasons, and your support will help us get there quickly and happily.”
I wonder if there is a way to fight back? To let the media know that commenting on bodies is wrong?
That as a society we do not want or need to be judged on what we look like?
Have you run across this? Have you been guilty of fat/skinny shaming? Sad to say, I have seen both here on Spark.
| Pounds lost: 95.0