I think the reason it takes many of a long time to accept that it is about "me and what I decide to do" is because it is so much easier to blame others or things outside of our control.
"I'm fat and unhealthy because of the choices I make everyday" is a hard mouthful to swallow.
I'm fat and unhealthy because of "fibro, genetics, my mom, the cafeteria food, my sore knees, the car accident...." is a much more palatable mouthful.
When we decide to take responsibility for ourselves and our decisions its the beginning of a painful journey.
When I have to accept the fact that I am eating because I am mad at my hubby for what he did but I don't want to confront him about is hard. It's easier to shut my mouth with a ding-dong then to tell him what he did was hurtful. Owning our feelings and dealing with them is harder than turning down free cookies!
We all have our challenges. We have to decide how go deal with them.
If you want to run a marathon but your legs have been amputated you have to look for a new way to meet your goal. It doesn't matter how you run the race as long as you are racing.
My personal paradigm shift was from "I'm happy with my lifestyle and my body just as they are, and food is just an enjoyable part of it (Calories? What are they?!)" to "Calories and nutrition are important - but I still gotta love the lifestyle".
The shift was just as swift as that answer on the subway - caused by a doctor telling me that the only way I could get rid of a painful hernia that was putting a serious crimp in my lifestyle would be to get down to a healthy BMI and stay there.
I looked for some new tools (the tracker and recipe sites), learned how to use them (and how to cook!), found a permanent place for this in my daily priority list that fits comfortably in to my life, figured out how to get the nutrition and thoroughly enjoy it - and here I am, with the hernia repaired.
It seriously went from being something that I never thought about to being close to the top of my priority list in the course of a single sentence. Since it was so important to me, I took my knowledge of myself (this must be permanent, so it must make me happy) and created the balance of food and lifestyle that works for me.
I can only imagine how much more difficult it would have been if my whole perspective hadn't changed about what was truly important to *me*.
After many years of trying to lose weight all the wrong ways, the paradigm shift is happening for me now. I am slowly realizing what it means to make a lifetime commitment to healthy eating and regular exercise, and the patience it takes to really understand that the weight did not come on in a week or a month or six months and that it's unrealistic to expect miraculously fast weight loss.
I'm hoping that I have made the "paradigm shift". I think I have made the change, the question is if it's permanent.
There were so many things that contributed to the mental change. Feeling ill, size 20 pants, unable to climb stairs, feeling ugly inside and out.
It took "a 2x4 along side my head" to beat the need for change into me, but it finally happened.
I think the hardest thing is accepting that it's all about me and my decisions. I am responsible for me. You are not. I am not responsible for you. You are.
By that I mean, no one holds you in a head lock and pours chocolate syrup down your throat. No one ties you to a chair and forces you to eat an entire package of Oreos. No stands next to you and says "If you exercise, I'm going to kill your family".
I can't expect any one else, co workers, family or friends, to take responsibility for me. It's okay for them to bring home pizza. I am responsible for the decision to eat it. It's okay to have birthday cake at an office meeting. I am responsible for the decision to eat it.
It's my responsibility to weigh every day because that is what works for me. It's my responsibility to weigh and track my food, to decide to exercise.
I can't blame any one else. I can't blame genetics for my eating a gallon of ice cream. Or my sore knees for eating a pound of candy. It's me.
My paradigm shift developed when I realized that I was becoming more and more insulin resistant even while eating all the 'diet friendly' low fat foods. And the more I read, the more I realized that TRACKING what I was eating was critical to acknowledging what I was doing. You can eat all the low cal products and end up eating a whole lot of calories...and delude yourself into thinking that you are trying to lose weight. My paradigm shift also took place with understanding that I am my greatest saboteur. Like the song goes....Nobody does it better.
I love the Zen story about the cup of tea "Nan-in, a Japanese master during the Meiji era (1868-1912), received a university professor who came to inquire about Zen.Nan-in served tea. He poured his visitor's cup full, and then kept on pouring.The professor watched the overflow until he no longer could restrain himself. "It is overfull. No more will go in!""Like this cup," Nan-in said, "you are full of your own opinions and speculations. How can I show you Zen unless you first empty your cup?""
Your view point or your perspective towards a particular thing completely changes in flash of a time. That’s Paradigm shift.
Covey has the best example of a paradigm shift: he was traveling in a subway, a man gets in with his two sons, the sons are running all over the place bothering the people, this continues, so he finally gets irritated enough to ask the father why he doesn't do something to control his kids. The father replies, "We just got back from the hospital where their mother died. I don't know how to handle it and I guess they don't either." Suddenly you see the everything differently. That is the power of a paradigm shift. They are the same kids yelling and screaming in the subway, but you look at them and understand them in a different way.
I will admit, paradigm shifting is hard, EXTREMELY hard especially for those who hold strong unwavering opinions about topics they may not have all the facts about like in the case of health & fitness.
Once I realized that exercise alone will not make me healthier or lose weight I had a major paradigm shift in my thinking about health & fitness.
All the "short cuts" I would seek like eating yummy snacks but maybe the fat-free or low fat versions or eating very little at breakfast or anything else other than the straight and forwardness of just eating the right foods (even the yucky ones we all hate like veggies).
I am constantly reminded of how I went through a paradigm shift when I read post after post here of folks essentially asking about "short cuts" rather than nose to the grindstone count calories and exercise (strength and cardio).
Have you made the paradigm shift yet? It's like when Neo (the Matrix) finally sees the virtual for what it really is.
Edited by: KJFITNESSDUDE at: 3/14/2014 (12:35)
USING SP TO HELP YOU KEEP TRACK OF WEIGHT LOSs, CALORIE INTAKE AND EXERCISE "IS" THE SHORTCUT!!!!!! sTOP TRYING TO CONSUME A MAGIC WEIGHTLOSS PILL, OY!
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