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But Lord, I don't deserve this!



 
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EOWYN2424
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11/25/13 11:12 A

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I'm so sorry to hear abt your dd, suzie! God bless u and your family!

Hugs,
Elaine



 
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SUZIEQUE77
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11/25/13 4:24 A

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EXOTEC said: "but it's my feeling that life just *is*. It's a flawed notion (IMHO) that we "deserve" anything - good OR bad. Things happen. Sometimes we can affect them to a degree. But the big things (and sometimes small things too) aren't rewards or punishments. That whole line of reasoning sets us up for such misery and frustration! I won't subscribe to it."

I fully agree. I feel terrible for your situation. I did Google SLE with one quick search didn't find that much, but it sounds like your case is extreme. So sorry to hear that. I hope that they find more help for you. Would a kidney transplant be an option or would the same disease ruin the new kidney as well?

I do not believe in sayings like "Everything happens for a reason." My husband doesn't believe it either though I think he used to believe people often "get what they deserve." We don't believe it any more. Many evil and terrible people seem to skate through life with few problems or health issues while others such as innocent young people get diseases, sometimes life threatening, and sometimes that actually take their life. We lost our DD at age 24 due to a heartattack. She didn't deserve that and we didn't deserve the emptiness left behind when she was gone. Her innocent 5 month old (at the time) son didn't deserve to have to grow up without a mother.




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FENWAYGIRL18
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11/24/13 4:35 P

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It's okay for you to be mad and to vent, we all need to vent sometimes, God Bless you!

Starting to like the new me!
Waiting for my garden to come to life!


 
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EXOTEC
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11/24/13 4:12 P

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AZULVIOLETA6 ~
I agree with you. I don't want to hijack this into a theology discussion, but it's my feeling that life just *is*. It's a flawed notion (IMHO) that we "deserve" anything - good OR bad. Things happen. Sometimes we can affect them to a degree. But the big things (and sometimes small things too) aren't rewards or punishments. That whole line of reasoning sets us up for such misery and frustration! I won't subscribe to it.

OP ~ I am so sorry to hear about the dialysis. I hear from others how awful it is. I can't imagine myself in such a position, endlessly. I have an autoimmune condition too, which is going to kill me, slowly. I know that feeling, at least. I fight it, but I know it's going to win, eventually. I'm going like a mule, though. I have no intention of cooperating, or of lying down and giving up in defeat.

Meanwhile, I try to see the white space instead of the dark. That can be an insurmountable challenge some days... in those times, it's good to have a place to rail and vent, so please come here and let us give you what "pats" we can.

Feel better. We're rooting for you.
emoticon

Edited by: EXOTEC at: 11/24/2013 (16:12)
...the problem with people these days is
they've forgotten we're really just animals ...
(attributation forgotten)

We did not create the web of life; we are but a strand in it.
~Chief Seattle

We don't have souls. We ARE souls. We have bodies.
~C.S. Lewis


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R3DROBIN
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11/24/13 1:44 P

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woa. slow down. you sound exactly like me before I truly found my faith. YOU MUST HAVE FAITH IN GOD! no matter the struggle no matter the mountain in front of you no matter the diagnosis from a doctor YOU MUST HAVE FAITH IN GOD!
do not question why me...do not question why do others have/have not...just HAVE FAITH IN GOD that he is for you, not against you...keep your faith strong when you are at your weakest and HE WILL PROVIDE!! He will bring you through this to the other side...do not let a mortal doctor determine your life and your outcome...PUT IT IN GODS HANDS and HE WILL PROVIDE!

please...keep praying...stop asking and just have faith...go blindly deep into your faith and you will not be led astray. God bless you xoxox



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MISSJANE55
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11/24/13 1:19 P

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At least we HAVE dialysis. Can you image what your life would be like if you had this horrible disease and there was no dialysis?



AZULVIOLETA6
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11/24/13 12:57 P

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You are not being punished, these things are random. There is no REASON at all.

The idea that bad things only happen to bad people, and that the good things that happen to us are things that we deserve? Well, it isn't actually true if you really think about what is going on in the world around you.

Dances: salsa (standard/LA), casino, rueda de casino, cumbia Colombiana, bachata, mambo, cha-cha-chá, merengue, reggaetón.

Currently learning: Mexican cumbia, danzón, Cuban rumba

Dances to Learn in the future: flamenco, tango Argentino, samba, belly dancing, bhangra, ballroom rumba


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EMPRESSAMQ
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11/24/13 11:21 A

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No, you do not deserve your illness and it is, in my opinion, totally okay to feel as you feel about it and be mad.

Many blessings and may you find peace and strength.

emoticon

Moving in new directions.


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LOLEMA
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11/24/13 9:59 A

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We all have been dealt issues beyond our control. I have survived a sexual assault at a young age, my first child had open heart surgery at 4 months of age and is healthy 25 year old today.

I personally feel that God only gives us what he knows we can handle. There is good in all things, you just have to find the positive in a negative situation.

I hope things get easier and come to terms with your diagnosis. Attitude is everything!

Hugs n Prayers your way!



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RENATA144
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11/24/13 9:54 A

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I always wanted children but I was never so Blessed. It Kills me.

Edited by: RENATA144 at: 11/24/2013 (09:55)
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MLAN613
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11/24/13 8:17 A

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Life is what's unfair. God is just. Sometimes God allows tough things to happen to good people so we learn to better lean on Him through the tough times by praying and leaning on Him.

And just remember, there are many bad people out there who seemingly get away with everything during their earthly life. But, unless they turn to God, they will be eternally damned to Hell. Yes, they will get their just reward in the after life.





EOWYN2424
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11/24/13 3:53 A

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I'm not wishing anything on anybody. I'm just saying that there I don't deserve such a fate. That if God was looking for anyone to give illnesses to, there are better candidates than me.



 
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FAITHP44
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11/24/13 3:50 A

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I really understand what you're saying, and it's OK to say it to God as well. He wants us to be honest and real with Him - but also to respect, honour, love and fear Him. After all, when you're going through the mill, the last thing you want to do is to fall out with the One who can help you through.

I don't believe God put this sickness on you. We live in a fallen world and sometimes bad things happen to good people as well as bad people. (Have you read the book of Job recently?)

God's word to you today is, 'I love you. I know what you're feeling. I want to walk with you so closely that you can feel my heart beating with love for you. Don't pull away from me out of anger or hurt because I want to walk this path with you.'

Isaiah 43 says:

“Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you.
I have called you by name; you are mine.


When you go through deep waters,
I will be with you.
When you go through rivers of difficulty,
you will not drown.
When you walk through the fire of oppression,
you will not be burned up;
the flames will not consume you."

And I'm praying for you for a complete healing for you, because God is also the One who heals.




XHUNTERX
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11/24/13 3:17 A

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'I, who has never schemed to hurt anyone'

And yet you're wishing bad things on other people and basically saying that they deserve to have horrible illnesses...

I'm sorry about your disease - but seriously, being 'upset with God' and with the rest of the world won't make it any better



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LADYCJM
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11/24/13 2:57 A

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Sounds like you are having a bad day! I hope it gets better for you.
No one deserves ill health, even horrid people!
It doesn't have to make sense to us
Life happens and all we can do is our best.
As my grandma always tells me, count your blessings because it could be worse.

Blessings to you and I hope your day gets better.



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EOWYN2424
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11/24/13 2:05 A

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I'm still very upset with God! I have to go for dialysis for the rest of my earthly life becoz of SLE (Pls don't ask me what is SLE! Google it!).

I know of many ppl who are mean, selfish and unkind; but yet they are still enjoying good health and wealth. So, why am I, who has never schemed to hurt anyone, struck down with chronic illness and ESRF (end-stage renal failure)?!

What about those ppl who live off ppl's misery like poacher, pimps and drug lords? Why are they free to enjoy their ill gotten gains while ppl like has to suffer like this?! Where is God? Why is He unleashing his anger on me when I've done nothing to deserve this! I can't even travel anymore becoz I will have to arrange for dialysis overseas!!!!

I know that there ppl who are even more unfortunate than me, but right now, all I can say is that God isn't fair to me and a lot of ppl!



 
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