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FINISHINGRACE
FINISHINGRACE's Photo Posts: 73
10/8/13 10:25 P

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MAWMAW101
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9/28/13 10:24 A

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I must say I still eat too fast. Yesterday I had lunch with a friend and my meal was gone before she finished her salad! I grew up in a large family where there were NEVER any left-overs!
Now that is just an excuse but it still lingers.
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Phyllis ~~~~
2014 Motto--Finish what you started!


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JANTHEBLONDE
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9/28/13 9:50 A

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AZULVIOLETA6
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9/27/13 10:58 P

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Eshara, it is great to have a plan, but I hope that you are tracking all of that and looking at the actual macronutrients each day. That looks like a massive amount of carbs (good carbs, but still WAY too many) and not nearly enough protein. Even though that is all healthy stuff, it's a lot of volume and likely over your calorie range. Nobody needs 6 servings of fruit in a day (6 servings of veggies, yes!) in addition to three servings of bread...plus potatoes, plus oatmeal...that is something like 300-400 carbs in just one day.

I'm only a bit smaller than you, but if I ate your "ideal" plan, I would gain at least 5 pounds in a week.

If you are snacking too much and not feeling full, this could be why...more fiber, more protein, more liquid, and fewer carbs could serve you better.

Edited by: AZULVIOLETA6 at: 9/27/2013 (23:07)
Dances: salsa (standard/LA), casino, rueda de casino, cumbia Colombiana, bachata, mambo, cha-cha-chá, merengue, reggaetón.

Currently learning: Mexican cumbia, danzón, Cuban rumba

Dances to Learn in the future: flamenco, tango Argentino, samba, belly dancing, bhangra, ballroom rumba


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ESHARA43
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9/27/13 2:12 P

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I am happy to say that my weight is finally coming off. to look at me you wouldnt think so but I weigh 229.6 lbs now and i will update my weight tracker soon. I want to make sure that it reads right so I am going to walk on my treadmill later today after I come home from shopping that is.

Susan

Live life to the fullest because you never know when it will throw you a curve ball.
“Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal.”
“Wisdom is knowing what to do next, skill is knowing how to do it, and virtue is doing it.”
“You are successful the moment you start moving toward a worthwhile goal.”


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FINISHINGRACE
FINISHINGRACE's Photo Posts: 73
9/16/13 8:30 A

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I'm hoping this thread hasn't burned out already.

KD



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FINISHINGRACE
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9/13/13 5:33 P

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One specific thing lingers from childhood--eating fast. Somehow I guess there was a fear of never having enough. Even though I know now that I will not starve--I eat like there's some kind of eating competition going on. Funny...I was out eating with some OA members at a steak house while away at an out of town get-together. I was practicing slowing down and intentionally put my fork down between bites. The waiter thought I was through and promptly removed my plate! Want to venture a guess on the lesson I learned?

KD



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VKKESU
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9/13/13 10:09 A

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Eshara43 ....... If they are eating healthy first, then at least they are getting good nutrition before they go for junk food.

Personally, I don't keep junk food in house. I may get something twice a month but it's never expected. Next time you go to store, forget to pickup the sweets. Make peaches w/ cinnamon for a desert ? They may be happy with that.

Keep in mind if you take care of yourself first, many time they will learn good habits and benefit from you doing this. You can't make a spouse eat well (believe me I know) My husband is the skinny fat person. He also doesn't eat from pleasure or comfort, he eats only because he'll pass out if he doesn't. I have to tell him to NOT buy sugar treats because it destroys my will power and he is normally really good about it when he shops.

I struggled for months trying to get on the wagon again, and didn't until I finally admitted to him I needed his help by not having it in the house. I explained as well as I could how bad my cravings are and that I have no self control at the beginning. I also explained it to my kids, as embarrassing as it was, that's what finally got me in the "right mental state" to start this journey.


Edited by: VKKESU at: 9/13/2013 (21:38)
If you don't love yourself....how can you expect others to.


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ESHARA43
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9/11/13 1:09 P

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Thanks everyone, you all gave me a wake up call and i will be doing it my way because my healthy is more important that anything right now. my oldest son is obese and my youngest is slim but has a little belly on him even though he is only 12. My boyfriend is heavy set as well and i try and cook healthy food for them but after they eat they go for the sweets and junk food.

this is my plan for the rest of this month

breakfast

1 glass of 2 % milk
1 small bowl of protein oatmeal
1 slice of toast with low fat butter
1 slice of melon and 1 small orange

lunch

1- 8 oz glass of water
1 glass of 2% milk
2 slices of whole wheat toast
cuccumber and tomatoes
1 medium apple
1 banana

dinner

1 cup of coffee
1 glass of water
1 medium sweet potato
1 piece of meat the size of a deck of cards
1 1/2 cup of garden fresh veggies
2 pieces of fresh fruit ( Melon & banana

for exercise I will be doing the following

30 minutes x 3 of core exercises
30 minutes x 3 of treadmill
30 minutes x 3 weights ( 3 lbs and 5 lbs )

if I can do this for the rest of the month then I will be happy.

Susan

Live life to the fullest because you never know when it will throw you a curve ball.
“Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal.”
“Wisdom is knowing what to do next, skill is knowing how to do it, and virtue is doing it.”
“You are successful the moment you start moving toward a worthwhile goal.”


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VKKESU
VKKESU's Photo Posts: 969
9/11/13 11:51 A

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The sad part is the way we are raised makes us who we are. We either try to be like it or try not to be like it, but it does affect us.

My story is a bit different on one side. I was always the active "skinny" kid growing up. I had a heavy brother. He was very active but didn't get the metabolism I had. I grew up feeling guilty about being the smaller kid. Now, he is obese, and I continually struggle (yo-yo) with 30# .

I LOVE the taste of food, and it's always been comfort, and my sugar addiction is out of this world. I think my main motivation is spite for an ex. lol He was mean, and always told me I'd grow up to be a fat , ugly, b*, like his mom. That's one satisfaction I'll never give him.

Finding your emotional triggers (boredom, anger, frustration) was a huge wake up call for me. Also seeing my family struggle with diabetes and weight, I know I can't let it get to out of control because it will take over too quickly.

Most of my friends from school that I still see once a month or so are heavy. I'm smaller than they are, but again, they tease me about being the "tiny chick" although I'm 30# too heavy. That guilt kicks in and I feel I need to eat the junk they eat...... and my cravings start in when that food is around me which keeps me from losing.

It's all a mental game, and one that I'll always have to work on.

If you don't love yourself....how can you expect others to.


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HAPPYGIRL743
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9/11/13 11:13 A

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ESHARA43-it seems to me you've set impossible goals for yourself?! Perhaps out of frustration and anger, I understand that. Your family sounds even worse than mine, don't understand how people can be so mean. Good luck and post some more, we want to hear from you, Jo



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SIMONEKP
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9/11/13 10:24 A

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It plays a role, when your emotions are out of wack you lose some ability to exercise the self control necessary to control your intake and if you're already prone to overeating, then you might just do that.

Simone

"Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish." - John Quincy Adams

No matter how slow you go, you're still lapping everyone on the couch!
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CURRY56
CURRY56's Photo Posts: 51
9/11/13 7:28 A

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I too, eat to emotions. My worse one is when I am tired. I just crave food like crazy. Sometimes also, I think before I go eat, but then I feel like maybe there won't be food for tomorrow to eat. Not sure why I think that way sometimes because I have never been without food ever. To be of the mindset that I don't need that second helping or have to eat it all at that time and then I get disgusted with myself for doing it...



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G33K10V3
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9/11/13 4:40 A

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But ESHARA43 you're not ugly... and you may not be able to lose 75 lbs by November. If your family says you're fat and ugly I think that they're being huge jerks and that is definitely NOT COOL......
Your post makes me want to go and punch them in the face. I've been criticized by my family too and you know what? My cousin who used to torment me more than anyone has THREE obese kids now and she is on her way to obesity herself. Karma is gonna come back to everyone so we all really need to be aware of how we are really treating people.

Edited by: G33K10V3 at: 9/11/2013 (04:41)
"Ordinary people believe only in the possible.
Extraordinary people visualize not what is possible or probable,
but rather what is impossible. And by visualizing the impossible,
they begin to see it as possible."
~Cherie Carter-Scott~


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LADYSTARWIND
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9/11/13 1:37 A

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ESHARA43....please don't get hung up on actually losing 75 lbs before November!! You could be so very disappointed in yourself---but really---unless you have already lost more than the 25lbs your ticker shows (Way To Go!!) 50 more pounds in 7-12 weeks is quite ambitious.... If you aim for a steady weight loss of 2 pounds a week--THAT is do-able!! And you can still be so very proud of yourself.... I hope you have a wonderful visit in November!!
patti

PS...Your ticker doesn't quite make sense with your post....If you weigh 233 now...you can't have 242 to lose?!! Or did I read it all wrong... (which I am known to do!!)

Edited by: LADYSTARWIND at: 9/11/2013 (01:39)
"Its not the Mountain ahead that wears you out, but the grain of sand in your shoe..."


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ESHARA43
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9/11/13 1:28 A

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I am in the same boat as you all because i was skinny when i was young but put on alot of weight after i had my kids. now i am fighting with it. i was weighed when i went for an appointment last week and i weight in at 233.6 lbs. i cry alot because it bothers me to have my friends losing weight and me gaining. i am so depressed and i find comfort in eating. i know i shouldnt and i am telling you this, my habits are going to change big time. no more crying over something that doesnt matter anymore. i am going to start by eating healthy foods and snacks more. leaving the junk food along and walking 3 to 4 times a day on my treadmill and exercising alot. i want to lose 75 lbs before november. i dont want my big brother to see me fat and ugly. yes i see myself as fat and ugly because when you hear it from the ones you love you feel it and you know its true.

Edited by: ESHARA43 at: 9/11/2013 (01:29)
Susan

Live life to the fullest because you never know when it will throw you a curve ball.
“Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal.”
“Wisdom is knowing what to do next, skill is knowing how to do it, and virtue is doing it.”
“You are successful the moment you start moving toward a worthwhile goal.”


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BASIAJ1
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9/10/13 9:41 P

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I am on the same boat. I've been there and done that!!! But now my sugar is in 130 range and I don't want to take meds. Trying eating right , weight my food---but my scale won't move!!! If it was winter I would think it froze - ha,ha B:)



AVISLYNN
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9/10/13 9:26 P

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Hi -- just wanted to weight in on this topic. This is my first day of weighing in, and I'm being torn emotionally. I've lost and then regained weight so many times....is this just another yo on the long yo-yo cycle? I hope not, but it's hard to ignore history..... emoticon

I've always been emotional about food, both positively and negatively. It took the place of emotions in my life for many years when I was young. I finally learned to recognize that fact, but knowing it and being able to control it......two very incompatible things.

So, I'm just going to jump in and give it another try, and try to stay positive about making it a long term effort, picking up and going on after stumbles instead of stopping and putting on the blinkers again.

Thanks for listening (reading), and hope to post again, and read your comments again, soon! emoticon



NLMARSHALLJX
NLMARSHALLJX's Photo Posts: 117
9/10/13 3:53 P

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Obesity and emotions are tied so close together. Even growing up I remember when I was sad or upset I was given food. If there was a death in the family then people brought over food. If there was a celebration, of course food was brought over. Food was used for everything. To hide emotion and to celebrate emotions. As I grew older I ended up doing the same thing. Until I realized that using food to celebrate or mask my pain only cause bigger problems. Now I embrace my emotions and find other activities to deal with my pain or sadness. I reward myself with a new exercise or just something I've never done before. Instead of rewarding myself with food.



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G33K10V3
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9/10/13 6:48 A

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For me, growing up, honest emotions were frowned upon. There were no hugs or I love yous on a daily basis and showing emotions like sadness or pain made you weak.
That was a long time ago and now I'm still battling through learning how to manage my emotions in a healthy way.
A lot of times when I am outside walking I just cry. A giant wave of emotion just washes over me for no particular reason and I have to let it out and once I have I always feel better.
I think there will be hundreds maybe thousands more of these little outbursts for me but I am okay with that.
I think that all humans are emotional like that, one may deal with it by smoking a cigarette and one may deal with it by eating a candy bar. What is important to me now is that I'm always very honest with MYSELF and my family about my feelings and I'm not afraid of seeming weak. I'm not weak, I'm way strong and if I can get over this hurdle with my weight then I know there is nothing I can't make it past.

"Ordinary people believe only in the possible.
Extraordinary people visualize not what is possible or probable,
but rather what is impossible. And by visualizing the impossible,
they begin to see it as possible."
~Cherie Carter-Scott~


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FREEDOM710
FREEDOM710's Photo Posts: 122
9/10/13 12:17 A

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At present, I allow myself to feel the pain or emotion. It became to painful for me to keep covering my pain with food.

"Put one food in front of the other.....If you want to change your direction" Lyrics by Jules Bass,Producer, Composer & Author


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ELLY2017
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9/9/13 9:37 P

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Edited by: ELLY2017 at: 9/9/2013 (21:38)


MAVERICK59
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9/9/13 6:37 P

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F me the reasons behind the tears are not that easy to separate. The emotions and ways of dealing with them are deeply ingrained.

Today I can do or undo; the choice is mine.


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HAPPYGIRL743
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9/9/13 2:42 P

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WOW, just read through this post and I'm amazed at the emotions!
My mindless eating started when I had young children, no money for a babysitter and a husband off doing his own fun things. 30 years later I'm still resentful. Oneluf4liz-eating the cookie dough I hear ya, actually laughed out loud, didn't know anyone else did that! I will sit in front of the TV (when I'm alone) & eat & eat thinking, "I deserve this, I've worked hard all day."
Yes, people can be so mean - one person that never misses an opportunity to point out my weight is my MOTHER of all people! I agree keep negative people away. Since I don't like her controlling ways I sometimes eat to spite her.
And I get no support from my husband, which is why I appreciate all the support here.
WE ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL!!!! Jo



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SLRAYA
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9/9/13 2:12 P

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CharMarie,
You can do it! emoticon
I'm on my own journey and had pain when I started also. I feel soo much better today and its only been 5 weeks.
Stay positive and keep telling yourself you can.
Also get your nutrition on track and increase your water. Have to pay attention and feed the body what it needs to be the miracle that it is.
Message me anytime for support.
Stefanie



CHARMARIE1962
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9/9/13 2:01 P

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I am so proud of you! And...I thank you for your post; it has given me inspiration as I begin my journey! I'm really scared right now. I just exercised for the first time in awhile, and I could only do low impact walking for about 6 minutes. The video on YouTube was only 10 minutes long, and I couldn't quite make it! I feel pretty pathetic right now, but I have to keep on hoping that it will get better. I'm just so afraid of losing hope! Please pray for me.

Hugs!

CharMarie



ONTHEPATH2
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9/9/13 10:50 A

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For me I had to just stop the craziness. Funny, we call it comfort food - the carb loaded stuff that tastes good while we eat it, reminds us of grandma's house or something warm and fuzzy and after eating it usually feel like curling up and taking a nap. I had to really look at what I was eating and why.

I mindlessly eat when I am bored and no one is around. I can binge eat. Half dozen donuts, bag of chips, no problem. It tastes good while I am eating it, by the time I am done with it, it no longer tastes so good AND then I see the results on my body or the scale..... UGH! Which leads me to hate myself for what I did and the results I now see. Which leads me to staying home, isolating and of course boredome and eating more!!!

First step - get out of the house and stop being bored! Or stop being bored while in the house! Find a hobby, a project, volunteer --- do something to help me feel good about me! At first I started knitting simple scarves - to donate to charity. Kept my hands busy so they weren't putting food in my mouth. Then I started walking, taking photos, exploring --- started posting on my facebook photos entitled "where's barb?" from my walks. Amazing the statues in parks I never saw, neighborhoods I never walked - right outside my door in my home town. Side effect - a few less lbs on the scale, a feel good from doing something for someone else, a greater sense of my community...

Emotions, eating they are all woven together - its part of life. Celebrations all seem to include food ---- but try to focus on the other things out there that are part of life too! Instead of focusing on that buffet line at the wedding, get out on the dance floor!

I am truly enjoying life more, now that I am less obsessed about food!

Barb
Grand Rapids, MI
EST



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SLRAYA
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9/9/13 10:36 A

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Emotions play a huge part in your weight loss success. You have to dig deep and find the positive energy and let that flow. Tell yourself you can do this!
I've been through the wringer recently with personal family drama (adultery) and have come out the other side a stronger person. I will not wallow in the drama and will replace eating with exercise/movement/play. It's up to you to be the change.
Also drinking water is a key factor. Ladies should be drinking .5 oz. of water per pound of body weight per day. So if you are 200 pounds you should drink 100 oz. of water. Just a guideline to follow, of course if you are more active you will need to take in more fluids.
Another key factor is increasing your metabolism. Diet is the solution here. Increase your protein intake!! Another guideline to follow is take in 1 g lean protein per 2 lbs of body weight. Again an example, if you are 200 pounds than you would need 100 grams of protein / day. Some people will say to eat less, others will say more. Talk to a nutritionist about what the right percentage is for your body. Personally I've increased my protein and water intake and have lost 10 pounds and 11.5 inches. I've baselined my BMR (basal metabolic rate) and will go to gym today to track my changes. Good luck and happiness all!



KLEIOPATRA
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9/9/13 9:19 A

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I understand that. I work in an office setting where most of the people are incredibly fit (but were overweight/obese in their youth) ... so they'll sometimes make fat comments. I know they're not directing them at me, but it's easy to feel like they are.



FIFIFRIZZLE
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9/8/13 4:53 P

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Chicken and egg? Now, after a lot of reading and thinking things through, I think for most of us, malnutrition makes us eat too much of the wrong foods. From the wrong foods come the chemical changes in our bodies that produce the bad emotions and the cravings. Our environment is obesogenic and this includes inhuman demands on us in the workplace.
The cruelty induced by the stigma against being overweight contributes to the pain of being overweight. I don't know one fat person who doesn't know they are fat, and who hasn't suffered because of their fatness. I know fat people whose fatness began as a result of medication or injury. I know many fat people who have made superhuman efforts to lose weight, only to get fatter. When I see fat, to me it represents terrible suffering. I respect the strength of those of us who carry on despite our suffering, and those of us who are finding our way to get through the best we can.
I don't know what to say except, what I say to myself. Keep on taking the best care of yourself that you know how. If that isn't getting you the results you want, find another best way to take care of yourself. Repeat, until you are happy with where you find yourself. Then... Keep doing what works for you.

Reframing my thinking to release excess weight forever.

If you always do what you always did... You always get what you always got!


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ILOST150POUNDS
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9/7/13 7:10 A

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When I was losing my weight I kept a little emotions journal. I learned what emotions pushed my food buttons and developed ways to fight it. I ate from boredom, sadness, anxiety, etc. You name the emotion - I ate from it.

It is still something I have to be aware of. Losing the weight does not cause the emotions to get lost as well.

I write and blog about my 150 pound weight loss experience at: www.fittothefinish.com/blog


RENEEN86
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9/7/13 4:57 A

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I'm just thankful that I'm not an emotional eater. I used to struggle with depression (I was actually partially hospitalized). I'm hesitant to judge someone for the things they do while in the midst of that. I know that I made a lot of bad choices when I was unhappy. Depression manifests in everyone differently which means we turn to different forms of coping. So I think, yes, for some their struggle runs much deeper than mere disappointment over their weight.

Edited by: RENEEN86 at: 9/7/2013 (05:02)

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MISSYGEEN
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9/6/13 7:53 P

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When I realized that I was eating my emotions mostly being lonely I tackled that emotion and lost weight. I accepted being single and took a look at all of the wonderful people that I am blessed to have in my life. this helped me to get rid of the late night rendezvous with ice cream and cookies. I thought that I tackled that monster but then I lost my job and the old habits crept back in, not the late night binges but the fast food and other bad eating habits. So my emotional eating has not yet been fully tackled but at least I am now aware of them and working on this latest battle.

I also think that this is a good post in order to help those of us that have struggles.



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MANDIETERRIER1
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9/6/13 4:10 P

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Personally I am an emotional eater. I am starting to recognize my triggers which is a good thing. Sometimes I just don't care and eat anyway.

I did cry over my weight. Usually when I get on the scale and I have plateaued.

I am very dramatic and that usually plays a part in my eating habits.

Made it to my maintenance weight of 125 pounds.

Even though I have reached goal. I still don't know everything about weight loss.

Please read my blog

erinwroteablogyall.blogspot.com/2014
/07/why-oh-why.html


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JANTHEBLONDE
JANTHEBLONDE's Photo Posts: 5,544
9/6/13 2:58 P

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ELLY2017
Posts: 59
9/5/13 9:49 P

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Oh my, you speak for me BeldonDog1. I always think that while it is terribly hard to give up cigarettes, you don't have to smoke to live! Not so with food. emoticon



BELDONDOG1
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9/5/13 8:58 P

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This is the first time I have written on a message board, but I just wanted to throw my two cents in the ring.

One of my best friends was really hooked on drugs when she was young and even into her 30's. She's used anything that anyone gave her without batting an eyelash. I'm afraid to take a Tylenol. However, I hate to say that, I liked to and still do, enjoy eating. We got hung up on this conversation that really had no ending to her. She just couldn't understand why when a person gives up drugs, others are happy. However, when a person loses a lot of weight, everyone gets really excited and proud. It's not fair, she said--it was hard for me to give up on the drugs. And granted, it was. But being hooked on drugs you are taking them by choice. You don't see pot or heroin on tv ever commercial tempting you to come and get it. You do with food. If you don't do your drugs, you won't die, but if you don't eat, you will!
Maybe someone should outlaw all the commercials for fast food like they did for cigarettes. lol


BLESSED ARE THEY WHO CAN GIVE WITHOUT REMEMBERING
AND RECEIVE WITHOUT FORGETTING

'Never look down on anyone unless you are helping them up"
Jesse Jackson

"We can complain about the rose bushes having thorns or rejoice that the thorn bushes have roses---Abe Lincoln


Noel, Ohio


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82719541
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9/5/13 5:12 P

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bitsandpieces38 I am glad to know someone does not turn to chocolate for emotional comfort. If chocolate was not invented I would be a lot smaller. I have learned to control the urge by leaving a tablespoon in the chocolate chip bag and when I truly feel the urge I take only a tablespoon full. For me I do it when I am alone when my husband is gone I guess maybe I feel lonely and use the chips to fill the void. But I am doing it less and less so there maybe hope after all.



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BITSNPIECES38
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9/5/13 3:50 P

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I see a big differences in the relationships of obesity because of emotions, or emotions due to obesity. Certainly there are more in the latter category than in the former.

I don't turn to food when I'm emotional or upset, I don't wolf down my food, I don't binge, I don't care for sweets, I don't consume chocolate, and I never want to partake in office treats so I don't. But I've definitely broken down and cried because of my weight - the last time because an old high school friend of mine and I arranged for a private dinner together over the holidays, and he actively kept telling me it would only be three of us - and when I got there, 30 other people showed up. He knew I would have taken a pass if he had told me it was a large group.

My input to output ratio is severly skewed, and I need to be more active. A lot more active.



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MERLUSYNE
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9/5/13 2:41 P

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FinishingGrace -- I too, would be considered "obese" by doctors. But I stubbornly refuse to attach that word to me because there's so much baggage attached to it, so much societal judgment, years of being told by doctors that I am lazy, that I do not have the self-control needed to turn my life around. Conversely, so much of the advice I have been given is bad advice. To be honest I'm beginning to think the whole world has issues, one way or another in relation to food. We're just the more obvious targets.





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TINAONEROM
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9/5/13 2:22 P

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I like so many others are trying to find other ways to stop my emotional eating..and it is so hard when you feel like you have no support from your spouse! For me at this point I am focusing fully on me and my goals and where I want to be for the rest of my life! It is what I say and I think that counts about myself not anyone else!



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NEWMEXICOPARROT
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9/5/13 12:11 P

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Food gives us comfort for a number of reasons and emotional eating has always been a downfall for me.



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XCLOSED
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9/5/13 11:56 A

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This has evolved into a nice conversation about problems with emotional eating. Wholly appropriate and a conversation we need to have. Very different from the earlier discussion and original questions/statements, and I would add to those who spoke out against it, kudos and I would add it is not ok to chew out people who speak out against bashing and discrimination, as happened here.

Yeah, there was some bashing going on here (I won't name specific posts, it is clear in the reading), and what's worse, if you are obese, then it is fat people bashing fat people.

There is nothing wrong with discussing discrimination and issues of judgment. It is wrong to tell people to stand aside, go away, don't show up, crack the jokes and then duck and cover, poke the bear. It is not funny, and sadly, there is a rash of judgment and discrimination against the obese, all races, both genders, akin to the discrimination against races, religion, disabled and other protected classes endured.

When is the last time you tolerated statements such as "I assume that the stupid thing the race person did because they have inferior genetics", or "the protected class type people are repulsive", or or or, just substitute weak, inferior, lazy, whatever.

And there is a pattern of judgmental bashing going on not only here, but recently across the threads (and prevalent in society) justified in the name of just my opinion, or I was talking, and also smacking people who oppose it. Not ok.

Are you furthering the stereotypes? Are you inviting people to pile on?

That is different than a discussion about how do we stop discrimination (in hiring, housing, medical care, social groups, in public, public facilities/services, on simply the right to be out in public living our lives) or how do we overcome difficulties with emotional eating, problematic lifestyle issues, consistency, access to help.

Just calling a spade a spade here, and I will speak against it when I encounter it, here and in society. I have been silent too long. Too many are silent. Rosa Parks had it right when she sat down.

If this applies to you, this is not likely to change what you are doing until enough people say

emoticon and emoticon against it.



Edited by: XCLOSED at: 9/5/2013 (11:59)


CICELY360
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9/4/13 9:57 P

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I think a lot of obesity is related to emotions, whether you were an obese child or began struggling with weight as an adult. I know I have to watch myself because the scale either stops or goes up when I have negative emotions.



82719541
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9/4/13 9:54 P

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I know what you mean about people and what they say. I am having an issue with my legs cramping up and hurting after I walk, so I asked the question on Yahoo about what I could do. They asked for more information so I said I was 5'1 and weighed 127 was 59 years old and walk 5 to 7 miles a day but some days it can go as high as 12. One of the answers I got back was maybe if you lost 20 pounds I wouldn't have that problem, and this is from someone I never met and knows nothing about me. People have changed so much there is no caring or sharing they just want to make themselves feel better so they need to make someone else feel horrible about themselves. My weight is not an issue its maintaining my weight which I keep very close tabs on is what I need to focus on. So everyone who's trying to lose weight even if its only ounces you lose per week its a great feeling and don't let anyone tell you differently. We need to stick together and support each other if other people don't like it that's their problem.



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UMBILICAL
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9/4/13 9:17 P

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CMIDD917
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9/4/13 8:52 P

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I feel intense judgment from people regarding my weight. People in my life seem to always make comments about "fat' people...In front of me! I take it so personnally, and i feel like a failure because of my weight. It is a constant battle not to assuage my pain with cakes, candies and pies. I would rather people slap me.

CMidd

Every accomplishments starts with the decision to begin.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.


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SUNFLOWERGAMMY
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9/4/13 8:40 A

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Well said. emoticon

Sunflowergammy
Team Leader for:
The SONflowers
Paleo Partners
Homeschooling Pre-K through High School



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LILLITH32
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9/4/13 7:53 A

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Food, emotions and obesity, its a vicious little circle. You feel bad, so you get sugar/carb cravings; You overeat and gain weight; You feel bad because you gained weight, and crave carbs and sugar. Our culture doesn't help. Our 'well meaning' friends and relatives rarely help either. For everyone, the way to break out of the cycle is different. It's like a drug addiction and alcoholism, and unfortunately, most of us will have to be vigilant for the rest of our lives about every morsel we put in our mouth and every minute of exercise we do a day. There will always be highs and lows, and we just need to take it one day at a time, not get discouraged and work towards our goals. It's a lifestyle change for us, and maybe we can make it a culture change as well.



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NOMOREGODDESS
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9/4/13 1:17 A

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When I was heavier I caught myself looking at things more negatively and being more pessimistic just so I could justify binge eating. It is hard to admit but I felt as if I had trained myself to choose a more unhappy life just so I could allow myself more food. At some point I think it turned into a which came first overeating or negativity? emoticon emoticon



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LBURGDORF
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9/3/13 1:42 P

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Growing up my family centered all celebrations around food... we would have family dinner around the table every night.. holidays involved family and friends coming over to visit and stay for dinner... if we were sick Mom would make our favorite foods.. heck Gramma made me custard for when I had my tonsils out... food was comforting and associated with good times.. portions were huge... you were encouraged to clean your plate.... seconds a given... never did we learn about portion control.. the importance of a healthy, balanced diet... we never worried about exercise as chores involved stacking wood, mowing the grass, walking the dog... weekends us kids would get to watch morning cartoons until nine a.m. then tidy our room and told to go outside to play... that involved riding our bikes, playing hide and seek, building forts, swimming in the summer and ice skating in the winter... I never had a weight problem until I was at college for a year... my activity levels decreased but food intake did not... I guess my point is that I never thought about food and my emotions... it was not an issue until I had gained the weight... even then it was only when I had put on 60 lbs that I began to look at food differently.. it became my enemy yet also my best friend...
Counseling helped me put things in perspective... as I dealt with the troubles from my childhood... the need to comfort myself with food disappeared.. I am not saying the struggle was brief or that I accomplished it in one try but I am happy to say today I have a once again healthy relationship with food... it is wonderful... I eat to live! To nourish my body! One must look inside themselves to re-establish a healthy mind and healthy body... that can be a very scary thing..

Life is meant to be lived....
How we live today influences our tomorrow....
Never take life for granted or it may take you for granted...


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ELSELTZ
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9/3/13 12:39 P

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What a wierd thing for your MIL to say, 82719541!

Afraid to die? What about wanting to enjoy the life you have? Be able to do more, live more, play more, give more!



HOPE30LOSE
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9/3/13 8:43 A

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Really need to pray hard when I get stressed. I still find myself turning to carbs but most times I am able to resist. Walking helps.

Trust in the Lord


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OUT_OF_MY_TOWER
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9/3/13 6:38 A

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develop your coping skills and embrace the beauty of self discipline and stop listening to what "they" say. Being able to handle life better will eliminate how frequently you need to eat to deal with your mother in law.



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GENRE009
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9/2/13 8:03 P

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Got rewarded with a sucker as a child, "pretty little girl!"
Went to food for emotional comfort.
Then I went to food to calm myself down. Ate carbs to over load my system ,so I'd want to rest.
Grazed all day long, cause they say that's how we are suppose to eat, six mini meals. Lost my hunger clock.
Chewed gym when I was bored, then I ate mindlessly in front of the tube.
Was taught that I needed to entertain my mouth, while I visually entertained my sight, at the movies. Now I eat mindlessly every time I sit down to watch something.
Can't seem to enjoy any holiday, or persons without it being all about the food.
Friends bring you down into their bad habits of eating. That's how they bond. The list goes on, & on...

Edited by: GENRE009 at: 9/2/2013 (20:05)


GRANDMABABA
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9/2/13 6:58 P

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Though I'm about where I want to be, I still find there are times and triggers related to emotions. Sometimes I need to give in to a small amount of the food or type of food I crave. Anything else just won't satisfy. As long as I don't let the food take charge, it doesn't seem to hurt the cause.



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82719541
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9/2/13 4:17 P

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For me was if I stayed away from my mother-in-law I did fine, but when she enters the picture things go bad for me. Her favorite line to me is You are afraid to die that's why you watch what you eat and you walk all the time. How's that for a statement to help you lose weight, but it did help me lose weight I wanted to prove her wrong. she has not seen me since mothers day I can't wait for her comments because I lost my weight plus I surpassed my goal weight' I always try to tell myself its only because she is way over weight. Thanks, just writing this made me feel better.



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ELLY2017
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9/2/13 2:54 P

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I know one key is finding substitute behaviors for the times that we typically use food for comfort, to dampen anger, etc. Sometimes this works - a quick walk around the block, a glass of water. emoticon Sometimes I do those things and the impulse to food remains really strong and doesn't go away. At those times, I either binge or let myself mindfully enjoy something that isn't your typical diet food. Slowly eating a half a Hershey with almonds with some tea can seem like heaven. emoticon That can be enough and then I don't feel like I blew it. The key is really listening to what you body and heart are saying. I'm not very good at that, but I'm trying to do better.

The other issue for me is it always seems easy to eat, but less easy to do an alternate behavior - for example, I can scarf down food at my desk at work, but not go off and do yoga. emoticon

Edited by: ELLY2017 at: 9/2/2013 (14:55)


JASMINEMARS
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9/2/13 2:16 P

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Food can have a powerful pull and it is easy to use it to comfort ourselves - particularly when we have a "screw everything, what's the sense of anything, my life sucks and everything sucks and I am a big loser" attitude.

I don't know what the solution is. I guess all we can do is try to protect ourselves from negative influences and bad situations as much as possible. Yes, it is true - no one will take care of you. If you don't take care of yourself, then you're basically screwed.

One thing I want to try is to be more organized and simple. And arrange my life better so it involves less stress and less negative people and situations. Maybe that will help calm my emotions so I can be healthier.



SIRENALEANNE
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9/2/13 1:49 P

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I think for many its a viscous cycle. Being unhappy makes them eat more, and being over weight makes them unhappy and the cycle keeps turning. I know from experience. I don't emotionally eat as much any more. emoticon

"The future is no place to place your better days."
- Dave Matthews Band, Cry Freedom

"Gotta do much more then believe, if we really want to change things." - Dave Matthews Band, Gaucho

Start Small - End Big - Don't give up! - You can do it!
https://www.fitbit.com/user/2433HT


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UMBILICAL
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9/2/13 1:45 P

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They fit together



MARIEWINDSORA
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9/2/13 12:17 P

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There are so many sad & happy things on this board. I am really touched that we have all seem to overcome emotional, mental, & physical abuse. I, too, have bad days where things are really difficult & reality is so frustrating & overwhelming. I am back on track today after a week of whatever. I have to care about myself because no one else will.



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ITSABSURD
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9/2/13 8:30 A

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I'm still working on expressing my emotions without food.



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ALNMSN123
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9/2/13 5:19 A

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I just with Spark coach. I need all the help I can get. When things get tough I go to eat. I feel so pathetic, worthless, disgusting, like it would be better if I was not hear at all.



FINISHINGRACE
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9/2/13 12:34 A

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It's nice to see some new people joining in on the message board. Our histories are probably similar in many ways and different in some others. The beauty is that we're all here seeking a permanent (yep, I said that word) solution--together. There will be bumps in the road when we don't succeed in executing our plans perfectly, but we will be here for you and you for us.

We are headed in the same direction...some will end up at the finish line sooner than others, but even that won't mean they're finished practicing a healthy lifestyle.

Spark offers some great challenges that anyone can join; for that matter, we could start a challenge of our own for this message board. Think about it.

KD



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SHERYLDS
SHERYLDS's Photo Posts: 11,530
9/1/13 1:01 P

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SHARRIGAN3....I've been there.
At my condo ... I've had 'friends' anonymously leave weight loss flyers on my car windshield. Isn't THAT a nice way to start the day. I was annoyed and frustrated...
I think Some people think that it is perfectly acceptable to openly criticize your weight...and Some think they are helping us by doing it.

Yes there are idiots in this world...we just need to keep doing what we need to do,
to get to where we want to be.

USA EST


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SHARRIGAN3
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9/1/13 11:36 A

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Lolajean you're not alone. I am a very emotional person. I grew up in a house where I was verbally abused as far back as I can remember. I was never good enough, or pretty enough. That mentality stayed with me all through life because nobody told me different. For me (and I just realized it this week) I felt like I was in control of my life when I ate. Because I could eat as much as I want and nobody could tell me anything about it. The truth is those people were still controlling me because I was eating things that were hurting me just like they were. What I lack is support!! I joined a weight loss challenge at work and after I lost the first 10lbs people felt it was ok to tell me all the things that were said about me or what they thought about me being fat. What's even sadder is that a part of me wanted to go back to my original weight just so all the comments would go back in the box. After all I was still fat!!!! Now I realize how destructive my behavior really is. I'm working on portion sizes, and eating better overall and I know little by little I'll gain control of my life back, be able to build my self esteem, and become a healthier, happier person.



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CSROBERTSON621
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8/31/13 11:24 P

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Emotions definitely play a role, though they were not the whole story for me. I can't say that I always manage to avoid emotional overeating, but recognizing that the problem exists helps to fight the urge. Journaling my food is also a big help -- I don't worry too much about an occasional indulgence (regardless of the reason for it), but if it becomes a pattern it's easier to see it and change it.

Starting Weight: 260 lbs. (November 2010)
Quasi-Maintenance: 165 lbs. (June 2011)
Goal Weight: 150 lbs. (reached December 8, 2011)

Size 22W to Size 4

Currently maintaining within 5 lbs. (+ or -) of goal. I weigh daily, but also use a tape measure and the fit of my clothes to guage how well I'm doing.


SHERYLDS
SHERYLDS's Photo Posts: 11,530
8/31/13 8:40 P

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BETTYBOOPLOLLY...your response sounds like you already have some of the answers.
is this the emotion of feeling helpless or are you afraid of change.

You put on weight since you quit working. {not active and eating too much}?
You like fried food...and you seem to know that it is a problem for you.
You deal with a lot of cravings. Processed foods and junk foods increase cravings.
Your husband cooks and doesn't create healthy dishes. But maybe since you're not working you could help change the way both of you are eating ... everyone benefits.
You don't like water but you're trying to drink water.
You are a late night eater and it's the wrong stuff...why not change what you snack on and do it earlier or not at all.
you want help.... but you have the answers...you are the only one that can do this for you

get a hold of the Sparkbooks and get started doing the steps.
read the spark articles for lots of great suggestions
do some of the spark videos
it's all here

Edited by: SHERYLDS at: 9/1/2013 (20:52)
USA EST


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BETTYBOOPLOLLY
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8/31/13 6:50 P

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I have gained so much weight since I quit working. I love to eat anything that is fried. I have such a difficult time not eating. Since my husband does all the cooking, he cooks only fattening foods. I don't like water but I am trying to drink water. I always get hungry about 9 or 10 at night so I go straight for the ice cream. I need help.



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SHERYLDS
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8/31/13 8:46 A

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"fear the pressure of gaining it all back"

When someone says that, I sometimes wonder if they fantasize being able to go back to old habits...which Would probably put the weight back on. No question that maintenance is as tough as losing. But when you have the mindset of living a healthy lifestyle...and you monitor your weight...you have the tools you need to keep the weight off.

Fear is an interesting emotion.
Sometimes I think Some are afraid of what they will find if they make it to where they want to be (because it is the unknown, for a some of us).
Sometimes I think Some people let their inner child use fear of success as an excuse...change is challenging and uncomfortable...but it is empowering and opens lots of opportunities. Some of us unconsciously want to 'stay safely' tucked under our fat, so that we aren't exposed to those new opportunities.

Please note that I used the word SOME...not everyone .... some. emoticon

Edited by: SHERYLDS at: 8/31/2013 (08:58)
USA EST


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