Since my parents have always been right about the guys I dated. ( like 100% of the time) I would never marry anyone they had reservations about. I know thats old fashioned.
If I had 'not' listened to them every time. I can guarantee, beyond a shadow of a doubt. I would be the most miserable woman, ever.
I don't believe in divorce, so I'd be stuck. (Except in extreme circumstances)
I know that when we turn 18 we are supposed to have acquired the knowledge to fill infinite encyclopedias. ( my parents, brothers and sister, have acquired enough knowledge to fill encyclopedias times infinity)
Ok well that is an exaggeration, but they are older and wiser. I think it is a good idea to listen. To someone older and wiser.
Just my .02
Made it to my maintenance weight of 125 pounds.
Eat what you like and if someone comments, eat them too
I married my husband before my parents met him and when he came home with me to finally meet them, my Dad, brothers and nephews gave him the riot act (fine time) however, he can correct and they have adored him ever since! I knew he was a keeper! My parents opinions count for a lot and I have a lot of respect for them! Sometime,s they see what we don't!
Edited by: SUNSET09 at: 11/21/2013 (21:16)
Total SparkPoints: 196,335
SparkPoints Level 21
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7,041 11/21/13 9:09 P
My parents didn't really care I guess they liked him when he was doing things for him, but my parents weren't very loving so why would they care who I chose. His family loved me right away and his friends mom couldn't believe what a nice girl he found and asked if I had any sisters hahahaha I met my hubby through a newspaper ad and his friends mom said wow I can't believe you met such a nice girl with good morals from the newspaper! hahahaha
Starting to like the new me! Waiting for my garden to come to life!
Total SparkPoints: 115,113
SparkPoints Level 20
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11/21/13 10:22 A
Mine were crazy about him from the start. I used to joke and say that if we ever broke up, my family would choose him to stay in the family and let me go. Glad to say we are still together and going strong after 27 years.
I don't think others opinions can doom a relationship, but they can certainly strain it and increase stress.
Robin VA EST
Pounds lost: 79.6
Fitness Minutes: (17,859)
11/21/13 9:22 A
It's been a LONG time back (I've been married 29 years), but my parents tended to keep their opinions to themselves unless they thought a real catastrophe was imminent. I was the baby and the only girl, so I wasn't allowed to date much before I met my DH, and those guys usually didn't last long enough to become "meet the parents" material.
My dad warmed up to my hubby pretty quickly once he realized they had a love of hunting and fishing in common. It was really neat to have my dad ask him to go along on trips. My mom does ask DH's opinion on things and seems to trust him, which is a good thing since my dad's been gone.
As far as my in laws, my FIL was very easygoing and friendly, so I got along with him right off the bat. MIL, on the other hand, was always very friendly on the surface but always seemed to be watching for something to comment on or criticize. I think she was glad when we got married because it meant one less body--they had 6 boys in a 2 bedroom house. After all these years, I'm still on my guard around her, which is kind of sad really.
Fitness Minutes: (9,981)
11/20/13 10:29 P
My grandma met him for five minutes and announced "this one is a keeper". The next day my grandpa started introducing him around as his "future grandson-in-law". We had only been dating a couple of months with no talk of engagement. It's a miracle he didn't turn tail and run as fast as he could!
Yes my parents liked my SO a lot from the very beginning and they thought he was a very good person, a gentleman, intelligent...
"If a person wants to be a part of your life, they will make an obvious effort to do so. Think twice before reserving a space in your heart for people who do not make an effort to stay."
"Your happiness is up to you. Whatever happened in your life to make you who you are up until this point is irrelevant. It is your responsibility now to take control and change your life to be what you want it to be. Energy and persistence conquer all things. Make time, not excuses."
I don't know. I've been married for almost 14 years and very happy with my dh. We knew each other just about 8 months before our wedding day.
My parents kept their opinions mainly to themselves. I didn't ask what they thought of dh. They never said to me that they didn't like him before we married or at any point since. I know they did tend not to say when they disliked someone or something though so who knows how they felt about dh at first.
My dh apparently was told by his family that he didn't have to marry me. I don't know that they disliked me personally or just thought he should not be getting married to anyone at that time of his life. I wasn't part of the conversation.
I think if parents really don't like their son or daughter's spouse and they show it then it could increase/cause a strain in the marriage. They might be a source of conflict if the person feels they have to constantly choose between their parent or spouse. Or the parent might be more likely to actively encourage the person to break things off if there are any problems in the marriage.
My mom didn't like him when we first went out. I was 16 at the time and he was a bit older, and I'm sure the motorcycle didn't help his cause. Years later after we were married, mom admitted that she misjudged him. Usually she was such a good judge of character but she got him wrong and also my sister's (now ex-) husband, who mom initially liked. Guess it can be tough to be objective when it comes to your kid's happiness.
"This life is what you make it. No matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth....Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will, sweetie?" - Marilyn Monroe ______________ jan
They didn't not like him but they were concerned he was going to interfere with my college education and didn't want me to get married early. When we announced our engagement my parents offered me a car to break it off. They absolutely love him now 25 years later and all has worked out well but I'm their only child and daddy's little girl so any guy is not OK.
Lay aside life-harming heaviness and entertain a cheerful disposition.
Well, I doubt it was doomed "because the parents didn't like" her/you. However, with their extra time on earth/life experience and with the way that parents have of annoyingly tending to know-you-better-than-you-know-yourself... they may have been more perceptive to the potential problems you would be likely to encounter, than you were at 23 and in love.
There's a difference I think, between "liking" your fiance and "recognizing a good match" (or lack thereof).
Goal 1 - break 200 (46 pounds lost)**DONE** Goal 2 - leave obesity behind (BMI 29.9, at 185#) **DONE** Goal 3 - BMI = Normal (154# or less)
My mom told me NOT to marry my now ex-wife because my mom said she was self-ish and controlling. My ex-wife's parent's didn't care much for me because I had no education after high school and I was 23 years old going no where fast. Maybe the marriage was doomed because our parents didn't like their children's choice of significant other.
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