I'm a diagnosed bipolar with social anxiety and PTSD and 75 lbs overweight. I've had long agoraphobic periods in my life and I can relate to a lot of things you are saying and have definitely been there. All I can tell you is you must try as hard as you can NOT to look at the big picture. It's so overwhelming when you think of all that needs to change, it's no wonder we can't motivate ourselves when we look at life this way. Think of where you are right now, and realize that you can only go forward from exactly where you are. Then do the next right thing, no matter how small. Exercise, even 5 minutes. Make a good eating choice. Or drink your water. What I've discovered is that I can screw up 20 per cent of the time and still lose. It may be different for everyone but still, you don't have to be perfect to succeed.
As for berating yourself, resolve to stop. I know it sounds easy, and it's not, but you must. You wouldn't allow a friend to treat you the way you treat you, so don't allow it from yourself either. Telling yourself you're a failure is only going to keep you stuck. When you have those thoughts, say STOP right out loud or in your mind. Try it for one day. It can't hurt. Or write down the berating thought on a small piece of paper, stick it in a jar and close the lid. Put it away. Think it, then release it. Focus on what you CAN do to make today a good day, and worry about tomorrow when it gets here.
When you accept what IS, you can create what can BE
| Pounds lost: 23.4