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Is it what you expected? |
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How interesting. Good for all of you who have lost so much. Someday I hope to be in your shoes.
Nancy from Iowa and North Carolina God Family & Friends Kure Beach, N.C. Proud member of Onyx Outlaws BLC15, BLC 16, BLC 17 Proud co-captain of Onyx Outlaws BLC 18, BLC 19 BLC 20, BLC 21
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ETHELMERZ
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1,364
12/24/12 10:25 P
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It is interesting, and no one likes to talk about this...............the popular notion is that the more weight you lose, the more perfect your life will be, and it just ain't so. It's hard to get used to your thinner self. Do you talk to anyone professional about this, even your dietitian? I was sort of disappointed when I lost alot of weight, each time, life was not rosy, or easy, and I met my wonderful husband only after I had gained some weight back, in fact. So I've stayed in the middle of my weight loss goal, and at this older age, it's better for me. See if you can talk to someone professional about this.
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Yes and no. I was a thin, wiry kid up until I started school. My mom became busier at work, and I went over to a friend's house for a few hours after school and she didn't have the best eating habits, and that transferred over to me. That, combined with the fact that I was young and the other kids didn't like me, plus my natural love for sugar, I grew bigger. So, I knew what being thin and active was, but I had it in my mind that I would be much more outgoing and social if I was still thin. I wouldn't be so self-conscious. I would be able to do the things the other girls did. I thought it would give me confidence, friends, a whole new life... Turns out, I love being small. I'm much happier when I don't see myself as a blubbering ball of...blubber. I am more confident, I can laugh easier, I don't see anybody as being intrinsically better than me (nor do I see myself as being intrinsically better than anybody), but it's not like I lost weight and became small and suddenly I have tons of friends. It's not like I'm not suddenly very talkative and outgoing. I'm still shy. I'm still scared of people. The confidence comes from inside me- not because I'm suddenly thin, but because of what I know I can do, and the community I've been involved in here. I think we tend to think that these physical changes are going to change us mentally, and that's what we really look forward to (minus the health benefits!). Took me a while, but I learned that the PROCESS of getting from heavier to healthier is what changes us mentally :)
"One step in the right direction won't change the world, but it's a start. Someone's got to see the good in everything." -- Said the Whale, Banks of the English Bay "Everything that you believe is everything you need right now." -- David Lanz, Whispered in Signs
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Back in the day when I lost 150lbs and like you I dreamt of being normal as you say I never saw myself as being thin which is the mental part of it I was thin for years after losing that weight and I never felt thin as you said I always saw myself as the blob. Even when people were saying don't lose anymore weight, I'd think why are they saying that to me. As far as it hurting to be thin physically, I did feel more frail little bumps seemed to bother me more then when I had all that cushioning on me to absorb the shock of the hit or bump. It's a huge adjustment you have totally transformed yourself, it didn't really bother me as much as you. I think mine was more emotional, never knew how to take a compliment when men would say I was beautiful I'd feel weird and almost laugh cause you never really see what others see after spending a lifetime being overweight. In time I learned my new physical shape and got use to it and you will too , it's all new to you. You have to understand you lost 120lbs that was a lot of cushion, but GOOD FOR YOU for losing it and staying dedicated!
Edited by: FENWAYGIRL18 at: 12/24/2012 (14:21)
Starting to like the new me! Waiting for my garden to come to life!
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I have spent my entire life being overweight. I was a big baby, a chubby toddler, an overweight child, an obese teenager, and a morbidly obese adult. My entire life I have dreamt of what it would be like to be "normal." Since making a major overhaul in May of 2011, I've lost over 120 lbs. I'm not to my goal weight yet, but I'm certainly not far away. And more importantly, I'm much closer to "normal" than I ever imagined I would be. But as my body continues to shrink, I'm finding myself uncomfortable in my new skin. I don't mean the typical, "Oh, I'm not comfortable with how I look, I feel more self concious than ever!" That topic has been discussed time and time again. I mean truly, physically uncomfortable. The lovely bones I once dreamt of seeing, are these awkward, clanking objects, always getting in the way. Simple things like sitting down on the toilet, or standing with my arms down to my side are now these strange experiences. I feel so sensitive to pain and discomfort, and don't get me started on being constantly cold. I know that it takes some getting use to, but it's so much different than I thought things would be. I use to pray for hip bones, and now as I stand in front of the sink brushing my teeth, with an arm resting on the countertop, I feel my elbow pressing into my hip bone as I lean forward... and I hate it. Even when I'm driving longer than 15-20 minutes, my ribs and hips hurt. I feel like my lower ribs are just grinding into my hip bones, and it's painful. I just feel so... uncomfortable. Now I'm sure some of you really just skimmed through that, but I do want to be clear, the purpose of this post is to discuss the physical aspect of being significantly smaller- not the mental aspect. For those of you who know me, or have seen me posting around the boards, you're well aware that mentally, I am torn about my weight loss, and that I have great difficulty seeing myself as anything other than a blob. However, I'm aware that many many many people struggle to see themselves differently after a dramatic weight loss, especially those who have suffered serious emotional pain and trauma from being overweight. So that's why I just wanted to make sure everyone knows that I'm only asking about the physical side of things, since the mental/emotional part has been discussed many times on the boards. Is there anyone out there who feels this way? I feel like all I read about is people exclaiming how "fit" and "healthy" they feel. Am I the only one who dislikes the feeling of this smaller body? I still have 20-30 pounds until my ultimate goal weight (which is pretty much in the middle of my healthy BMI range) and I'm a little scared of what I'm going to feel like at that point. Will it get better? Am I just at an awkward stage? I hope I'm not alone...
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